


Fated To You

by starhoneyy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A Lot of Plot, Alpha Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - College/University, Ambiguous Relationships, Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Background Relationships, Boys in Skirts, Cheerleaders, Childhood Friends, Complicated Relationships, Developing Friendships, Discussion of Abortion, Discussion of mpreg, Drama & Romance, Dry Humping, Dubious Consent, Emphasis On The Asshole, Fluff, Football, Grinding, Growth, Heed the relationship tags, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Jealousy, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun Being an Asshole, Lee Taeyong Needs a Hug, Lee Taeyong-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Miscommunication, No mpreg, Omega Lee Taeyong, Past Tense, Personal Growth, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Scenting, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soft Taeyong, Sort Of, Tweaked ages, Unresolved Romantic Tension, cheerleading, dotaeten friends, johnjae besties, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 121,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26107537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starhoneyy/pseuds/starhoneyy
Summary: Taeyong wanted to break free from his small town life and start afresh in personality, in manners, and in looks, but people from his past just seem to follow him wherever he goes. Jung Jaehyun is one of them.And someway, somehow, no matter how far apart they'd drift, their paths always ended up intertwined. There was no doubt in Taeyong’s mind when he said it because from the beginning they had known that they were fated."Fated to you."
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 303
Kudos: 572





	1. Familiar Faces And Beer Pong

**Author's Note:**

  * For [internetsdad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/internetsdad/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot can happen in one week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is a gift to one of my favourite authors on this app [internetsdad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/internetsdad), honestly if you haven’t read We Splinter Softly, what are you doing? Thank you to internetsdad for letting me gift this work!  
> Reading about assholes with feelings are my guilty pleasure so why not give it a try?

The wheels of his bag made clicking noises against the pavement as Taeyong dragged his sparse luggage along through the biting, late September air. It was just one bag, that was all he needed to start a new life, to be free from the chains of his small town and coddling family, to find his own way in university away from the clutches of he who must not be named. Or Jaehyun as some people liked to call him.

He couldn't start completely alone, he knew that much, he'd need some other sort of familiarity to keep him from running mad and to make sure he was on the right path. There was one other constant that he decided to keep with him all the way to university and that person was standing in front of him, jaw slackened in sheer astonishment at the sight of Taeyong standing shyly in front of him, purple, flowery, wheely bag acting as some sort of weird shield in front of him.

"Taeyong?" Johnny reeled in disbelief as Taeyong smiled awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot, and Johnny's familiar, spicy cinnamon scent hitting him like a truck. It'd been awhile. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Hi John, what a way to greet a friend," Taeyong said in efforts to sound sarcastic though his voice came out coated more with nervousness than anything else. They weren't friends, not even close, and if he was anyone's friend, it was Jaehyun's not Taeyong's. That was where his loyalty lay and that was the sole reason Taeyong spent an embarrassing fifteen minutes standing outside the door of his apartment before gathering the courage to knock. This could really go either way.

"Jaehyun will have my head for this," Johnny ran a hand down his face in exasperation as Taeyong smiled awkwardly before making his way past him, wheeling in his luggage. "And what do you think you're doing with that?"

"Moving in?" Taeyong answered, ensuring to keep his voice lighthearted and sweet, similar to the coaxing Omega pheromones he was giving out. Johnny seemed to pick up on it and narrowed his eyes. "Listen Johnny," Taeyong rubbed at his neck sheepishly, "I kinda told my parents I'd be moving in with you, that was the only reason they let me go to a school this far."

Johnny ran a hand through his auburn hair with a sigh. Taeyong interrupted him quickly, sensing what he was about to say, he had practiced how the conversation would go in his head a million times before, of course.

"Jaehyun doesn't even go here. He's not going to find out."

Johnny was a nice guy, stand up, righteous. He prided himself on that. They came from the same suffocatingly small town so it wasn't like he didn't know Taeyong. Plus, they both had history together which was hard to ignore now that Taeyong was standing in front of him, pleading and innocent, a light blush blooming on his cheeks as if he remembered that time too.

"It's not Jaehyun," Johnny closed his front door with the click of his tongue. Truth be told, it was Jaehyun but it was still insulting that Taeyong assumed his friend would have that much power over him. They were all adults now, things had changed. "I just have another roommate who I'm not sure is coming back yet to be fucking honest. Dude hasn't called me in weeks."

And Taeyong beamed because if whoever Johnny's ex roommate had went M.I.A, then that meant he probably wasn't coming back anytime soon. He guessed that was code for having failed or dropping out.

Johnny gave him a once over, eyes skeptically raking over a Taeyong smiling with way too much teeth to seem normal, "You're sure your parents are letting you stay with me?" Taeyong nodded eagerly, clasping his hands together and Johnny pursed his lips. "You're paying your half of the rent," He waved a hand dismissively and Taeyong struggled to suppress a squeal. He was betting on Johnny's niceness to even make it this far in the first place.

Johnny then made his way past him, leaving Taeyong to figure out whatever he needed to figure out and claim the other room. How tricky could an apartment be? A kitchen, a toilet, two bedrooms, and an oddly arranged, messy living room by the looks of it.

"You're a smart kid, you'll figure this out," Johnny said apathetically, walking away from him. His phone dinged and he stopped in his tracks. After a pause, he looked back, "And lucky for you, that bastard's not coming back."

Taeyong had to hide the embarrassing squeal that was threatening to spill over his fingertips as Johnny walked away. He went over Johnny's words, the confirmation exciting him before his smile turned into a sour pout,"Why do you guys always call me a kid." Taeyong looked down at the purple flower pattern on his luggage back, the flowers reminded him of spring, a new season. The beginning of his life had barely bloomed.

"You're barely older than me." And really, it was just nonsense muttering to himself, no genuine chagrin behind it, but Johnny's head popped up from out the hallway's corner.

"Would you rather me call you baby?"

There was a sudden resurfacing of a buried two year old memory that caused Taeyong to blush brightly. Johnny laughed boisterously before his head was out of sight again.

"Make yourself at home, kid!"

Living with Johnny for the week before school had officially begun was surprisingly fairly easy. Like a typical Omega, the first thing he did was buy groceries because all the man had was watermelon, bread, water.. and maybe something else edible but it smelt like it had been in the food tub for too long. If that was the life of a man, Taeyong had rather been associated with women, he told himself as he picked up a rotten banana from the fruit bowl and threw it in the bin, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

Taeyong set out for groceries the next day before Johnny woke up to get started on breakfast. It was the least thing he could do after, _y'know_ — barging into his house at nine in the night with zero warning. Plus, walking around the new city was freeing, something he had been hoping for before he arrived. Unlike home, here nobody knew him and he knew nobody. It was simpler that way, being nonexistent, and it also meant that he could go out with pajamas and a bed head and nobody important enough would comment on it.

"Let me lay down some ground rules," Johnny said, forking some eggs into his mouth. His cheeks were puffed out and it oddly reminded Taeyong of a squirrel. Maybe if they were closer he would've bent over the island to pinch them.

"Firstly," Johnny swallowed, "no barging into my room unless you knock _and_ I answer." And Taeyong rolled his eyes because that was fairly obvious. "Secondly, don't leave the toothpaste cap open? Like I feel like that goes without saying but my last roommate—" Johnny pointed his fork at him before picking up some eggs. Taeyong wrinkled his nose at the mention of his previous roommate, the guy was a total slob and the smell of weed in his room would take _at least_ a couple more days to air out.

"—Nevermind. Just.. As long as you keep clean and away from my vinyl collection, I think we'll be good," Johnny finished off casually, swirling his glass around before gulping down the remainder of his orange juice in one go.

"Friends?" Taeyong pressed on with hopeful eyes, leaning his body over the kitchen island. They were on the verge of it but not there just quite yet. There was something holding Johnny back, he could tell. "Or will Jaehyun not allow you," Taeyong said spitefully, slumping back into his seat when Johnny only smiled at his first question.

Johnny's small smile turned into a scowl and he dropped his fork — Though he was mostly done anyways, it was more just scraps and crumbs. "I told you, he doesn't tell me what to do," Johnny pushed back from his seat and Taeyong's eyes followed him as he dropped his plate into the sink somewhat forcefully. He must've struck a nerve.

"So that means we can be friends, right?" Taeyong knew he sounded a bit desperate right now — and in all honesty he _was_ — but he also knew that university life would be a lot easier if someone like Johnny had his back. Plus, he kinda liked Johnny. In a platonic, friendly, we did stuff but let's pretend it didn't happen way.

"Whatever you say," Johnny sighed. "I'm going to shower now so turn on the heater please."

"Wait!" Taeyong stood up abruptly from his half eaten meal, "Let me shower first," Taeyong pleaded. Johnny shot him a wicked grin and before heading inside and Taeyong sat down with a groan. Only God knew the hurricane catastrophe that went on in that bathroom for the next ten minutes because Taeyong put his head in his hands when he opened up the bathroom door.

It would be a long week.

The rest of the days passed by as a blur. It consisted of Johnny going out to wherever Johnny went and coming back at unholy hours of the night. It also consisted of Taeyong's skin itching with anxiousness, not from Johnny's absence, no, he was a grown ass twenty-two year old man and could do what he wanted, but from the thought of starting his first day. His first week. Alone. At university. By himself.

He could (and _did_ at 10pm, the night before, when he was trying to fall asleep) scream from excitement. On Sunday night, he spent three hours looking for the right first day of school outfit, frowning at his lack of choices. He needed a lot more clothes, the clothing stores in his old town just didn't cut it. He wanted to look like a true city gal, not some country town bumpkin. He'd probably use his Omega pheromones to drag Johnny shopping later.

In the end, Taeyong settled for some blue ripped jeans that were more rip than jeans (he had to hide that one in his closet from his mom when he bought it) and a purple hoodie. That was what he wore as he stepped onto campus after being dropped off by Johnny's car — It was a red jeep; large and obnoxious, but it was just so wholly _Johnny_.

"This is where we part ways, kid," Johnny ruffled his blonde hair. Taeyong groaned, it had taken him an hour to style that. "My class is at the other side so I gotta leave you here," Johnny checked his phone and Taeyong nodded solemnly. Johnny's scent was the only sense of familiarity he had here. The campus was so diverse and just filled with people he just _didn't know,_ whereas back at home he could tell who was approaching a mile away just by their smell.

"I'll text you to meet up for lunch," Johnny smiled, sensing Taeyong's discomfort and the younger beamed. He knew Johnny already had friends here so being introduced to them was more than he could have asked for. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Taeyong breathed out with a nod before Johnny set off, walking like he already knew the ins and out of the place which made sense really because he was a senior — And Taeyong would've been close to it too if he hadn't taken those two years off. Gnawing on his bottom lip, he took out his phone from his pocket and opened up the campus map so he could find his first class. He admittedly looked a bit stupid not knowing where he was going and he kept his head down in embarrassment whenever he accidentally bumped into someone.

Despite this, he was actually five minutes early to his class which also meant that he could snag a seat in the back before the auditorium filled in. He laid out his equipment prim and proper, buzzing with excitement at the thought of a new life, the prospect of new friends. He didn't really know how to go about making them though, but luckily, he didn't have to.

"Can I sit here?" A voice called out from beside him. The scent that hit him told him whoever this was was probably a Beta and his guess was right because when he looked at them, their build was strong and lean, greater than an Omega but not quite as intimidating as an Alpha. He kind of smelt like the sea breeze, Taeyong noted, as he sat down.

"I'm Doyoung," the Beta said as he slid into the chair beside Taeyong and held out a hand expectantly.

"I'm Taeyong," he smiled back at him. This was simple, he couldn't mess this up, there was _no way_ he'd mess this up. This was his first friend, and he'd make sure to muster the guts to ask him for his number after class.

"I heard this professor is a total dickhead, some of my cousins told me," Doyoung laughed and Taeyong awkwardly laughed back at him.

From the on, they made some more small talk about the campus and getting their acceptance letters — Doyoung threw a huge party back at home, Taeyong just invited a few close friends (he pathetically admitted, though omitted close friends just meant Donghyuck) — before the teacher came into the hall and all chatter ceased.

"Alright, keep it down. This isn't highschool anymore," the man said gruffly and Doyoung threw him an _I told you so_ look. Taeyong did his best to hold back a genuine laugh.

The class went by pretty standard, exactly how he expected it to be for the first day, the professor warning them that this was a serious class and if they didn't want to be there they should leave now. Obviously, nobody stood up — it was SNU for Gods sake and everyone paid too much in tuition to go there to stupidly give it up — and the professor brought out his powerpoint titled Humanities 101.

Ten minutes or so into class, Taeyong was intensely focused, twirling his pen in his right hand as out of habit, when the door suddenly swung open and with the pheromones that were being given off, it was _impossible_ not to stare at who came through the door. An Alpha like that demanded attention.

_"Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me."_

"What?" Doyoung implored, puzzled beside him, thinking Taeyong was speaking to him. Taeyong's breath was caught too far up he throat to answer, pen now dropped on the table with a light _thud_ , entire body too focused on seeing exactly who came through the door.

"Sorry sir," they bowed but anyone could see it was half assed, just enough to teeter on the edge of polite and rude. If his scent wasn't already abhorrently familiar enough, his deep voice hit Taeyong like a ton of bricks. Taeyong had known it before he even spotted a head of his dark hair.

It was none other than _Jung Jae—fucking—hyun._

Taeyong locked eyes with the alpha and forced the Omega whining in him to sincerely _shut the fuck up._ Jaehyun's honey brown eyes never left his as he took a seat somewhere in the middle row, in front of Taeyong. Far enough to be lost in the crowd but still close enough for Taeyong to smell him — it was purposeful, Taeyong knew that much. That clean peach, and something else very distinct but he could never once in his twenty years place a finger on, wafted directly towards him, travelling up his nostrils and making him dizzy.

"That dude is fucking hot."

Taeyong was jolted out of his reverie by Doyoung who was looking at him for confirmation to which Taeyong only replied with a weak _yeah_. That seemed to satisfy Doyoung as he smiled coquettishly and the class resumed as if someone just hadn't interrupted, but Taeyong of course couldn't just move past it. He couldn't ignore that ever looming presence.

_What is he doing here?_

The rest of the class went by painfully slow — at least, to Taeyong that is — since Jaehyun's interruption and Taeyong couldn't pay attention no matter how much he tried. And he was frustrated at himself for being so distracted but reassured himself that it was just the basics anyways and it would be fine just this one time. His leg bounced as the professor went on speaking words that never sunk and so when the professor announced that they were dismissed, Taeyong did the first thing that came to his distracted mind; bolted embarrassingly fast for the door, not even bothering to ask for Doyoung's number like he had planned to.

His phone buzzed in his pocket while he sped down a corridor looking for a toilet, because for the first time in awhile, he felt physically sick. He ignored Johnny's text most likely asking how his first class had gone like the absolute angel he was, and instead holed himself up in the bathroom. Not the best way to spend an in between class break, he knew, but he was freaking out too much to care.

The toilet was empty ( _Thank God_ ) and Taeyong bent over the sink, racking his brain and trying to fit the pieces of the puzzle together so it'd all make sense.

SNU. Jaehyun. SNU. Jaehyun. The two didn't go together, the two weren't _meant_ to be together. Jaehyun wasn't supposed to be at this school, he was meant to be somewhere far, far, _far_ away on a scholarship for football. Taeyong had specifically chosen SNU because it was a good enough distance from both home and Jaehyun's rightful university. A two day commute at best. So what the fuck was Jaehyun doing here?

The bathroom door creaked open and the sweet scent of peach hit him. "I figured I'd find you here. Why do you always run into toilets?"

That was admittedly a good question, _why_ did he always run into toilets? It was easier for Jaehyun to find him if he knew where he was going and he'd barely been in hiding for five minutes without being found out. He always had a habit of making it too easy. He promised himself he would stop being too easy.

"What are you doing here, Jae?" Taeyong breathed out of his mouth, looking up from the sink and back at Jaehyun who was watching him with mirth in his eyes. If he inhaled Jaehyun's scent more than he needed to through his nose he'd probably faint. Or maybe die. And maybe it was an exaggeration, but in that moment, he'd actually prefer that.

"You ask such silly questions, babe. Where you go, I follow," Jaehyun pointed between the both of them with an index finger, tone casual as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. He leaned on the door, crossing his arms and raising his brows as if he was genuinely curious. "Why do you keep running away from me?"

"Because you're suffocating me," Taeyong hissed, snapping his head towards him.

He couldn't breathe through his mouth for long, _he was in a toilet for Gods sake,_ so Jaehyun's powerful scent now infiltrated his nose and messed with his senses. He hadn't smelt it for awhile now and it was giving him a bit of a headache, making his mind fuzz up and spin a bit like it always did when he was around. The Omega in him missed it.

"Listen Jae, _please_. Just leave, you can find someone else to obsess over," Taeyong pleaded. Jaehyun laughed and stepped forward causing Taeyong to take several step backs. Too close. His scent, his body heat, his _everything_ was too close.

A step closer and they would've been chest to chest but Jaehyun stopped in place and tilted his head, his dark gaze making Taeyong feel stark, stripped, vulnerable, naked, "This school has a pretty good sports team, don't you think?"

Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows at him as Jaehyun stepped away from him with a coquettish smile and sauntered over to the door, his demeanour screaming that he had no care in the world. And Taeyong pursed his lips because what the hell did their sports team have to do with this?

Suddenly, the realisation came like a slap in the face as Jaehyun turned to him, sporting a wicked grin as he opened the bathroom door. His lips parted, teeth bright and shiny, eyes taunting;

"It means I'm here to stay."

  
  


Taeyong had contemplated moving schools. Maybe even countries if he got the chance, somewhere like Canada or maybe even to a nice tropical island like Malta. Hawaii seemed lovely too. Though in the end, he was stuck in SNU, partly because he didn't want to explain his move to his parents who he was sure they'd insist he just go to a local college at home ( _God forbid_ ), and majorly because he was too broke to afford another set of tuition fees. He was stuck in SNU whether he liked it or not.

(He very, very, very much did not like it, no offence to Johnny nor Doyoung.)

It wasn't all that bad, he tried to reason with himself at night, but that even sounded more stupid when he said it out loud. It _was_ that bad but he was going to make it not _that_ bad because Jung Jaehyun wasn't about to ruin his University experience. Not today, not tomorrow, not the next time they had a class together, nope. Not _ever_.

But as of right now, that was proving hard to stick to since Johnny had invited him to a party and against his better judgement, because he knew Jaehyun would be there, Taeyong agreed. Besides, this would be his first Uni party, the first one of the week he was invited to really and he didn't want to let that opportunity slip through his fingertips. Old Taeyong would have avoided it with a burning passion but he was no longer old Taeyong. This was Taeyong 2.0, Taeyong new and improved — at least, that's what he told himself when he gave himself a pep talk in the mirror.

There was still a buzz from freshers week and Johnny told Taeyong he knew a guy who knew a guy, who knew several more guys in Johnny's interconnected friend group, so that's why Taeyong found himself getting ready for the party with nobody holding him back. In addition to this, he was tired of this stupid hold Jaehyun had over him, that Jaehyun still _thought_ he had over him. Well, no more. He had chosen to show that perfectly by purposefully picking an outfit he knew would get the Alpha riled up.

"Whew, Tae," Johnny wolf whistled as he entered the room, Taeyong didn't bother to correct him about the fact that he didn't knock even though he'd get mad if Taeyong didn't. Double standards.

"You look sexy," Johnny openly looked him up and down, biting his lips before finishing off with an amused, knowing grin. It was always like Johnny knew what Taeyong was thinking. He'd been looking at Taeyong like that since they were seven. "Hurry it up, though, we leave in five."

Taeyong patted his cheeks to cool down his warm blush as Johnny exited the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Did he really look that good? It was his first time wearing something so... so _exposed_. A sheer black top with a few of the buttons open and his favourite black, ripped jeans. He topped it off with a cross earring and some sparkly silver shadow and gloss, that was all he could do really even after binge watching an excessive amount of makeup tutorials.

Tonight was _his_ night, he could feel it in his bones.

"Yong!" Johnny called out to him from the front door.

Taeyong scrambled for his things before taking a deep 'you can do this' breath and meeting Johnny at the door. Despite how aloof Johnny was when he first arrived, he acted warmer towards Taeyong now, though there was still a barrier that prevented him from getting too close, but that had been there for as long Taeyong knew him so it was easy enough to dismiss. And Taeyong understood why he had so many friends, Johnny had a way of making people feel at ease and welcomed which was _especially_ helpful since Taeyong was practically writing with nerves.

When they made their way outside to the carpool, there were five people squashed into the car, and despite Johnny being offered to ride shotgun, he sat beside Taeyong at the back instead and by God, Taeyong was so thankful for it. It reeked of Alphas who snapped their heads towards Taeyong as soon as they approached, noses flared as a clear sign that the Omega smelled sweet. Taeyong muttered a timid 'hi' before sliding in, body pressed against the car door.

If the Alphas had smelt his fear, they didn't comment on it. All of them returned to their previous conversations like Taeyong wasn't even there and dragging Johnny along with them. He could feel Johnny's shoulder shake against his every time he laughed. And it was better this way, Taeyong thought, he was never much good at small talk in the first place.

Taeyong could tell they were arriving at the frat house when the music was intolerably loud yet the frat house was barely even in sight. They pulled up and walked in as a group, Taeyong trailing behind them and, rubbing at his exposed arms. He had begun regretting his outfit choice already but quickly pushed that thought back. This was for the greater good.

The frat house smelt like a mix of alcohol, sweaty Alphas, and something else he couldn't exactly place his finger on when they stepped inside. Some guy greeted them over enthusiastically at the door and eyed Taeyong's erect nipples (darn the cold) a little too long for his liking. Johnny took note and pulled Taeyong closer beside him as Taeyong huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You can stick with me for the rest of the night, okay kid?" Johnny leaned down to whisper in his ear and Taeyong nodded. He didn't have much choice anyways and now that they had arrived, he had begun to realise that he was much more out of his element than he'd originally estimated. Parties back at home could never compare to this, this blew Sooyoung Phan's sixteenth out of the water by far even if she did have a pool and a few bottles of her parents liquor.

Taeyong willed his body to relax as they went into the kitchen and when that faintly familiar sting of alcohol hit the back of his throat, his body _did_ relax. If only a little bit anyways.

They (ie Johnny and his macho Alpha friends) were invited for a game of beer pong. Taeyong stood, watching awkwardly at first before Johnny insisted that he have a go and Taeyong relented because who could really deny Johnny? And at first, Taeyong had fantastic aim, much to the crowd (and his own) surprise. Everyone in his team, people he had seen before and not, patted his back triumphantly every time he made a shot. He liked this. He could do this. He could do it until his fingers slipped and he lost.

"Sorry guys," Taeyong mumbled to them sheepishly and some threw him reassuring looks and others, who were previously cheering him, completely ignored him. Taeyong stepped back to let Johnny have a turn, sipping on the strange liquid in the red solo cup. He sniffed it. Whiskey maybe? No, this wasn't as strong. Tequila? Too sweet. He gave up after that guess, he wasn't well enough versed in alcohol for it.

Taeyong's eyes wandered around the room —the electric lights flashing colours so often it was enough to make him feel epileptic — and vaguely noticed some people from his classes. His stomach turned when he realised he needed to pee and stepped forward to tell Johnny he was off to find a toilet. Johnny replied with the wave of a hand and something about beer (he clearly wasn't listening, Taeyong rolled his eyes) and Taeyong set off to find it on his own.

Coming with Johnny probably wasn't the smartest idea, Taeyong needed his own group of friends if he were ever to attend a party again — which, at this rate, seemed too far off in the future to be tangible.

After being jostled around the crowd like a pinball, Taeyong's long arms finally reached the railings of the stairs. He hoisted himself up and slipped past the zig zagging obstacles that were couples making out, and stumbled into the hallway. The first door he opened made him blanche — two Alphas were together and suddenly the smell he couldn't place his finger on when he came in earlier revealed itself — the place _reeked_ of sex.

Taeyong threw out an awfully strung set of apologies before shutting the door again. Two Alphas together? He didn't even know that was possible. He scolded himself for being such a small town boy and his Omega for initially being somewhat disgusted by it.

The next door he entered, he peeked through first and let out a sigh of relief when he saw that it was actually a toilet this time. He did his business and while he was finishing up in the stall, the door to the bathroom swung open and he was hit with the distinct smell of an Alpha he could recognise anywhere. Taeyong stilled with a sharp intake of breath.

"I can smell you in here, Tae," Jaehyun said passively, bored almost.

Taeyong closed his eyes and relaxed his body, starting from the tips of his fingers down to the top of his toes, before exiting the stall and making his way over to the sink, ensuring he didn't spare Jaehyun a glance. For as languid as Jaehyun's position was leaning against the sink with his arms crossed, his eyes, however, were boring into Taeyong's body so intensely that it was unsettling.

"What are you doing here?"

And as soon as the question came out of Taeyong's mouth, he knew it was stupid. Jaehyun knew it too since he didn't answer. _Of course_ Jaehyun was invited, he was invited everywhere.

With no reply and the tension beginning to settle heavily on his chest and weighing him down, Taeyong straightened up from the sink after drying his hands and side stepped Jaehyun to leave the toilet. An arm grabbed his on the way out, and to be honest, he was kind of hoping for it, he expected it at the very least.

"Since when did you dress like this?" Jaehyun asked, searching his eyes and before Taeyong could retort with something along the lines of _'You can't dictate what I wear'_ (he prepared that line beforehand in his head), Jaehyun interrupted him. "No, Tae," he insisted firmly, like he knew exactly what Taeyong was thinking, "I said _since when?_ "

His eyes raked up and down Taeyong's lithe body, causing Taeyong's cheeks to be dusted as strawberry pink as his scent. He was suddenly hyper aware of what he was wearing. Jaehyun's question was valid, he supposed. He _did_ dress relatively modest back at home, but again, he could now do what he wanted, even if it made him uncomfortable or was a tad bit too much out of his comfort zone.

Jaehyun removed the hand from his arm and placed it down on his sides so he could turn Taeyong to fully face him and where he touched, it tingled.

"I like it though," he said with a mix of amusement and interest though the smirk he wore was mocking, making Taeyong harshly pull away. The Omega in him whined for the Alpha's touch on his waist again but he shut it up, he was stronger than that. He was _trying_ to be stronger than that.

This conversation wasn't going the way he had rehearsed in his head, _no_. He was anticipating Jaehyun to lay his claim, get annoyed at him, protest even and Taeyong would fire back with a line he had so bravely prepared to shut him down but instead Jaehyun was looking at him almost... almost as if he was _impressed_.

"You look good, Tae," Jaehyun stepped forward and placed a hand on his cheek, cradling its sides. His thumb brushed over Taeyong's lip as he stared down at Taeyong, eyes swirling with something dark, setting Taeyong's cheeks on fire. His chest felt hot and heavy, constricting tighter and tighter as Jaehyun leaned in and tilted his head, lips brushing past his face to his ear. Taeyong clenched his fists, aware of something swirling in his gut, threatening to produce slick if he got aroused.

"You smell like Johnny," Jaehyun voiced suddenly, pulling away with creased brows. That slapped Taeyong out of his reverie. "Why the fuck do you smell like Johnny?"

Taeyong wasn't about to let Jaehyun know that he _lived_ with his best friend. Not now at least.

"Why?" Taeyong breathed out, he hated how shaky his voice sounded. "Maybe I was with him," Taeyong said indignantly. And in all honesty, Taeyong loved how he had defended himself even if it was something so small. It was one of the first times and the action had given him such a small but gigantic thrill he couldn't he had to contain himself from smiling. But, of course, Jaehyun didn't like it.

The Alpha narrowed his eyes and set his jaw hard, teeth grinding together like he was keeping himself from lashing out. Taeyong took an unconscious step back from the pheromones he was producing. What the hell was going on with those two? The last time Taeyong had seen them together... Well, he couldn't remember the last time but he knew they were on good terms then at least. Or maybe he was just mad because it was just another Alpha, not Johnny in particular. That made more sense, he reasoned.

"And when the fuck did you get your ears pierced?"

"Why, do I need your permission for that too?" Taeyong rolled his eyes, voice sarcastic, annoyed at what Jaehyun had done to him once again — Acting like he was going to kiss Taeyong just now then suddenly pulling away just because he smelt another Alpha. This was what pissed Taeyong off to no end. He was always so hot and cold.

"When did you start acting like this Tae?" Jaehyun's steel eyes traced his face and Taeyong rolled his eyes for what he knew wouldn't be the last time that night. When he started acting like this? It was when he realised he had to put himself out there to get what he needed. Jaehyun could never give him what he wanted, he pretended like he could, but in the end he could never tread over that fine line.

"Since I decided to move on from you," Taeyong said simply, breathing out lightly, but in reality, his heart was beating out of his chest with the way Jaehyun was staring at him, so cold and unforgiving. He felt something warm between his ass — chagrined that he somehow found this _attractive_ — and stepped back to leave. This time, Jaehyun didn't stop him.

Taeyong felt like he could finally fucking _breathe_ when he was far enough away and thank God Jaehyun didn't follow. Jaehyun and his stupid scent was making him dizzy and irrational and made him want to kiss that stupid frown off his face until his jaw relaxed into that stupid, stupid, dimpled smile. Taeyong closed his eyes and shook his head.

_No._

He set off downstairs again, fingers slightly trembling as he searched for Johnny. He was no longer at the beer pong table anymore, it was a whole new set of people Taeyong didn't recognise. This was bad. He was an Omega at a party alone and he was dressed way out of his comfort zone and he was beginning to get scared and—

"Taeyong?" A voice came from behind him and he whipped around quickly. His shoulders at ease when he saw that it was none other than Doyoung, a harmless Beta (not that Beta's were harmless but again, it was just _Doyoung_ ). "I can't believe you're here, didn't peg you for a party guy," he laughed in amusement before he stopped to give Taeyong a once over.

His lips quirked upwards, exposing his pink gums, "You look hot." Taeyong blushed at the Beta. "And uncomfortable," Doyoung tilted his head and pursed his lips. "Come with me."

Doyoung didn't leave time for him to reply as he grabbed Taeyong's arm (the same spot Jaehyun grabbed, he noted, much to his own annoyance), and pulled him over to a more secluded corner of the party — less couples making out and overall less sweaty Alphas. The tense Omega in him relaxed a little.

"Do you want a drink?" Doyoung asked him and Taeyong shook his head politely. He just wanted to go home and preferably without a hangover, they still had classes in the morning. "Good, I'm not a fan of alcohol either, I wouldn't know what to recommend," Doyoung grinned and Taeyong found himself smiling back, unable to resist his gummy smile.

They fell into easy conversation, Doyoung taking the lead like he had done in class and Taeyong found himself feeling the most relaxed since he set foot into the godforsaken party. Still somewhat on edge, but super relaxed. Plus, Doyoung was nice to talk to and he spoke like he and Taeyong had been friends for years and not just bordering acquaintances who shared a couple classes.

"What's with that Alpha?" Doyoung said suddenly, diverging from their topic of the best waffle houses in the city. (Spoiler; Taeyong had been to none.) "He's been glaring daggers at me since I brought you over here."

"What—" Taeyong looked over his shoulder and sure enough, there was Jaehyun standing with over with a red solo cup, in a circle with some friends. His whole attention was on Taeyong though.

Taeyong bit his lip, "It's just.."

"Complicated?" Doyoung raised a brow. "I've had my fair share of asshole Alphas so if you ever need to kick his ass or something, I've got you—"

Taeyong was trying to pay attention, he really was, but he couldn't help but glance back at Jaehyun. This time, however, his eyes were settled on someone else. An Omega girl. Taeyong felt the familiar pang of his heart as he turned away from the pair.

"Okay?" Doyoung looked at him for confirmation at the end of his spiel and Taeyong nodded his head. That put a short lived smile on Doyoung's face before his face turned sour again, "And here comes another one."

"I'm so sorry for leaving you like that," Johnny grabbed his hand (third one in a row, _nice_ ). "I'll never— who's this?" he straightened up when he noticed Doyoung smiling distastefully at the pair of them, arms crossed.

"No need to use your damn Alpha pheromones," he rolled his eyes, "I was just keeping your friend, Taeyong, here busy," Doyoung shot Taeyong a lazy glance before returning his attention back to Johnny. Johnny stared at him intensely, face schooled into a blank expression as Taeyong wriggled under his grip. He was beginning to get uncomfortable.

"Thank you so much for keeping me company, Doyoung," Taeyong smiled honestly at him in efforts to alleviate the growing tension. "And let's go. Your smell is making people look over," Taeyong pulled away from him with one harsh tug and rubbed at his now sore arm.

Johnny suddenly snapped his attention back to Taeyong and smiled again before nodding.  
Taeyong shot Doyoung one last thankful look before Johnny pulled him to the door. Doyoung watched him with a brow raised and interested expression, before he was fully out of sight.

As he passed through the crowd to the front door, he bumped into a girl, recognising her face immediately. It was the same Omega girl Jaehyun had been with and now her lips were red and swollen and her smile sickeningly was dopey. Taeyong felt like throwing up.

"Sorry," she said quickly and Taeyong nodded his head dumbly, unable and not bothering to form words as Johnny pulled him out by the hand. She looked like she'd been kissing someone if her lips and dazed expression in her eyes was anything to go buy. And a part of him he didn't want to admit to hoped that it wasn't Jaehyun, though he knew better. He knew much better.

Taeyong promised himself he'd came to tell Jaehyun to finally leave him alone, to tell Jaehyun that he'd move on and was no longer under whatever stupid claim Jaehyun had over him. He came to break _his_ heart but why was he leaving with his heart feeling crushed as Johnny ushered him into the car? He was tired of it. Jaehyun couldn't go around kissing anybody and everybody yet get pissy whenever Taeyong so much as looked at a guy. If Jaehyun was treating Taeyong like he was a toy he could play with whenever he wanted, then Taeyong could do so too.

_If this is a game to you, Jung, fine. Game on._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first chapter :o I hope it was good/okay!!! Thank you for taking your time to read! <3 (please excuse mistakes, author is a lazy twat)  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc!](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	2. Go Go SNU!

The plan of action in and of itself was kind of ( _very_ ) messy and kind of fuzzy, because Taeyong wasn't really sure where to go from there. Sure, he wanted to show Jaehyun he could be his own person, he wanted to prove to _himself_ that he could stand his own ground without Jaehyun and his overbearing parents but he didn't know where exactly to begin with it. Moving out to SNU was one thing but what was next? The answer came to him in the form of Doyoung's offhand suggestion during lunch.

"You'd look hot as a cheerleader," Doyoung said to him as he took in another spoonful of blueberry yoghurt, some of it getting onto the corner of his lips. Taeyong looked up from his books scattered on the table from his last minute revision of their pop quiz (which wasn't really a pop quiz if you told them? And for fucks sake, he wasn't in highschool anymore) and furrowed his brows.

"Like the whole cheerleader shtick, pompoms and skirts," Doyoung pointed his spoon at him. Taeyong wanted to reach out and wipe the yoghurt from the corner of his lips. "Could you imagine yourself in a skirt? Hot."

Taeyong blushed furiously, rubbing his cheeks with his hands. After knowing Doyoung for an extra two weeks, he still was unable to get over his bluntness, sometimes bordering flirting if he was being honest and didn't know any better. Doyoung nodded his head wistfully at his own suggestion before licking his lips and dipping his spoon back in the yoghurt tub.

"Do you think I'd be good at it?" Taeyong asked hesitantly. Doyoung raked his eyes over Taeyong as if he was thinking before producing his regular, pinkish smile.

"You have the body for it, so maybe if you're flexible enough, you should go for the tryouts. Plus," he pointed his spoon at him again, this time covered in yoghurt, "Imagine all the Alphas."

Though Doyoung was constantly off and on with his Alpha-centric opinions, it was still enough to sell Taeyong on the spot. He thought back to Jaehyun and how he'd react. Back in highschool, Taeyong recalled actually having wanted to try cheer at one point but the captain didn't even let him try out, _obviously_ due to somebody elses influence. The thing was, Jaehyun couldn't have that kind of influence here. At least, he hoped not.

"That's actually a really good idea," Taeyong affirmed with a wide smile. Perhaps Doyoung was good at other things than giving him sex tips they both knew Taeyong most definitely wouldn't be using any time soon. "Like, the best idea you've come up with.

Doyoung scoffed before feigning hurt with a hand on his chest. "I have a lot of great ideas I'd have you know. Plus, I remember I wore a skirt this one time and oh God, you should've seen the Alpha's reaction. He fucking—"

 _Anddd_ , that's when Taeyong zoned out. He didn't need to listen to Doyoung go on another one of his sex life tangents. Besides, now that the idea was simmering in his brain, he couldn't get it out. It was genuinely perfect. What better way to get under Jaehyun's skin than that? With some hard work he'd be able to prep himself for the upcoming tryouts and hopefully make it through. Okay, Taeyong was super excited now.

Also, looking at Doyoung reminded him that he _really_ needed some new friends.

With a lot of determination, failed flips, and a nearly sprained ankle, Taeyong worked himself to death for the next two weeks, using the school's open field as a practice area. In the second week, he met another cheerleader whilst he was splayed out on the school's green, out of breath from way too much exercise, or maybe from his lack of previous exercise — he didn't know and he was too tired to care.

A shadow obscured the light in his eyes. "Your form is terrible," a scathing voice came from above him. Taeyong's eyes shot open from where he lay and he pulled himself up quickly to face the figure — an Omega no doubt from his delicious, honey scent. "Your angles are slightly off and you're nearly a full beat after the music," the person said with distaste, sipping on their boba.

"I'm sorry?" Taeyong honestly didn't know what else to reply to that and now his dreams were getting crushed by some random Omega who thought he was better than him. Well, he probably was better than him considering the fact that he knew all that stuff.

"I'm Ten," the Omega reached out a hand to him. Taeyong eyed the pretty hand before taking it reluctantly and the Omega — Ten — pulled him up with a surprising amount of strength. "I'm guessing you're trying out for our school's cheerleading team?"

Taeyong flushed with a nod as he brushed off his grassy knees. When he finally looked up properly at the Omega, he was struck dumb by his beauty. The man had pretty, perfectly curved lips and feline eyes. His dark hair fell over his forehead nicely and complimented his facial structure, not too mention his voice was enchanting too. Taeyong suddenly felt oddly insecure.

"I am," Taeyong said tentatively, brushing his blonde hair behind his ears. "I don't think I'll be able to get in if I'm as bad as you say I am though," he blushed.

"I mean, you're not _terrible_ ," Ten laughed, stirring the boba cup in his hand and Taeyong frowned. He couldn't tell if he was lying or not. "All I said was that you need some work... I could help with that if you want."

Taeyong stared at him in disbelief, why would he be willing to help a total stranger? Not that Taeyong was super menacing or anything, at least he didn't think he was, but still, Ten was either confident or careless. Maybe both, Taeyong figured, though he wished he could be half as self assured as him.

"Here, give me your phone," Ten handed his drink over and Taeyong took it without protest, giving over his phone in exchange. The phone case was pink and sparkly, so old that the sparkles had been coming off and he hoped Ten didn't notice. Ten took no note of his decaying phone case as he typed in some numbers with a coy smile before calling his own phone briefly and handing Taeyong's back over.

"Perfect.” Ten smiled. "Call me."

The boy walked off, leaving Taeyong dumbstruck and rooted in place, his leftover cup of boba in hand. Taeyong thought to call him back to get his drink but with how Ten seemed to be, something in Taeyong told him he might've ignored him on purpose instead. Taeyong threw it out in the bin on his way out of the green, mulling over the right time to call.

And it turned out that Taeyong didn't need to call him at all because Ten called him the morning after first. He told Taeyong to meet him on the green again, at the same time, and with an embarrassingly little amount of hesitation, Taeyong agreed — It wasn't as if he wasn't going to procrastinate with his assignments anyways (the year was starting off rockier than he had hoped) but at least now he had a good reason.

Ten showed up ten minutes late (Taeyong giggled at the double meaning as Ten approached) with a cheshire smile. Taeyong realised why he was smiling so hard ten seconds later (another laugh), it was because Ten smelled heavily like a random, pine scented Alpha, his own honey scent drowned out.

"Are you ready?" Ten placed a hand on his hips to which Taeyong only nodded shyly. He'd bring up the Alpha thing maybe if it were Doyoung but it wasn't his business nor were they that close. He didn't have to either. "Sorry I was late," he apologised, "Traffic held me up." Ten wiggled his brows playfully.

They then quickly started with Taeyong showing Ten what he could do so far, jumps and basic high kicks, and from there, Ten showed him exactly how to adjust himself into a better position for each move. He did feel a lot lighter in his movements thanks to the Omega's help, and Ten showed him a few new moves as the week progressed. Mid week, Johnny had run into them on campus.

"Woah there," Johnny grinned as he made his way to class, he looked genuinely impressed and Taeyong could only cough at his words. He saw Ten lips curl from his side view.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Yongs, just wait till Jaehyun sees this," he teased and Taeyong blushed furiously at the thought of his partial ( _large_ ) motivation.

"Who's Jaehyun?" Ten butted in and Johnny looked over at him in surprise then interest when he realised who had been there the whole time — he had a habit of doing that, Taeyong noted, first Doyoung and now Ten, he honestly might have been doing it on purpose to rile them up.

Johnny smirked and placed his hands in his back pockets. "Who's the friend?" Johnny raised a curious brow, glancing back at Taeyong. Before Taeyong could answer, Ten interrupted again.

"Why not just ask the friend himself?" he placed an indignant hand on his hips. Johnny seemed to take a liking to that and stepped forward, his cinnamon scent increasing and mixing with Ten's honey that was usually on full blast anywaus no matter the situation. Ten cocked a brow, "I'm right here, go ahead."

Taeyong's eyes widened at the challenge Ten was setting up and he stepped back, sensing the obvious tension and the pheremones coming off the pair. They were terribly horny and _in public_ for christ's sake!

"I'll just leave you guys to it..." Taeyong backed away awkwardly and silently packed up his things. They barely spared him a glance as he left, a half assed goodbye really.

The next day, Ten came to their practice sporting a wicked grin and smelling a lot like Taeyong's roommate Alpha.

The days blurred by seamlessly until it was Monday evening, the dreaded day of the tryouts. It took place at six when the sun was still up but the air was cooling into something that just nipped at his skin slightly. Taeyong approached the gym room nervously, standing outside the door for a few minutes before finally mustering the courage to _get the fuck on with it_ and step inside.

The inside didn't exactly put any of his worries at ease either because if anything, they were amplified. There were mostly girls there and the ones that were practicing were definitely way out of his league — he didn't even know people could _move_ like that. On second glance there, Taeyong realised that actually there were _only_ girls there with the exception of Ten who stood in the corner conversing with a group of them. And it then made sense as to why Ten had wanted to help him in the first place. They were the only males trying out for the team.

Taeyong walked over to a table where two girls sat talking animatedly, hesitant to disrupt their conversation. He shifted timidly in front of them first to get their attention but when that didn't work, he lightly cleared his throat, "Um.. excuse me?" The girls’ heads turned to him in surprise. Taeyong looked down shyly at his feet before continuing, "I came here for the cheerleader tryouts."

"Oh," one of the girls said with the shape of her lips copying the word, and Taeyong began to frown because he couldn't tell if it was a good thing. "Oh no, it's fine!" she said quickly and stood up. Her friend stayed seated. "The team's already set because people don't usually try out. See, it's all the same people from last year," she waved a hand around the room and Taeyong noticed that most of them already had uniforms on, Ten included.

"But of course you can try out! We're always welcome to more members, people seem to value books more than sports here at SNU.” She rolled her eyes. "Except for the _football_ team." And Taeyong couldn't tell whether she was spiteful or not. "But yes, we'd love to have you. If you're any good of course."

Taeyong didn't know if he was _good_ but he could try.

"My name's Rosé by the way, I'm team captain.” She held out a hand, and Taeyong shook it. Her hands were really soft, not a surprising trait for an Omega but it was still nice to notice. "Listen up everybody! New recruit!"

As Rosé yelled, the chatter in the gym died down and Taeyong flushed from the amount of attention. Ten noticed him with a stunned expression and rushed over, greeting Taeyong with a tight hug, making Rosé and some other girls laugh around him.

"You came! Well done," Ten pinched his cheeks and Taeyong could only thank God there weren't more people in the gym to watch the embarrassing display of affection. And it was as if Taeyong had manifested it because speak of the devils themselves.

The second door to the gym room swung open, connected to the outside, and in came a large amount of Alphas dressed in heavy football gear. Some went to some of the cheerleaders and a few stuck together, but throughout the heady amount of them, one Alpha was unmistakable — and if Taeyong was truly being honest, he had sniffed out his scent before he even came in the room.

"Oh," Rosé flushed, "I'm really sorry. We didn't think anyone was coming to tryout, and the football team usually visit us before their practice. They're dating some of the girls you see."

And that much was fucking obvious, as the Alphas whispered into their Omegas ears, turning them a bright shade of crimson. Taeyong too was an unnatural shade of red, not out of some lovesick spell, but out of apprehension because Jaehyun had noticed him and his expression had morphed from out of sheer astonishment into something akin to anger. As Jaehyun took several step forwards, Taeyong instinctively took a step back, Ten grabbing unto his arm with a confused expression.

"You okay, Tae?" Ten whispered in concern, "You can audition later if you want, not in front of all the Alphas—"

"Taeyong." Ten was interrupted by a harsh voice and the strong scent of peaches. Taeyong's strawberry scent dimmed, souring at the new arrival. Ten gave Jaehyun a once over, eyebrows piqued in curiosity and Taeyong wanted to warn him of the danger of the likes of Jung Jaehyun. Though, throughout everything, he stayed silent.

Jaehyun stared at him, Taeyong staring not as intensely back, somewhat in surprise from not expecting to see Jaehyun there — and it shouldn't have been a surprise really, he was on the football team after all, _of course_ they'd frequent the gym. Ten and Rosé stepped away, even Rosé's silent friend, all sensing that the Alpha wanted some privacy. What an Alpha wants, an Alpha gets. Taeyong knew this by now. He had been one to give into that too. He still did.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jaehyun began, no warning to shield Taeyong from the venom laced in his tone. Without missing a beat, he added, "Since when were you into cheerleading?"

Taeyong shook his head to get rid of his shock and found the words that were previously stuck somewhere in his throat, "Since highschool, Jae. You know that." And Jaehyun _should've_ known that because they knew a lot more about each other than they needed to. "I'm trying out today because I've been practicing."

"No," Jaehyun verbalised flatly, eyes emotionless. Taeyong's ears had to double take to make sure they had heard that correctly. "You heard me, I said _no_ ," he reaffirmed, eyes slitting just slightly at the prospect of being challenged. He didn't know what had came over Taeyong these days but he didn't fucking like it.

"How the fuck can you say _no?_ " Taeyong said in disbelief, the surprise causing him to curse at Jaehyun, something he'd never really done before, not as kids, not even in middle school or highschool. Jaehyun's nostrils flared and his Alpha pheromones intensified, causing a number of heads to look their way, it was clear he didn't like where the conversation was going. It was supposed to have ended at his verdict.

"You don't get to tell me no. Surprise, surprise, Jae, don't know if you've noticed yet, this isn't highschool and you can't stop me anymore."

Jaehyun's jaw hardened. "I never stopped you."

Taeyong threw his hands up from the sheer ridiculousness of his statement. They were making a scene but in that moment, he didn't care, it was only him and Jaehyun, Jaehyun and him, like it had always been. Until it wasn't.

"Yeah, tell that to the cheer captain you told to not even let me audition," he scoffed. "You're even trying to stop me _now_." And Jaehyun couldn't retort that one because that was _exactly_ what he was trying to do, they both know that much. Taeyong just couldn't wrap his head around _why_.

Taeyong placed a hand to his chest, his clothed muscle, to push him to the side and he moved — And Taeyong knew it wasn't because he had any real strength, not against an Alpha of Jaehyun's calibre, but because Jaehyun had _let_ him. That thought only made him more annoyed, stomping almost childishly over towards Rosé who was staring at him wide eyed and Ten who was grinning, entertained.

Taeyong took a deep breath. "I'd like to audition now, please."

Rosé nodded at him a bit too quickly and Taeyong guessed she was probably just afraid of Jaehyun's stupid pheromones because if he didn't know Jaehyun, especially as well as he did, he would be too. Ten, on the other hand, seemed not to care and gave Taeyong the option of backing out of it if he wasn't ready.

"You know you don't have to do it now, right? I could always get the girls to reschedule for you," Ten held his hands and squeezed it, smiling reassuringly, though his smile was still playful, having enjoyed the scene that went down before him.

Taeyong felt some of the tension in his body dissipate and he smiled back before shaking his head and pulling away. He could do this, he had come to this school to break out of his timid shell and make new friends — Ten and Doyoung already and even though he chose not to invite Doyoung in fear of embarrassing himself, he knew Doyoung would have given him his 100% support. And maybe he should've because right then and there, he needed it a lot more than he let on.

Rosé called for the gym floor to be cleared and everyone took a seat, all a lot quieter after the display from earlier. The embarrassment was beginning to set into his bones and creeped its way evidently into his features, but Taeyong took a deep breath to try and push down his nerves before he began. He was just thankful he came in already wearing gym clothes because if he had to leave to change, he may not have had the same amounts of guts as he did now to come back in.

The generic music started and Taeyong started the routine he had been practicing for almost two weeks, running into a high jump, a kick, a special move Ten called a _slut drop_ , and a few more overly practiced moves before ending with a split. The gym was silent when he finished and Taeyong hesitated to look up at their reactions — what he could smell though, was the faint scent of horniness from a few of the unmated Alphas and somewhere in the crowd he heard a snarl — probably belonging to Jaehyun, though he didn't look back to check.

Ten was the first to clap, followed by Rosé and in turn, a bunch of the other girls who then rushed up to him to tell him he'd got the spot. Taeyong didn't necessarily think he was that good, partly suspecting Ten had a hand in getting him in and he was also maybe at some sort of advantage because they needed more men to make it diverse. Fair or not, he wasn't complaining. He was in and that was all that mattered.

In the midst of being congratulated, Taeyong heard a door slam shut and the smell of peaches die down from the room.

The first person who broke the news of his cheerleading feat to was his little cousin, Donghyuck, back at home. Donghyuck was ecstatic, over the moon, a lot more excited than Taeyong himself was even. He had told Taeyong and he quotes, _'it was about fucking time'_ to which Taeyong scolded him for his bad language and Donghyuck ignored him like he always did before proceeding to tell Taeyong that he'd sneak off to come see him cheer soon.

Taeyong also suspected that his motivations may have had more to do with another freshman on their campus than caring about Taeyong himself but that was fine, he could understand the pining, though it was painful to watch it for so many years.

The second person who he told was Doyoung over the phone that same evening. He wasn't as loud or eager as Donghyuck but Taeyong could tell that he was just as happy for him nevertheless. And the third person that he _(very indirectly)_ told was Johnny, his roommate, because he had heard Taeyong talking to both of them over the phone because apparently 'the walls were thin' — they weren't, he was just awfully nosy. 

Johnny proceeded to give him a big bear hug and ruffle his hair, releasing pheromones that made Taeyong relax and nuzzle into him for a few minutes. It wasn't weird, if anything, with Johnny it was always oddly comfortable. Though he supposed it was because his Omega was a bit _too_ comfortable with him given their history.

Taeyong carried the excitement throughout the rest of the week, waiting for their first practice which was said to finally commence the next week. That was why he wasn't bothered as he could've been when Doyoung didn't show up to class and wasn't _as_ bothered as he normally was when Jaehyun did. Usually Jaehyun sat at a safe enough distance to not put him on edge, but this time, he leisurely took a stroll in and sat himself directly in front of Taeyong. And in any other case it would've made him agitated and fidgety — and he _was_ those things but the pen twirling in his hands took care of that — but he the excitement in him overpowered that.

Taeyong knew Jaehyun well, _too well_ , a lot more than he'd like to, so that meant he was able to tell when Jaehyun was in a bad mood even without the addition of his scent. Jaehyun cricked his neck from side to side with an audible _pop_ and was clenching and unclenching his fingers on the desk. Maybe if he were a better person, he would've asked, and in the past he wouldn't have hesitated to, but he was trying to move on from Jaehyun and that included ignoring him. The Omega in him whined in distress, wanting to lift the mood of an Alpha who was so obviously down and settle its spirits but Taeyong did his best to drown out as much of its whining as he could by focusing on the lecture.

"Right," the old man coughed, "I'm assigning your first project of the year." Taeyong's nose scrunched involuntarily, he didn't like where it was going. "I've decided you shall all work in pairs as I've gotten complaints from large groups in the past for not equally participating. I expect you to work efficiently this way," the professor said, stringent.

Taeyong held his breath. If there was group work that meant there was a chance for him to have been paired with Jaehyun and that'd completely tarnish his plans of avoiding him. He knew Jaehyun, he knew that the Alpha would use it as an excuse to just keep him unnecessarily close, an unsettling eye on him.

"But—" the professor continued, raising a finger sharply, "You can pick your pairs. You're all adults now and I don't want complaints from the board again about partnering."

Taeyong felt a waterfall of a relief flood over him and his shoulders relax. He was in the clear and if Jaehyun asked, he could simply say no. He scolded himself for being so worried in the first place, the chances he would have been paired with the Alpha were slim. Jaehyun didn't have some form of twisted control here over the teachers, so the pairs wouldn't have been predetermined. Taeyong glanced around the packed auditorium as the man went on to explain the details of the project and decided that _yes_ , he had had nothing to worry about in the first place.

The man finished up the class ten minutes early, telling them to go ahead and find their partners. Immediately, Taeyong stood up from his seat deciding he'd leave early and visit Doyoung to ask him about it. He didn't need to stay in that room longer than he needed to and give Jaehyun a chance. Jaehyun, though, had other plans.

As he manoeuvred his way out of his row and took a step down the stairs, a voice caused him to still. Jaehyun, not bothering to look at him with his arms crossed, facing forward and tone lazy asked, "Where do you think you're going?" Taeyong shot him a cold look before moving to take another step. This time it was Jaehyun's Alpha voice that stopped him.

"Taeyong," Jaehyun said warningly, his voice low but the slight Alpha tone was enough for some people to turn their heads and briefly look at their exchange. Taeyong hated it, how Jaehyun could use that voice and his Omega instincts were almost forced to give in — or maybe he wasn't strong enough to resist or maybe the tiny, hopeful part of him didn't want to resist. Whatever. It was unfair in every sense of the word and he found himself hating his stupid biology for just a moment.

"What?" Taeyong answered flatly, rooted in place with his books threatening to spill over in his hands.

He watched with narrowed eyes as Jaehyun pushed himself out from his seat and stretched languidly before picking up what little things he'd brought with him. As Jaehyun approached, Taeyong noticed that his peach scent had calmed a lot from when the class had started. He also noted that his own scent had a soothing touch to it, something he hadn't noticed until Jaehyun made him aware of himself, slightly self conscious like he always did.

"We're working together," Jaehyun said, cricking his neck again just a bit. Taeyong almost found himself worrying that he had hurt himself during football practice. Almost.

"What? _No_." And Jaehyun's words had really held no room for discussion yet Taeyong found himself refuting them anyways because who the hell did he think he was? He couldn't boss Taeyong around like when they were kids, not anymore.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes and Taeyong went on, keeping his voice steady, "I'm not working with you," he began. "I'm pairing up with Doyoung." Taeyong watched as Jaehyun took a slow look around, looking for said invisible Doyoung. "He's not here right now," Taeyong said irritably. It somehow irked him how Jaehyun was looking at him like he was lying.

"Besides," Taeyong continued, feigning carelessness, "I don't want to pair up with some dumb Alpha who'll dump all the work on me. I know what you used to do," He said, readjusting the books in his hands. Jaehyun's nose flared and suddenly, it clicked for him.

"What?" Jaehyun scoffed, "You think I bribed our teachers with my looks back then or something?" Taeyong shut his mouth because that was _exactly_ what he thought — Though not just looks, looks _and_ his parents money like some other students did. "I can't believe you seriously thought I was just some dumb jock. You _know_ me," Jaehyun pointed an accusatory finger at him.

And Taeyong _did_ know him, in the past at least, but how much did he really know of Jaehyun now? Still, even with that thought, he was well aware that he had unfairly been stereotyping. Jaehyun had always gotten good grades when they were in highschool, not even just good, _exceptional_. And he'd always just thought from the rumours... Yeah. Jaehyun was right. It was stupid of him to think that.

Taeyong's face fell, suddenly feeling sorry, and he opened his mouth to apologise but Jaehyun scoffed and put up a hand to stop him. "It's fine. Go work with fucking _Doyoung_."

Jaehyun moved past him without letting Taeyong get a word in. Taeyong chewed on his bottom lip as he watched Jaehyun's broad figure exit the room, and it was as if the crowd knew to part for the angered Alpha even before he got close to them, creating a pathway for him to leave. Taeyong could still feel Jaehyun's bitter, angry scent in his nose long after Jaehyun had left the auditorium.

A person excused themselves past him and that's when he realised he had been staring at the exit door for about two minutes. He blushed and let the person pass before hurrying to leave the practically empty room.

Taeyong frowned, in deep thought, on his way out. That was not how he expected that conversation to go.

Taeyong found himself outside Doyoung's dorm room, hesitating to knock. Was it even the right one? Doyoung had told him room number twenty three if his sometimes iffy memory hadn't completely failed him. Doyoung hadn't shown up in class and really, Taeyong could've just texted him. He and Doyoung were friends but were they really that close? If they weren't close why would Doyoung have told him his room number? Taeyong was embarrassed of himself really, he'd never had enough friends to know the ins and outs of these things.

The door was abruptly pulled open and there stood Doyoung in the flesh, clad in nothing but a dark blue robe with fur on the bottom of the sleeves and around the hem, pooling the floor. Taeyong thought it made him look Princely somehow.

Doyoung looked on, half amused, half unimpressed. "A friend texted me that some Omega was standing outside my door. They thought it was a hookup or something with the way you kept walking back and forth deciding to knock. God, _everyone_ knows I only sleep with Alphas." Doyoung looked him up and down. "No offence."

Taeyong shuddered, _none taken_. The thought had never even crossed his mind. He'd never sleep with Doyoung, he wasn't attracted to him above anything platonic, and if anything, his Omega— Taeyong halted his thoughts with the shake of a head as Doyoung ushered him in. Sometimes his mind wandered into dangerous territories. It was easier to blame it on his Omega... so he did.

Taeyong took note of Doyoung's dorm as he walked in, it was spotless, pristine, smelled a lot like Doyoung himself — that earthy cologne Taeyong could recognise every time he stepped foot in the classroom — and there were elements of his style that gave it that Doyoung touch; An old grandfather clock, a large wooden owl and an array of plain looking candles. Overall, it was very clean but it lacked the home touch of an Omega and it was a bit too filled to be decorated by an unimaginative Alpha. Still, if he was sharing with another Beta, shouldn't there be signs of their presence?

"Wait," Taeyong stopped, puzzled. "Don't you not live with anyone else? I thought these were shared dorms?"

Doyoung was over at the kitchen area, pulling out two cups as Taeyong entered the joint living room. "Yeah, but it's all just formalities. He practically lives in his boyfriend's apartment," Doyoung said as he boiled some water in a kettle. Taeyong opened his mouth to ask but Doyoung seemed to have read his mind. "His parents don't approve so he's forced to rent here... Honestly, I don't approve either. The guy's an asshole."

Taeyong nodded at his unasked and gossipy tangent and stayed silent as he glanced around the room. His and Johnny's apartment was far more decorated — thanks to Taeyong, of course — so it was quite interesting to see just how lacklustre it was compared to theirs. And comparing it to any other Omega's, it wouldn't have been bare per se, but Taeyong always had a flair for home decorations, especially with his paintings. His Pinterest board was full of beautifully decorated mansion-like houses, similar to Jaehyun's if he were to think about it. Taeyong's face fell flat at the thought and he remembered he hadn't been there for awhile.

There was a whistling noise as Taeyong shook his head again to get rid of his diverged thoughts. Doyoung then offered him tea and at first, he declined before going on to ask, "Actually, what type?"

"Earl grey," Doyoung said without looking up, pouring the water into two cups. Taeyong grimaced. Earl grey. _Of course_ Doyoung was the type to drink Earl grey. Taeyong turned him down and didn't bet on him having anything sweeter so he didn't bother asking either.

After picking up with his mug, Doyoung walked over and nodded his head in the direction of a bedroom. Taeyong smiled awkwardly and followed behind him. As Taeyong's eyes scoured the ornamented room, Doyoung sat down on his double bed, taking a few sips of his tea before placing the mug down on his bedside table. He then crossed his legs and patted down on the bed in front of him, urging for Taeyong to take a seat.

"Why are you sitting like this is the beginning of a dick appointment?" Doyoung laughed at how Taeyong had sat on the very edge of the bed with his arms wrapped around his school bag.

"Oh, sorry," Taeyong apologised, feeling his cheeks warming pink. He moved over to the middle of the bed, now sitting in front of the Beta who let out a low, satisfied hum.

"I guess you're here to check up on me? Aren't you so cute?" He leaned forward to pinch Taeyong's cheeks.

"Yeah," Taeyong flushed as he moved away. His cheeks slightly stung from Doyoung's ministrations but he ignored it as he rummaged through his bag and pulled out a couple medicines. "I guessed you were sick, so I brought a few different medicines just in case." Taeyong noticed how Doyoung's eyes softened and he looked away, blushing and clearing his throat. "You weren't in class today."

"Sorry about that, Sicheng and I went on some spontaneous ice skating trip yesterday, so."

Taeyong tilted his head.

"My roommate," Doyoung corrected. "My nose is a little bit stuffy but I'd be lying if I said that was it. Yeah, I'm sick but not _that_ sick. I have a test I didn't get to study for tomorrow and I think I can afford to skip some classes today."

"Ah," Taeyong said, open mouthed. "We got assigned a group project though. I was wondering if you wanted to work with me?" Taeyong scratched his neck sheepishly. It wasn't even awkward but again, he wasn't great at these types of things. Though it felt... _nice_ to have another friend like that.

Doyoung slapped his knee playfully, "Of course. You pretty much don't have to ask. Cutie," Doyoung finished, doting.

Taeyong cleared his throat. He was used to being called _cute_ by his parents and other random adults he'd met in his life, even Jaehyun under his breath a few times when he thought Taeyong wasn't listening (Or maybe he knew Taeyong was listening and did it on purpose. With Jaehyun, he could never be sure), but at a certain point he'd gotten used to the compliments and brushed them off. It was a new feeling to start being called it by other people, Doyoung and Ten included. Johnny even called him a cutie pie offhandedly in their apartment once but that was because he wanted Taeyong to make breakfast. But still.

"I'm not cute," Taeyong grumbled the lie. He could feel Doyoung's eye roll as he brought out some of his books. He proceeded to explain what the Beta had missed, getting to the end of the class when his voice trailed off. He gnawed on his bottom lip, contemplating telling Doyoung about his interaction with Jaehyun.

Doyoung's eyebrows fell downwards and he placed a hand softly on Taeyong's knee, causing him to look up. "What's on your mind?"

Taeyong bit his lip, "Just..."  
Doyoung was looking at him pointedly, not pressuring but not exactly soft either. A tad bit _protective_ and that was what made Taeyong finally open his mouth and tell him.

"Do you know Jaehyun? He was at that party we both went to? Not Johnny, the red haired one that picked me up. Jung Jaehyun, he's a junior on the football team. He shares that class with us, he came late on the first day, remember? And you called him—"

"I know him," Doyoung waved a hand dismissively. "I'm sure the entire campus does." Taeyong's face had morphed into one of quiet concern and intrigue but he didn't want to dive in further, especially if it was something bad, then he'd rather just not _know_. Jaehyun could keep his business to himself, he was tired of worrying about him.

Taeyong twiddled his thumbs, feeling his blush creep back up again, "He asked me to be his partner." He didn't look at Doyoung's reaction. "I told him no because he won't leave me alone and then.."

"Oh my God, what did you do?" Doyoung breathed a laugh, leaning back, his torso shaking with laughter. Taeyong mumbled about how he directly and indirectly called Jaehyun a dumb jock under his breath and Doyoung snorted, "Well, did you lie?"

Taeyong shoved his leg with a frown. Jaehyun wasn't _dumb_ and he didn't like other people calling him that.. except for him. Insulting him about other attributes such as arrogance and hotheadedness he could sing songs in agreement but for things that people didn't even know about him? He didn't like it. Doyoung didn't know him, Taeyong did. Then he realised the offhand comment was affecting him too much and dropped the thought altogether.

"Sorry," Doyoung apologised but it was so half assed that Taeyong honestly couldn't stop himself from laughing. "But.. you said he won't leave you alone? I think I could help with that."

Taeyong quirked a brow in piqued interest as Doyoung leaned in, secretive and mischievous. "Pretend to date me," he said, lips curling into a sly smile. Taeyong burst into half awkward, half bona fide laughter as Doyoung leaned back into his original position.

"I've done it before actually, with a friend back in highschool. It took a big hit to _his_ ego that his Omega had ended up with a _Beta_ ," Doyoung went on bitterly but the look on his face told Taeyong that the memory was more entertaining than truly insulting. "He even wanted to fight me," Doyoung finished off with a laugh as if the thought itself was ridiculous. Which it _was_ , Taeyong could never envision _Doyoung_ of all people in a fight.

Doyoung picked up his lukewarm tea, placing it precariously to his lips before grinning lazily. "I set my Alpha older brother after him."

Taeyong had to muffle a laugh just imagining it. Alphas liked to act all macho until there came a _bigger_ Alpha. He could only imagine how the kid was scared shitless. He'd seen it many times too because back in highschool, Jaehyun had been that bigger Alpha. Taeyong suddenly plummeted his head into the bed. He was thinking about him _again_.

Doyoung reached out a hand to give his a squeeze, "I can help you with it. Seriously."

Taeyong looked up and saw how soft his eyes were, like Doyoung really understood him, like Doyoung really _cared_. And it unsettled him in a way because he'd never had friends like Doyoung before, he'd never had friends _at all_ really. Jaehyun and Donghyuck were his main friends as a kid and in middle school, and in high school the few people that approached him always had an obvious ulterior motive, so to see Doyoung care so much like that for _him_ whilst expecting nothing in return honestly made him tear up a little.

"Oh, baby," Doyoung cooed and moved over the scattered pile of books and snacks to pull Taeyong closer in his arms. He carded his fingers through Taeyong's hair soothingly, slightly rocking the Omega in his arms. Taeyong sniffled, side pressed against the Beta's broad chest, inhaling his earthy cologne.

They were like that for awhile, Taeyong finding comfort in newfound friendship. He knew he was being a tad bit (okay, a _lot_ ) overdramatic but going from having practically no friends, directly and indirectly from the involvement of a certain Jung, to one (nearly two or three) who cared from him so genuinely made him emotional. Plus, he was feeling a bit hormonal. Maybe his heat was coming on soon.

The buzz of a phone burst their imaginary bubble and Taeyong pulled away, albeit reluctantly, as Doyoung reached for his phone. It was a text and Taeyong couldn't make out the name on the screen from his angle. Besides, he wasn't trying to be nosy anyways. Well, in the end, he couldn't really help it.

"Who's that?" Taeyong sniffed, pouting. He rubbed at his cheeks with his sweatshirt as an attempt to regain feeling in the cheek that had been pressed on Doyoung's chest for too long.

"I would tell you but.." Doyoung looked up from the screen with a coy smile. "I don't want to jinx it." Doyoung winked at him.

 _Fair enough,_ Taeyong figured. That meant Doyoung would eventually tell him, plus, he could always try to release some pheromones to coax him if Doyoung was being stubborn. Those always worked on Alphas.

Alphas.

Taeyong flopped back on the bed as Doyoung continued to text, an interaction with a certain Alpha plaguing his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m having wayyy too much fun writing this lols  
> Thank you for reading <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starrhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	3. Spooky Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween. Spooky. Woo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can imagine Taeyong’s outfit in the second half (?) of this chapter like [this](https://iili.io/25xden.jpg) if you want

It was that same week Taeyong had gotten into cheerleading, that same _weekend_ , the Saturday after his visit to Doyoung, that Johnny decided to celebrate by taking him out. It wasn't to another party, _no thank you_ , but shopping like Taeyong had needed to do anyway. Johnny said he'd pay too so there were really no complaints on Taeyong's end. Let the rich serve the poor was his motto.

They had gone to a few clothing stores already, namely high end stores that Taeyong shied away from but Johnny ended up dragging him in to buy a few things (Taeyong shivered at the thought of it being _his_ bank account ) and Taeyong didn't do that thing where he insisted to pay instead either like a gentleman or like it was a date because it wasn't a date and not with those sort of prices. After a loud chorus of whining from Taeyong, Johnny's attention was finally diverted from the high end stores to do what Taeyong called some 'much needed grocery shopping'.

But of course, Johnny could never just be one track minded.

"Look over there," Johnny called out to him, slowing to a stop, and Taeyong looked over at what he was staring at with so much childlike wonder in his eyes. He followed his gaze to a halloween shop covered with tacky cobwebs and miniature ghosts and vampires, accompanied by one very large goblin that was looking at Taeyong so intensely that he was forced to avert his gaze.

"We need to buy halloween costumes," Johnny said with a frown. He was leaning on the metal, wheelie cart that they had taken from the entrance because neither of them were fond of carrying so many bags (which, looking back was a blessing because Johnny had bought way more things than he did — and honestly, who was this shopping trip really _for?_ ).

"Isn't that a bit soon?" Taeyong interrupted Johnny's train of thoughts that was sure to land them in every place other than the grocery store. And well, he didn't know if it was _that_ early, but they were barely into the second week of October. Besides, the goblin statue was still staring at him.

"Never too soon. We have to be prepared for the halloween party, last year Eunwoo one upped my costume," Johnny muttered the last part bitterly. Taeyong stayed silent and Johnny suddenly looked over at him, stopping his own thought process, his bitter look turning into one of surprise. "You haven't been to a halloween party, have you?"

Taeyong blinked at him.

Johnny's eyes turned wide, noting the red that coloured Taeyong's otherwise pale cheeks. "You haven't," He insisted with a disbelieving laugh. Taeyong pursed his lips, he knew it was all lighthearted but he couldn't help feel like Johnny was somehow mocking him. He and his inner Omega felt slightly humiliated at the attention Johnny's boisterous laughter was bringing to them.

"I have!" Taeyong blurted indignantly.

"No you haven't. I was at all the parties before I moved out of that small ass town and I doubt you went to the ones afterwards either," Johnny chortled obnoxiously, waving a hand at the memories. Abruptly, Johnny's laughter came to a halt and instead, a smile grew on his face; broad, cheshire, and mischievous. "I bet you're scared of halloween."

"I am not," Taeyong said quickly, lips pursed, but he must've said it a tad _too_ quickly because Johnny laughed again like he didn't believe him.

And really, Taeyong wouldn't have believed himself either because it was clear to anyone with eyes that he was lying. Every October thirty first, he could be found trembling under his blankets, hearing happy-go-lucky trick or treaters going through his neighbourhood. It was Jaehyun's fault at its core, he'd always tell Taeyong these impossible and incredulous scary halloween stories as kids and no matter how much the logical part of him told him that they were incredibly dumb, stupid, and downright _impossible_ , they'd stuck with him. Plus, Taeyong was a little bit superstitious besides that (thanks mom).

"Boo!" Johnny made grabby hands at him and Taeyong rolled his eyes, hitting his arm. Johnny was laughing so loud that it should've been obnoxious, but honestly, it was kind of endearing in an I'll-hit-you-if-you-don't-stop-laughing-at-me-now way. And really, it was all very couple-y looking Taeyong could admit, he knew that thought must've been the first thing that came to mind when he spotted Jung Jaehyun from across the mall.

There was Jaehyun sporting a black leather jacket along with a matching black shirt with daisies on it — and it might've looked feminine on anyone else, but Jaehyun always had this stupid way of making pretty things look remarkably aggressive. Johnny must've spotted his daisy-shirted best friend too because all of a sudden, his half annoying, half endearing laughter came to a blunt halt.

Jaehyun was with an Omega girl yet had the _audacity_ to look at _Taeyong_ like he was the one who had done something wrong? Like Taeyong was cheating on him or something just as stupid of the sort. And Taeyong felt the urge to spite him for that, so he did, grabbing unto Johnny's arm suddenly, the giant startling before looking down at him, bewildered. And he'd gotten what he wanted, a little piece of him pleased as Jaehyun's cold glare dropped in temperature, the iciness emanating and felt despite how far away he stood.

Taeyong didn't know whether or not he was truly imagining it, but the air of tension between the friends was almost tangible. His eyes travelled between the pair, half expecting Jaehyun to walk over to them and the other half of him puzzled as to why Johnny hadn't called him over himself. They were best friends after all, Taeyong knew that, _everyone_ in their town had known that. It was Jaehyun and Johnny. Johnny and Jaehyun. The pair were joined by the hip so often they appeared to be conjoined twins and you'd have to do a double take to make sure their hair colours hadn't switched again. It was only given that they'd be together forever, and honestly, if Taeyong didn't know any better, he'd think there was some form of romantic tension between the two.

He did know them better though and this type of tension didn't exactly group into romantic. Jaehyun wasn't even staring at him, just at Johnny, and Taeyong observed how his body had become rigid and his expression hard. Johnny, on the other hand, seemed calm, the only thing giving the vibe that something was off was his schooled expression.

Taeyong shot the Omega girl a glance, she was pretty, but she wasn't the one from the party and the thought comforted him somehow that Jaehyun hadn't settled on her long enough. He probably wouldn't settle on this one long enough either. Taeyong was the only one who'd been his object of attention for an innumerable amount of time... and a part of him involuntarily warmed at the thought.

"Johnny?" Taeyong's soft voice cut through the tension, and albeit Jaehyun obviously not being able to have heard him from the distance, Taeyong could feel his gaze shift unto him too.

"Yeah?" Johnny's calm body relaxed more so under the pheromones Taeyong was releasing. He didn't even move away from Taeyong despite Jaehyun's looks and Taeyong was thankful for that, that somebody else could and _would_ silently stand up to Jaehyun with him — though his reasonings must have been different and he probably wasn't afraid of Jaehyun at all. But still.

Taeyong wore a look of contemplation before speaking his next words, "Do you want to go over and say hi?"

"I don't think he'd want me to," Johnny said flatly and there was nothing in his voice that indicated what emotions he was feeling. Taeyong dropped it from there, body shrugging with relief because he'd given the option out of kindness and not because he was particularly in the mood to converse with the other Alpha and his flavour of the week.

"I'll call him later," Johnny continued offhandedly before meandering his arm out of Taeyong's grip and placing his hands back on the cart to wheel them in the direction of the halloween shop.

Taeyong hesitated for the subtlest moment before following beside him as Johnny lazily pushed the cart, eerily calm as if he hadn't had some sort of silent confrontation with his supposed best friend moments prior. Taeyong looked back one more time and unsurprisingly, Jaehyun and the Omega girl were gone.

And Taeyong hoped it hurt seeing him and Johnny together. It was about time Jaehyun was given a taste of his own medicine.

It was Monday, the dreaded day, yet perhaps the most anticipated one to date of his life. He could hear the pulse of his blood flow in a staccato rhythm in his ears and could taste the copper of blood from chewing on his lip on his lip too frequent, too hard. Alongside that, Taeyong also felt an incoming sneeze.

He should've known better than to hang out with a sick Doyoung because now he had a stuffy nose at his very first practice. _Great_. He supposed it wasn't the best start and prayed to whatever deities were listening that he didn't continue the rest of the school year with that same streak of bad luck (which was useless really because the streak had started when he'd seen Jaehyun on his very first day).

"Are you sure you don't want it?" Rose asked, bringing him out of his sniffling reverie.

They were in the locker room and Taeyong had already changed into his uniform, and unlike practically everybody else on the team, he was wearing the uniform pants instead of the pleated red and white skirt Rosé was offering. Ten was wearing pants too, though Taeyong suspected that it was more because it made his butt look good than out of insecurity if the way he admired himself in the mirror was anything to go by. And on second thought, his butt felt a little tight in the pants too so was that option really that much better?

"It's fine," Taeyong said as he closed the door to his locker. He sniffled a bit and watched as Rosé took a step back. _Understandable_ , she was captain after all, she probably couldn't afford to get sick.

"Well, we have spares if you ever need them," Rosé intoned sweetly before walking back outside to meet the rest of the girls.

Taeyong stared at the skirt she had left on the bench, unblinking. He could imagine himself wearing it, but as much as he pretended to be in front of certain people, he really wasn't all that confident. He knew, or guessed, he looked somewhat good, and it was stupid, he knew, allowing the lack of male attention he'd gotten in highschool to get to him. But like any Omega, or any _person_ , it took a hit to his fragile self esteem. He'd come to university wanting to change how he'd seen himself yet the skirt seemed like such a big step he wasn't even able to take. Taeyong was disappointed in himself more than anything.

"Are you coming? Coach is waiting." Ten was the second person to burst his sickly, depressing thought bubbles.

Ten smiled at him, wide and catlike, but so warm and inviting that Taeyong couldn't help but smile back. Taeyong nodded at him before quickly turning the lock on his locker and scurrying off after him. Ten walked with almost swaggered confidence unto the field and Taeyong attempted to follow in his footsteps, albeit a lot more gangly.

The girls were already stretching on the grass when they arrived. There were two fields, Taeyong noted, and they were connected but the other one was currently vacant. He took his position behind one of the girls to stretch immediately, too hesitant to make conversation. He scolded himself internally as he did so because why come this far with the claims of becoming a more outgoing version of himself if he wasn't going to stick to it? The friends he had made so far — Doyoung and Ten, so the plural wasn't very _large_ — had both approached him first.

Taeyong was in semi-deep thought as their coach spoke, a young looking woman who appeared to be no day over thirty five.

"Alright," the woman clapped her hands and they collectively halted their movements. "Welcome back everyone — and newcomer," The woman added on, shooting him a pointed smile. As some heads glanced at him, he could feel a light blush creeping on his cheeks, so he continued to stretch his arms to make himself look busy. "This is the first practice of the year, alright. We're going to be learning a new routine which—"

"Ow!" Taeyong's high pitched shout interrupted her and if a few people were looking at him before, they were all _staring_ at him now, Ten included who seemed to be more amused than anything.

"Is there a problem back there?" the Coach inquired skeptically with the raise of a brow. Taeyong muttered an awfully sewn string of apologies and the woman continued her long winded speech once more.

"Are you okay?" Ten questioned quietly with a worried look and a hand on Taeyong's arm.

Taeyong nodded, "Yeah. Sorry. I just— Sorry." Ten pressed his lips into a thin line at his response but didn't dwell on it further. Instead, he pulled Taeyong into position so they could begin.

The truth was, Taeyong had been distracted by the sudden appearance of the football team on the other field and ended up stretching his arm an inch too far. And _of course_ they had practice at the same time because Taeyong just had that shitty of luck. _Shittier_ luck when he remembered the quarterback on their team. Jaehyun seemed to notice him too and they locked eyes across the field, Taeyong's breath getting caught somewhere in his throat as they met.

He tried to concentrate, he really did, but he made so many missteps he had begun to wonder why he hadn't been kicked off the team, or worse, thrown in the towel _himself_. The members of his team were sweetly supportive and didn't seem to get angry with him, on the outside anyways. And throughout the practice, Taeyong felt a pair of eyes like needles pricking at his skin, gaze sharp enough to sting. And every time he looked over, Jaehyun was there just... just _staring_. He didn't even have the decency to rightfully look away after he'd been caught.

Taeyong was sure his face was beet red by the time they finished, mind racing, heart pumping, and also starkly reminded of their time in highschool. Jaehyun would do the same thing, just stare from wherever he was, making no effort to talk to him. At lunch it'd be worse because everybody else noticed it too. Jaehyun staring at a lonesome Taeyong, Jaehyun staring at his _rumoured_ ex friend. Taeyong couldn't prevent the shiver that ran down his spine at the memories. Jaehyun's gaze was always so _intense_.

Taeyong turned away from him to take the water bottle that had been offered to him by Rosé. He gulped it down like a fish, water spilling over the edges and dribbling embarrassingly down the corners of his mouth. As he wiped, Rosé laughed at him and he felt himself blush under her stare. But she was going to mention how bad he was at practice and he'd be kicked off the team and then—

"You were great," Rose said and her smile grew as she watched Taeyong's expression morph into a mix of confusion and something akin to hopelessness. "I mean it. For your first day especially. Your audition was flawless actually so I expected you'd make some mistakes somewhere down the line, like today—" Taeyong cringed in embarrassment. "But that's expected. Besides, you weren't the only one. Summer break has made a lot of us rusty," she laughed, jiggling his arms and Taeyong smiled at her.

"The gym's always open if you need some extra practice or Ten and I are pretty much always free to help," she said, gesturing to Ten who was talking to some Alpha on the football team from their side view.

Wait.

Rosé continued, paying his freeze up no mind, "I got Ten to give me your number so I'll add you to our cheer team group chat, okay?" Taeyong nodded blankly, still stuck on Ten. They were finished their practice so it made sense that Ten was free but were the football team done with theirs already or—

"Can I steal him from you?" A gruff voice came from behind, causing Taeyong to jump and take a step to the side. Jaehyun was there in all his sweaty glory, a hand running through his dark hair to stop it sticking from his forehead. Taeyong was partly surprised at the fact that he didn't notice him approaching but maybe the smell of sweat had overpowered the scent of peach that Taeyong could usually catch as it approached. Taeyong was also majorly annoyed at himself for finding this new smell attractive somehow.

"Yeah, sure. Of course," Rosé answered.

Taeyong shot his cheer captain an alarmed look at her words and he couldn't tell if she simply ignored it _on purpose._ She smiled sweetly at Jaehyun, borderline flirty even if he thought too much about it, but Jaehyun's eyes were as focused on him as they always were. Taeyong looked away from him, a shiver travelling from his head to his toes once again at the intensity. Rosé excused herself politely and he was left with Jaehyun. Again.

Did the universe like him at all?

"Well," Taeyong said with a cough as he turned back to Jaehyun, "Is there anything you want?" He hated how high pitched his voice came out and he furrowed his brows as he cleared his throat once again.

The corners of Jaehyun's lips tugged upwards, "So you actually went through with it?" Taeyong's frown deepened and he made to say something but wasn't given an inch of the time. "Well done. I didn't think you had it in you.. I have to say, you've changed."

And Taeyong felt somewhat angered at that. "Of course I've changed. The last time you bothered properly speaking to me was when I was eighteen. Two years ago if you couldn't do the math." Though it was stupid, a silent part of him hoped that Jaehyun didn't take that as a hit to his intelligence like he did before because that wasn't what he had meant. Jaehyun didn't seem to take it that way though. He didn't seem to take it any way. His expression was blank.

"This is the beginning you've seen. I'm just..." Taeyong trailed off, not knowing where to continue off to next. Jaehyun's stare had caused his words to scramble and his heart to beat abnormally, and now he was all too aware of himself. Taeyong took a deep breath, "Thank you," he said slowly and decidedly, "Thank you for the congratulation."

Jaehyun took a step forward, blinking, and Taeyong was rooted into place with clammy hands. "I understand even if you think I don't, Tae. I meant it when I said well done." Taeyong wore a puzzled expression because Jaehyun was beginning to confuse him again.

"But back to the question I had asked you before," Jaehyun’s voice was cold as he tilted his head. "Why the fuck do you smell like Johnny?"

Taeyong took a step back, overwhelmed by the more of a demand than question and by Jaehyun's stance, aided by the fact that he was just so close. His eyes darted from Jaehyun's face to the other people few dispersed around the field, heart rabbiting in his chest. There was nobody around to get him out of it — _No_. He needed to get _himself_ out of it.

Though shaky, Taeyong answered, "Why do you care so much?"

Jaehyun disregarded his question, eyes narrowing as they raked over the Omega's body, taking in every inch. Taeyong somehow felt small. "Is he bothering you, Tae, is that it?" And despite the anxiety, Taeyong honestly felt overwhelmed by the intense urge to laugh in his face because if _anyone_ had been doing the bothering between them, it was Taeyong really. He could only be thankful for Johnny giving him a place in his home.

Taeyong shrugged with faux coolness. "Not at all."

Jaehyun said nothing, only continuing to stare and Taeyong hated how tiny he'd felt again, hated how he couldn't bring himself to even find it unpleasant. He used that hate to shift the narrative.

"What the hell is your problem anyways?" Jaehyun's eyes shot back to his face then. "Fine. Don't trust me, but don't you trust your best friend?"

And for once, Jaehyun looked taken aback, stunned at Taeyong's words. Taeyong felt something similar but more powerful than satisfaction settle heavily on his chest and he revelled in it, hands falling over his hips. "I've got to go now. Study and stuff," he breathed out, voice falling from his high. Stuff entailed calling Donghyuck for some much needed emotional support.

Taeyong took a step back and surprisingly, Jaehyun reached out a hand to capture his. His touch was all too familiar, hard and calloused from his palm to his fingertips but to Taeyong felt so soft and so warm. _So, so warm._

He had to pull away.

He could feel Jaehyun on him even then as he walked away, back turned to the Alpha. He could feel him under his skin and in his nose. He could feel him inside his chest and on his clothes. He could feel him _everywhere_. He could even feel him when he placed a hand to his chest, finally breathing out as he walked away, his heart beating and thundering in his chest as if it was a reminder as to where Jaehyun had always been.

Taeyong couldn't tell whether he was avoiding Jaehyun or Jaehyun was avoiding him anymore because he'd barely seen the Alpha around. Even in class, he chose to sit away from Taeyong as if even being near him would cause him to catch some sort of contagious disease. On the field, he did stare, that was the only place he seemed to allow himself to do so, but even then, it was incredibly toned down. Without Jaehyun's stares, Taeyong found himself improving his cheer routines at an alarming rate.

A part of him, larger than maybe he'd ever admit or want to come to terms with, was worried for Jaehyun again. He couldn't get rid of that feeling, cold turkey, and if he asked himself, did he really want to? Did he really want to stop caring just like that? In the end, it didn't matter because he didn't ask himself those questions so he didn't have to answer them either. If his eyes lingered a beat too long on Jaehyun's passing figure or where he sat too far away to catch a whiff of in lectures then well, that was his Omega's fault. Nothing more to it.

Besides, it was halloween, and there were better things to focus on. Most preferably, not shitting himself the moment he stepped outside.

"Who's that?" Doyoung asked with a low hum as the doorbell in Taeyong and Johnny's apartment rang.

Taeyong had promised himself not to step foot in another party, much less a halloween themed one, but with Doyoung's eerily brilliant persuasive skills combined with Johnny's teasing that he was quote on quote a _'scaredy cat',_ he was forced to relent so as not to seem like a complete wuss. Doyoung had arrived earlier in his vampire costume (which he had actually put a surprising amount of thought into; cape, fangs, fake blood galore) to help Taeyong get ready since it was his first time.

"It's Ten, I think," Taeyong answered nervously but Doyoung didn't seem to take note, continuing the style his hair. Aside from the fear halloween itself brought him, this was technically the first time his friend groups (friends, he corrected himself with embarrassment) would merge. He'd mentioned the both of them to each other before but it made him uneasy to have them finally meet.

As weird as it sounded, he wanted to keep the two entities separate. What if they became best friends instead and left without him? Taeyong frowned at himself in the vanity mirror. It was really just the insecurity talking.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Ten said elatedly as the door to Taeyong's room was pushed open. Taeyong looked away from where he sat in front of the mirror and Doyoung took his hands away from Taeyong's hair, and through his peripheral, Taeyong could see Doyoung sporting that award winning smile. His shoulders slumped in relief, they were most likely going to get off on the right foot. He had been worrying too much.

"Hi, I'm Doyoung," he greeted with the small wave of a hand. Ten grinned, answering with a casual, "I know."

Doyoung glanced at Taeyong through the mirror with a brow raised and the Omega blushed, making himself smaller in his seat. Doyoung turned away from Taeyong once again with an amused expression as Ten strolled through Taeyong's room. His hands stopped on a canvas, his fingers brushing over the textured material lightly. "I didn't know you painted." Ten's voice told him he was genuinely surprised.

"I know right," Doyoung snorted, "How many more secrets is he keeping?"

Ten hummed, continuing to brush his fingers over the painting of a fruit bowl. It was nothing spectacular, in Taeyong's humble opinion at least, just incredibly generic, but Ten was looking at it as if it had been painted by Vincent Van Gogh himself. Maybe he was that good. Or maybe Ten was easily impressed.  
That seemed like the more feasible option.

"It's for stress relief," Taeyong muttered under his breath, turning away from Ten to look back in his mirror. He stared at himself, blinking. Doyoung had done a much better job with his makeup than he could ever do himself. There was gold on his eyelids and on his cheeks, even the button of his nose if just a little. His hair had gold flecks in it too to really complete his black and gold royal look. He didn't just look pretty, he _felt_ pretty.

"I love your outfit by the way? Devil? A classic. Devil in latex?" Doyoung made a whistling noise with his mouth and Ten finally turned away from the painting, giggles spilling from underneath his fingertips. He did a little twirl to show off his bright red outfit, and maybe on anyone else it'd look basic, but Taeyong thought that he looked incredible. Ten had a sort of sexy charm that he could only dream to muster. Taeyong was cute, he didn't mind that, but Ten... Both of his friends actually, they seemed to be in another league. Taeyong was just wholeheartedly happy to have them.

"Thank you!" Ten intoned. "I like yours too. Not everyone can pull off a sexy Count Dracula like you, and the blood? My panties are gushing."

Doyoung barked an unashamed laugh but muttered a cheery thank you in response. The atmosphere was lighthearted as they went on to talk about 'spooky season' and bonded over how much convincing it took to get Taeyong to agree to coming to the halloween party. Taeyong didn't mind being the bridge between them at his expense because now his two singles could combine and they'd become a triple. He hoped. Maybe he was getting too far ahead of himself.

"You're missing a few things in that painting by the way," Ten added as he waltzed over to Taeyong's bed with a lazy grin. He plopped himself down, looking around the walls slowly before stopping and focusing in on Taeyong's confused expression. "Apples, pears, oranges, bananas. Nearly everything, what about strawberries, huh? What about _peach?_ "

"Oh shut up," Taeyong grumbled, turning away from him to huff in his seat. Doyoung and Ten shared a laugh. He wondered what would happen if he told them how his Omega had whined then at the mention of the smell, or how his heart had jumped and began beating just that little bit faster at the mention. He didn't though, he could be embarrassed and laugh at himself for that on his own.

When their laughter had died down again, Ten's voice was the first to speak. "Where'd you buy that shirt by the way?... Looks expensive." Looks like something a broke college student couldn't afford was implied, though harmlessly enough.

A warm blush crept its way from under his shirt and unto his cheeks. "Johnny bought it," Taeyong answered shyly.

"What? Is he your sugar daddy or something?" Ten giggled and suddenly, Doyoung stopped fixing his hair to look at Taeyong through the mirror blankly. Taeyong shot his eyes downwards, ears turning red. He felt a little affronted and put on the spot by the question, though at its core, he was sure it was innocuous.

"Of course not," Taeyong replied after gathering the courage to lift up his head to look at himself in the mirror. He grimaced at the way his cheeks were blazing red.

Ten laughed like he didn't believe him and Doyoung slowly started styling his hair again. And Taeyong could understand it, the shirt was expensive, so were the other things Johnny had bought him when they went shopping that weekend. In fact, the entire apartment was pretty expensive and he was sure Johnny was doing him a favour with the rent price because he was almost _certain_ it should've cost him a lot more than Johnny had told him to pay. Also, his own home decorations he'd painted did look a bit weird in comparison to the other pricey appearing ones.

But no. Johnny wasn't his sugar daddy. That would be... weird.

But was that how everybody saw them? Like they were something more? An Alpha and an Omega living together couldn't be _that_ uncommon, and he made sure to take his heat suppressants when he remembered. He didn't think they had any _real_ chemistry so why did people see it like that? Most importantly, was that how Jaehyun saw them?

Taeyong suddenly felt something akin to anxiousness tug at his gut. What would be the problem with that anyways? He _had_ wanted Jaehyun off his back.

He gnawed on his bottom lip in contemplation as Doyoung slowly continued to style his hair, finishing up the front pieces, before turning to him suddenly, "Date me."

The pause that grew in the room was so large and dense that it was palpable. Doyoung had stopped his ministrations on Taeyong's hair completely and even Ten stopped jumping up and down where he sat on the bed, instead slowing down to one last audible creak. Taeyong cleared his throat, locking eyes with Doyoung through the mirror with as much confidence as he could garner, "You suggested it before. Date me. Just for today.. Just until—"

"I understand," Doyoung interrupted, putting up a hand. He then placed it down to brush Taeyong's blonde locs lightly between his fingers. "I don't mind either. We can do it for however long you'd like." Doyoung tilted his head to look at him sincerely through the mirror.

"Wait!" Ten said, waving both his hands in the air. "Wait, wait, _wait_. Am I missing something here? Do you two like each other?"

"No," the pair said in unison, though Doyoung more flat than embarrassed and shy like Taeyong was. Doyoung continued on instead. "It's to get an Alpha to leave him alone," he explained.

"Jung Jaehyun?" Ten said incredulously and slightly wide eyed. His attention had shifted from Doyoung to Taeyong who was seated and quiet in front of him. "I thought you liked the attention."

Doyoung raised a brow at him. "No, he doesn't like the attention," he scolded, obviously a bit irritated by Ten's response. Taeyong wanted to intervene before the conversation got tense and took a completely different direction. He didn't have to though because Ten must've sensed it himself.

Ten raised his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, I guess I've been reading your interactions wrong. I just thought the tension— Nevermind. Sorry about that, Yongs," Ten said apologetically.

Taeyong just shook his head and smiled at him. It was fine. He wasn't angry at Ten because in all honesty, he could see why he viewed it that way. The cat and mouse game was popular these days and Taeyong honestly wasn't doing too much to make it seem like he was truly resisting. A part of him liked it. That was the part he wanted to get rid of.

Though, he could still understand Doyoung and his mama bear reaction. He felt sort of disappointed in himself at Doyoung's words too because really, he didn't _hate_ the attention either. His own feelings confused him and the longer he thought about it, the more he'd be forced to come to terms with things he didn't yet want to confront. He just needed Jaehyun away.... but he was enjoying whatever game of push and pull they were playing much more than he should have.

And then Johnny, like the Godsend he was, opened the door and poked his head in with a wide grin.

"My three favourite girls. Hate to interrupt but we're going to be late." At their silence, Johnny stepped into the room fully and opened his mouth to smile, his fangs elongating to his bottom lip. Taeyong could it admit that it was kind of impressive, not many people could just do that on command. "Decided to do a little introspection and dress up as a werewolf.

The silence continued. Doyoung was the first to speak, unimpressed, "That makes no sense."

"Yeah, but nobody else will be wearing it," Johnny rebutted with a frown. He seemed adamant on the fact that dressing up as a caricature of what they actually were was a good idea and Taeyong didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise.

"Alrighty, that's cute but let's get going. A rum and coke is calling my name," Ten cut in, standing up from where he sat on Taeyong's bed with a stretch. Doyoung took a step back too and Taeyong stood, taking in his outfit. It definitely gave off royalty vibes but the fact that the top was cropped gave it that extra 'oomph' — In Doyoung's words anyways. Though, he felt a bit uncomfortable, not used to dressing that way, but overpowering that, he felt _powerful_. He couldn't remember the last time he wore something like that. If ever.

Taeyong felt like a bad bitch.

Ten bit his lip. "Look at you, handsome devil trying to steal my spot. You sexy bitch."

Taeyong turned around, red faced, to see how his friends were looking at him. Doyoung seemed genuinely impressed — though that may have been from his own brilliant handiwork — and Ten and Johnny were feeding him an excessive amount of compliments. Their praises boosted his confidence and for the first time in the night, Taeyong felt like he could take on another party even if the first one ended shittily. And with the shy wave of a hand, he dismissed them and they soon hurried off to leave.

"Where's Doie?" Johnny asked after all of them had gotten in the car with the exception of Doyoung. Ten was riding shotgun and Taeyong sat in the middle of the backseat, hands tucked in-between his thighs. Johnny had turned to face Taeyong at the back to ask the question, an unrecognisable mixture of emotions clouding his features. Taeyong thought it was odd, Johnny was _usually_ pretty expressive.

"He's coming. He misplaced his phone, I think. Don't worry, I gave him my keys to lock up after," Taeyong answered with a shiver. The car's windows were open and the autumn night was cold. Taeyong also shrugged off the fact that Johnny had called Doyoung so informally because Johnny had an odd habit of giving nicknames to people anyways. Doyoung's was unfairly cute, why did he just get _kiddo?_

And it seemed like Johnny liked to annoy him on purpose. "Alright, thanks kid." Taeyong's face soured as Johnny turned back to face the front of the car with a cheshire grin.

It was only the purr of the engine that could be heard for awhile before the door to his right side was pulled open and in came Doyoung with his gummy, vampire teeth smile. He slid in, waving the phone in his hand at Taeyong before also dropping Taeyong's keys in his lap. As they drove off, vampire Doyoung, devil Ten, and werewolf Johnny began to talk, but Taeyong wasn't in the mood to make conversation, too shaken up the fact that he was going out on halloween night and there _wasn't_ a myriad of green eyed monsters on their way to eat him like Jaehyun had claimed.

And maybe it was an exaggeration to say, but Jung Jaehyun was probably the scariest thing he was going to face that night.

The smell of alcohol was familiar, though last time, it wasn't as strong. Taeyong reeled back the moment he stepped foot in the door. Was the smell always this pungent or had his senses heightened with the fear?

The rest of the scenery stayed the same, though the last party wasn't as large and everyone wasn't dressed up in either lazily put together or over the top outfits, not much middle ground. They four huddled at the entrance first before Ten had said he'd go greet some of the girls from the cheer team and Johnny went to meet his upperclassmen friends (Eunwoo, Johnny muttered bitterly to himself as he went off towards the lizard man's direction).

"There's Sicheng... and his boyfriend," Doyoung scowled at the end of his sentence and Taeyong turned to see what he was referring to. Two men, who seemed like Beta's, were talking closely in a corner.

"You can go over if you'd like," Taeyong suggested, though secretly hoped he wouldn't be left to fend for himself for the second time in a row. He was caught off guard though when Doyoung suddenly pulled him in by the waist and brushed his lips to his ear. Taeyong shivered and was startled but the sudden contact. Doyoung was always pretty doting but not like this. It was as if they were close lovers.

Then it clicked.

"Keep in place," Doyoung said softly and Taeyong nodded slightly with bated breath. It was obvious that Jaehyun had to be around somewhere and Doyoung must've spotted him before Taeyong himself did. "Tell me if you get too uncomfortable, alright?" Doyoung whispered, lips still at his ear. The Beta put his hands on Taeyong's waist, pulling the smaller Omega in up to his chest and made small talk in Taeyong's ear, whispering closely as he did so.

But what Doyoung was doing wasn't _enough_. It couldn't scare off a guy like Jaehyun, it couldn't make a guy like him jealous, not when he knew the two of them were friends at least. Taeyong, decidedly, needed to take matters into his own hands.

It was clear that Doyoung was a little surprised with how Taeyong pushed him back, but that was _nothing_ in comparison to his surprise at how Taeyong cupped his cheeks and leaned up on his tippy toes to kiss one of them. Doyoung quickly relaxed under the feel of Taeyong's lips on his cheeks and placed his hands on the Omega's hips as Taeyong came back down to his feet. Doyoung was looking at him with respect for his bold and out-of-character actions.

"Be careful there, you almost made me blush," he said amusedly and Taeyong was the one to blush in response. Doyoung leaned down again to mutter, "Look."

Taeyong turned to follow his eyes to Jaehyun who was staring at them — who had _been_ staring at them, because as soon as Taeyong looked at him, he looked away. His expression was blank from what Taeyong could see before he turned back to his friend, so he couldn't exactly gauge the Alpha's reaction. But it had to have fazed him _at least_ a little bit, and Taeyong felt triumphant at that thought. Doyoung's hands were still on his hips as a precaution but Taeyong didn't mind it. It didn't feel like anything.

"Sorry for the trouble Doyoung. You can go say hi to your roommate now. I think I've spotted someone I know." Taeyong jerked away slightly.

And it wasn't a lie. Admittedly, he spotted the infamous Mark Lee, Donghyuck's obsessive crush and in the words of the Omega, 'love of his life'. Taeyong didn't doubt it either, he was sure Donghyuck _was_ in love with the Alpha but it was more of a question as to whether his love was reciprocated. Taeyong didn't want his cousin's love to be completely one sided, but that wasn't how the world worked — that wasn't how love worked. Taeyong, more than anyone, knew that.

"Are you sure?" Doyoung inquired, pulling away from him with a frown. He then turned to squint, searching for whoever Taeyong had made up. Taeyong placed a reassuring shoulder on his hand and Doyoung pursed his lips, staring at him for a stretched out minute before agreeing to go over to his roommate instead.

Now completely alone (just his luck. heavy dejavu), Taeyong made his way through the swarm of people to where he had spotted Mark Lee. Mark had turned around then too, red solo cup in hand, and was making his way towards Taeyong. He didn't seem to notice Taeyong though until a meter away, and his eyes lit up in surprise.

"Taeyong?" Mark sounded genuinely surprised as they stopped in front of each other. Taeyong could see that his cup was empty so he was probably on his way to get a drink. "What are you doing here? I mean— You can be here of course. I just didn't think you were one for—"

"Halloween parties?" Taeyong finished off with a laugh. "I didn't think I was either but y'know.. life surprises you."

"Yeah," Mark said lightly, eyes running over the Omega's figure, "Yeah, it does. Still just... surprising to see you here. You look different."

Taeyong couldn't decide whether his last comment was intended to be a compliment or not but he took it as one nevertheless because that was his goal. He didn't just want to look different, he wanted to _be_ different, and it was reassuring to know that he was close to fulfilling his goals.

"I go to school here. SNU," Taeyong said, unsure of how to fill in the silent gap because Mark kept looking like he was on the verge of saying something but was refraining from doing so. It was beginning to border awkward.

Mark made no hesitation in his reply, quick to answer, "I know." Taeyong smiled at him, not knowing how to reply to that. Forget bordering, it was straight up _awkward_. "I've seen you around a lot. I'm on the football team, so."

Taeyong was taken aback, he couldn't recall ever seeing the Alpha on the pitch when he thought back to it. He'd never seen Mark and when he truly thought about it, it was plain _embarrassing_. How was he unable to notice him when he actually _knew_ him? It wasn't like he was some random Alpha on the field, and clearly, according to the Alpha himself, Mark had seen him around. A lot. Had he really been too caught up with Jaehyun to notice?

All he could reply was a measly, little, "Oh."

"Yeah," Mark said, trying his best to smile. The crinkle of his eyes made Taeyong want to reach out and pinch his hollow cheeks. Even if the impulse had come over him, he couldn't have acted on it because Mark's expression then returned to a look of hesitance, a look he'd actually been wearing it throughout their entire conversation, Taeyong noted. Taeyong placed a hand gingerly on his shoulder and gave him a soft smile to coax the Alpha. It sometimes worked back then when he'd tried it on Jaehyun.

Mark's eyes flickered between other areas of the room before landing on Taeyong again. He sighed and opened his mouth, words coming out tentatively, "How's Donghyuck?"

Taeyong wasn't surprised _per se,_ but he did remove his hand from Mark's shoulder to churn over the question. The pair had always had an odd relationship, Donghyuck's hardcore yet somewhat shy pining and Mark's weird reciprocations.

And it wasn't even _fully_ reciprocated, or at least, it seemed that way. Mark would sort of just semi avoid him or go stiff when Donghyuck gave him a valentine’s day present or something of the sort but he'd always be the first to ask Taeyong secretly if Donghyuck hadn't come into school for whatever reason. Taeyong couldn't figure out if he was tsundere and actually felt something for Taeyong's little cousin or if he was just looking to make conversation by asking. Regardless of all that though, his shy expression was endearing.

"He's fine." Taeyong smiled at him with his teeth, just enough to visibly settle the Alpha. "He's studying hard to come to our school, you know. He asked about you too, I think." Well, that part was more of a lie because Donghyuck's inquisitiveness was indirect but it was clear who he meant most of the time. Plus, it was always funny to see Mark stiffen up again.

Mark scratched at his nape, "Oh." His eyes then begun flickering again as Taeyong chuckled. "Some of my friends are calling me over there, I told them I was just gone to get a drink but..."

Taeyong nodded. "I understand."

He watched as the flustered Alpha gave him one last smile that didn't quite reach his eyes before side stepping him to go over to a group of people, mixed in nature. That type of friend group suited him, Taeyong thought as he leered with blatant curiosity. Mark was never the type to be prejudiced and keep _only_ Alpha friends. It was stupid thing but it was a stupid thing that still happened.

Now completely and utterly alone, and with only Doyoung in sight (which he was too nervous to approach because the three Beta's seemed too invested in their own conversation and he wasn't willing to throw himself in and make things awkward again), Taeyong began to wander around. He got himself a drink when he found the kitchen and sipped on it as he roamed around, observing everyone's costumes. In all honesty, dressing up as some sort of royal probably wasn't the best choice of costume, but at least it looked good. It could've been worse, there was some guy dressed as Shrek.

Actually, that one looked really good. He'd been out-dressed by Shrek and wasn't even mad at it.

Taeyong found himself going upstairs to get away from the noise and maybe find one of the balconies he had spotted outside. His luck wasn't all that shitty, he supposed, because he found a room with a balcony on his first try. The room was empty too, and he wasn't planning to stay for long. He just wanted some fresh air without actually going outside. He couldn't stay alone in the room by himself for long, he knew that much. He was a lot of things but he wasn't _stupid_.

Looking down at the few people outside, below him, he took in a few deep breaths and stopped at the third. He could smell him before he even opened the door.

Taeyong's breath hitched as the door to the room opened with a small and slow creak. He turned his body to come face to face with the peach scented Alpha himself. Jaehyun was dressed — complete pun intended — devilishly handsome. Not a lot of effort had gone into the costume, black, fitted slacks, a red dress shirt with a few buttons opened and the sleeves cuffed up to his elbow, not to forget the pair of bright red devil's horns on his head. He also sported a small glass with some brown drink and ice, and he too, like Johnny, could produce fangs on command when he smiled.

Jaehyun had dressed up as his true self, and despite the somewhat tense atmosphere, Taeyong almost wanted to laugh at the dumb thought.

"So, Doyoung, huh?" Jaehyun said, swirling his drink in his hand. It was full so he clearly hadn't even taken a sip. There was also a lilt to his voice, a certain edge that seemed to be making fun of him almost. Taeyong didn't like it. And of course he'd open up with that. No hi. No hello. He never greeted him and Taeyong supposed he wasn't about to start now either. Maybe Jaehyun felt like greetings were unnecessary between them or maybe he was just being rude. Taeyong was too distracted to think about it further.

"Yes," Taeyong answered firmly as he watched Jaehyun's figure approach. He could feel the physical clench of his throat as the Alpha came closer, dark eyes drinking Taeyong in. It was hard, but somehow, he still managed to find his next words. Slow, sure, steady. "I'm with him now."

Taeyong watched, biting his lip as Jaehyun took place beside him on the balcony, leaning his body over the rail to look down at the darkness below. It was quiet then, the only sound passing between them was that of the ice clinking in Jaehyun's glass as he swirled it before he placed it to his lips to take a sip. If it was anyhow bitter, he didn't show it. Jaehyun's expression showed that his drink must have been as insipid as water.

Unsure of what to say, and becoming increasingly aware of the sound of his heart pumping in his ears, Taeyong asked the question he'd been wondering to himself for awhile. It'd been on his mind since they'd run into each other on his first day at SNU... though he doubted that it was much of a chance encounter.

"What is it that you're here for, Jaehyun?" he finally voiced, turning to the devil-dressed Alpha suddenly. He was also vaguely reminded of Ten and his devil costume. The two were matching and he didn't know how to feel about that. "You couldn't possibly, _actually_ , be here for me," Taeyong said, shifting forward slightly and tilting his head with intrigue.

Jaehyun smiled to himself, briefly wondering what it'd be like if he told Taeyong the truth, that he was a damn near ninety percent of the reason. It didn't matter.

"This school has a better football team."  
Jaehyun shrugged. Taeyong made a face and pursed his lips at him. Jaehyun was clearly lying but he knew him enough to know he couldn't just get the truth by asking. He'd done that many times before. Jaehyun only told him things if he wanted to.

They were silent again and Jaehyun's eyes moved from Taeyong's face to the sliver of skin that was his stomach and Taeyong felt his belly blush — Was that a thing? It had _fluttered_.

Jaehyun came closer and Taeyong's breathing stopped. The Alpha licked his lips, "You look good."

"Thank you," Taeyong had managed to say without copying the stutter of his heart. "You too. It's very... original."

And Jaehyun laughed then because it was as original as a cardboard box. Taeyong shook at the deepness of his laugh and turned away from him with a blush, determined to keep his eyes on the darkness below. There wasn't much to look at but anything beat having to look Jaehyun in the eye when they were so close. Though Jaehyun had somehow managed to come _closer_.

"This view is so pretty," Taeyong awed at the sight, choosing to focus on the gardens instead of his irregular heart palpitations caused by the way he could feel Jaehyun still staring at him. "And don't you _dare_ say I do, we're not in a romcom, Jae."

Jaehyun raised a brow, grinning amusedly. "I wasn't going to."

 _Oh_. That was sort of embarrassing.

Taeyong didn't turn back to Jaehyun in efforts to hide his embarrassed blush by the dark but Jaehyun himself wasn't exactly helping get rid of it either. "Stop it," Taeyong breathed out, rattled. "Stop staring at me like that. I can... I can _feel_ it."

Upon his request, the feel on Jaehyun's eyes had only intensified, managing to shake his bones and somehow quicken the pace of his heart. When Jaehyun spoke next, it was slow and deliberate. It was as if he was testing the waters.

"Look at me." It wasn't a command that he could blame his Omega for obeying because Jaehyun's voice wasn't commanding and it was really barely above a whisper, so really, Taeyong had turned to him on his own will. Jaehyun tilted his head, facial features schooled into a stony expression and his eyes dark. "Like this?"

Taeyong's body felt electric as Jaehyun leaned in, or maybe he was the one leaning in, his mind was too clouded to focus on who was doing what. His eyes had narrowed in on Jaehyun lips which were speaking words he wasn't taking in.

"I thought you had a boyfriend, Bubu?"

Jaehyun's lips curled into a grin before he suddenly pulled away, leaving Taeyong dumbstruck and rooted in place. He could feel the ghost of Jaehyun's lips on his even after he had pulled away and his own fingers found their way to his lips to touch it airily. Jaehyun smirked and Taeyong knew he had done it again, went another round of the sick game he liked of playing with Taeyong's heart. And the thing was, it always _worked_.

"Have fun with Doyoung, though I'm sure he'd be upset to find that his boyfriend is practically a cheater." Jaehyun didn't bother to turn around as he spoke. He stopped at the door and turned, a wisp of dark hair falling over his eyes, "Oh. I'm sorry. We hadn't kissed yet." He smiled at Taeyong with his sharpened teeth.

Jaehyun closed the door but not before popping his head back in to add in another word, "But do tell Doyoung I said hi." There was the ghost of a grin, then the shutting of a door, and he was gone.

Taeyong had one thought accompanied by his stinging eyes and racing heart as he watched Jaehyun leave the room.

_I hate you._

In and of itself, that was a lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Johnny breaking fourth wall by dressing up as a werewolf. No, we will not speak about it.  
> Hope this chapter was okay, it got a bit long! Thank you for reading <3💋  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	4. Football Games And Grave Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are all over the place. Brace yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dubious consent in this chapter depending on your opinion. Mild though.

Taeyong was only half paying attention to Donghyuck on the phone as he rushed around his room, getting ready. It was the evening of the first game of the season and that meant it was also the evening of his first ever cheer performance in front of a crowd, not just him and their squad practicing alone (or semi alone, all things considered) on the fields. He'd _actually_ have to perform for people in their university and the one they rivalled, so Taeyong could only imagine how packed the stadium would be and the thought only fueled his anxiousness. His hands shook as he rummaged through his cupboards, rapidly searching for his grandma’s bracelet.

"You're running late," Donghyuck said irritably through the speaker phone, but the fact was obvious so that Taeyong didn't bother to reply. He didn't know if he could either, he felt a bit jumbled up and that included his words. "Why do you need it anyways? You're going to do good without it."

Taeyong sighed to himself as he bent down to look under his bed. Laying flat on his stomach, he reached out a hand and waved it back and forth under the expanse of his bed. "I just do. You know this already. I can't help it." Donghyuck grunted in response and Taeyong could understand because he was getting fed up with _himself_ for spending so much time looking for his good luck charm. He was much too superstitious for his own good.

He stood with a crack in his back and a frown etched into his features, only to backtrack to his drawers again even though he was sure had checked them an innumerable amount of times already. To his amazement, the bracelet was sitting in the first draw, silver, sparkling, and pretty, just staring back at him, mocking him for wasting so much time when it had been there all along.

"I found it in my drawer but I already checked it?" he told Donghyuck as he put the phone down to instead grab and clip on the bracelet. He admired it on his hand for a moment, his soul partially soothed at the sight of it.

"Maybe there's a ghost in the apartment," Donghyuck snorted. Taeyong pursed his lips with an involuntary shudder but brushed it off because Donghyuck was trying to scare him again. And it was working. _Again_. The noises in the background of wherever Donghyuck was weren't exactly helping either.

"I'm still unsure about my hair though, should I restyle it? Is the colour too much? Should I dye it back before I leave?" Taeyong rambled, twisting at the strands that had fallen over his eyes.

The dyeing of the ends of his blonde hair pink was relatively impulsive, an action done by Ten after he'd come over the day before with a box of hair dye, some gloves, and a mischievous glint in his eyes. And as embarrassing as it was to admit, dyeing his hair was probably the most rebellious thing he had done to date. When he'd graduated highschool two years ago, he'd dyed his hair blonde, expecting his parents to get angry at him because they previously adored his soft brown hair. He did it wanting to experience what his peers did— but like their usual response, they praised his new look, so his act of rebellion had completely failed much to his disappointment.

"Stop worrying so much, and you barely have the time. Turn on your camera so I can see," Donghyuck ordered him and Taeyong did as told, albeit with shaky hands.

Taeyong breathed out, once, twice, thrice, before putting the phone to his face and switching on the camera. He could see Donghyuck's face, his top half still dressed in that familiar, old, _godawful_ school uniform and the noises in the back made sense now, as he saw Donghyuck's little brother, Jeno, run around in the background. Donghyuck narrowed his eyes at him, Taeyong oddly becoming more nervous under his scathing stare and adjusting his hair, before Donghyuck cracked a wide smile.

"You look so fucking good, Bubu."

Feeling a warm heat creeping unto his face, Taeyong cleared his throat before speaking, attempting to sound as stern as possible. "What have I told you about cursing? _And_ using that name? Stop calling me that."

Donghyuck disregarded his first question entirely. "Why can't I? Is it only reserved for _special_ people?" Donghyuck wiggled his brows and Taeyong felt the sudden urge to reach over and strangle him through the screen even if his hands were jittery with nerves and the other Omega could easily overpower him. Perhaps strangulation wasn't the best option then, when he gave it a second thought.

"Shut up," Taeyong barked, unable to form a proper sentence, all sense of literacy gone out the window.

Donghyuck always had that sort of effect on him, he always managed to reduce Taeyong into a fool tripping over his own words when he wanted to, and it was usually because of his blatant teasing. He loved Donghyuck a lot, and he missed him like _hell_ , but he was glad to be away from Donghyuck's hellish behaviour. He was sure if he told him of the encounter he'd had with Jaehyun at that halloween party, he'd probably never hear the end of it until he brought up something equally as embarrassing.

"Stop looking at me angrily, it doesn't work, you get cuter the more you get mad," Donghyuck scolded and Taeyong pulled a face, slightly offended. A moment later, Donghyuck made an expression as if he'd just come to a late realisation, "Huh, I guess that's why Jaehyun does it."

Taeyong was growing exasperated _and_ he was late. "If you have no words of encouragement, I'm cutting the call and leaving you here."

Donghyuck shrugged cooly. "Do it. You're wasting time with me here, I'll call you after to tell me how it went." Oh shit. Donghyuck had a point. Taeyong glanced at the clock, he knew he was a bit late, but this was a lot late now. "Oh, and don't forget to wear the sk—"

Taeyong cut the call before he could finish and pocketed his phone before snatching up his keys and running out of the apartment, locking the door behind him. Johnny was already waiting in the car, gas running as he scrolled through his phone.

"I'm so sorry," Taeyong puffed, slightly out of breath as he buckled himself in. He leaned back in his seat; the heated seats warming him up from the inside out, but somehow making him more aware of the nervousness that was blazing inside him.

"You're paying me gas money," Johnny said semi-seriously, glancing at a juddering Taeyong beside him. Taeyong half smiled back at him, Johnny wasn't serious when it came to Taeyong giving him a dime, and even if he was — the thought couldn’t even expand because it was really just that impossible. And _huh_. Taeyong sort of understood where Ten was coming from when he said Johnny seemed like a sugar daddy. Taeyong turned away from him then as he drove off, insides now feeling a bit squiggly. He grimaced as Johnny went full throttle.

The stadium was full to the brim, swimming with people, just absolutely _packed_. He hadn't expected this when he'd imagined the area earlier, he knew it'd be full, but it was different seeing it all up close. The best and worst way to describe it was like sardines in a tin, but double the size. Every seat genuinely seemed to be taken and he was unsure of how he could make out Doyoung within this crowd, the Beta having said he'd come to support him. He knew SNU was large but this... _this_ was something else. Perhaps it wasn't just their school attending, the one their football team was playing against too. Either way, he felt a bit claustrophobic from just looking at it.

He closed the door from where he was peeking inside the locker room and sighed to himself. He was alone, the rest of his team were already stretching outside and he was yet to have changed. His nerves were prickling on his skin and eating him alive — He'd actually been sick for awhile now, at that Halloween party too to a certain extent, but it just seemed to be getting worse. Taeyong attributed it to anxiety, shaking his hands off as he went over to his own locker to fetch his cheerleading uniform.

He had chosen not to wear a skirt so far because the innocent pleats, and red and white linen-like material were daunting somehow. The skirt was what Ten liked to call _the big guns._ Taeyong wasn't much of a shooter, he hadn't wore something like that in his life no matter how feminine he was at time, and he wasn't all that confident with his legs — too skinny, too thin, he self critiqued — but looking at it, he felt like it was something he needed to do, more for himself than anyone else, as small as it was and as stupid as it sounded.

He chewed the inside of his lips, biting until he was sure the inside turned mildly raw. The noise from the crowd outside was increasing now, their quiet murmurs growing on the verge of yelling, and it reminded him that he was running out of time. He released a breath before shooting out a hand to pick up the uniform, leaving the pants in exchange for something _new_.

His trembling fingertips brushed over the material and deciding he had no more time to waste, not one more second or else he may have lost his nerve, he went into a changing room and put on the outfit. Stepping out, he glanced at his exposed, smooth legs and smiled smally to himself. He didn't think they looked half bad, but he hadn't exactly seen himself objectively yet either, but maybe that was a good thing. From this angle, he liked it, that may not be the same case staring straight ahead at it.

There was a wolf whistle from the door and Taeyong's head zoomed upwards in surprise. There was Ten leaning on the side of the open door with his arms and legs crossed. Taeyong blushed under his gawking. Ten looked to be eating him up, biting his lips as he did so.

"You're going to drive him _wild_ ," Ten said elatedly before his expression changed suddenly to one of remorse. "Oh shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's fine," Taeyong reassured him shyly and Ten looked visibly relieved.

It was obvious as to what Ten was referring to, and unlike Doyoung, Taeyong didn't actually mind too much. In fact, a small part of him actually wanted that, not to be ignored like he was all those years ago at Jaehyun's games. A teeny tiny part of Taeyong could admit that he 'quote on quote' wanted to drive the Alpha _wild_ , but that was just a teeny _tiny_ part. All in all, Ten's comment hadn't bothered him much. It seemed to bother Ten though.

"Are you sure—"

"It's fine," Taeyong assured him more steadily. Ten shuddered out a breath before putting a smile and stepping out of the light provided by the door that had been left ajar. And maybe it was caused by the dimness in the locker room, but Ten's eyes seemed to have darkened as he stepped closer. Taeyong shivered slightly as Ten placed his hands on his waist; they were cold, evidence of having spent time outside in the falling temperatures attributed to the beginnings of the winter weather. Ten bit his lips, pulling a helpless Taeyong closer and tilted his head.

"Would you ever get with an Omega, Yong?"

Taeyong blinked at him, flustered and partially scandalized. Ten smirked at him, cat-like, eyes zeroed in on Taeyong's lips. Taeyong put his hands to his chest and pushed him and was met with no resistance as Ten practically stepped back on his own, shoulders shaking with laughter.

"I was kidding! Oh my God, you should have seen your face." Ten pointed out, still laughing as he watched Taeyong's face grow an abnormal shade of red.

"That— That wasn't funny!" Taeyong fumed, but anyone could tell that his anger had no substance. "I thought you were going to— going to... I don't know!" Taeyong threw his hands up.

"Kiss you?" Ten offered amusedly to which Taeyong nodded furiously, an unwanted blush spreading over his cheeks. Ten laughed, unashamed, and patted Taeyong's head, smiling proudly to himself at the pink ends. "Come on, twin. The game's about to start."

Taeyong didn't have time to reply as Ten linked an arm with his and dragged him out of the locker room. He immediately felt cold — colder than usual thanks to the change in his usual outfit — and shifted in slightly closer to Ten as he was being pulled along, in vain effort to absorb his warmth. Osmosis or something, he vaguely thought. Highschool happened seemed like such a long time ago and he couldn't be bothered to think about it further.

The cheerleaders, like the football players, had their own section for sitting in front of the stands. As he sat down, one of the girls beside him, Wendy, offered him a smile and he smiled back.

"Whose letterman are you wearing? Where is it?" She proceeded to ask as she fished for something in her bag — lipstick. When she got no response, she looked at Taeyong's confused face with her own look of confusion. "Are you not going to wear one? A letterman?" Wendy pointed at the jacket she had on — number twelve.

It made more sense, why nobody else seemed to be shivering like he was, and he hadn't put much thought into it before, but most of his teammates had similar jackets on too. Though he still didn't understand what exactly she meant. Was it a part of their uniform that he hadn't received?

Wendy giggled lightly. "You're new, I get it. Still though, it's a right of passage here, most people know it and they're not cheerleaders _or_ footballers. The letterman's belong to the Alpha's. This one is Rowoon's," she said, trailing off with a blush.

Oh. Taeyong was beginning to get it.

She cleared her throat. "Anyways, it's like a stake of claim, but you don't have to be dating or anything — it's usually like that though. But sometimes an Alpha can offer you theirs even if you barely know each other." Wendy leaned back with her hands on the bench, sighing wistfully as if she had remembered a nice memory. "That usually means they like you though, or are interested in you maybe."

"Oh," Taeyong said simply as his teammate eyed his uncovered shoulders and arms. Taeyong hadn't gotten a jacket from Jaehyun, the first one who had unsurprisingly come to mind, or anyone really for that matter. He didn't know what to think about it either. "I don't need one," he said to her finally.

"I'm sure you don't." He was certain it wasn't meant to sound as sarcastic or mean as it came across, but her words were... off putting. He suddenly wasn't in the mood to talk to her anymore.

He looked around subtly for an escape to the blatant awkwardness that had grown between them but their captain was already engaged in conversation with their coach, so he couldn't busy himself talking to Rosé, and Ten had already been pulled into a conversation as soon as they sat down. He opted to glance around instead; Doyoung wasn't at the stands opposite him and when he peered behind him, he wasn't sitting at that section either. Taeyong frowned, sinking down on the bench and choosing to focus on the field now instead.

The two teams were already on it, SNU, and some school out of the city, BCU, if he remembered correctly. There was a lot more 'Alpha-Energy' in the air, if he could call it that, a sort of dense cloud of pheromones trying to dominate each other, as if one could come out smelling the strongest out of such a mix. It was ridiculous, and oddly felt aggressive, but he supposed that made sense. He blamed it on his trained nose when his eyes followed the direction of the smell that was so poignant to his nose. Jaehyun was further across the field, wrapping bandages around his hands.

The Alpha was surrounded by a bunch of teammates, but as usual, he was the only one Taeyong could focus on. It felt like Spring had come early and was blooming right there in the confines of his very own chest. His throat tightened and he couldn't help himself from silently praying — _hoping_ — that Jaehyun would look over. He wanted to see his reaction, the shock on his face... maybe even desire. Taeyong didn't know anymore, he didn't want Jaehyun per se, but he definitely wanted some sort of reaction from him. He was fighting with himself on it.

A blow of the whistle made him blink for what felt like the first time in ten years, and he reeled back. The crowd had begun to make noise, hyping up the quarterbacks, linebacks, receivers, and whoever else was on the team as they got into position after putting on their helmets. The game kicked off a few minutes later and Taeyong watched, intrigued and nostalgic, something heavy settling on his chest. The entire scene was awfully familiar.

He hadn't seen Jaehyun play a game since two years ago, at their last highschool match. He'd come to nearly all of his games just to watch in the background, Jaehyun never coming over to say hi at the game, and him not having enough courage to pick through the crowd of cheerleaders and jocks to get to Jaehyun at the centre. He'd always have to wait to see Jaehyun later, but at the beginning of senior year, he promised he'd never ever step foot again on the field to watch him again. The reason behind it was because he wanted Jaehyun to notice that he had stopped coming, to ask him when they met alone together why Taeyong no longer came to cheer him on but...

But he just never did.

Though, Taeyong had ended up relenting at the very last game of the season and went to Jaehyun's game, Donghyuck accompanying him just to see Mark play. He'd sat closer to the front with Donghyuck's persuasion (even though the other Omega had specifically wanted front row seats) and silently cheered Jaehyun on with his eyes, leaning forward with excitement every time he was close or did make a touchdown. They'd met eyes as usual, but it was different this time. He was sure, he was absolutely _sure_ that Jaehyun had been making his way towards him and Donghyuck, but was intercepted by a Beta girl and her friends.

He'd waited a minute or two, looking at Jaehyun across the field with pathetically hopeful eyes, waiting for him to come over. But he just... didn't. Maybe he'd lost his nerve, that post game high that momentarily made him forget that they were in public was gone, so when the girls had gone and he had an open window of a few seconds to come over and didn't... it hurt Taeyong in a way he couldn't put into words. Jaehyun had let himself be taken away by his own friends and their eyes didn't meet again after that. Taeyong went home, quietly heartbroken with an over the moon Donghyuck by his side.

It was a long memory he didn't know how long he spent divulging into until he felt those eyes meet his again for the first time the entire evening. It pulled him out of his mind and into the moment, the scene had slowed down around them as his eyes locked with Jaehyun's through the lines of his helmet. They were the only two in the universe at that moment, that painfully slow, drawn out moment, where there was no game, no screaming crowd, _nobody_ except for them — There was a look of recognition, confusion, and on Taeyong's side, soft yearning.

Then the moment was over and everything happened all too fast for his mind to grasp until it was over. Jaehyun had been rushed to the ground and on instinct, Taeyong shot upwards, legs taking him towards the field before being yanked back by Ten. Ten looked at him incredulously as Taeyong tried to get out his hold, but Ten's grip was too firm.

"Taeyong," Ten said sternly with a hint of surprise at Taeyong's reckless decision. He was still holding unto Taeyong even though Taeyong's movements had begun growing weaker and weaker by the second. "You're not thinking."

Taeyong looked back and forth between Jaehyun and Ten repeatedly. "I need to—" he started helplessly but the look in Ten's eye made him relax. He breathed out. "I can't just sit and watch, Ten. I have to go over there."

"And do what?" Ten asked sharply. Taeyong shrunk into himself, and Ten let go, sighing to himself. "I'm sorry, Yong, but you can't do anything for him. He'll be taken care of," Ten said in a softer tone.

Ten was right, he couldn't do a damn thing about it, and running on the field like that would have made him look like a mad man — it would've been _embarrassing_. He chewed on his bottom lip, looking back at Jaehyun on the grass. The Alpha had taken his helmet off and was on the floor, looking like an absolute wreck. His hair stuck to his forehead, sweat dripping down the sides of his face, and his lip was between his teeth, expression full of harsh lines as he held onto the ankle the paramedics were assessing. The Alpha that had done it had taken off his helmet too and he had the _nerve_ to smirk. Taeyong couldn't stand the sight.

"You're right.. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry. It's not even that big of a deal." His last words left a bitter taste in his mouth and his Omega whined. To him, it was that big of a deal. But he was doing it again, he promised he wouldn't do it again — worry for Jaehyun like this, worry for Jaehyun so much so that it physically hurt his heart, that it _physically_ rattled his bones.

Ten sighed. "I know you said..." he left his sentence incomplete. " _But_ , you have to ask yourself why you care so much? Why do you care so much, Taeyong?"

Taeyong didn't answer that.

Ten sat back down on the bench and Taeyong followed suit silently. Biting his lip and with his fingers gripping the edge of the bench tightly, he leaned forward to get a closer look at what was happening as people were crowding Jaehyun. He was sure his own scent now had a more sour tint to it as a teammate beside him shifted, but he couldn't find it in him to care at the moment. It was getting harder to see Jaehyun with the people surrounding him and it wasn't helping ease his worries at all. Ten side glanced him, looking at Taeyong with undisclosed sympathy.

Suddenly, Jaehyun shot up from the circle, head towering above others like the giant he was, and he roughly pushed through the crowd with apparent anger. There were people calling his name, probably warning him to stop walking on the injured foot, but to nobody's surprise — not Taeyong's at least, he'd seen a scene like this plenty of times — he ignored their callings. What he did do, though, is cast Taeyong himself a glance. It was sharp, so hard, so venom filled that Taeyong honest to God _winced_. Jaehyun had _never_ looked at him like that.

He felt like crying.

Like before, like ten minutes ago when everyone hadn't turned to complete and utter shit, the moment shared between them had only lasted a few seconds before Jaehyun focused back on his own path. He was striding towards the football team's locker rooms and this time, nobody followed him, opting to stay away from an Alpha whose fury was rolling off his back and in unrelenting waves.

Taeyong felt sick, his previous feelings of anxiety clawing clawing back at him, at his throat specifically, and making him want to throw up. Ten must have sensed him getting worked up because he pulled Taeyong into his arms and let out soothing pheromones. There was a gasp and he felt another pair of arms around him — Rosé, he acknowledged by her apple and cranberry scent. The game had to resume, no time to waste, but they continued consoling him — For what exactly? That he didn't know the specifics of.

He'd been worried plenty of times before but never like this. He was getting worked up more than he needed to and his Omega seemed to be in distress too. Something had definitely been wrong with him lately.

"Taeyong," Rosé said softly, letting go of him to crouch down in front of him instead. Someone had made a touchdown based on the eruption of the crowd, yet Rosé didn't falter. "You don't have to perform for half time if you don't want to." She held his hands firmly in his lap.

"What's going on here?" came a stringent voice. The three of them looked up to see the Coach with her hands on her hips, lips pressed into a tight line.

Rosé stood up quickly. "Taeyong here—"

"I'm fine," Taeyong interrupted her.

Taeyong wiped his eyes, he hadn't exactly been crying, but his eyes weren't completely dry either. He knew what Rosé would've done — insisted he didn't participate, and he was annoyed at himself for it. He _wanted_ to perform despite his nerves, despite the heavy feeling settling in his chest, and despite the yearning of his Omega for a certain Alpha. He didn't want to be babied, not right now. He believed crying was healthy, he'd done a bit of it over small and silly things, over major things like heartbreak, but now wasn't the time or the place. His hormones felt all over the place and it was making him feel so many things at once, making him feel things so _intensely_. Normally, he wouldn't be _this_ hurt.

And it was so frustrating because he promised, he _promised_ himself he wouldn't worry about Jaehyun, yet here he was, about to break down because Jaehyun had hurt his ankle. It was so stupid.

Taeyong swallowed it down, his feelings travelling down like a cotton ball in his throat, before he glanced around the three of them with a smile. "I'm fine, really. Just feeling weird. I— I can perform."

The Coach looked at him unbelieving, or maybe unimpressed, maybe both, before she nodded at both him and Rosé. When she had walked off again, Rosé and Ten turned to him with deep frowns. He smiled as genuinely as he could muster, and Rosé said nothing but Ten wasn't having it.

"Yong, there's always more games in the fu—"

He was cut off by a whistle. It was time for the half time performance. They shared a look, Ten looking slightly worried and Taeyong was upset at himself for causing him to feel that way.

Upset. Upset. _Upset_.

He usually didn't feel like this — it had been heightened somehow. Nevertheless, he squeezed Ten's limp hand reassuringly before the Coach called them into position. The eyes of the crowd, while encouraging in their words and whistles, weren't exactly helping him to feel at ease. He pushed it down though and got into position, getting in front of one of the girls, Wendy.

The routine came as second nature, he didn't have to think to do it, and he was glad he'd gotten this far no, but still disappointed because this was his first time performing and he didn't have support in the crowd. Doyoung wasn't anywhere to be found and Donghyuck was obviously still in highschool. Deep down though, he wanted a specific person to have seen it. Taeyong in a skirt for the first time, Taeyong stepping out of his comfort zone and performing in front of a crowd for the first time — he wanted to see his reaction to all these things, that even despite the sickness he was facing earlier on in the day, he was still excited. Somehow, it felt like his efforts had gone to waste.

"You should go," Ten turned to him to say when it was all over, after they had all come down from their adrenaline high and could think clearly. Taeyong didn't know if the smell of honey could ever sour but Ten's scent had most certainly _changed_. Throat tight, Taeyong only nodded. He was free to go now if he wanted to even though it would be custom to stay till the end, but not when he felt this unsettled. He smiled at the rest of his team halfheartedly before making his way towards the football team's changing room.

He looked back once, making sure nobody was paying attention to him (they weren't, the game had started back up again) so he pushed the door open and went in.

It swung open with a creak and he stepped in, surveying the dark room, scattered clothing lining the bench seats in true Alpha fashion. It was funny almost, and maybe if he was feeling more like himself he would've laughed at it. He didn't, eyes switching from the bench area to around the lockers and past the lockers to the showers. He didn't want to go too far in but Jaehyun was in here, he could smell him, he could _feel_ him, but there was no noise. No breathing, no shuffling, no nothing.

Suddenly, a hand grabbed his arm and he was spun around, only to have another large hand being placed over his mouth. Fear enveloped his body for a fleeting moment before it relaxed again at the scent of peach — at the sight of Jaehyun.

"What are you doing here?" Jaehyun demanded coldly, searching Taeyong's eyes. What he was looking for, Taeyong didn't know. Jaehyun was being more defensive than usual, but he supposed they were _all_ acting off tonight. Maybe Jaehyun had been feeling just as unsettled as he was.

Taeyong pried Jaehyun's hands off his mouth since Jaehyun hadn't bothered to take them off himself. It occurred to Taeyong that he could've licked it and laughed, but the tension was too thick, the air was too tight, and he honestly felt a little intimidated.

"Why did you put your hand over my mouth?" That wasn't the first thing he wanted to say when he had decided to come and meet Jaehyun, but he hadn't really been thinking of what to say before either. He had come in with no plan, just to see Jaehyun and make sure he was okay, and now that he had, he couldn't lie that he felt.. _settled_. His Omega had calmed down at least.

"Why are you in here?" Jaehyun asked again, not bothering to answer Taeyong's question. Taeyong had to urge to flinch from the harshness of his words alone, and that _excluded_ his raging scent. And maybe it was stupid, but he'd dealt with Jaehyun like this before, so scared wasn't exactly what he was — though maybe should have been — feeling. Against all rationality, he reached a hand out to touch Jaehyun's face, smooth out the hard lines that were marring his beautiful, soft features, but was stopped by the catching of his wrist to a calloused hand.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes."I said Why. Are. You. Here?" He looked down at Taeyong with such command, such presence, that Taeyong honest to God _whimpered_. He cast his gaze away from the Alpha as Jaehyun's eyes raked the Omega's. If it was possible, his scent had become more pungent — rotten now — an indication of his anger.

Taeyong swallowed down nothing, mouth dry. "I— I was worried."

Jaehyun scanned his timid demeanour for another second, a second too large, before throwing Taeyong's arms down as he released it. He gritted his teeth. "Get out." Taeyong made to talk then, on the verge of crying again, and if Jaehyun saw the tears in his eyes— _No_. Jaehyun _had_ seen the tears in his eyes, he just didn't _care_. "I said," he started again, "Get the fuck out."

Taeyong had to bite down on his lip hard to ensure he didn't break down into full blown sob in front of the Alpha. He could feel Jaehyun's scathing stare as he exited the locker room and it shut behind him. He felt stupid, so so _stupid_ standing in the corner when the game wasn't even over yet and about to fucking _cry_. And for what? Because he'd gone on and worried about Jaehyun again? Because he'd been outrightly rejected by Jaehyun again? It was pathetic. He shouldn't have even gone in there. Where had his resolve gone?

"Taeyong!" It was Doyoung's distinct voice that called him over the crowd. "I'm sorry that I came a bit late. I saw half of your performance though, you did great!" Doyoung pulled him into a hug immediately, but seeing — _feeling_ — Taeyong's lack of response, he pulled away, looking over the Omega properly. He tutted quietly to himself. "Ten told me."

Doyoung then sighed, placing a hand on his arm. "Let's get you home."

  
  


Winter had settled in comfortably now, biting his skin with its prickly feel and enveloping his body in a way that was... _soothing_ almost. He was covered up from head to toe, thick, fluffy winter jacket and a pink turtleneck sweater in true Taeyong-esque fashion. He didn't know how Doyoung did it, maybe it was a Beta thing (he extremely doubted it), but Doyoung didn't seem to be bothered by the cold at all — He embraced it even. Winter was his favourite season apparently, and he had an abnormal resistance to cold, dressing with just a thin jacket over his clothing.

Taeyong watched as Doyoung sighed contentedly, looking away from him and out through the window of the coffee shop. Doyoung had a mug of coffee in his hands as he spoke, "I'm waiting for the snow to start falling to really kick things off. I've been having the itch to build a snowman — I've won a snowman building competition before actually. I even gave him a name and everything — Rest in peace Mr Rudolph — and tried not to let him die for such a long time. I like all things Christmas-y, give me snow angels, give me Santa's elves and I'm in."

Taeyong put his ice tea down, probably a bad choice all things considered (but he'd been feeling sickly and warmer than usual anyways so what was a sore throat to add unto everything?) and smiled to himself as he imagined Doyoung frolicking in the snow, giddily making snow angels. He couldn't help the laugh that rose the more he pictured the scenario, and Doyoung turned to him with a raised brow.

"Sorry," he apologised, waving a hand through the laughter, and Doyoung only smiled amusedly in response.

"But my _favourite_ thing is first snow," Doyoung concluded before placing the mug to his lips and taking a sip.

A look of faint nostalgia and fondness washed over Doyoung, and Taeyong could only peer at him curiously, laughter dying down. He supposed there was a lot of talk about first snow, a lot of memories and traditions that came with it. He knew all about them, he and his mother being unhealthily superstitious, but he guessed Doyoung was probably thinking about the most popular one. Taeyong wondered who he had experienced it with.

"It's supposed to be a couples thing to watch the snow fall together for the first time." Taeyong sighed wistfully and leaned forward, feeling warm from the inside out at the mere thought of such romance. And maybe he was idealistic to a T, a character flaw maybe, but he couldn't help but want a hallmark movie Christmas romance anyways, as unrealistic as it seemed. His eyes flit back towards Doyoung who was peering at him curiously.

"Who was your first snow with?" Taeyong asked before Doyoung could probe into his mind which he was _certain_ he was about to do. It probably would have worked too — Taeyong was a terrible liar.

Doyoung leaned back, running a hand through his dark hair and smiling, his pink gums peeking out the tiniest bit as he spoke: "Nobody important," he answered, "We were sixteen and I thought it was real love."

Taeyong's ears perked up. Doyoung didn't sound bitter or maudlin at all, more so amused than anything. If it was supposed true love, how had Doyoung gotten over them so quickly? Taeyong was still caught up in past memories that were years ago as sad, frustrating, and overall _embarrassing_ as it was.

"It wasn't love. Not at that age. Or just not for us, I don't know." Doyoung picked up his mug again, it was decorated with mini candy canes which didn't help with Taeyong's current cravings. "It was nice while it lasted though. He's gone away now — Canada, I think, living with his uncle. Long distance would have been too much for us, and to be honest, I didn't want to make a commitment like that at that age. Don't think I could do it now either."

Taeyong paused, thinking. If he was dating someone and they had to move apart, he'd choose to stay with them in a heartbeat. Maybe it was a flaw, he concluded. It was a flaw because he didn't know how to just _let go_ — always holding on to the invisible strings of distant memories that were ingrained into his mind. He'd be great at long distance, and back then when Jaehyun had gone to university for those two years, with minimal contact, Taeyong practically imagined that it was that sort of relationship. Not that he'd ever admit it. Not that they were in any sort of relationship in the first place — at least, not to Jaehyun, because Taeyong had put in the effort at first but got nothing in return.

And in hindsight, it didn't, or shouldn't have mattered anymore — but it _did_. And it would continue to matter until he either let go of Jaehyun completely or they'd run back into each other's arms like they always somehow had managed to do. But now that time had passed, he had time to reflect on what had happened the day of the game.

He had gone and chased after Jaehyun like some sort of dog, and it was all his Omega's fault. And his body's in general because he had been feeling sickly and nervous that entire week, but luckily, it had cleared up considerably, giving him a clearer head to look back on what happened, and looking back, he was genuinely _embarrassed_. He had even fucking _cried_.

And for what?

Jaehyun hadn't even bat an eye, he hadn't even cared, and he knew — he _knew_ — Taeyong was crying before and after he'd kicked him out and left him for dust. He thought he knew Jaehyun, but the Jaehyun he knew was never that heartless — in public, sure, maybe, but never when it was just the two of them, and unprovoked for that matter. All because Taeyong had given in and decided to care about him again for once?

Never again.

Taeyong couldn't help but laugh out loud to himself at the sheer ridiculousness of it all because his thoughts always somehow managed to circle back to Jaehyun. He covered his mouth to suppress the loud noise that had escaped and rang through the sparsely populated café. No need to embarrass himself in public, his thoughts were already embarrassing enough.

Doyoung frowned, but decided not to comment on the _look_ on Taeyong's glazed over face. "So, how was your first snow?"

Taeyong snapped out of his trance, shaking his head and clearing his throat. He felt bad for leaving Doyoung hanging for... for however long he was in thought. "Well, I think I was probably five? Maybe six? It came late that year, towards the end of December when I was out Christmas shopping with my mo—" Then Taeyong cut himself off because Doyoung was looking at him, unimpressed.

He knew what Doyoung was really asking for, what he really meant, and honestly, he didn't want to answer, but Doyoung had a way of pulling information out of him with just his eyes, so he sucked it up and got on with it. In a quieter voice, and choosing to look down at what little was left of his ice tea, he answered, "I've never had someone.. like that to spend it with."

There was a pause, not large but bordering on uncomfortable — to Taeyong at least — before Doyoung honest to God _laughed_. He made no attempts to hide it either like Taeyong had done earlier, and Taeyong briefly thought back to Ten because the two of them were sort of similar in that aspect — Authentically and proudly themselves, one hundred percent unashamed.

He also thought about what it'd be like to experience that with someone in a romantic sense — Watching the snow together. He'd been a die hard romantic since birth, and he supposed that was what made him set up all those stupid, unrealistic expectations for him and Jaehyun in the past. Watching the snow fall together, building snowmen together like they did when they were kids, even—

"You were thinking about him again, weren't you?" Doyoung's laughter was cut short, and Taeyong expected him to sound irritated, but he seemed more fed up than anything, with a hint of something else he couldn't place his finger on. As his cheeks coloured an awful shade of crimson, Taeyong nodded with an apologetic smile. It wasn't like he was _trying_ to, he always just somehow _did_ , and it was annoying him more than it was annoying Doyoung even if it didn't seem like it.

"How could you tell?" Taeyong muttered with sigh, looking down at his cup.

Doyoung paused as if to think before looking on amusedly. "You always have this sort of starry _look_ in your eyes," Doyoung said, to which Taeyong looked up with pursed lips and a scrunched nose. "If I didn't know any better—" Doyoung stopped to take a sip and Taeyong's gut feeling told him he definitely wouldn't like whatever would come out of Doyoung's mouth. "I'd think you were in love with him."

Taeyong kicked his foot under the chair.

"Ow!" Doyoung yelled at him, mildly enraged. He rubbed his wounded leg, staring daggers at Taeyong who was offering him a faux apologetic expression.

"Sorry." Taeyong smiled sweetly, titling his head at him.

Doyoung scoffed, "You like to act all innocent, huh? What would happen if everyone knew you were like this? An abusive little Omega." And for a moment, Taeyong genuinely believed Doyoung was mad at him and made to apologise, but then Doyoung cracked a wide grin and leaned over the table to pinch his cheeks. "My little cutie pie. It didn't even hurt."

"If anyone's the abusive one here, it's you," Taeyong grumbled as he rubbed on his sore skin. Doyoung always managed to have an iron grip despite his weirdly soft hands. And just as Taeyong was contemplating the contrast between Doyoung's surprising strength and looks, the door to the coffee shop was pushed open. Taeyong looked over to where the bell had rang and sat up in recognition. He couldn't exactly be sure, but he was sure they were they pair he'd seen before at the Halloween party.

"Isn't that your roommate?" Taeyong turned back to Doyoung to ask inquisitively.

"Sicheng?" Doyoung propped himself up, eyes wide, before looking back at the pair who were choosing their drinks at the register. They were then handed two identical drinks to which Doyoung muttered, "Fucking dumbass. Doesn't even know his favourite drink."

Taeyong felt like it wasn't exactly information for him to hear, a little too telling of their relationship, though he couldn't help but be curious because he was just plain _nosy_. He peered over Doyoung who was blocking his view to see the two Beta's leaving.

"Winnie!" Doyoung called out loudly, not paying any attention to the people who were looking over any mind as Taeyong stared down at the table from second hand embarrassment.

Doyoung's call was effective in drawing their attention though as the couple stopped in their tracks. The taller and slimmer of the two was pulling on the shorter Beta's arm with hushed whispers. His boyfriend's expression was hard and strained, but in the end (and much to his own obvious annoyance), he relented and made their way over to him. The shorter one widened his shoulders and puffed out his chest as he sauntered over, a scowl on his face that suited him so much that Taeyong thought it must have always been permanently ingrained into his features.

Doyoung snorted and turned back into his seat, crossing his arms. "Fucking wannabe Alpha."

Taeyong had to slap a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from spitting out his drink. Doyoung hadn't even bothered to lower his voice when he said it, surely wanting to provoke the Beta on purpose, but luckily — at least, for Taeyong's sake — he must not have heard because he didn't comment on it. In fact, he didn't comment on anything at all, lips pressed into a thin line, louring as he scooted in beside Taeyong. Taeyong smiled awkwardly at him (no response) before moving closer to the edge and focusing on Doyoung and the taller Beta, who was guessing to be Sicheng, sitting across him.

"Winnie," Doyoung cooed before pinching Sicheng's cheeks with unrestrained vigour and Sicheng reciprocated by thumbing his in return. Taeyong smiled at the exchange. "Yuta," Doyoung said flatly after his and Sicheng's introductions. "You've lost the ability to greet it seems."

Taeyong peered at the Beta beside him through the corner of his eye, too intimidated to face him directly. The Beta — _Yuta_ — scoffed, looking out of the window. It was only when Sicheng shot him a begging look from across the table did he acquiesce.

"Nice to see you again," Yuta said unemotionally.

And Doyoung laughed then because it was obvious to everyone at the table that the exchange was far from _nice_. Doyoung cleared his throat, placing a hand on Sicheng's back. "Sicheng, Taeyong. Taeyong, Sicheng. Or Winwin. He likes whichever."

Winwin reached a hand over the table to shake his, and Taeyong could tell he was an easygoing person, unlike his boyfriend whose presence practically made him want to squirm in his seat. For the sake of cordiality, and not making a fool out of himself, Taeyong had to restrain.

"Nice to meet you," Sicheng spoke softly as they shook hands and then Sicheng's hands were carefully placed back on his lap. Taeyong eyed the Beta — Sicheng oddly reminded him of a doll — quiet, cute, shrunken into himself as if trying to make himself smaller. It was odd somehow, and both Taeyong and his Omega felt unsettled at the sight of it.

A hand was placed on his thigh, squeezing it and pulling him out of his trance. He hadn't been aware that he was staring at Sicheng for so long either. "Hey, you're releasing some weird ass pheromones right now and it's making my boyfriend uncomfortable. Stop it," Yuta snapped at him.

Taeyong blinked up at him, distantly reminded of Doyoung's words about Yuta and his supposed wannabe Alpha-posing. It was working because although they were the same height, Yuta had managed to tower over him with his domineering presence. Taeyong opened his mouth like a fish, feeling slightly alarmed at the situation, and Yuta's grip hadn't exactly let up on him either.

"Did you hear me?" Yuta snarled.

"I-I'm sorry," Taeyong spoke, heart thrumming in his chest from momentary panic. Yuta's stare was beginning to make him feel sick again. He genuinely didn't realise he was releasing such pheromones, but he was sure even if he told Yuta that, he wouldn't care enough to believe him.

"Leave him alone, what the fuck?" came Doyoung's temperamental voice. Taeyong wasn't looking at him, but he could imagine it in that split second so vividly — Doyoung's eyes slit like hawks and the rest of his features pinched in unrestrained anger.

"That's your problem," Yuta scoffed, finally turning away from Taeyong who had sunken into the seat beside him, "Always butting into shit that isn't your business."

Yuta's hand was taken off him then and Taeyong whimpered, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Yuta's touch had felt... _sleazy_ on his body, made his skin crawl like there were spiders trapped underneath it. Doyoung spoke up again, evidently annoyed, and throughout their back and forth bickering, Taeyong couldn't help but notice that Sicheng, like he himself currently was, had been quiet the entire time. The two met eyes across the table again, but Sicheng was the first to pull away, eyes settling back upon his erupting boyfriend. Taeyong was unsure of how to feel about him.

But Johnny was like the god that saved him time and time again. It would have been funny if it wasn't always so coincidental and perfectly timed.

Nobody but him had noticed the pinging of his phone from the notification. Doyoung had told him sound notifications were arrogant and obnoxious, a show to front how many friends someone had when they were probably just as lonely — or more — as the rest of them. It wasn't like that for him, and at that moment, Taeyong was glad he hadn't folded under Doyoung's critique.

The text itself was simple, _we need to talk,_ though it was unaccompanied by no emoji, not even that stupid frat bro sign one Taeyong teased him for putting at the end of every sentence: nothing. It was stupid, he knew, that such a thing made a difference, but Johnny's text came across too serious for his liking, and it made something unpleasant tug at his gut.

At the very least, it was an excuse to get out of the godforsaken situation he was currently forced to be in.

"I've got to go," Taeyong cut in, looking over at Doyoung with pleading eyes. Doyoung shut his mouth, though clearly unwilling, and Taeyong knew he'd only done it for Taeyong's sake alone. "Johnny wants to talk. I think it's urgent."

An unrecognisable look passed over Doyoung's features before he offered a strained smile — And Taeyong couldn't tell whether it was restrained anger towards Yuta, or something else entirely that caused him to be so tight lipped.

Nevertheless, Doyoung nodded at him. "Sure, go ahead."

Then there was a pause, something that should have been small and insignificant but felt like anything but. The three of their eyes were on Yuta, patiently waiting. The Beta pursed his lips before grousing and sliding out of the seat, making way for Taeyong to pass through. And his body felt lighter once freed from the suffocating space between Yuta's hard body and the cold window.

Taeyong didn't dare to meet Yuta or Sicheng's eyes on his way out, even Doyoung's, who he was sure would call him later to ask how he was doing regardless. He heard the soft murmur of _fucking Omega's_ as the door to the Café jingled when he opened it. No doubtedly, that was directed towards him from Yuta.

Taeyong did his best to ignore it, and focused on the stinging of the winter air that dried his skin. It was like he could hear Johnny's words in his ears, sounding so unfamiliar, so unlike the Alpha with such a bright smile and personality. The text was ominous, scary even, and Taeyong replayed it in his head as he made his way to their apartment alone.

_We need to talk._

By the time Taeyong had reached home, his fever had begun spiking up again. He thought it was gone completely, or had at least dimmed, but it was starting back up again, maybe somehow fuelled by the stress of the brief incident that had taken place at the café. He was going to tell Johnny to put the talk off, he decided before he even took out the keys to open his apartment door, but he couldn't find the words to do so when he opened it. The atmosphere in the apartment had shifted, crammed and clamped up; something similar to both causing his throat to tighten as he saw Johnny sitting, solitary, at the dining table in waiting.

"You're back."

His schooled yet nonchalant expression was all too familiar, Taeyong knew what it meant now after the time they'd run into Jaehyun at the mall; Johnny was upset. Or angry. Or both. He hadn't called Jaehyun like he promised to that day either. He had lied straight through his teeth with the same neutral expression he was staring at Taeyong with now.

"I was out... with Doyoung," Taeyong started, shifting from foot to foot, unsure of whether to take a seat with Johnny or to remain where he was. Though, in the end, he remained rooted in place because Johnny came to him, pulling out from the table with a creak. And Taeyong thought he looked taller than usual, like Yuta even, shoulder's stretched out, standing taller somehow, towering above him like the daunting skyscraper he was. Everything about him just felt... _bigger_. And for the first time ever, Taeyong felt slightly intimidated by him.

"Did I do something wrong?" Taeyong asked, fidgeting under the weight of his hard eyes. His eyes were similar to someone else's, though he could see that Johnny didn't intend to hurt him. Not like Jaehyun had.

"You have to move out."

It wasn't that his voice held any space for rebuttal, any real room for argument or discussion, and if he were any other normal person, Taeyong would have left it at that, but Taeyong wasn't afraid of him — Not by a mile. Though, he did feel.... unsettled. And sick. And Johnny wasn't making any sense. It was messing with his mind.

"I don't understand?" Taeyong said hesitantly.

Johnny didn't bat an eye as Taeyong cracked under him, seemingly sticking to his resolve with whatever he'd decided. And the threat of Taeyong being kicked out was very real, but it had always been there; an Alpha and Omega living together platonically? Given their history? Maybe it had always been something that was coming for him, sooner now rather than later.

"Did I do something?" he tried to play it down at first, releasing pheromones of slight distress, growing sadness, turned outright begging. Johnny remained unshaken. "Do I take too long in the shower? Do I mess up the positions of your things too much when I clean? Do I not pay enough because I can always pay you more. Johnny, _please_."

But it wasn't the money. Johnny didn't need the money, they both knew that, because in the end, everything seemed to come down to only one person.

For Taeyong, it clicked.

"I can't believe this," Taeyong started slowly, retracting himself with several steps back, his voice laced with disbelief, "I seriously can't believe this."

"Taeyong, you have to move out." Johnny steeled himself, seeing Taeyong come to the slow, but painful realisation by himself.

"Tell me why," Taeyong turned to him pointedly, puffing out his chest in the act of feigning bravery.

And really, truly, he felt like _crying_. He steadied his voice, but his lips quivered as he spoke. The last thing he wanted to do right now was cry in front of Johnny, especially if he knew Johnny wouldn't change his mind about their living arrangements. He'd probably watch him cry, carry him in his arms to soothe him like the fake samaritan he claimed to be, just before he turned to kick Taeyong out of his home with those same kind eyes. Johnny wasn't a Jesus, he was Judas, he was Judas following Jaehyun's orders.

"You can't even answer me," Taeyong said, wiping an angry tear that had threatened to spill from his eyes. His legs moved towards Johnny before he could stop himself, blind with rage from all the pain he'd indirectly and directly been caused by Jung Jaehyun. Whether Johnny admitted it or not, Taeyong knew — he _knew_ with every sure fiber in his being — that that was the reason.

"You're nothing but a coward, you know that, Johnny?" He didn't know where all the bravery was suddenly coming from. Normal Taeyong wouldn't have done this, the Taeyong ten minutes ago wouldn't have dared. "You're a coward following your friends orders. You can't even stand by your own decisions. You're not an Alpha. You're a _dog_."

And that seemed to have ticked the right nerve to set up the chain of reactions for what happened next.

_"Taeyong."_

Taeyong was frozen in place. Johnny's voice was cold, harsh, focused on hurting. He'd never been talked to like that in his life, and now he knew what it felt like when people described it as bone crushing. It was like a hand had wrapped around his throat, his arms, his legs, his _body_ , and _squeezed_ , making it hard to breathe. That voice was off limits, but Johnny had gone on and used it on him without a second thought. Johnny was never any better than Jaehyun, Taeyong had been wrong from the very beginning. The two of them were made for each other — they must have derived some sick, guiltless pleasure from seeing him like this.

"Did you just use your Alpha voice on me?" Taeyong's voice came out as a whisper because that was all he could manage to get out. Johnny's voice had left him paralyzed, and Taeyong took a step back, shaky because there was nothing for him to hold on to, not to the Alpha in front of him that had caused it.

At once, Johnny's determination had unravelled, revealing the man he truly was — smaller in height, softer in tone, kinder in act. "Taeyong, I-I didn't mean—"

"I get it," Taeyong nodded rapidly as his body was practically begging for him to collapse from exhaustion. "I get it, I get it." He made his way around the Alpha with slow, dragged steps, filled with anger he didn't know how to express with anything other than tears, and he had already decided he wouldn't give Johnny the satisfaction of seeing him cry. "I get it," he said shakily, nodding and shut eyes cast to the floor as his weak legs took him to his room.

Johnny looked out, torn as to whether he should go after the Omega. He hadn't wanted to do that, he hadn't intended to even start the conversation like he did, and he regretted it so badly.

But he fucked up.

With the remainder of the energy he had left, Taeyong shut the door behind him, bang too weak to have any real effect, and now his energy was gone. Taeyong collapsed onto the floor with his head in his hands. He had come home sick, just wanting to lay in bed and waste away for the day, but was met with _this_. Of all the people, he couldn't believe it to be _Johnny_. But he always had too much faith in people, saw too much good that he stupidly believed that they could somehow do no wrong, so when they _did_ it was always more shocking than it should have been. His mother had warned him about it before, Donghyuck too even.

And it was that same attitude that didn't even let him stay as mad as he was a minute ago. He knew deep down that that wasn't how the Alpha intended for the conversation to go. But still. He should have seen this coming, Johnny's loyalties lied with Jaehyun, not him.

Suddenly, Taeyong cried out as it hit him. And he should've seen it coming, should have recognised the signs, the unusual temperatures, the feelings of wanting to throw up, explosive reactions to things he'd normally cry himself to sleep about instead. That was the problem with late presenters though; their _heats_. Sporadic, gut wrenching things, never with fixed dates like regular Omegas who presented at the age they were supposed to. How could you differentiate a common cold from something as sudden as this? You couldn't — Not until it was too late.

Taeyong writhed on the floor, body burning up from the inside out like a box of matches had been thrown in and lit on fire in his core. It wasn't a feeling he could put into words as he practically convulsed with pain. This was how it always started; the pain, the sweats, and then sure enough—

"Johnny," Taeyong panted. He needed to take his clothes off, his pants, especially, were sticking to him from the slick gushing out of his hole. "Johnny!" he found the energy to cry out.

The door to his room opened. "Taeyong, I'm sorry that I—" Johnny's remorseful speech was cut off when Taeyong's powerful scent hit him, suffocating him even. The smell of strawberry was strong, overpowering, _enticing_. Johnny looked on in half horror at Taeyong's position, and it was clear to Taeyong what he was thinking because it was what he had been thinking at first too:

_Not again, not again, not again._

"Johnny," Taeyong cried to him, reaching a hand out to stop Johnny from taking another step back and out of the room to no return, something that Taeyong knew he thought would be better for the both of them.

Taeyong intensified his scent as he laid panting on the floor, legs spread wide open as a silent invitation as Johnny debated with himself. Taeyong's scent was affecting him, it had to be, it had worked before. What made now any different? He didn't care for the whines of his Omega this time around as it called for a specific Alpha, what _he_ wanted was Johnny because he deserved to think about himself, not an Alpha he could never have.

"Johnny," Taeyong practically weeped, tears running from the side of his eyes and his inner thighs drenched with slick. Johnny was facing a visceral internal battle, biting his lips so hard that it was a wonder it wasn't dripping with blood.

"I trust you," Taeyong pleaded earnestly. And it was true, Taeyong _did_ trust him. He was the only person Taeyong had ever slept with in the past. Johnny was the one who had taken his virginity. "I trust you," he repeated like a mantra, a broken record stuck on the same song for so long that it was beginning to fall on deaf ears.

Johnny looked up finally, fingers clenched into tight fists from barely contained restraint. "Yong, I don't know if—"

"What?" Taeyong scoffed through gritted teeth, "Are you afraid of Jaehyun?"

And Taeyong knew how to push his buttons, knew that was the right nerve, the right exact thing to tick him off and make his jaw harden. With unclenched hands and no more reservations, Johnny bounded over to him, pulling his shirt over his head, exposing his tanned and toned upper half. He gripped unto Taeyong's waist, fingers digging and digging into the soft flesh.

"Are you sure you want this?" Johnny asked one last time with a heavy breath, eyes clouding over with lust, his inner Alpha awakening at the sight of Taeyong splayed so readily under him.

_"Yes."_

And that was it. There was no going back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT: or relatively important; I’m changing the title and desc of this from Game On to Fated To You. It’s more suitable for the plot. Just a heads up!
> 
> Dubious consent is tagged specifically for this chapter because some people write heats as you can’t give consent? Some people write it as you can. In mine you can anyways, but to each their own!  
> Anyways, thank you for reading <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	5. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the past, a step forward into the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was beta’d by @neomarxist127. Thank you so much!

Taeyong remembered the day clearly, from start to finish, each picturesque piece stamped into his mind with a hot, iron rod. He had just turned eighteen then and had decided after much contemplation, deliberation, and wholehearted support from his parents, that he would take a gap year — or two. Perhaps from school to figure out what he wanted to do next, pursuing a degree in art seemed unsustainable in the long run, and he was barely interested in anything else. He'd be a house husband, maybe, and tend to his children — an idealistic thought of bed, laughter, and roses.

Life never really went the way it was planned.

And in all aspects, it would've started off a normal day; he'd woken up early, eaten breakfast with his parents before they went to work, then lay back down because there was nothing else to do on a Saturday morning but wait to hear back about his job application to the local coffee shop and possibly start a new painting— All normal things in the normal Lee family household. Except that he'd woken up late feeling oddly nauseous, he had eaten breakfast alone, and his parents hadn't gone to work, they'd gone with the movers early in the morning to drop off some boxes without him.

And in all honesty, Taeyong hadn't _wanted_ to move, but their landlord had been hackling his parents about the rent for years, and this time, he had raised it far too much for them to afford it. It wasn't worth it, his father said, and they were really just moving down into a nearby neighbourhood, walking distance because their town was just _that small,_ his mother offered, but still. Taeyong couldn't help the wave of nostalgia that flooded over him as he packed up the remainder of his boxes alone.

It was all the smaller things he was unsure of letting go completely of, a hoarder at heart because each piece held a memory he couldn't physically bear to part with.

The teddy bear in his hand was old, more years on it than he could count on his fingers; a ratty old thing with one of its arms stitched back on after being ripped off by Donghyuck after he'd had a temper tantrum when he was nothing but a kid who adored his older cousin and could only count to seven. It had a green button as an eyeball from... _wow_ , he couldn't even remember.

Objectively, the teddy bear was nothing but an old toy he couldn't find it in him to have thrown out earlier. It was because of the memories that had intensified upon touching its matted, brown fur that made him keep it this long. A montage of scraped knees, messy breakfasts, but most importantly, past encounters came to the forefront of his mind. It was the same teddy he brought with him when his father insisted on bringing him to visit his company when Taeyong was merely five years old. It had all started then.

His father's hand in his had brought him comfort as he made his way through the large, maudlin looking building of high grey and white walls and desks that towered above his head, but the teddy bear clutched to his chest was what truly eased his five year old worries.

It was a blur after that, a greeting of a bunch of adults with blurry faces until he had come across a kid — taller than him, dark haired, and wearing a sour expression on his face like he'd eaten a pack of lemons. Taeyong had cupped his giggles behind his hand then in a weak attempt to hide it, but the boy seemed to notice and pulled a face more tart than previous, which only made Taeyong laugh harder.

_"What are you laughing at?" the boy asked, stepping forward towards him. Taeyong supposed he should have been scared — he was shorter than him, skinnier than him, and an Omega after all, but the boy standing up on his tippy toes and puffing out his chest in a display of Alpha intimidation seemed a bit silly to him._

_"You," Taeyong giggled. The boy pulled another face, enraged. "You look funny."_

_"No I don't. You look funny. You look **stupid**. Who carries a teddy bear around anyways? You're just a baby." Taeyong's laughter was then cut off, only to be replaced with a frown, and the boy's angry expression dissipated, the corners of his lips tugging upwards, satisfied at Taeyong's change in attitude. He bet Taeyong would cry at any moment now because of how his bottom lip was wobbling, a tell tale sign of bursting into tears._

_Taeyong didn't cry though, he only looked down at his teddy bear and rubbed its ears. "You're mean," he mumbled under his breath. He sort of wished he was with his father now. Where had the man gone? He shouldn't have run off._

_"What did you say?" the boy pursed his lips to ask. Taeyong's muttering was too soft for his small ears to catch. He took another step towards the smaller boy, not to scare him but out of genuine and subdued curiosity._

_In all honesty, he was a bit bored. His father had left him under the supervision of his secretary again and he didn't like that woman. She always left kisses on his father's collar even though mommy should have been the only one to give daddy kisses_. _That was how relationships worked, he thought. Mommy and daddy kissed and had babies, no? That's how he was born anyway._

_"I said," Taeyong looked up blankly, "You're a big, fat, ugly meanie!"_

_Taeyong stuck his tongue out then, before running off, giggling to himself. It took the taller, and most likely older boy, a second to recuperate from momentary shock before running off after him, arms shot out to grab him. Nobody had ever talked to him like that before, maybe called him a meanie, sure, but not big and ugly. He was handsom_ e, not ugly, _and the stupid teddy boy was just a liar. What did he know anyways? How could he judge? He wasn't at all handsome. Maybe cute. Maybe. But not handsome like he was!_

_"Get back here!" the boy yelled angrily after Taeyong who was giggling like a mad man as he dashed under and up the tables, making several turns. Nobody stopped the two of them despite the mess they were making. They knew better than to interrupt their boss' son._

_Suddenly, and becaus_ e _he was too busy looking back to see how far the angry boy was behind him, Taeyong slammed into two hard knees and fell down on his bum. He reeled with a wince before his bottom lip then began to quiver. He hadn't felt like crying before, but he sure as heck (bad word, oopsie) wanted to cry now._

_"Yongie!" That was his father's voice, and it had come from beside him. "I've been looking for you everywhere."_

_And without another word, Taeyong's father scooped his son up in his arms and pressed him against his chest. "Don't run off in public places, I told you that."_

_Taeyong wanted to feel bad from the scolding, and he did just a little bit because his father sounded more worried than angry, but he could see the taller, furious boy approaching from behind him. He ducked his head into his father's chest with a suppressed laugh._

_"I'm sorry, Mr Jung. Taeyong has caused a disruption in the office, I know your kindness allowed me to bring him in today because my wife—"_

_"It's fine," the man with the hard knees spoke — Mr Jung, Taeyong remembered what his father said a moment ago as he looked back to see a man in a suit. "I brought mine in today, but he can't seem to behave," Mr Jung said distastefully as he fixed his collar._

_Mr Lee dropped his son down gently before looking up at the man nervously, "I hope this doesn't affect—"_

_Taeyong tuned them out then because the big words sounded like sloppy mush. Instead, he focused his attention on the boy approaching them. He had stopped running now — odd — and his once fuming expression had turned into nothingness, like a blank piece of plain white paper — even odder. Huh. The boy said nothing as he walked straight past Taeyong to stand beside Mr Jung, a head taller than the man's knees, unlike_ _Taeyong. Unfair._

_"Father," the boy said neutrally, clasping his hands together in the front. Taeyong thought he now looked a bit older, all childlike aura now replaced with something that made him a bit uncomfortable to be around. He held unto Mr Teddy tighter as the boy's eyes flickered over to him for a split second. His stomach felt a bit funny._

_"Here is my son, Jaehyun. Greet Mr Lee," he commanded the boy — Jaehyun (nice name, Taeyong thought, blinking up at him sweetly)._

_"Nice to meet you sir." Jaehyun bowed and came back up with a smile too strained to seem normal for a however-year-old. And oooh, he had dimples. Would Jaehyun let him poke them or would he get mad at him again? Taeyong decided it didn't matter and he'd do it anyways because Jaehyun looked hilarious when he was angry. Not now though. When his father looked away so he wouldn't get in bad trouble this time._

_"Nice to meet you too, young man," Mr Lee replied, smiling warmly. "I work for your father."_

_Jaehyun nodded — Of course he did, did the man think he was stupid or what?_

_"Now," Mr Jung started, not sparing his son a glance, "Go show Mr Lee's son_ _around. The grown ups are talking."_

_Jaehyun stopped himself from pulling a face and getting into even more trouble after running around. That was the voice his father used to hint to Jaehyun that he was angry. Jaehyun **hated** when he got angry. So instead, he nodded wordlessly and used his eyes to indicate that the boy should follow him._

_Taeyong grinned at his_ _father and at Mr Lee because the man looked like he needed to smile, before following after Jaehyun. "I'm Taeyong," he said happily as he skipped behind him. He wasn't at all phased when the boy only turned around and answered with a grunt. And oh. His dimples had gone back in again. Taeyong decided for the rest of the day that it'd be his mission to bring them back so he could poke them._

_"Cutie," Taeyong teased under his breath._

_"What did you call me?" Jaehyun whipped back around again to eye Taeyong suspiciously. Was he insulting him again? Because, this time, Jaehyun wouldn't let him run away. He came closer, making sure that Taeyong was within arms reach so that he could grab him if needed, but his expression softened a bit as Taeyong peered up at him with round, doe eyes that looked a bit sparkly. Whose eyes sparkled? Taeyong was so weird._

_"I said," Taeyong started slowly, rocking back and forth on his heel and smiling up at him. "You're cute."_

Taeyong had been pulled back into that memory that day as he stroked his bear, the memory of his and Jaehyun's first meeting. He chuckled softly to himself as he placed the bear in the moving box to bring with him to his new home, he'd never actually gotten to poke Jaehyun's dimples that day, but he made up for it time and time again after that. Jaehyun had acted a bit mean at first, hard exterior that had proved tough to crack, but eventually it led them becoming best friends, so Taeyong wouldn't have traded the journey for the world.

Taeyong could remember moving unto a bigger box then, somewhere to store his paintings, before _it hit._ And unlike his current present heats, this, as with normal presentations, came with no warning. He guessed he'd always been odd in that aspect.

Presenting late had been a major insecurity of his too, the worry that he'd never completely be an Omega unless his heat hit, the worry that he would never be _enough_. He'd passed the age of fifteen, sixteen, seventeen... _eighteen_. He had been waiting three long years for the day to arrive, insecurities plaguing his mind and chipping away at his fragile self esteem. He'd heard stories of people being born as Omegas, but then at presentation, having ruts instead of heats and turning out to be Alphas from some sort of biological mutation.

He'd been worried about that too, the fear of suddenly switching from his Omega traits to Alpha ones, the fear of no longer being able to attract Alphas, no longer being able to attract _Jaehyun_ because he, himself, would be an Alpha. Would he still be desirable then? Would he be just as loved? Would his parents expectations for him change? Would Jaehyun still hold him, touch him, lie with him in the dead of the night when it was nobody but the two of them and the sound of their beating hearts?

And in the end, it came down to nothing but the dust on his fingertips as he grappled unto air and cold floorboards, slick rushing out of him like someone had flicked a switch, turned on a tap, and refused to turn it back off again. The feeling had told him all he needed to know, and dispelled the years of worry that had garnered in his bones.

He was unsure of how long he had laid on the floor writhing, a dull aching throb of pain, and heat encompassing his being, licking at the flames every time he moved. Physically, he could not get up, and he'd tried and tried again, pushing himself up with clammy hands only for his knees to buckle into themselves once again. A glass of water, a pill, anything to douse the flames and throbbing of his cock. And he was ashamed really — _truly_ — because he'd given into the only cure that had come to his lust filled mind.

He was disgusted with himself somewhere deep down for what he was about to do — for what he had _done_ — but it had always been mind over body for him. He'd thought about it a million times, only ever nearly acted on it once before withdrawing in shame, but as his trembling hands pushed down the waistband of his pants and his palms wrapped around the underside of his cock, the pleasure that made his hips jutter overtook every momentary regret he had of pleasuring himself to the thoughts of Jung Jaehyun.

_Like this, Jaehyun. Have you ever thought of me like this too?_

A dirty act, a sin committed in broad daylight for any onlooker to see if they decided to take a glance through the open curtains of his windows, but he was too caught up with himself to care. And after his first release with no relief, he'd done it again, and again, and again, until his body was wracked with sobs and chasing relief he'd never get from an Alpha so far away from him. He could only pathetically call Jaehyun's name under his breath as he pleasured himself, a name that fuelled his needs, desires, _wants_ , only for his ears to hear.

Sound travels with the wind.

"Tae-Taeyong."

And if he'd been playing closer attention, maybe if he wasn't so absorbed in himself, if he wasn't so lost in lust then he would've noticed the twist of a door handle downstairs, the thud of shoes upstairs, and the pushing open of his already ajar room door.

In any other situation he would've felt ashamed, in any other situation the Alpha that had merely come to help out his friend's parents with their boxes would have been disgusted with himself for even letting such a thought cross his mind for his best friend's claim, but it wasn't any other situation. This, he told himself, was an exceptional situation.

This, he whispered to ears that couldn't hear as Taeyong's soft body shook under his hard and calloused palms, was fine because it would never repeat itself again.

And _this_ , he told himself on a broken reel as he left Taeyong there, eyes closing and lips parted underneath him as he zipped up his pants with shaky palms, the guilt eating away at his teeth, piercing into his skin, and settling into his bones, was a secret he'd take to the grave.

Things weren't much different from then, Taeyong surmised. Johnny had left him the way he had before — knocked out after one round to wake up in the lonely, swallowing expanse of a bed, body still racked with needs, toes still curled in want, but low, dull, subdued because he'd had the help of an Alpha. This time, though, there were no parents to come and find him afterwards, to offer the help and love only parents could muster for the children even in such a state, because this time he was _alone_.

And pulling himself out from the past, he recalled that that was the first time they had done it.

The thing was, if there was ever a second time, he had told, scolded, and _promised_ himself that he'd be fine with it being whatever Alpha he decided or would possibly be in a relationship with. The last time he felt so.. so _dirty_ afterwards, so filthy and absolutely disgusted with himself that he hadn't even dared to glance at his own reflection for days — not until Donghyuck had pointed out how much of a mess he looked, his parents too scared, too busy tiptoeing around their son to prod where they should or shouldn't have.

Because in the end, Taeyong had come out of it feeling like a _cheater_.

He was borderline in love with Jaehyun, he and Jaehyun had had something, be it in secret, or in the public lingering stares, but he'd gone and slept with his best friend? It was _sick_. He could never utter a word of it to anyone, Donghyuck was too young to understand and he'd never had any other friends to tell it to, had nobody to comfort him that what he'd done was alright and nothing was his fault, and if Jaehyun slept with other people, why couldn't he?

_Ah, but yes, Jaehyun hadn't slept with someone that close to him before. Jaehyun would never._

It didn't matter.

It had taken him months, a year to get over that one sided traitorous feeling that kept him up at night, and when he'd decided to enter university he told himself he'd get over it completely. He'd find a nice, kind Alpha who wasn't afraid to be with him, who was clear in their feelings and communication, an Alpha whose feelings didn't burden him, an Alpha who took and gave just as much as Taeyong did. That's all he wanted, that's all he ever fantasised about with Jaehyun, and that's the exact thing he'd never gotten. And despite it, he had loved Jaehyun nonetheless.

So with his heat that came a few days ago, he had wanted to prove something to himself in some sick and twisted way, that he could do this again and not feel bad afterwards, that he was now strong enough to spend an entire heat with someone other than Jung—fucking—Jaehyun and be completely fine. And it hadn't even worked, he had fooled himself into thinking it would, but it _hadn't_.

And Taeyong normally didn't hate his biology at all, he was happy enough being an Omega, rejoiced in it even because the burden of being an Alpha he knew too well second-hand, but despite himself, he had wanted to cry with anger at the way his biology was making him _feel._ His inner Omega felt hurt and betrayed, as if he had genuinely done something _wrong_. Like a dirty, filthy cheater even though he knew that he deserved to be with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted, however he wanted and shouldn't have given a damn about it.

Johnny wasn't there when he woke up, and that was fine. He was not in the soft bed that Taeyong had woken up, in — body hot and sweaty, warm and cool all at the same time — not in the kitchen, his bedroom, the bathroom, nowhere that evening, the day after, and the day after that. Johnny wasn't anywhere to be found, causing Taeyong to eat himself away in Johnny's own apartment alone. He felt like a hoarder somehow, a cheap whore that had been abandoned come sunrise — a way he hadn't felt for years.

With or without Johnny's presence, however, Taeyong fended for himself for the remaining days of his heat that came, and the Johnny-less days that had come afterward. Showers worked, so did sleeping, and so did pills. Taeyong was fine. It was fine. It was alright. He didn't have to face reality yet.

**(1) Missed Call from Doyoungie♡**

Reality came in the form of an awakening phone call — both in a literal and metaphorical sense.

Taeyong had been half asleep when Doyoung called, drowsy now that the effects of his heat had practically faded away entirely. He was procrastinating, he knew, because he needed to bring in a doctor's note about his late presentation and how that affected his heats, making them sporadic, no set date, random, yada yada yada. He'd get in trouble otherwise, Omegas and Alphas were meant to at least give in their set month for their heats and ruts, but with no knowledge of when it would come...

 _"Ugh,"_ Taeyong groaned as he rolled over, placing a hand over his head.

He felt like each fiber of muscle in his body was being dragged down by bags of rice. Nevertheless, he scoured the area beside him for his phone and lifted it up to see his reflection through the dark screen. He'd already taken a shower today and even washed his hair, did half of his skincare routine too because he was out of the outer half of his products so that was all he _could_ do. Still. He looked different. Exactly like himself but like somebody else entirely. It was his eyes, he guessed, because they didn't hold the same childlike wonder and sparkle they one had. Those were the effects of growing up.

He squeezed them shut before turning on his phone and checking his missed calls. A few from Ten, three from Donghyuck, two from his mother accompanied by some very worried texts, and then one from Doyoung.

One from Doyoung?

Taeyong lifted himself up with a frown. It was unlike him to only call once in the week that had passed. No, actually, that was a lie, he'd called the day Taeyong had left the Café a couple times, but it had been a week since then. He called again now, but the ring had been for a mere five seconds at best, and if it were anyone else, he would have pegged it as an accident and gone on to continue to wallow in self pity before he finally drifted into sleep. Doyoung was the type to text him multiple times a day, be it to check up on him, to send him pictures of his latté art, or just for general conversation.

Taeyong moved on to check his texts then, frown deepening as his stomach spun with an unplaceable feeling. Doyoung hadn't texted him _at all._ He was fully awake now, alert at the fact that something may have happened to his best friend (could he call him that? He could call him that, right? The thought was the only thing that had nearly made him smile this entire week. _Nearly_ ), and Taeyong sat up straight, crossing his legs over themselves on the bed. He winced slightly at the feeling, the soreness coming with a reminder and flood of thoughts that he was forced to push away.

Doyoung's line rang a couple times, and Taeyong was beginning to believe it was a bona fide freak accident call, before Doyoung picked up at last. Taeyong relaxed, putting the phone to his ear.

Nothing.

"Hello?" Taeyong said first, worry lacing his tone. His throat felt dry and scratchy — he hadn't been drinking enough water. Doyoung would surely scold him if he found out. "Hello, Do? Do, you there?" Taeyong sighed to himself and shut his eyes. "I want to hear your voice..."

There were sounds of movement on the other side, sounds of standing up— No, maybe sitting down? It didn't matter, Doyoung was doing _something_ , and whatever it was, he'd be glad to hear about it. It'd be nice to live vicariously through someone like Doyoung, someone so sure of themselves and so headstrong. Taeyong couldn't ever see him slipping from such heights. Doyoung was like his King, and Taeyong didn't mind being his humble follower. He almost laughed at the thought really, deciding he'd tell Doyoung when he saw him again in person.

"Hi Taeyong."

It was crazy how the voice of a friend could make someone feel that much better.

"Oh yay, you're there. Are you okay? Where are you? I heard some noises, but I couldn't really figure it out," Taeyong laughed softly, albeit strained. It would take him a few days to bring his mood back up maybe, but the familiar sound of Doyoung's voice had made his shoulders untense, relaxing back into his gangly limbs.

"I'm outside," Doyoung started, and Taeyong couldn't exactly pick up the tone of his voice. Tired maybe. They all were. Could Doyoung sense that from him too? "I called you by mistake."

"Oh." Taeyong's face fell flat. It was a mistake. "Y-You're outside our apartment?" He was unsure of why he stuttered, ascribing it to having not talked to anyone in just over a week and not to the feeling gnawing at the bottom of his gut. He chewed on his lip then, waiting for Doyoung's reply. "I could come out to meet you," Taeyong offered first, shutting his eyes and letting out a wound up breath, feeling that things were _off_ someway, somehow.

Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was—

"Yeah," Doyoung said softly, "Yeah, I'd like that."

Maybe this was all he had needed the whole time, Taeyong went on to think, just the cradling cold of the outside air would have been enough for him when he was in heat. He'd understood what Doyoung meant when he said Winter was his favourite season because as he was walking to where Doyoung had asked to meet, the weather was comforting almost, the coldness of December now reduced from biting into gentle tickles. The path was a bit icy as he went on his way, and he'd nearly slipped a few times before catching himself, but overall he was happy. He felt good.

 _Better_.

Doyoung had been waiting in the exact spot he said he would be — by the park bench — and Taeyong couldn't help the small smile that spread over his features, hidden by the fluff of his pink scarf. Unlike Doyoung, unsurprisingly, he was fully dressed in puffy coat, mittens, scarf and all. He breathed a chuckle to himself as he decided to surprise Doyoung who had his back turned to him in waiting. He padded forth behind him silently, letting out a muffled:

"Boo!"

Doyoung turned, not exactly shocked by his antics, and smiled smally. It didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey."

"Hey," Taeyong breathed out in earnest. "I've missed you." And it was the wholehearted truth.

Doyoung's smile faltered at the corners and Taeyong blinked up at him waiting for a response. _I missed you too,_ Doyoung would usually tell him when they'd been apart, and then he'd pinch his cheeks and invite him in for some tea. Earl gray, Taeyong had come to like it, if not only for Doyoung's sake. And so, Taeyong waited patiently for the sting of soft fingers on his cherubic cheeks that never came.

Doyoung looked down at him, smiling sadly. "You smell like him."

Taeyong paused to take in his words. He smelled like himself, more pungent with the passing heat he knew, and like _him?_ But a Beta's nose never lied, it may have been a week, and to him he could smell nothing, but Doyoung must have somehow smelt the cinnamon that was Johnny. Taeyong looked down at his feet, grinding them idly on the pavement. What was he to say to that?

"He scented you, I think." And he could pinpoint it now, why Doyoung's smile hadn't reached his eyes — it was because he was sad. In tone, in expression, even in the way he carried himself, and it took him a moment then for Taeyong to fully understand what Doyoung was trying to get at. He looked up to see Doyoung who was still smiling at him if only for his sake.

"I— I'm sorry," Taeyong began slowly, unsure, apologetic, "I didn't know you— he— I didn't know you liked each other. Or had a thing. I— You never mentioned it, and he didn't either, or else I wouldn't have— Oh my God, you know I would _never_ —" Taeyong went on almost hopelessly.

He was overcome with the urge to reach out a hand to reassure him that he would never have done that if he had known, but something in him told him Doyoung may have stepped away, and the rejection would have been too much to handle. He couldn't lose a friend over something like this, he wouldn't forgive himself if he did.

"It's fine," Doyoung interrupted him quietly. "I told him not to unless he was serious about me. About us. I thought he was. It's not your fault." Doyoung chuckled to himself then, throwing his head back as he ran a hand through his dark hair, blinking upwards as if to stop himself from crying. It wasn't tears though, Taeyong knew that, Doyoung would never let himself cry over an Alpha. They were similar in many ways but different in that regard.

"We had a few run-ins after the first party and he surprisingly asked for my number. We were talking... _a lot_ so I just—" Doyoung paused to think and Taeyong's heart clenched at his words. "I just thought he was serious. About us, that is. But then you went into heat, he told me, and I couldn't fault you. I didn't text you or call, I'm sorry, I know I should have. I just needed..." Doyoung stopped to take in a deep breath, shutting his eyes. "I needed time to think."

Doyoung didn't sound at all spiteful, and he reached out a hand as he saw Taeyong's watery eyes. Doyoung wasn't mad at him, but he was mad at _himself_. He'd gone and hurt a friend all because he had something to prove to himself, and in the end, it all circled back to Jaehyun — No, to himself, in reality, because he only had himself to blame.

"I think I have my own stuff to deal with for now. I thought I was over it but..." Taeyong blinked up through blurry eyes at Doyoung who was speaking. Doyoung's voice was shaking, but he steadied himself. Doyoung was so strong. He was always so, so strong.

"You know, you're everything an Alpha wants in an Omega." Taeyong held his breath, soaking it in. "Shy, sweet, submissive."

There was a pause then, large and weighted, but Taeyong couldn't bring himself to refute. He'd never been the token of independence. He liked being pampered, cared for, held, but somehow now he almost felt... he almost felt _ashamed_. Doyoung wasn't looking to hurt him though, he knew that, he was just speaking the words that came to him no matter how bad they pained him, or how deeply they resonated.

"I can be submissive for them too, in bed at least, but even then..." Doyoung threw his head back in strained, choked laughter. It was shaky at best, melancholic at worst. He looked back down at Taeyong, chuckling to himself wryly. "I mean God, I don't even have a _scent_."

Doyoung paused, biting his lip. "It's not your fault," Doyoung said firmly, wiping the wet skin under Taeyong's eyes. And Taeyong had craved his touch, but not like _this_. Right now, he didn't even know who he was crying _for_. "It's his. And I just need some time..."

"Away from me," Taeyong croaked under his breath. Doyoung looked at him apologetically but didn't deny his words. Taeyong supposed it was pathetic, him crying instead of Doyoung who was the one who had obviously been hurt, yet there was Doyoung offering him a look close to comforting.

Taeyong wiped his tears with his sleeve, the material that gloved his fingers scratching at his eyes and making the sting intensify. It was quiet between them then, only the rustle of dry wind that passed them and made a low whistling noise through the branches of the trees. It was quiet all in all, until Doyoung spoke up again, sudden and hesitant almost.

"Did he knot you?" Doyoung asked tentatively.

And truthfully, Taeyong couldn't remember, too lost in the haze of his heat to fully fathom anything that was happening — _no_. Wait. He frowned, thinking hard. No. He was sure of it. And with that same uncertain level of certainty he answered, "No... he didn't."

Doyoung somehow looked viscerally relieved. It was then that Doyoung pulled him into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back as Taeyong sniffled underneath him. It was unfair, Taeyong knew, and it should have been the other way around, yet all he could manage to do was mutter soft apologies that got lost in translation through Doyoung's thinly veiled shirt.

"I know," Doyoung sighed, pulling away to hold Taeyong's head in his hands, wrapping his bony hands around it and thumbing the blonde strands. He leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on Taeyong's forehead, "I'll call you," he murmured.

It was a day of surprises it seemed, warranted and wanted or not, and the scene before him now was all too familiar. Johnny had come at the perfect time, in between Taeyong leaving and the tiring, thought-filled walk back home. Just like before, he wanted to sleep away his worry and wake up at the break of dawn to yet another day, one he would take charge of because despite everything that had happened, life still went on. Time waited for no one, much less for him, and the longer he spent wasting away in the confines of their apartment, the more time slipped through his fingers like sand in an hourglass.

"We need to talk." This time, Taeyong was the first to say it. He couldn't allow Johnny to make a fool of him for the second time.

Johnny nodded quietly as Taeyong slipped into the seat across him on the kitchen island; sleek, grey marble with flecks of gold, a proof of wealth no ordinary struggling university student could afford. Taeyong could have laughed at it too because Johnny was similar; not a speck of dust on his shirt, not a hair out of place, nothing to tell of the sort of guilt that had eaten away at Taeyong for an entire week _alone_. He was right when he said it before, they both knew that, Johnny was a coward. If not then, _now_.

"I'm sorry," Johnny said, breaking up the suffocating silence that was gathering in the room and beating down on them. "I mean it. I shouldn't have run away then, I know, but I just... I'm sorry."

"I'm not owed that apology, don't you think? Doyoung deserves it more than I do." Taeyong had tried to make himself come off as harsh as possible, but perhaps it didn't come across the way he wanted it to, or at least have nearly the same effect, eyes too red and puffy from crying earlier to elicit anything other than a pitiful look from the Alpha. Taeyong looked away from him, squeezing his fists under the table.

"I know. I've been trying to talk to him, but he won't even pick up my calls anymore after I told him." Johnny's voice sounded tired. The Alpha sighed, "I fucked up."

Taeyong scoffed, _of course you did._ And he'd never felt this way before, a sort of protectiveness or care for a platonic friend other than Donghyuck. He was genuinely mad at Johnny for hurting Doyoung, but in the end, was he that much better? It took two to tango.

There was a bigger elephant in the room, one that he didn't yet have the guts to address. Maybe Johnny had felt it was the responsibility of an Alpha to bring it up first, or maybe he simply brought it up because it was something he had needed to get off his chest for awhile now. Taeyong watched with an aching heart as the Alpha before him deflated, shrunken into himself, a hollow of the Alpha he once was. He couldn't believe he had just noticed it now, how brilliant Johnny had been at masking his emotions. Comparing the Johnny he knew years ago to the Johnny he'd met again mere months ago, there had always been something off about him.

He'd changed. They all had. But maybe in a way that was different from him.

"You know," Johnny started, chuckling humourlessly to himself as he looked down at the table, "I haven't been friends with Jaehyun since that day... I told him despite wanting to hide it. It wouldn't leave me alone — what we did. An itch I couldn't scratch unless spoken of out loud."

Taeyong watched as a tear dropped, taken aback. He'd never seen an Alpha cry before. Except once, actually, in a memory he didn't want to get into for the sake of letting go of the past. So, to see someone like Johnny _cry_... It had shaken him up. He blamed it on his Omega then, his instincts kicking him, making him forget the anger and reach over the table to place Johnny's hand in his.

Johnny looked up with bloodshot eyes, and Taeyong realised then and there that Johnny was just as riddled with feelings as he had been all those years ago — as he was _now._

Taeyong breathed out, wounding his eyes shut and falling limp, the weight of Johnny's words now resting on him. "But that was..."

"Two years ago," Johnny finished Taeyong's trailed off sentence. Johnny wiped at his eyes, bottom lip quivering as it stuck between his teeth. He looked up to the ceiling, blinking rapidly and letting out a shaky breath. He looked back at Taeyong who was crumbling right before his eyes as he spoke, "He didn't want anything to do with me."

Two years. He and Jaehyun's once unshakeable relationship had been on rocky waters for the last two years. He and Jaehyun's relationship had been broken, damaged, irreversibly ruined all because of one— _two_ stupid mistakes.

And it was because of him.

Johnny's stare hardened then, widening his shoulder and sitting straighter. "No," Johnny said firmly, seeing how Taeyong's whole demeanour had been floundered by guilt. "What has happened, happened. I don't want you to think about it."

He didn't lie to him and tell Taeyong that it wasn't his fault because largely, it was. It was that, time, the stupidity of Alphas, and fate that had inevitably pushed them apart. Taeyong was part of that fate and he hated himself for it. He knew how alone Jaehyun was, is, now especially, and he knew even when they had stopped talking that he didn't have to worry too much about Jaehyun's well being because he had always had Johnny by his side. Taeyong was there for him when needed, but Johnny had been an irreplaceable, unyielding ever presence in his life. And Taeyong had taken that away from him.

Taeyong wept into his hands.

Tears pricked at his eyes, sharp and stinging, hot like molten iron needles that had just been taken out of a furnace to pierce into the skin of his eyes.

"Come here," Johnny said quietly and Taeyong didn't hesitate to move over so Johnny could wrap his arms around in a comforting bear hug. Taeyong's strawberry scent was souring, but he didn't care, they both needed somebody now, even if it wasn't conventional or right to be around each other now. They were all each other had for they were the only ones who could understand each other in this aspect, the only ones who knew what each other were feeling; remorse, anger, shame, and most of all, _guilt_.

"It's okay, Yongie. You're fine," Johnny whispered, words falling upon deaf ears. It was a lie he told for the both of them.

Taeyong, against the shirt of the Alpha he had used for his betrayal, in the cold and solitary kitchen, in the face of a truth he had come to accept, cried harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for reading again if you’ve made it this far!!! :D Chapter lengths fluctuate so do bear with me.
> 
> Honestly, I’m unsure if I managed to convey everyone’s feelings properly in this chapter, but I hope people sort of kinda got the gist of what I meant, or what I was going for??? It feels a bit hard to get across what I’m trying to get across lol. Please do leave thoughts, I’m always interested in hearing them! <3333  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	6. Winter Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hometown Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta’d by the lovely [neomarxist127](https://archiveofourown.org/users/neomarxist127/works)!

Time was an interesting thing, Taeyong thought. Where did it start and where did it end? How did the concept come about, where was its origins? Time made people, relationships, _everything_ uncertain — the only real guarantee that came with time was _change_. People changed, it seemed like everyone else around him had, so why was he so stagnant? Really and truly, it was _unfair_.

The remainder of December passed by slowly, and since time waited for no one, he was forced to kick himself into gear if only to barely scrape a pass in his first exams. He hadn't come to fail, that wasn't what he expected out of university, but everything had been spiralling since that one mistake; his friendships, his performance, his academics. He was struggling in all aspects, but perhaps this was exactly what he needed — Winter Break.

He had some time off now to figure out what he was going to do with himself, and decidedly, he was going to come out of the end of this new year dealing with things better. That was his decision, and though his decisions had never been such to last, what had happened between him and Doyoung gave him a much needed push in the right direction.

He'd been thinking about things, about everyone, about how he'd previously created images of them in his head. Idealistic and untrue. He'd always pegged Doyoung as strong, yet Doyoung was just as human and breakable as he was. He'd pegged Johnny as a man with a kind heart and unshakeable smile, but he, like him, was struggling inside.

And then, Jaehyun.

Taeyong shut his eyes, rolling over on his old bed, and breathed out in one deep puff. Had he gotten Jaehyun all wrong? Jaehyun at times could be hard to read, and it was hard to seek answers from the man himself as to why he had started to treat Taeyong like he did — that awful push and pull. He'd keep him close, close enough for Taeyong to fall for him over and over again, but far enough to establish that they weren't anything of real substance, far enough to be airily untouchable, far enough to _hurt_.

Jaehyun was always within reach, yet somehow out of his grasp completely. He couldn't understand it. But if there was anything he'd learned in the past months, it was that people weren't only what they made themselves out to be. Jaehyun behaved the way he behaved for a reason, even if Taeyong could not yet understand it. He'd have to wait until to Jaehyun told him, if ever. But that begged the question though, would he continue with his process of letting go or would he try again, holding unto the bleak threads of hope? He'd decide in a week's time when the clock struck twelve and he slipped into the new year.

So he had just over a week to think it over. A lot could happen in a week.

Taeyong opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom. It seemed to be the only thing time couldn't touch, not a painting, item, or hair out of place. Granted, it wasn't the bedroom he'd grown up in, no glow in the dark stickers on his wall, colourful scribbles in the corner that could never be washed off, or even the dingy old chest of drawers. But it had been his home for the past two years so he could only come to accept it as such. If he was _really_ feeling that nostalgic, he could always take a walk down into the street of his old neighbourhood and see his old home.

There was a young couple and child living in it now, his mother had told him, and he hoped it served them just as well as it did him. His memories had been brought along with him, but a new batch of experiences would be made there, a child would grow up in the four corner of those slanted bedroom walls just as he did, and he wished they felt the second hand love emanating from within it.

Taeyong rolled over on the bed, arms stretched out, and sighed into his pillow. The new bed was so uncomfortable, and his older one had to be thrown out because he had quote on quote _outgrown it._ Whatever that meant. In his opinion, the cold that tickled his toes helped him sleep better.

"Taeyong! Come downstairs please, honey!"

He was glad his mother called him when she did because all the thinking he was doing was on the verge of giving him a headache. He could borderline _hear_ the pound of thoughts in his head, whirring by like some sort of train. Pushing them to the back of his mind to surely be untucked again later that evening, he pulled up his weightless limbs and shuffled on his slippers before dragging himself downstairs sleepily. The closer he got downstairs, the more he became acutely aware of the loud non-human like noises. There was only one person, two now since Jeno had taken after his brother, who'd be shouting like that so early in the morning.

"Tyongie!" Jeno squealed, barrelling towards him. The toddler had grown since the last time Taeyong had seen him, now far too large for his body, running and stumbling about as if he couldn't yet keep himself centred. If there was one thing that hadn't changed about him, though, it was the smile in his eyes.

Taeyong leaned down to swoop him up, before ruffling his hair and pinching his cheeks. The child groaned, and Taeyong smiled, doting. He could see why Doyoung did that now, despite his powerless protests.

_Doyoung...._

"What?" Donghyuck snorted, "No greeting for me? Scoop me up in your arms, I miss what it feels like to be held." Taeyong was subconsciously grateful that Donghyuck had taken him out of what he was sure was about to turn into depressing thoughts.

Donghyuck, too, had changed, though a lot less than his younger brother. He was still short, sharp-mouthed, and of course lovable. But the chubbiness of his cheeks had sunken in to give him more defined lines on his his cheekbones, and even accentuated his lips. Mark was missing out for sure, but they were both doomed in that aspect, stuck in a cycle of not quite unrequited, requited love.

"You want me to hold you? Come here and give me a kiss then," Taeyong said, raising a brow at him with a wiggly smile. Donghyuck made a face, and Jeno stopped wriggling in his arms from the tummy tickles being given to him to instead look up at Taeyong wide eyed, offering to do so in Donghyuck's place instead. "That's what I thought," Taeyong chuckled before placing a kiss to Jeno's forehead.

"Taeyong would be a great father," his aunt's amused voice came from the door.

He put Jeno down carefully before turning back to her with an lopsided smile, scratching his arm in embarrassment. The thought was nice at its core, him and his very own children running into his arms after a long day, a thought he'd fantasised too many times to underplay the number. Was it so bad to be content with just that? Just a family and nothing other than to take care of and be taken care of in return? No other long winded aspirations? It felt like he should want more, he felt like he should _need_ more like everyone else did. Was he too simple of an Omega? _Boring?_

Donghyuck's snort, once again, fished him out of his thoughts. Right. He was supposed to be answering his aunt.

"Yeah, maybe." He blushed and his aunt cooed. Donghyuck walked over to the couch and made himself comfortable.

"Tae, go get ready for dinner. We have guests," his mother ordered lightly as she stepped out to pop her head outside the kitchen. Taeyong furrowed his brows and glanced at the clock hung at the electric fireplace. He'd thought it was around lunch time, early morning truthfully, but it was mid afternoon, already fading into evening. Where had the time gone? He never seemed to be able to quite get a hold on it.

Taeyong nodded and hauled himself upstairs to get ready, each step making him feel more awake and alive than the previous. Pyjamas would be fine if he was being honest, it wasn't like he didn't know Donghyuck, or Jeno, or his aunt, or even his uncle, but he'd been in a slump all day _thinking_. So much thinking. He actually had a headache now, he belatedly registered as he shut the room to his door to go get ready to take a shower and get himself dressed. It was something he should've done in the morning, granted he slept in, so there was that.

In the shower, Taeyong willed himself to forget, for his thoughts to be put in pause and his muscles to relax. Under the lukewarm water, he breathed out, looking up and shutting his eyes, the water trailing down his body in uneven spurts. He let his body fall limp, and his fingers turn pruney before stepping out to wrap a towel around him. At the mirror he stopped to stare at himself, water dripping from his blonde hair and faded pink ends.

Looking back at him was nothing special. An ordinary person, boring even, some people had told him back in highschool. Was he really boring? He didn't necessarily think so. Maybe. To an extent. But he was simple. He was simple, and that was fine. It was fine to be just _fine_. It was nice to be a background character in life — some people were meant for big, great, _magnificent_ things, and that wasn't what he was meant for, or wanted. It was nice to watch from the sidelines. Easy. Simple.

Things didn't always work that way though, and nothing had ever been as straightforward as it should have been.

Taeyong stopped in his tracks, in the middle of putting his shirt on his head, when he heard laughter rising from downstairs — the kitchen area if he could pinpoint it correctly. The laughter of his aunt, the giggle of Jeno, his father, his uncle, his mother, and — wait...

_Wait._

Taeyong strained his ears and scrunched his nose, sniffing. It was hard to pull apart scents, or it normally should have been, but he'd know the owner of that scent before he'd even set eyes on them. Clean peach, twinged with some masked, dark, indescribable emotion, wafting from all the way downstairs, causing him to become paralysed in shock. He hadn't expected Jaehyun of all people to be in his house right now, if his nose in any way wasn't deceiving him — but more importantly, he hadn't expected to have to confront Jaehyun now. Not yet. Not quite ever.

How soon was too soon? Because the scent of peach had grown stronger and the sound of heavy, weighted footsteps on the stairs were approaching far too quickly for him. Taeyong wrung his hands, teeth coming down on his shaking bottom lip. There was always the possibility that Jaehyun was going to the toilet, the guest bedroom, anywhere but here, but Taeyong knew better, Taeyong wasn't stupid. Jaehyun was coming for him, for the first time in a long time. For the first time since the _game._

He could turn things around, get mad at Jaehyun for what he'd done that day and kick him out with no further explanation. He could do a lot of things, but as the door handle creaked, he found that he could do nothing at all.

Did he deserve to? Did he deserve to be mad at Jaehyun after what he'd done? Maybe, and morally, no, objectively yes. Johnny was just another Alpha, he could sleep with anyone and not feel guilty, was a lie he told himself. But Johnny wasn't any other Alpha. And, in the case that he was, would things be any different? Was Taeyong nothing but a liar with broken resolve who went back to Jaehyun time and time again; too weak, too fixated to ever _let go?_

He didn't feel like he had a right to get mad at Jaehyun again. In fact... In fact, maybe Jaehyun should get mad at him. Maybe he'd confess his sins right here, right now in the emptiness of his bedroom so that Jaehyun would get mad at him, shout at him, scream, tell him words he did or didn't deserve to hear. Because right now, Taeyong would say anything, _do_ anything, to get rid of the nauseating guilt that clawed at his insides.

"Taeyong." Jaehyun's tone was uncharacteristically soft.

The scent of peach and the dark under note that was there before had only heightened. If it was because of him, he could only guess, he'd never know unless Jaehyun had told him. It didn't matter. None of whatever he was thinking mattered. His brain was a woven thread of messed up thoughts he was unable to ever piece together into something substantial. All that he could come up with was meagre;

"What are you doing here?" Taeyong asked weakly.

Jaehyun was still standing at the door, dressed in clothing bordering between formal and casual, slicked back hair and plumped lips; he looked perfect — perfect for a dinner party. And Taeyong realised it then, that this wasn't an impromptu decision, this wasn't some offhanded visit that Jaehyun had decided would be another perfect time to torment his heart, no. Jaehyun had _planned_ to come here.

"Your mother invited me here."

And there was nothing in his voice to give away his feelings, he'd never been that blatant, never wore his heart on his sleeve unlike Taeyong's whose was out in the open, on his palm, for the world to see. There was no rhyme or reason for Jaehyun's appearance, except that he was here, now, in front of Taeyong, and there was nothing he could do about it but vainly attempt to lessen the rate of his heart.

He was in the middle of debating with himself on telling Jaehyun to fully come inside or not, knowing damn well what happened the last time he'd invited an Alpha in, even if it the situation wasn't like that, and he had his entire family downstairs, yet couldn't trust himself not to do something stupid when Jaehyun, himself, spoke up.

"Listen, Tae. We need to talk. I have a lot to say," Jaehyun began, taking the initiative to step into the room uninvited, a countenance of conflict on his features. "I need to apologise—"'

Things were always terribly timed for him, because his mother's voice had cut in just then, calling them both down for dinner. Taeyong, though, was taken aback. Jaehyun apologising? When was the last time he'd heard the word apology come out, if ever, other than when they were children and he'd hurt Taeyong by pure accident that an apology would fall from his lips. What was he to apologise for?

Jaehyun, despite what Taeyong thought, was determined. He strode into the room, hands curled into fists, not out of placated anger, but in an effort to steady himself for whatever he had planned to say.

"I owe you an apology," Jaehyun breathed out heavily, and Taeyong took a step back, stunned. "For that day," he continued on, opening his eyes to lock them with Taeyong's. Jaehyun was towering over him non-threateningly, and he was hit with the flashback of Jaehyun in the locker room then, words a lot more vicious than there were now — just as firm, but now, with something undeniably soft behind them.

"Taeyong, Jaehyun, come down stairs _please_." 

His mother had tried to laugh it off, but there was a nervousness behind her words. She trusted him, but she wasn't stupid, and she knew of how her son had cried over the Alpha in the past, even if she had never commented on it. It struck him that Jaehyun's previous words had most likely been a lie. Did his mother even invite Jaehyun at all? Would she really invite him into their home, unasked?

"M-My mother," Taeyong stammered out. "We have to..." Taeyong watched as his face faltered, if only a little, seeing that Taeyong was unwilling to talk to him despite everything. Was it true? Had Taeyong finally gotten over him? Had he finally gotten what he deserved?

Taeyong grabbed his arm, unthinking, and blurted, "After dinner."

Jaehyun's brows evened out, but he didn't move. Now acutely aware of the fact that he was holding the man, Taeyong let go again as something in Jaehyun's expression shifted. "Let's talk... after dinner." He hated how his voice came out so _small_.

No matter how weak he sounded, though, Jaehyun, for once, didn't refute. He just straightened himself out, nodded, and walked out of the room. Taeyong bit his lip in hesitation, it wasn't like he could avoid going downstairs and put off any conversation they were to have afterwards. Besides, he could practically _feel_ the worry dripping from his mother's voice as she asked Jaehyun what was taking her son so long upstairs. If he waited any longer, Donghyuck would come up, and Donghyuck was _always_ one to pry.

He made his way out of his room and down the steps slowly, only half surprised when he met Donghyuck at the bottom of the step, scowling at him.

"What was taking you so long? I was coming up to drag you down because they won't let me eat unless we're all seated at the table, and I'm fucking hungry." Donghyuck rolled his eyes, and Taeyong couldn't even find it in him to playfully call out to his aunt that Donghyuck was cursing again. Instead, he followed silently, which earned him a skeptical look from his cousin.

In the kitchen, everyone _was_ already seated, despite just believing that Donghyuck's words were a slight exaggeration. The only two empty seats either in-between Jeno and his uncle, or Jaehyun and his aunt. Donghyuck shot him a smirk, and Taeyong anticipated his actions before he had already done it, slipping into the seat between Jeno and his father, leaving Taeyong to fend for himself next to Jung Jaehyun.

He could do this. The nervousness that enveloped his body was just an overreaction. There was nothing wrong with this — he knew Jaehyun, it wasn't awkward, but something had _changed_. Things felt different after the two years of minimal contact and now the past few months of their unspecified game of push and pull. But it was all in his head, he told himself as he slipped into the seat between Jaehyun and his aunt with a wonky, forced smile.

_This is fine._

His mother had prepared one of his favourite dishes, but he had lost his appetite, picking at his food like some sort of toddler. Even Jeno was eating properly, yet he, an adult, couldn't do so? If anyone noticed him trailing around the plate with his fork, they chose not to comment on it. He felt like if he put anything in his mouth, it wouldn't go down easy, throat too clogged from nervousness and slight unease. He opted to sip on his water instead.

"We were just talking earlier about how Taeyong would make a great father. I can't wait to have grandkids," his aunt said, causing Taeyong to almost choke on his water.

"They'd be _our_ grandkids," Taeyong's own father cut in, pointing his fork at her, causing the adults at the table to chuckle, all but his mother. Donghyuck, from his peripheral, rolled his eyes. He didn't even want to _glance_ at Jaehyun for his reaction.

His mother chuckled nervously, "Don't you think he's a little too young to have kids? I mean, he barely just had his first heat."

Taeyong looked away at the mention of his first heat, wincing almost, the temporarily forgotten guilt seeping back in through the cracks, and making him tense up where he sat. Suddenly, a large hand slipped over his thigh, and his breath hitched at the familiar feeling. He didn't dare look at the owner, didn't dare take in whatever emotion was swirling in Jaehyun's eyes in fear of giving himself false hope for what wouldn't have been only the millionth time. He left Jaehyun's hands there though because he would be lying to himself to say he didn't want it.

"Nonsense," his aunt bit back at her sister, his mother, "I had Donghyuck when I was nineteen, barely twenty even. How old is Taeyong, hm? Older than I was, I'm sure." His aunt paused her rant then to turn to him, and simultaneously, he felt Jaehyun's thumb stroke his thigh and his stomach swirl. "Would you like kids, Tae? Hm? Tell your mother."

His aunt was looking at him hopefully, to assist her in proving his mother wrong. Taeyong wasn't focused on her though, it was his mother's that his eyes had fallen upon, and she was looking at him with something akin to disappointment. It wasn't exactly that though, he knew, it was worry for her child. He knew that this time she wouldn't sit idly while his son got hurt again.

"Yes," he breathed out, looking away from her, but hoping she'd gotten the meaning behind his words.

He focused on his warm food, too distracted by the pull in his gut due to Jaehyun's thumb absentmindedly stroking his thigh. He had to be doing it on purpose. He _had_ to. Taeyong gathered the courage to finally look at Jaehyun beside him, and to his surprise, even if he shouldn't have been, Jaehyun was staring down at him so _intensely_. Gulping, he steadied himself before silently linking a pinkie with his and finally looking away.

Dinner continued on normally, his aunt springing back into action in conversation with his mother, Jeno blabbering happily to Donghyuck who only seemed to be half listening to him, and his father and uncle engaged in quiet conversation. Somewhere in the midst of all this, Jaehyun was laughing too, joining conversation from conversation with practiced ease.

He watched as Jaehyun fit in like the missing puzzle piece of their family table and wondered how he had done it. How did he look so perfect in _his_ home? How did he always manage to slip his way back in? How did it look like this was exactly and truly where Jaehyun had always _belonged?_

Dinner had passed by slowly, in his warped perception of time at least, aided by the fact that he had practically said nothing the entire time, but he was glad it was over now. That _did_ mean that Jaehyun was the next thing he'd have to deal with, but one thing at a time. At least he'd get that out of the way because the anticipation was physically killing him. For now though, he put on his best, most believable smile to send his family off.

 _"Mom,"_ Donghyuck whined in that tone he normally used to get Taeyong to do things for him, "Can I sleep over?" Donghyuck pouted.

Taeyong put down a giggling Jeno in his hands, staring at Donghyuck in mild confusion. They had never discussed something like that, Donghyuck hadn't mentioned it earlier, and Taeyong didn't mind it either, it more so just took him by surprise. It took him a second to register it before _ah, he'd gotten it now._

"You can ask Taeyong about Mark some other time," his aunt said flatly, causing Donghyuck to turn beet red. Taeyong admired her resistance to Donghyuck's whining, mildly surprised at the fact that she knew the reason for his supposed _sleepover_ request. There was a low snicker from behind him, and Taeyong had briefly forgotten Jaehyun behind him when he had Jeno in his arms.

"That's not the reason," Donghyuck grumbled under his breath to nobody in particular because everyone's attention had now turned away from him.

Taeyong's uncle ruffled his hair, and he smiled up at the older Beta man with kind eyes. His uncle was like him in a way, quiet and sometimes soft spoken. "Take care, Taeyong."

"Yeah, take care Tyongie!" Jeno mimicked his father's words and patted his knee. Taeyong's heart cooed in endearment, and Donghyuck made more incoherent muttering noises before swooping in to pick up his little brother in his arms. Taeyong could make out a faint _take care_ from him too, though he knew Donghyuck wasn't angered, it was embarrassment masked with anger, and he hid it well.

Both of his parents went to walk them to their car outside to which Jaehyun finally, and immediately, spoke up, "You can stop forcing yourself to smile now, they're gone."

If it was meant to be a joke, it was lost in translation because Taeyong dropped the smile and stopped waving into the darkness, but in turn, the atmosphere had fallen from the lighthearted goodbyes and morphed into something more serious.

Bravely, he spun around to speak, "you said you wanted to talk?"

He was unsure as to why he was holding his breath, perhaps it was the lack of reaction that had made him clam up. Jaehyun was leaning on the kitchen door frame, arms crossed against himself and the dress shirt pulled tight across his rolled up sleeves and his broad chest. He had managed to make something so simple look so extraordinary (even if Taeyong was a little biased), and the gold watch adorned on his wrist did nothing to tone down his subtle flex of wealth. He then realised that he was _staring_. Jaehyun was too, blankly, and Taeyong resisted the urge to squirm, now feeling oddly insecure.

Jaehyun's abrupt posture change took him by surprise, switching up from laid back (as laid back as they could have gotten with the atmosphere of something unspoken impeded in the air) and now standing straighter, rigid, before bowing at such an acute angle that Taeyong could have measured it. It was his father that had caused the reaction — the man had come in, pat Jaehyun on the back, then headed upstairs. It was his mother next.

"Ah, Jaehyun," she chimed in warmly, "Are you going home now?" She crossed her cardigan across her front, the front door was still open and the night air was causing everyone to shiver, everyone but Jaehyun it seemed.

"Actually," he started, straightening himself up and formally — and no matter how many times Taeyong had witnessed the switch in persona, it unnerved him somehow, but it was worse when they were kids. A child taking on the role of an adult was an unsettling sight to see. "I would like to take Taeyong on a walk so we can catch up, if that's alright with you, mother. We haven't been able to meet due to both of our busy schedules."

At the sight of him asking for permission like the perfect, filial son, Taeyong nearly laughed burst with scarcely contained laughter. It was a far stretch from the Jaehyun he had come to know in University; mean, harsh, uncaring, subdued, hurt, beautiful smiles. The sound of his laugh got caught in his throat, coming out as something between a choke and a whimper that made his mother shoot him a worried glance.

"I don't know..." Taeyong's mother furrowed her brows and flitted her concerned eyes over to Taeyong as if asking _him_ for permission. She sighed when she read what was in his eyes. "Alright, Jaehyun. You can have him for an hour."

Taeyong prayed it wouldn't have to last that long.

"Thank you, mother." Jaehyun smiled and the craters in his cheeks made Taeyong feel warm all over. It was funny how he'd spent the past months trying to get over the Alpha yet this was all it took for him to fall deeper. His determination was cracking, chipping at the edges, but the foundation of it had never started off strong. It was a wall destined to crumble beneath his feet.

He belatedly realised that both the Alpha and Omega's eyes on him, in waiting, and he blinked at them, coming to. "Right," he said, rubbing at his arm and turning to Jaehyun shyly, "Let's go."

"Wait, what about your jacket?" his mother interrupted, sweet scent souring in concern.

"It's fine mom," he reassured her as firmly as he could muster.

He'd brave the cold for a few minutes because he had the sinking feeling that if he went upstairs he wouldn't be able to come back down again for the night. He wasn't planning on staying out too long, and if things got too tense, he could always use the excuse of being cold to go back in. Something itched in his being, hoping that whatever it was that Jaehyun had come for it wasn't something that would leave him alone and heartbroken, only to cry into his pillow in the dead of the night. He'd done enough crying with Johnny to last him this lifetime and the next.

Jaehyun nodded at him then, an indescribable look passing over his features before stepping past Taeyong's mother and out of the door.

Taeyong was reminded that this wasn't some sort of romance novel he'd fantasised about where Jaehyun had an arm outstretched to whisk him away so they could brave the night, it wasn't some sort of secret late night meeting like they'd use to do when they only time Taeyong had courage was to sneak into Jaehyun's room in the dead of the night — it wasn't like a movie, and it wasn't like when they were teenagers or when they were kids, this, right here, right now, was _real life._

Jaehyun wasn't his prince charming.

There was an air of familiarity looming over them as they walked side by side. Jaehyun's hands were stuffed in his pockets because, unlike Taeyong, he had brought a jacket. The withering wind nipped at his arms as he hugged himself, rubbing over them. Be it on purpose or accident, they had walked into Taeyong's old neighbourhood, and he attributed Jaehyun's quietness to reminiscence and not silent vexation.

Somewhere deep down, he still expected Jaehyun to have been angry, mad, explosive even, but in its place was calmness, blank actually, and it was unnerving to say the least. He couldn't help but feel that he had warranted such anger.

But Johnny hadn't told him. Not yet at least. Would Jaehyun look at him differently then? Would his calm eyes become overcast by a whirling storm of anger directed solely at him? Taeyong didn't know the answer, he could only guess, and he hoped his answer wasn't right. He never wanted to be subjected to the stare Jaehyun had used on him the day of the first game again, he'd collapse under the weight of it, he knew, and he couldn't take his heart being crushed like that for a second time.

They had arrived at the street across his old home when Jaehyun decided it was time to say something. "Do you remember when you tried to ride my bike here for the first time?" Jaehyun brought it up casually as if the memory had just unburrowed itself from his mind.

Taeyong looked on at the house across them, two bedroom lights emanating from its inside. He tried to picture it in the daytime, the open front lawn and gravelled street, a montage of balls, toys, and scraped knees. He hadn't forgotten the memory, and, like most things, he held it dearly.

"It was where you'd gotten your scar." Jaehyun turned to face him, illuminated by the moonlight.

He turned to Jaehyun then, making out the look of his face in the dark — unreadable. The Alpha never asked for permission, he had always done what he wanted without question, and with one hand cupping Taeyong's ice cold cheek, Jaehyun thumbed the crater under his eye, causing an ocean of memories to floor over him. He'd gotten that scar when they were together, nine at the time and wobbly riding a bike for the first time with Jaehyun's help. Little Jaehyun had let go in good faith, sure Taeyong wouldn't notice as he kept on riding, but that was impossible for Taeyong not to have noticed the stark lack of his presence.

He looked back at Jaehyun who was smiling brilliantly, crooked teeth, hollow dimples, yet he panicked, and before he could register it, he had skid marks on his hands and on his knees, his face even. Taeyong thought he'd been mean then to let go like that, but looking back on it, he hadn't done it on purpose, and the way Jaehyun had kissed away his tears had made up for the sting in his hands.

"I missed you," Taeyong whispered before he could stop himself. The wall he'd spent so long to build returning to nothing but the ash and dirt on his fingertips.

"I missed you too."

And Taeyong knew it took a lot for him to say that, Jaehyun not the one for such small, sentimental things. It was Taeyong who did the hugging, Taeyong who did the holding, and Jaehyun's hands tonight were far too soft, as if he was afraid to break the Omega, as if fueled by something other than aggression this time — fueled by longing, want, _regret_. The sight was rare.

And it occurred to him then that this was the first time he'd spoken to Jaehyun without the tension, without the drama, without worrying about Jaehyun not wanting to be seen with him in public, to only keep him as a secret. The Alpha had been stripped down naked in the light of the moon. There was no more arrogant footballer Jaehyun, no teasing smirk playing on his lips, no broadened shoulders as if to subconsciously intimidate him into submission.

This was the difference, this was the Jaehyun he _knew_ — an ordinary man and an Alpha he'd come to love, be it unrequited. He liked this Jaehyun. This was the Jaehyun he had fallen in love with.

"I'm sorry, Bubu," Jaehyun words came out low but in earnest. "I'm so sorry."

Taeyong's breath hitched. What was there for him to apologise for? It felt wrong, like _he_ should be the one apologising. Would Jaehyun still feel the same way then? Did he deserve to feel the guilt that was flooding him in the first place? He had come to university wanting to get over Jaehyun, so why was it that, when he was trying to leave it all in the past, the past always found its way back to him.

Jaehyun stepped back, running his hand through his hair, and Taeyong missed the feeling of warmth from his hand. "That day, at the game," he began, eyes flickering away from Taeyong, only to settle back on him again, unfaltering. "I shouldn't have treated you like that. I should have said... I shouldn't have _done_ what I did. It was my fault, I'd had a bad week and then I kept seeing you around with Johnny and—"

Taeyong's breath hitched. If only he knew.

Something in Jaehyun's eyes glazed over. "It doesn't matter. That injury was the final straw for me. I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't want to look.. to look _weak_."

Taeyong reached out to hold his hand, rough, weathered palms that felt so warm in his. The action had made his heart thunder in his chest, so loud that he could barely hear himself over the words that came next, "But, I've seen you like that before. I've seen you like that so many times."

Jaehyun gave him a look, something akin to sadness but not quite tipping over that edge. "Taeyong, you've only seen me cry _once_."

His words rang true, and Taeyong remembered it clearly. It was the day they had their first kiss, when Jaehyun had come home from a party drunk and called Taeyong over, slurring his words — to no surprise, the Omega had rushed to his side, worry encasing his being from imagining what could have gone wrong, what could have made him call Taeyong on their off day, unprovoked. There were barely any tears when he'd got there, dried up salt crusted on his cheeks, but still, evidence that they had once been in his eyes.

Jaehyun kissed him for the first time that night and then fell asleep, whimpering in Taeyong's arms. But Jaehyun mustn't have remembered that part — and the thought was fleeting, choosing whether or not he should bring it up. Though in the end, he decided not to.

"You can tell me things, you know? Whatever bothered you back then, or is bothering you now, you can tell me. I'll listen to you. Always."

Jaehyun turned away from him then, and Taeyong feared he'd prodded too far, alluding to things of the past Jaehyun would never tell him about unless mumbling, half asleep, in his arms. Taeyong was his solace, but he was never his confidant.

"Follow me," Jaehyun started, peering over to the house in the distance. The lights were off now and the street was asleep. He turned to Taeyong, "Follow me home for dinner tomorrow."

Taeyong's words were caught in his throat at the implications, but he wouldn't play the fools fiddle for the hundredth time, he wouldn't delude himself into thinking it was anything more than it was. This was why Jaehyun had come to him, to ask this of him and to apologise, but it soothed him, as selfish as it was, to know that Jaehyun still sought him for support. The words were trapped, and his lips were cold, but there was always comfort in touch.

Jaehyun slipped a hand in his, and Taeyong breathed out, looking up to lock eyes with him. In the face of everything, Jaehyun, for once, looked _honest_.

"Yes, I'll follow you."

He didn't have the guts to say it, but he wished Jaehyun could read his eyes in the dark of the night because the remainder of his sentence was left unsaid; _Always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sure we all missed the Jaeyong content, Jaehyun wasn’t even directly in the last chapter at all :( Do bear with me LOL, it annoys me just as much as it annoys you <3 There was just a whole lot of introspection in this chapter, not a lot of action? So I debated joining it with the next chapter, and I still might do that at a later date, we’ll see. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this far, we’re about half way now wowowow! Thoughts, as always, are appreciated! Your comments on the last chapter really gave me a lot to think about <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	7. New Year’s Resolutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [this picture](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2010212205280106.jpeg)

Taeyong wondered how long it had been since he'd last visited the Jung residence. Two years going on three? Three years going on four? And the majority of his visits were never like this, if they weren't outside playing under the watchful eye of the head maid as kids, it was him sneaking into Jaehyun's room every night as a teenager, like a cheater, or some hidden mistress, when they never truly did anything but talk. Or stay quiet. Sometimes he'd cradle the Alpha in his arms, words unspoken because Jaehyun wouldn't want to talk about it, and Taeyong was always too afraid to pry.

And despite the endless times he'd been to the Jung's house — the Jung's _mansion_ — he could count on his fingers the number of times he'd been to the dining room. It was a sacred area, he thought, boxed up and closed off from the world, an untouchable aura of beauty and wealth surrounding it. It was rarely used, that was one of the things he'd found out from Jaehyun, because they never ate together — father too busy, mother too invested in other lives and dinner parties but their own. Jaehyun ate alone, or with him whenever he'd visit Taeyong's — and the action that had grown to become spare as they grew older. It was always Taeyong that would go to _him_.

Nevertheless, to be seated along the long, mahogany table with its untouchable shine and slender edges was an unfamiliar feeling. He felt like he should have been somewhere mingling with the maids, watching the lives of the rich from outside their unapproachable bubble, because another thing to note was that the Jung family wasn't welcoming.

It had started at the door, when he and Jaehyun arrived, and Mrs Jung was surprised to see blonde tufts of hair poke out from behind her son to reveal a small man dressed in what he could only hope was semi formal clothing — to reveal _Taeyong_. And despite how long he spent getting undressed and redressed, he felt terribly underdressed compared to Mrs Jung, compared to Jaehyun even. The woman had a harsh air around her, with pristine, white smiles that didn't reach her eyes, and long, elegant movements as if to say the upper class were beings other than human.

They were. Taeyong was the odd one out.

"Ah, Lee Taeyong. I don't recall seeing you often since you were a child."

That was a lie, his mother had caught him sneaking in the night of Jaehyun's sixteenth birthday with a small slice of cake and a handful of candles.

Mrs Jung gave him a once over with the flick of her wrist, contempt and disdain hidden under her sickeningly sweet smile. Jaehyun stepped in first, protective almost with the way he guarded Taeyong behind him, as if left in the clutches of his mother for even a moment, she'd sink perfectly manicured nails in. Mrs Jung watched her son's behaviour with keen, slitted eyes, but the smile on her face never dropped. Taeyong wondered if it ever got tiring to put up such mendacity, it was admiring almost, his face always showed far too much, be that a blessing or a curse.

The Jung household hadn't changed one bit, and stepping inside, he felt a wave of warm nostalgia flood over him. High walls, family portraits devoid of emotion, delicate and extravagant furniture and decor. They'd passed the kitchen where Taeyong's feet had paused for a moment, eyes softening at the remembrance of the times they'd spent there, running around when Jaehyun's parents weren't home, under the worrying and watchful eye of the head maid. Elizabeth was her English name, Bon-Hwa her Korean.

He couldn't remember the things she'd said or done, but he could remember how she made him _feel_ — he could remember how she'd treated Jaehyun, like that of a mother. And Jaehyun had never told him what happened to her, she'd been there for so long, and then the one day... she just wasn't. He'd asked Jaehyun about it, but the shut down he'd received was harsh — harsher than usual — so he'd never asked again. The feelings the tongue could invoke were dangerous things.

The thought only lasted for a millisecond because Jaehyun had caught on and ushered him more sharply towards the dining room on the opposite side of the hallway. He would've been a bit annoyed if not for the fact the sight of food had taken his breath and thoughts away. Food plated from head to toe on those same sort of china plates his mother kept locked in a cupboard only to be used for special guests, but these were far more expensive, he knew, probably one of a kind, as miscellaneous as they were.

To top it all off, Jaehyun's father, Mr Jung, sat at the peak of the table — and the notions of head Alphas were long erased in modern history, but if he were to imagine it, that's exactly what Mr Jung would have been in his current situation. The power he exuded was frightening almost, and Taeyong was reluctant to take a seat near the man, but Jaehyun, as if having read his mind, escorted him somewhere in the middle, on the man's adjacent side — far enough to settle his nerves but close enough to not be considered rude.

And if Mr Jung couldn't smell his fear from where he sat, Mrs Jung, without a shadow of a doubt, could, with the way she took a seat right in front of them.

"You don't remember how to greet?"

There was no name attached to Mr Jung's words but it was obvious that the ice in his words was meant to cut Taeyong, and it had _worked_. Taeyong visibly recoiled into himself, opening his mouth to stutter out words that came out as nothing literate. He'd thought he'd met the worst dealing with the likes of Jaehyun, but Mr and Mrs Jung were far out of his league. He was sitting there stuttering like a fool and it was so damn _embarrassing_.

Jaehyun's scent had been off even before they even stepped into the house, but now, it had impossibly soured, making Taeyong's nose scrunch and his words fall flat. And Jaehyun was in no way as menacing as his father, but Taeyong feared to ever be on the receiving end of such harsh tones and glares, "Father. _Taeyong_ has come as per request—"

Jaehyun's parents had officially wanted to meet him? Taeyong's lips parted at the revelation, and he hoped to divulge further in that sentence, but Jaehyun was cut off by the snort of his father. His laughter told them that Jaehyun's words were incredulous, it was mocking even. "You're telling me," he started with the tilt of his head, "this was the reason you've been rejecting our offers? Because of this _thing?"_

Taeyong's ears perked up. What offers had Jaehyun been receiving? He'd ask, but the knowledge that Jaehyun would most likely evade his question prevented him from doing so. Besides, it wasn't the time nor place.

"His _name_ is Taeyong, father. Don't pretend you don't know this," Jaehyun said with a mix of reigned in anger and exasperation.

Taeyong wanted to unwrap the white knuckles around his knife and fork and kiss them one by one, holding them in his own, and pulling them away to spend their second evening before Christmas elsewhere. His feet and fingers were itching to perform the action, but it was like there was an invisible that force kept him glued to his seat, preventing him from making such an error.

Jaehyun tilted his head just as sweetly as his father, forcing himself to stay calm. "Now, why don't we have a nice family dinner for early Christmas?"

"Of course, my son." Mr Jung's words lacked fatherly love — or just _love_ at all — and he smiled, far too much teeth and far too practiced to be considered genuine.

Taeyong wondered if he wasn't there, would he still be smiling? He doubted he'd keep up such pretences when it was just him and his family, after all, Taeyong was the only one who could be considered a guest. He didn't respect Taeyong, not for an inch of his life, he probably respected the untouched wine in his glass more than he respected the Omega, yet he was smiling regardless. Taeyong shifted in his seat, the sight made him restless.

They resumed their barely begun dinner, and Taeyong had to hold himself back from eating normally, copying the tiny morsel bites Mrs Jung took just to make a good impression in lieu of engorging himself because honestly, the food looked really fucking good. Jaehyun had eaten next to nothing, and conversation was practically non-existent. Though, Taeyong's mind still couldn't help but go back to Jaehyun and his father's conversation. Mr Jung's words were somehow... _off putting._

"I'm not a thing," Taeyong had said quietly, but with the silence of the room and with the sharp ears of the three Alphas, they had caught unto his words. And honestly, he didn't know where such bravery came from. It was Jaehyun's mother that spoke then after all her moments of silence, not surprise nor questioning in her voice, more so a _dare_ for him to speak up again.

_"What?"_

"I said," Taeyong started up, taking in a deep breath and trying to settle the shakiness in his fingers that gave away just how nervous he was, "I'm not a thing, you know, from earlier. I'm a person. An Omega."

There was no more clink of cutlery to pristine plates, and the atmosphere in the room was almost tangible, clogging his throat as he breathed in. Despite it, he flickered his eyes between both Mr and Mrs Jung, unthinking stupidity masked with unstable determination in his eyes.

He locked eyes with Mrs Jung at last, "I'm Taeyong."

There was a pause — thick, heavy, palpable, _anticipating_. Taeyong's heart was beating out of his chest — _what the hell was he thinking?_

Jaehyun, on the other hand, looked proud. Mr Jung, not so much. "Is that so?" His nostrils had flared from the tame defiance, an indication of anger, though he wouldn't expose himself so wholly. Taeyong was tempted to shrink back into himself and return into the quiet, nameless, nobody that he was a mere minute ago. He was thankful for Jaehyun's words when they came.

"You heard him, Taeyong's his name and you will address him as such or we will leave." The was an element of pride in his voice, or something akin to it. It had dialled back his anger a bit, and Taeyong felt himself relax again at the smell of Jaehyun's scent sweetening again, if only a bit — he was clearly still on edge. Taeyong almost viscerally preened at the hand that squeezed his thigh in approval.

Mr Jung slit his eyes and dropped his knife with a clang that resounded far too loud for the silence in the room. "Is that why you've brought him here? To prove something? You've proved nothing but your incapability of getting yourself an Omega who knows their place. Is that what you want? You know better than that, son, I _raised_ you better than that."

Jaehyun discarded his words, focusing on only one thing. "Say his name," Jaehyun gritted out.

The tension was rising, and Taeyong couldn't help but think that he should've just stayed quiet, smiled politely, and left whenever he finally got too suffocated — upped and silently begged Jaehyun to leave with him, which he doubted there would have been any qualms about. Despite that, though, he didn't regret correcting them. He'd stood up for himself, as small as it was, and that was that. Mr Jung be damned.

"Your _Omega_ needs to learn his place," Mr Jung said after a drummed beat had passed, eyebrows raised as if his son's words had been nothing but a form of amusement. From his peripheral, he could see Mrs Jung make a displeased expression, most likely upset at her husband's and son's actions in front of their guest. Taeyong's eyes widened and his breath hitched as Jaehyun shot up from his chair, hands clenched into ivory fists.

"Jaehyun," his mother warned in controlled fury, but it fell on deaf ears.

Jaehyun didn't even respond, and Taeyong felt as if he was watching some terrible chaebol drama with heirs and plot twists, but he'd been placed in it, and this was _real life._ He could only swallow thickly, racking his brain for ways he could deescalate the situation. He'd come here as some sort of support, not to drag attention onto himself and make a scene, directly or indirectly. And it would be less than a mere moment before Jaehyun exploded, and by then he'd be unable to do anything.

So, Taeyong did the only thing he could think to do; he pushed out of his chair with a screech, stood up, and blurted, "I need to pee." And it was by no means polite, or well done, more so something close to _crude_ , but it had _worked_.

"Go," Mrs Jung said with a displeased expression as if sending off a disobedient child.

And Taeyong didn't dare look over at Mr Jung as he turned to leave, nor Jaehyun even, not wanting to see the Alpha's expression. He could only guess what it would be. Anger? Relief? Blankness? Disappointment? It didn't matter. It was for Jaehyun's own good — perhaps his lack of presence would have the opposite effect and actually calm the Alpha, show him there was no need to defend his unclaimed Omega in some silly show of pride. Taeyong didn't want to be under such fire. He needed to think, and more importantly, he needed to _breathe_.

He could make out broken pieces of conversation as he left through the door, "...dangerous.... money... university."

It could mean a hundred and one things, and he wasn't going to give himself another headache unsuccessfully putting the pieces together. He'd done enough thinking over the past few days to last him a lifetime. And frankly, he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was _here_ — in the Jung's mansion, in the Jung's dining room, now going up their twisted and wound up steps in search of the bathroom. The thing was, he knew he shouldn't have been there. No matter what way he looked at it, he _shouldn't_ have been there. Because if Jaehyun knew... God, if Jaehyun _knew_.

In the mirror of the bathroom, he decided that it didn't matter. What had happened had happened and he didn't have to deal with it right now. What he had to focus on now was making it through this god-awful night and sleeping himself away in the confines of his room until Christmas. He was just tired. So, so tired. And he didn't deserve to feel that way either, he thought. Tired of what? He hadn't done anything? Jaehyun should be the tired one having to deal with people like that, having to deal with a _family_ like that.

And for once in his life, Taeyong felt as if he understood him. Someway, somehow, Jaehyun, and how he'd turned out up until now, made sense. A piece of that puzzle he'd always been trying to put together now clicked into place and made him _understand_. This, downstairs, was part of why Jaehyun was like the way he was, and to Taeyong, that vague understanding made things make more sense.

Deciding he'd been stalling in the bathroom for too long, Taeyong washed and dried his hands for a second time before making his way back out into the empty hallway. It diverged into two lanes, one a path he'd never taken before, one he didn't even _want_ to take, and another so familiar he'd be able to find his way through with his eyes closed and nothing but the sound of his beating heart to guide him.

The door to Jaehyun's bedroom had been left ajar, allowing Taeyong to stop in his tracks and take a peek inside. A wave of nostalgia flooded his being because Jaehyun's room hadn't changed. Not the sheets, not the signed football posters, not even the cross Jaehyun placed above his bed — the Alpha wasn't even religious, but perhaps it gave him a sense of reassurance or helped him sleep better at night with the thought that there was something even bigger than him. Maybe it was to humble him.

Or maybe it didn't mean anything. But as Taeyong made to step inside and run his hands over sheets that looked far too neat and tucked in to prove that anyone was still staying there, he was called away. "Taeyong," a commanding voice came from down the stairs. His head snapped towards the source. Jaehyun half way up, fists clenched, jaw hardened, and waiting for him. "We're leaving."

Taeyong glanced back at the bedroom, moonlight flitting in from the open windows as he felt something tug at his heart. He'd spent many nights there, him and Jaehyun, and walking away from it now felt like he was leaving something behind. And despite the urge to go into the room and run his hands over the sheets that no longer even had the faintest hint of peach, he turned himself back around and walked straight past it, downstairs to the Alpha that was waiting for him. This house symbolised the past and he was ready, this time, to take a step into the present.

Taeyong's hand was engulfed by Jaehyun's, albeit not exactly fondly, and he was taken out from the stairway and into the hallway towards the door. As they approached the door of the dining room, Taeyong tugged his hand back hard enough for Jaehyun to stop. He squeezed it before turning to Mr and Mrs Jung, food in front of them just as beautifully laid out and untouched as it had been since the beginning of the night.

Taeyong hadn't missed much, and he wouldn't be staying to find out anything further. Call it bravery, call it stupidity, but Taeyong felt the ground rise up beneath his feet and call forward a surge of strength he didn't even know had existed.

"Oh, and Mr Jung?" Taeyong called out causing the man to lock eyes with him. Despite that, he didn't back down. Jaehyun, beside him, for once, was quiet. "My name is Taeyong, please get it right next time."

Though all of them knew, there wouldn't ever be a next time.

There were muted sounds coming from downstairs, laughter and undoubtedly the sound of Jeno crashing into things with his new toys. Donghyuck was laying beside him on his stomach, swinging his feet back and forth as he scrolled through his phone, and Taeyong sat at the head of the bed, biting his nails in anticipation for a text back. Doyoung had managed to text him at 12am on the dot when he was asleep, wishing him a Merry Christmas, and Taeyong had texted him back in the morning — but it was far too late, he had missed his opportunity.

Doyoung never seemed like the type to give away second chances.

"...so, what do you think?"

Taeyong's head shot up at the sound of Donghyuck's voice. He hadn't even noticed the boy was talking. And Donghyuck sighed, narked, before sitting up, crossing his legs, and waving a pair of glasses in his face — _his_ glasses. "What do you think?"

Taeyong blinked up at him, not fully registering the fact that Donghyuck was on the verge of breaking the thing. "Think about what?" He sat up straighter and furrowed his brow, watching as Donghyuck dangled the glasses lazily between his fingers. He didn't wear them often, only on the rare occasion he'd forgotten his eyedrops — black, rectangular things that framed his face too harshly and made him look angular in all the wrong places.

Taeyong pouted and put out a hand, "Give me that."

Donghyuck ignored him. "I think I'd look nice in glasses," he said wistfully, swinging his legs. "Don't you think so?"

Taeyong knew the underlying meaning of those words because Donghyuck made himself far too transparent, but that thought was probably hypocritical, all things considered. Maybe he just knew Donghyuck too well at this point. "Yes, but you don't _need_ them. I don't think it'd matter to him whether you wore glasses or not if he liked you, Hyuck."

"Who said anything about Mark?" Donghyuck narrowed his eyes with a huff and scowled.

"Exactly."

Taeyong's lips quirked upwards, not exactly having the energy to smile just yet despite it being Christmas — he had lost his spirit. Donghyuck scrunched his nose, miffed, before flopping back on the bed, the arm with the glasses hanging off the edge. It gave Taeyong a bit of anxiety to see Donghyuck playing so carelessly with it like that, but Donghyuck's actions weren't the real source of his anxiety, a mere redirection of emotions, and he could pinpoint the real cause of it if he were to try. He didn't. Thinking about it would make it worse.

Unexpectedly, Donghyuck broke into a wide grin. "You know," Donghyuck began slyly, "I should come visit your university."

"I mean, you could visit me at any time," Taeyong told him, although he knew Donghyuck wasn't exactly coming to visit him. Not by a long shot."Just don't expect me to open the door," he teased.

Donghyuck sat up, angered. "What do you mean you won't open the door?" Taeyong watched as his glasses dropped to the floor with a barely audible thud, and Donghyuck speedily changed his tune, whining now. " _Yongie_ , Why not?" He leaned forward to rub his head along Taeyong's shoulder, rolling his body over him like a restless child. Taeyong smiled, endeared. Of course he'd let Donghyuck in at any time, but it was interesting to watch how Donghyuck behaved when he didn't get what he wanted.

Donghyuck groaned, fake sniffling into Taeyong's chest, _"Please."_

Taeyong held his head in his hands, hauled Donghyuck from his chest, and placed a short kiss to the Omega's forehead. "No."

Donghyuck pulled away and flopped back into the bed, irked. "You only don't want me there 'cause Jaehyun's there," he said bitterly.

Taeyong's smile dropped. Right. Jaehyun. He hadn't ended it right with him two days ago. He'd left things... out of place. He regretted it now, thinking back, because maybe he'd overreacted, maybe he'd been completely justified, but despite whoever was in the right, who ever was in the wrong, it shouldn't have ended _like that._ He hated when they were silently angry at each other, though Taeyong was usually too weak willed too last.

Even now, he couldn't harbour those same feelings anymore, not now, not when he knew that Jaehyun was alone for Christmas. He couldn't help but feel bad for him, as he always did, and he wished it were a few years earlier just so he could slip a present into Jaehyun's locker, or wrap him in his arms at night so that the Alpha knew that despite everything and everyone, he was loved. He couldn't help but think back to the sudden turn of events two nights ago after they'd left Jaehyun's parents and about his own sudden shift in attitude... one that, despite Jaehyun's probable, current loneliness, he didn't regret.

_"What happened?" Taeyong asked for the millionth time._

_They were outside of the house, past the gardens, and outside the car parked in front of the front gate. Jaehyun had been pacing, and he'd even punched the nearest thing to him in short-circuited anger — a tree. Taeyong eyed the hand, too dark in the night to tell if there were splinters or blood, though he was certain there was. Jaehyun wouldn't even let him take a look at it if he tried. He'd lost energy now, given up — he was cold, tired, and truly, Taeyong just wanted to go **home.**_

_He hadn't expected Jaehyun to answer him when he did. "Said if I didn't come home and fix up they'd get me kicked off the team and cut my funds. I don't fucking care anymore, cut my fucking funds, they won't be able to take my team away, that's out of their hands."_ _Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair with the bloodied hand, jaw clenched._

_At this point, Taeyong was just so **tired.**_

_"I mean, for fucks sake," Taeyong started, unknowingly slipping in a curse, not noticing how the Alpha had hardened his eyes immediately afterwards,"you didn't tell them I was coming, did you? That's why they treated me like that.. Jaehyun, why did you bring me with you?"_

_"Because I wanted to."_

_And that was it, nothing else, as if his reasoning was just that simple. His reasoning was always that simple, and Taeyong knew from past prying that he couldn't get anything out of him if the Alpha didn't want to disclose it. And frankly, he was sick of it. Taeyong took a step back, hugging himself with his arms and dropping Jaehyun's hand, a silent telling of his disillusionment._

_"Taeyong," Jaehyun said warningly at Taeyong's sudden change in behaviour._

_Taeyong gave him a sour look, feeling unlike himself, and side-stepped the Alpha, despite his feet begging for him to go back. It was too late now, and he wouldn't embarrass himself for the nth time by giving up so soon._

_He always gave up too quickly, that_ _was his problem, so to say he was proud with the way he didn't even give Jaehyun a second glance and walked straight past him, towards the car, was an understatement. It should have been pathetic how a small thing made him feel so proud, but it was a start, it was a beginning, and he couldn't help but give himself an invisible pat at the back for his small step forward._

_"Taeyong," he heard Jaehyun say once more, still slightly angered, if only bubbling under the surface, but Taeyong opened the door to the car, slipped in, and shut it._

_He couldn't make out Jaehyun's expression, but he hoped the Alpha was surprised. He surely must have been — from Taeyong's display inside, to his sudden change in attitude outside, refusing to talk to Jaehyun anymore until the Alpha opened and told him something — **anything** for Christ_ _sake. He, himself, didn't know exactly where this was coming from, and he knew he couldn't ever force Jaehyun to tell him what he wanted to but... **fuck**. He just wished Jaehyun would tell him things. How could he keep on prying and prying yet never get a piece of information in return? What made the Alpha so stubborn?_

_After an elongated moment, Jaehyun came in, shut the car door, turned to him, eyeing him in the dark, and for a moment, Taeyong believed that he was contemplating whether to finally say something and open up, but, unsurprisingly, he just turned away and started the car. Taeyong turned away from him too then, looking out of the window with a tense expression._

_The car engine revved and the wind howled. "Let's get you home."_

Taeyong didn't regret his actions. His anger felt... justified somehow. But still. Something made him scared to even _text_ Jaehyun a Merry Christmas. The fear of no reply? That wasn't it. The fear of the Alpha snapping at him? Jaehyun wouldn't do that.. would he?

That wasn't it either though. It was the irrational fear that by now, Jaehyun may have _found out._ The thought didn't even make sense. Johnny hadn't even told Jaehyun what happened yet, he would've told Taeyong if he did or was going to. Maybe it wasn't a fear of any of those things at all. So what exactly was causing him such crippling anxiety that he couldn't even find it in him to text Jaehyun two words on Christmas day?

The door to his room burst open, and in its place was Jeno jumping up and down, physically vibrating with unmatched excitement. "Tyongie, Hyuckie! Snow, snow, _snow!_ "

Donghyuck grumbled, annoyed, and trudged over to pull open the blinds in one swift motion as Jeno scampered behind him. And sure enough, there were white crystals dancing in the sky — beautiful, twinkling _snow_. The first there had been in years.

Taeyong wondered what Jaehyun was doing then.

If there was one thing Taeyong had come to realise, it was that he didn't like parties. He didn't like the drama, he didn't like the atmosphere, and he didn't like bumping into people every two seconds just because the entire place was unnecessarily cramped up. He'd never had one good stroke of luck with any of the parties he'd been to so far, and somewhere deep down, he had a feeling this may or may not have been the exception.

It didn't matter — it was far too late to go back now, the town's was party already in full swing, and he'd only have to wait another thirty minutes for the new years countdown before he could finally go home. He could survive another thirty minutes of this, he assured himself.

There were a few people from highschool, those that hadn't left, forever bound to the confines of their small town, and he knew them, and they knew him, but he wouldn't ever approach them. He'd never really made friends, Donghyuck didn't count, Johnny was his friend in passing, and Jaehyun... their relationship felt far too complicated to label them as friends.

They were _something,_ now as they'd always been, but with this new year came change; it was time for him to decide whether he'd hold on to the threads that made up Jung Jaehyun just that little bit longer, or unravel its pieces and weave a new start without the Alpha by his side, using only his inexperienced fingertips.

He'd decided this a long time ago, but this somehow, now, felt more official. This wasn't like all the times he'd made up his mind telling himself he'd get over Jaehyun this time and it wouldn't last — those times he'd never been certain, and the rods that held those foundations were made of nothing but glass, but this time, he decided, if the clock were to strike twelve and he'd make up his mind not to want Jaehyun anymore, he'd take his time to build it up again; slowly, steadily, until it was strong and unshakeable, until he could look back and see how far he'd come.

But that was _if._ Taeyong always had a knack for giving second chances. That, in and of itself, would always be his fatal flaw.

Taeyong swirled his cup, sloshing the nearly empty contents. He'd been at the party for over an hour now and mostly only taken sips, yet somehow his drink depleted. He felt like he oddly had a lot in common with depressing brown liquid staring back at him. It sort of nearly made him laugh.

Making his way to the drinks area, he avoided conversation with anyone whose eyes lingered on him a beat too long. He refilled his drink, non-alcoholic, and then stared down at that depressingly because where was the fun in that? If Ten and Doyoung were here...

Taeyong sighed and shut his eyes, there was no use conjuring up the impossible, no matter how much he wished he could think it into fruition.

There was a clamp of a hand on his back, and Taeyong nearly dropped his drink as he jolted upwards. He didn't smell a familiar scent — a Beta most likely — but that only aided the fleeting fear. He relaxed at the sight of the Beta behind him, someone he was sure to have met before but couldn't for the life of him remember, only to become frigid again as he noticed the Beta's eyes scan him from head to toe, _hungry_. And there wasn't a waft of alcohol on him, this man was hitting on Taeyong, and he was hitting on him _sober._

And Taeyong wasn't a fool. He was well aware of his looks. And at first, at a tender age, he became insecure because his family would tell him of his beauty, but no Alpha had ever approached him. It wasn't until he was a sophomore that he figured out the reason why.

He was sure of the first four letters of the name, but after that it was blurry. Hyunwon? Hyunjin? Hyunseok? The name would no longer come to him, but what he _could_ remember was the young boy who presented him a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a bouquet of lilies on valentines day. Taeyong was young, naive, and _desperate_. It was, above all else, validating. He'd agreed for one date despite knowing, in the four corners of his mind that it'd never work, they'd never make it into anything of real substance because his heart was still tied to another, and Jaehyun, whether he knew it or not at the time, wasn't ready to let him slip away because he was just that _selfish._

They didn't work out for more reasons than one.

Hyunseok had stood him up, Hyunseok hadn't even texted or called, and in spite of that, Taeyong had been worried. He'd asked the Alpha's friends when the boy didn't come into school, and he'd waited around his locker, but Hyunseok never came. Hyunseok never came in the days after either. It was by some twisted leap of faith that he'd found himself in front of Jaehyun in the cafeteria, feet planted before the Alpha who looked at him blankly, a silent warning to talk to him after like they always did, in order to keep him hidden like some sort of paid mistress.

Taeyong asked and Jaehyun smiled. He didn't know where Hyunseok was that week, and the cuts on his knuckles had come from a football match. Why would he _care_ about Taeyong and Hyunseok? Taeyong should've known by now that he meant nothing to him, nothing to him in public at least. It was incredible how he always kept up such a facade.

Hyunseok was gone, this was another Beta, and Jaehyun no longer had some sort of twisted stake of claim on him anymore.

"Hi," the Beta started, holding out his hand, "I'm Minjae. Kim Minjae."

Taeyong watched it hesitantly before picking it up and shaking it politely. It felt far too soft, far too unlike Jaehyun's. And he felt shame for more than just that comparative thought because he had known the Beta in front of him now, vaguely and strangely, yet hadn't been able to recall his name. It was like he'd been a nameless face in Taeyong's memories one too many times to count; enough to be familiar, yet not enough time to have ever mattered.

Taeyong was the first to let go, but Minjae smiled. It was pretty — he was too. And his cologne was fruity, Taeyong noted. Like peaches. But it could never be the real deal.

"Are you Taeyong? Sorry, that sounds weird," he laughed, "Lee Taeyong. I think we went to the same highschool. I saw you around." The Beta's eyes scanned him again and Taeyong resisted the urge to squirm. There was nothing wrong with this interaction, and yet, he still managed to feel discomfited. "You're pretty. You've always been pretty."

"I think I saw you around too," Taeyong lied, not addressing his second sentence at all. Where were the Beta's words back in highschool? Why, of all times, _now?_ "Were you in my year?"

Minjae's eyes lit up, "Yes!" And Taeyong didn't have the heart to tell him it was an honest to God guess. "I'm surprised you remember me, you always looked so.. busy. Distant. You looked like you were thinking a lot, haha, I didn't think I could ever get your attention."

 _You didn't,_ Taeyong wanted to say but refrained because he wasn't that mean and that was just plain harsh. Minjae was here, and he was friendly, and he was a way to pass the time. Taeyong breathed out subtly, in efforts to force his body to relax. There were hairs standing on the back of his neck, spiked up as if gravity had called them to attention, and his body felt warm from unease. He'd go to the rooftop for the countdown after this. Maybe leaving Minjae in the kitchen would also leave that god-awful feeling behind.

"I thought you came alone, but I guess I was wrong," the Beta said, tone laced with disappointment as if he'd missed an opportunity. The Beta then paused. "Or am I wrong again?" And this time, there was hope to his voice.

Taeyong followed his eyes behind him and he now realised why he had been uncomfortable throughout the entire interaction; it was because he was being _watched._

Jaehyun was here, and he couldn't begin to fathom how he hadn't noticed it before, but the scent of peach was prominent, almost bitter in his nose, the complete opposite of how he looked — passive. He, like Taeyong, was alone, and the Omega guessed he'd probably just arrived, but he had a cup in his hand so he _had_ to have been there for ten minutes at the very least. Enough time to greet the people who needed to be greeted, and enough time to get himself a drink that would most likely remain full for the rest of the night.

His eyes travelled from Jaehyun's calm hand to the thinly veiled rage in his eyes. Minjae probably couldn't see it, Jaehyun always had a way of making himself seem so.. so goddamn _composed_ in these situations that it was genuinely unnerving how well he hid his anger.

There was no question it'd show later on, when they'd inevitably find themselves alone again, and Jaehyun would stir in silent jealousy despite not verbalising what he wanted, or maybe Jaehyun would come over now even, tell Minjae with a silent arm around Taeyong's waist an unspoken fuck off before removing it when Minjae was gone and pretending like it was never there in the first place. He was awfully good at that. And it had made Taeyong's heart flutter at the brief contact every. single. time.

"Did you not come together?" Minjae inquired, grabbing his attention. Taeyong turned back to face the Beta, blinking and shaking his head slightly.

"Um, no actually." The Beta looked surprised, for what? Taeyong could only guess. If they went to the same highschool maybe Minjae knew of Jaehyun's stake of claim. "I came here with my cousin actually — Donghyuck — but I don't really know where he's gone off to," Taeyong said awkwardly, but then his body suddenly relaxed, and he smiled at the Beta for the first time throughout their conversation.

And he realised it then; It wasn't Minjae that had made him feel uncomfortable — it was _Jaehyun._ It was the way Jaehyun watched with hard eyes, it was the way Taeyong stood, waiting, anticipating for Jaehyun to somehow break them up. That was what it was. And that was what never came because Jaehyun had gone — Jaehyun had turned over a new leaf and walked away. It was suspicious, but it meant something; It meant that he was trying — trying for _change_ — and that, in and of itself, was enough to make Taeyong think again.

"I think I saw Donghyuck!" the Beta in front of him said far too enthusiastically, and Taeyong smiled then, feeling more at ease. "On the rooftop, that way if we went through the back stairs." Minjae paused. "I'm not going to like, kidnap you or anything. I'll just take you to him and leave if you want me to," the Beta offered, hope in his voice like he wanted something more.

Taeyong wasn't like Jaehyun, he wouldn't give him false hope. Or maybe he was because saying nothing could be more detrimental than saying anything at all — he, of all people, knew that first hand. Stuck between outright rejecting his advances and revelling in the flattery, Taeyong nodded and allowed the Beta to lead him to his cousin.

By the time they had reached the rooftop, Taeyong had loosened up considerably. With each step he took away from the area, with each step he took away the drinks, away from Jaehyun's eyes that screamed that he wanted to talk to him, he felt lighter. And it was funny now almost, because Taeyong was now the one avoiding conversation. But that was until the clock struck twelve — he had until then to make up his mind.

Minjae wasn't a liar, he found out, because Donghyuck was on the rooftop with the other teenagers and townsfolk waiting for the countdown. When Donghyuck spotted him, he grinned, and Taeyong smiled back at the sight of a familiar and easy face, even with the fact that Donghyuck was walking over to him like a drunkard. Donghyuck's head buried itself in his chest, and he wrapped his arms around Taeyong, swaying off beat to the music. Taeyong smiled fondly, forgetting to thank Beta that had brought him for a moment, but then pinched Donghyuck's bum when he got a whiff of alcohol that was wafting off of the Omega.

Donghyuck lifted his head off his chest with a whine. "What was that for?"

"You're too young to be drinking," he scolded, peering down at Donghyuck who was making muffled, disgruntled noises.

Donghyuck peeled off him completely, lidded eyes filled with subdued ire in his drunken stupor. Taeyong wanted to crack a smile — at least he wasn't the only lightweight. He'd underestimated Donghyuck, though, because his ever runny mouth would only turn into a waterfall once he was drunk. "Why do you act like such a virgin?"

Taeyong stilled, turning red. From beside him, there was a well-meaning chuckle from Minjae. And once Donghyuck started he couldn't be stopped, "Donghyuck, no drinking! Donghyuck, no sexual activity! Donghyuck, no running around!" Taeyong watched him, stupefied, as other heads on the balcony turned to view the display. Small towns had a reputation of being too nosy for their own good, and this one was of no exception.

"Like _fuck,_ Yong, have you gotten your dick wet in college at all? Loosen _up,_ if not, I'll tell Jaehyun to hurry up and—"

Taeyong clamped a hand over his mouth, mortified. If he knew anything about the reincarnated devil in front of him, it was that his very next word would be _fuck_ and the word after that would be _you._ And Taeyong could only be thankful that the countdown was starting because it was the only thing that provided a distraction.

"Hyuckie," Taeyong hissed with a forced smile, "The countdown's starting."

Donghyuck grumbled for a moment more under the hand that had shut him up before his droopy eyes widened as if to register; _oh, the countdown's starting._ And they were on forty five seconds by the time Donghyuck finally turned around. Taeyong shivered, gazing into the night sky quietly as everyone around him cheered for the new year. There was no optimism this time around because for him, the fear and anticipation of making a decision when the clock struck twelve, as he'd promised himself, overpowered anything and everything he could possibly feel in that moment.

Taeyong's face fell from the bright light of the moon, and his gaze landed upon Jaehyun standing across from him on the rooftop. Jaehyun was looking at him, softened now under the adorning light, and Taeyong's breath hitched, enraptured. He couldn't find the anger that had arisen within him that week, not anymore, because the sight of Jaehyun would always be his weakness — would always be the thing to make his heart clench and turn into brittle, unfixable pieces.

Taeyong distantly registered that they were on the tenth second before he'd be propelled into the new year and it'd have to be with or without Jaehyun there now — there could be no exceptions. Not this time around, not when he'd tried and tried, and failed and failed, only to once again pick up the pieces and try once more. And he didn't _want_ to keep trying, he wanted to look at himself, he wanted to pick up the pieces and _decide._ Was Jaehyun, the Alpha that he had loved for so long, worth it?

_Five._

Maybe he was, maybe he wasn't. Jaehyun wasn't perfect, Jaehyun wouldn't ever be, and Taeyong wouldn't be either.

_Four._

Taeyong thought he looked beautiful like this, kissed by the loving lips of the moonlight, casting a silver glow over the warmth of his eyes.

_Three._

Jaehyun had approached. He had stopped then, rooted in place. Jaehyun, for once, had decided to give it to him — _space._

_Two._

His own feet had made their way forward and he met Jaehyun half way. For once, he'd given just as much as he received. For once, Jaehyun had come to _him._ For once, Jaehyun slipped a hand in his and mouthed the word _sorry._ And for once, Taeyong realised this could be the beginning to their end.

_One._

Taeyong decided then in the faded screaming, the confetti, and the feel of an arm tugging his away to enjoy the night ahead of them, that he'd hold onto this love a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i write feelings really fucking dramatically to be honest, but there’s still a lot to look forward to. think of this chapter and the last as jointed because we’re heading into a new phase now. we also may have more chapters than originally anticipated but...  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	8. It Goes Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [this picture](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2011050710020115.jpeg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been _waiting _to write this chapter! That is all.__

January had always been the coldest of its brothers. Everyone believed it was December, but _no,_ January was truly the worst of them all — beautiful in the way it could deceive and make people think that Spring had come even when the flowers were still covered under a thin layer of crackable ice, and the outside air was coated in a sheen layer of white when you so much as huffed a breath. It was because of January's trickery that he had stepped out of the house with no jacket, a mistake that had caused him to rattle and shiver down deep within his bones.

But he didn't want to go back inside, if he entered, he'd have to leave again, and that would be another chorus of goodbyes, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave without crying a second time around.

Taeyong ran a tongue over his lips to moisturise them (doing nothing for him in the cold) and wheeled his bag out into the driveway. His parents were behind him, as was Donghyuck who had decided the night before that he'd stay for an impromptu sleepover. They'd spent the night gossiping and catching up, Donghyuck telling him of his plans to finish his last year of high school so that he too could attend SNU, and Taeyong had, in response, caught him up on everything — _almost_ everything.

There were things Donghyuck didn't need to know, and there were things the heavily laden weight of shame on his tongue could never allow him to say. Taeyong could now only rub away the nitty gritty evidence of the tiredness in his eyes. And despite Donghyuck acting like Taeyong being gone would somehow free up space and benefit him, the hug Taeyong was receiving now was just about the tightest he'd ever gotten in his life.

Taeyong let the Omega nestle in his arms, both their scents mixing with how long they’d spent together. When the walls of his personality were stripped down, it was clear that Donghyuck was just like him — though he didn't know how much of that was a good thing. Donghyuck pushed off him suddenly, lips curved into a frown.

"Stop pinching my bum, it hurts!" he whined. Donghyuck then pulled away and crossed his arms, kicking the imaginary rocks beneath his feet, "Fucking snitch."

"You got caught and grounded on your own, you baby," Taeyong snorted in response to Donghyuck's insinuation. Donghyuck _did_ eventually get in trouble for getting drunk during the New Year's party, and after he got grounded — which, in Donghyuck's words was ridiculous since he was eighteen _(eighteen, Yongs, eight-fucking-teen!)_ — he somehow managed to pin his punishment on Taeyong as if his cousin had anything to do with it at all.

"Tell it to the judge," Donghyuck answered with a scowl.

And before Taeyong could once again present his case to a dead-set jury, the sound of wheels grinding against the gravel driveway caught his attention. It was a red car coming up; sleek, smooth, and slender curves, new from the way it stunningly shone, and painted a beautiful bright red — there wasn't a scratch on it, Jaehyun wouldn't ever allow there to be one, and Taeyong wondered why he was always so attached to a clunk of machine — a gorgeous clunk of machine, but a clunk of machine nonetheless.

It was ridiculous, he knew, to harbour feelings akin to jealousy for such an inanimate object, but the way Jaehyun treated the car so delicately, feather light touches on its handles as he stepped out made him feel a little bit _bitter._ A small part of him could admit that the day he'd gotten annoyed at Jaehyun and slammed the car door shut, it was truly just to spite him — but those feelings were all in the past, though, and there they would stay there unless and until they ever got dug back up again.

Taeyong's father came up from behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Did you ask him to come pick you up?" Taeyong shook his head, _no,_ unable to dislodge the small, singular word from his voice box. He watched, stomach fluttering at the sight of Jaehyun approaching them, car keys twirling in his hand and glowing as he was bathed in the early morning sun. Taeyong straightened as he came closer, unconsciously holding unto his luggage bag just that little bit tighter.

"Hello father, mother," Jaehyun greeted with a bow, and Taeyong's parents smiled at him, though he could see that his Mother's was a bit unsure, if not forced. He would have reached out a hand to her, just to give her a reassuring squeeze, but the action may have been viewed as a little odd. Jaehyun turned then, "Tae, Donghyuckie."

"Since when were we on nickname basis?" Donghyuck scrunched his nose. Taeyong kicked his foot not-so-subtly, and Donghyuck plastered on a smile. "I mean, hello Jaehyunnie."

Jaehyun laughed, throwing back his head, and Taeyong felt the wires that had wrapped around and tightened his bones loosen a little. He hadn't noticed how stiff he had felt until now. "I thought you'd gone back already. I've already bought my train ticket—"

"Tae — and with all due respect mother and father," he said, sparing a barely apologetic glance at them, a frown etched into his otherwise soft features, "— why the fuck would I let you take the train when I'm right here? Did you really think I'd up and leave you here?"

If Taeyong didn't know any better, he would have thought that the last of Jaehyun's sentence was laced with hurt — it wasn't like that, though, not exactly. Taeyong bit his lip because _honestly_ he had expected the Alpha to have gone without him. He was used to it, he guessed, because the old Jaehyun was never one to wait. And maybe that's where he'd been going wrong — thinking this was the old Jaehyun.

"Young man," Mrs Lee's voice came unexpectedly, and Taeyong could tell that she was putting on the stern front because she was never one to scold — lenient is what she was, lenient and perhaps a bit _brave_ because she may have known the Alpha since he was to her knees, but her voice was unsteady as she spoke, "If he doesn't want to go with you, he doesn't have to."

And maybe she'd had enough of watching her son with him, but it was far too late for the sudden interest and parental control — he was an adult now, and besides, he'd fallen too deep to climb out of it so many years later. She should have said something earlier, a decade and a half ago.

There was a still pause as if everyone was watching, waiting, and then Taeyong cut in before things could take a weird or unexpected turn, "No! No, I— um, I want to go with him," he muttered sheepishly, cheeks warming despite the cold.

Mrs Lee eyed his son worriedly, lips curved into a frown, assessing the truth behind his words. Taeyong didn't have anything to hide in this aspect because he was being honest — he had wanted to just take Jaehyun by the hand and pull him away that instant, especially as the atmosphere around them had changed into something bordering uncomfortable. Donghyuck coughed awkwardly, Mr Lee stayed silent, and Jaehyun's voice pulled Mrs Lee's eyes away from her son;

"I would never force him to do anything. Never," he said firmly, reinforcing the fact.

His mother still looked skeptical, so Taeyong reached out a hand to give hers a reassuring squeeze, weird atmosphere be damned. His mother was worrying about the wrong thing, she must have been, because if Taeyong ever did something, it was usually out of his own volition and willingness to please — at least, that's how it _used_ to be. _Not anymore,_ Taeyong thought fleetingly, _no more of that._

Taeyong stepped out, pushing the bag in front of him, and giving the three members of his family present a soft, small smile. As they turned to leave, Jaehyun took his bag from him and held it firmly in his hold. Taeyong made to say something, but Jaehyun had beat him to it, sensing his humble rebuttal a mile away.

"No, let me carry it for you," Jaehyun said sternly. In all honesty, and without shame in the admittance, Taeyong would have argued about it if he didn't find Jaehyun's commanding voice so hot. He had weird taste in men, and if Doyoung were here, or if Doyoung was somehow telepathically snooping into his thoughts, he would have called him _kinky._ Taeyong's own mother looked like she had something to say about Jaehyun's tone but restrained herself from doing so, if only for her son's sake.

Taeyong speed-walked to the car, Jaehyun in tow, before Jaehyun could get any funny ideas like acting a gentleman and opening it for him which would be a sure fire way to send his heart into overdrive. It was the little things that made him fall that much deeper, and it was because Taeyong, himself, was a simple man — though he wouldn't exactly be opposed to an extravagant show of dinner, chocolates, and roses, but he was getting far ahead of himself. He needed to remind himself not to set up such expectations for the Alpha, because he may only end up disappointed. But still. He could hope.

Taeyong heard the boot of the car door shut softly before Jaehyun rounded the car and entered, running a hand through his hair and huffing a breath. "I shouldn't have cursed around your mother," Jaehyun said with a distant, thinking expression. There was a hint of something akin to regret in his words. "I think she hates me."

Taeyong clicked his tongue, smiling at his family through the window; Donghyuck was pouting, his father was waving, and his mother held unto his father with vice-like grip. "Maybe." _She'll warm up to you again,_ Taeyong omitted — she'd warm up to him because her son had. The love of a parent was a wonderful thing, it was just a shame that not everyone could experience it, and Jaehyun reminded him of that.

"I'm coming to visit you!" Donghyuck called out as the car took off from the rocks, voice surprisingly loud despite the distance — a perk of being a singer.

"Please don't," Taeyong mumbled to himself and was surprised to hear the chuckle that had come from beside him. Nowadays — or over the past two and a half weeks really — things with Jaehyun felt a lot less... _tense_. He could feel himself ease up a bit, no longer on edge about the Alpha doing or saying something unexpected. He was able to relax in that aspect, but others, not so much. Everything wasn't right in the world — _not yet._

Taeyong snuck a glance at the Alpha beside him, secretly trying to ogle the way he casually drove with one hand, destination clear in his mind. He wasn't materialistic, at least, he didn't necessarily think so, but following the veins that started from the bones of Jaehyun's fingers, down to his half-folded sleeve, he found the Rolex on Jaehyun's wrist attractive somehow — silver glinting and the light hitting just right. He saw Jaehyun flexing his arm suddenly, and his eyes zoomed up to Jaehyun's face.

"You know you could just openly admire me, right?" Jaehyun grinned, taking time off the road the spare a glance at the blushing Omega beside him. "I'm yours for the taking, Bubu."

"You have a big head," Taeyong said, turning away from him with a huff.

He rolled down the windows slightly in an effort to cool down his cheeks as Jaehyun let out an unabashed laugh from beside him. The Alpha had an ego too big for his own good, and here Taeyong was, only fueling it. He was waiting for the day it'd deflate, and he'd be left with nothing. On second thought, that was a bit mean. Or maybe not. He deserved it, in Taeyong's humble and chagrined opinion.

"It'd be a waste to look like this and not appreciate it, you know," Jaehyun added on, focusing back on the road, a teasing smile still plastered on his lips.

"I'd hardly call that appreciation," Taeyong muttered, crossing his arms like a child. The Alpha could give away a crumb of his confidence to everyone in the entire country yet still have some left to spare for the next.

Jaehyun reached a hand to his thigh, dimpled smile still evident in his voice when he spoke, "Take a nap, Tae."

And if Jaehyun had ever for a second thought Taeyong would be anything but wide awake with Jaehyun's hand on his thigh, he must have been severely mistaken. But after Jaehyun's display of egoism, he'd have to pretend that he was unaffected, if only for his own sake. He knew Jaehyun could see right through him, could tell how he had stiffened up at his mere touch, and he could probably even hear the way Taeyong's heart stuttered in his chest, and despite it, he let Taeyong be with no other comments, perhaps to spare him for further embarrassment.

Taeyong scrunched his nose at the thought, ignoring Jaehyun's advice to take a nap even though he was dead-tired, and pretended like he wasn't upset when Jaehyun took his hand away, instead opting to draw shapes on the cold, glass window — little hearts, a stickman, and even an unconsciously, a bunny, somehow remembering Doyoung. Doyoung would probably laugh at him for falling into one of Jaehyun's so called traps again, but if Taeyong chose to give him another chance, well, that was nobody's business but his, was it?

In spite of himself, Taeyong found himself relaxing back into the car chair, too tired to make conversation with lidded eyes and a heavy mouth. He was on the edge of sleep when his phone pinged and he perked up, blinking away the vestiges of sleep from his eyes. His phone was alight on his lap, and he felt his heart drop into his stomach when he read who it was from — _Johnny._ And it was just a text checking up on him, he knew, the same texts they had been sending back and forth to make sure the other was _okay._ But Jaehyun didn't know that, Jaehyun didn't know anything at all.

Taeyong's eyes flickered to the sight of Jaehyun's fingers clenching the steering wheels, knuckles lightening a shade in colour, before flickering back to Jaehyun's face which looked passive almost, if not for the slight, telltale clench of his jaw.

He found himself getting nervous with every passing second as he picked up his phone. He _hated_ this feeling — the feeling that he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. He hadn't felt like this since he was a child, stealing peanut butter and cookies from a jar, and somehow, it felt _worse_ now, almost. A situation like that was surrounded by innocence, and this was far too corrupt. Taeyong bit down on his bottom lip as he read the harmless text, heart drumming in his chest.

**Are you on the train yet?**  
**Need to know whether to get my ass cleaning or not yet lol.**

**I'm on my way home** , Taeyong typed before sneaking a glance at Jaehyun and adding, **Jaehyun's here in the car with me.** Johnny replied with a simple **oh** , leaving the conversation at that. And Taeyong didn't think Jaehyun would have anything to say, or spoken when he did, so the words that came next from the Alpha's lips beside him surprised him.

"Is that Minjae?"

Taeyong drew his face into a confused expression because it was obvious that Jaehyun had seen the owner of the text. Taeyong parted his lips slightly in realisation that Jaehyun was lying on purpose. Why was he lying on purpose? Was it to distract himself and save himself from otherwise inevitable anger? Was Jaehyun pulling in the reigns of his jealousy and taking a step back for once? What exactly was it?

Taeyong didn't have time to ponder, and it was easier to change the subject. "You know him?"

"He was in our year," Jaehyun replied simply, casual in the way he carried himself, as if his tenseness from a mere moment ago was a figment of Taeyong's overactive imagination. And somehow, too, it was _funny_ , Taeyong thought, how Jaehyun had known him but he, himself, hadn't. The Beta from the party had given him his number actually, but Taeyong hadn't written it down. The thought made him feel a bit mean, and he shifted in his seat, squirming slightly. There would have been no real point in keeping it anyways — Minjae wasn't the one he wanted.

"I don't really remember him," Taeyong mumbled, lips wet from biting them.

To see Jaehyun so collected kept _him_ on the edge of his seat. He felt like the Alpha should have been angry, like any other person would after sleeping with their best friend twice — ex best friend or not. Rationally, Taeyong knew that he could sleep with anybody and everybody if he wanted to, but the fact that it was Johnny made it feel more... _immoral._ Though, it also begged the question, would he still have been feeling like this if it were anybody else but said Alpha? He hoped not. _He hoped._

Taeyong leaned back in his chair, hearing a sigh from the Jaehyun, followed by the soft murmuring of a, _"Fall back asleep, Bubu."_

And this time, he complied.

It must have been early afternoon by the time they arrived since the drive took hours, even on train — but it was mid afternoon when he was woken up from his long winded nap, and the realisation made him wake up almost immediately, that coupled with the fact that there was the sound of an alarm cawing in his ear and making him feel strangled.

When he shot up, Jaehyun was there grinning from ear to ear like the absolute menace Taeyong had always believed he was, and he turned off the blaring alarm that he had put at Taeyong's ear with one swift tap. Taeyong scowled at him, swatting Jaehyun away from him with an arm, the Alpha laughing boisterously in response. "Don't wake me up like that! _God,_ you were about to give me a heart attack."

Jaehyun's laughter was barely dying. "At least you'd die in my arms."

"That's not romantic, it's just morbid," Taeyong said flatly, denying the fact that his words did in fact make Taeyong's stomach swoop.

Glancing around, and still slightly disorientated, he noticed that they were parked right outside Johnny's apartment complex. Taeyong couldn't ever recall telling the Alpha where he lived — but it'd been obvious, somehow, because even if Johnny's occasional scent on him wasn't enough, Jaehyun must have _known._

Taeyong turned to him suddenly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Were you watching me sleep?" Jaehyun wiggled his brows playfully and Taeyong scrunched his nose. _"Creep,"_ Taeyong added with a shiver as if the thought gave him the heebie jeebies, when it did the exact opposite — the thought that Jaehyun had left him to sleep for hours, waiting in the hot car, just _watching him_ made him feel weird. A good type of weird. He didn't know if that was odd or not. "You seriously set that alarm when you could've, just like, shaken me up?!"

"Nah," Jaehyun teased, "I already had this alarm set to remind me to eat—" And before Taeyong could surely get worried at the idea of Jaehyun skipping meals, he added, "—Coach is making us go on a timetable diet. Strict as fuck."

Taeyong nodded, thoughtful. Alright. But the car was warm, and he felt a bit sticky, so he had wanted to open the door to go outside for some fresh air and to stretch away the tiredness that weighed heavily in his body. Maybe he and Jaehyun could move their conversation outside before he'd force the Alpha to let him carry his bags up himself (the answer most definitely would have been _no._ ) But suddenly, Jaehyun grabbed his hand as Taeyong moved to leave, hand already on the car door handle.

"Move in with me."

Taeyong stilled, shellshocked.

What he said wasn't a spur of the moment decision, it wasn't a command, nor was it some sort of joke — it was an _honest_ offer, and not once in Taeyong's life had he seen the look in Jaehyun's eyes; like he was _begging_. It was unlike him, it was unnerving... and it made his heart squeeze in his chest, drained of blood, only to be filled with guilt seeping in through the cracks.

"Jaehyun... at least, take me out to dinner first," he joked weakly, if only to get the Alpha out of his space so as to breathe — so as to _think._ He understood the request, he truly did, and he'd imagined what it'd be like to live with Jaehyun before, to be a permanent resident in his home and heart... but not like this. Not when it was, deep down and undoubtedly, fueled by jealousy. Those weren't terms Taeyong would ever be interested in. But at the same time, he _understood_ — he knew why Jaehyun had asked him that now in front of Johnny's place, and he couldn't help the guilt that overtook him.

Jaehyun pulled back, running a hand through his hair. "Right, flowers, rings, all that jazz." Jaehyun paused before throwing his head back and letting out a wry laugh. "What the fuck was I thinking? Fuck, Tae, we're not even dating."

Taeyong's face fell, heart caged in regret. They'd brought this upon themselves somehow, and it was no wonder they had ended up like this. The words flowed out before he could register them or even think to stop them — though, when they came, he was glad he asked. "Do you like me?"

Jaehyun paused to look at Taeyong sharply, eyes hard. "Of course I do. You know I do." He hadn't liked Taeyong's question, but it was something that needed to be asked, on Taeyong's end at the very least. It gave him some form of intangible reassurance.

"You... you've never actually said it," Taeyong said, breathing out softly. He stared down at his lap to avoid Jaehyun's analysing gaze.

Jaehyun stopped to think _hard._ No... no, he never had. Not once, not _ever_ had he done something like that. Not as a child, not as a teenager, not even now, when they were facing the early beginnings of adulthood. He'd never once told Taeyong he'd liked him. He thought he'd shown it with his touches, with the double meanings behind his words, with the way his eyes softened and his scent sweetened whenever Taeyong so much as stepped into the room and thus into his line of sight. Wow.

But Taeyong must have known, right? Jaehyun had always made it obvious.

Jaehyun grabbed his hands with one of his once more, the other being used to lift Taeyong's chin up and level his gaze so that Taeyong met and saw the seriousness clouding his eyes and taking over his expression. "You know that I like you. I'll _show_ you that I like you." A thumb caressed Taeyong's lips and he looked away, breath caught in his throat.

Jaehyun's hand fell. "Come, let's go."

And before he could move away completely, Taeyong's hand captured his to give it a reassuring squeeze as if to say _I like you too._ It wasn't a secret, he just couldn't find the words — heart reverberating in his ears, now feeling so high and elated that he felt that he could and _would_ explode. Jaehyun's tense expression didn't lift, but he laced his fingers with Taeyong's and squeezed right back.

The car door opened then, Jaehyun leaving to get Taeyong's luggage from the boot. Taeyong sat, rooted in his seat, unable to move for some moments — minutes maybe. Jaehyun didn't call him out for it. When he finally exited the car, however, he felt somewhat lighter. Happier. But dreading. There was dread in his stomach as he looked between his current destination and the Alpha that had asked him to _move in_ right in front of him.

To Taeyong's surprise, Jaehyun let him take his bags himself and stayed in place when Taeyong told him he'd be fine going up alone. Jaehyun simply bid him his goodbyes, placed a tender kiss on his forehead and made to leave. He was _compliant._

The sight felt bittersweet.

"Oh hey, you're home," Johnny said as he wheeled in his luggage.

Taeyong watched as the Alpha rounded the kitchen table and walked over to take his bags — no complaints from him, he was tired of carrying them. A part of him had not-so-subtly wished for Jaehyun to have actually taken them despite his feeble protests. Perhaps he wasn't ready to come upstairs and face the door of a best friend he hadn't spoken to in years, and Taeyong couldn't fault him for that, Jaehyun was human after all.

Taeyong stretched and cracked his back (he'd been sitting in that damn car too long) when Johnny took his bags to his room for him. He walked over to the kitchen, feeling the stiffness leave from him, and peered around. He was pleasantly surprised at how clean it was — cleaner than he'd left it even. Johnny must've spent a long time tidying up for how overly neat it was, but Taeyong suspected the root of it was really to keep his hands busy — being left alone to stir in your thoughts was a dangerous thing, and Taeyong had left the Alpha alone for a while. Johnny had been on his own for a long, long time.

"You made me hot chocolate?" Taeyong queried, astonished. The drink must have been cold now, lukewarm at best, but it was the thought that counted. He smiled down at the marshmallows inside. "You really know how to woo a girl."

Johnny huffed a breath, now done with all the heavy lifting. "Yeah, why not? We didn't get to have an at home Christmas party. I got you something actually, did a little bit of Christmas shopping."

Taeyong blinked up at the Alpha, following him with his eyes. Johnny sat down at the kitchen table first before ushering Taeyong to take a seat in front of him with his hands. Taeyong jutted out a lip but complied nevertheless, curious as to what he'd be receiving, because as he got older, his gifts got a lot less... exciting — his mother, for example, had gifted him, among other things, _socks._ Though, that gift didn't quite elicit the same curiosity and tame excitement as Johnny's did for him now. He couldn't help but feel bad, too, because he hadn't gotten a gift for him in return. Where had his manners gone?

"Don't worry about getting me something," Johnny said, as if reading his thoughts — it was most likely revealed in Taeyong's expression, he was far too easy to read. "I got something for _everyone._ Just.. you're the first person I could give theirs to.... Here."

Johnny took the gift from his back pocket and slid it over to Taeyong on the other side. Taeyong peered down at the small, square box, beautifully wrapped in red wrapping paper with evergreen trees, and there was a bow on top, white and sparkly. Taeyong couldn't help but smile at it. It looked much too professional to have been done by the Alpha himself. He gasped softly when he opened it up — a bracelet; silver, thin, dainty, undoubtedly _expensive_.

"You got this for _me?_ " Taeyong questioned, amazed.

It was beautiful — similar to the one he'd gotten from his Grandma, but elegant. He couldn't help but feel like it was wrong to take it, somehow, but it was a gift from a friend, and he had the inkling that a rejection would hurt the Alpha past surface level. It wasn't a courting item, and it wasn't a symbol of any sort of relationship — it was a _gift,_ and he'd accept it as such.

And in spite of himself, Taeyong couldn't help to ask, "Have you spoken to Doyoung?" It was more of a blurt than anything, and he partially regretted it with the way Johnny's smile fell, but he wouldn't be able to completely accept it without thinking about Doyoung's reaction. Would Doyoung be upset about such trivial things? Jaehyun, without a shadow of a doubt, would. But this wasn't about him.

Johnny ran a finger over the polished wood of the table. "No."

The pain in that sole word made Taeyong wince. Johnny had made a mistake, they _both_ had, and Doyoung wasn't as forgiving as Taeyong, there was an unspoken understanding that they both knew that. Johnny looked up, "I did get him gifts.. courting gifts. A necklace and a bracelet similar to yours, but in a style I thought he'd like. I'll show it to you later and you can tell me whether you think he'd like it."

Taeyong nodded simply, silently, understandingly — they're was no guarantee that Doyoung would take it, but he was _trying._ Taeyong wished Doyoung could see it, to have an Alpha care for you so openly and lovingly was all that Taeyong had ever wished for. Taeyong was too simple of a man.

Johnny stood, pushing himself away from the table with a forced grin, and Taeyong smiled back up at him. "Come," Johnny started, "let me show you what I bought for him."

Classes had started up again the next week, and Taeyong couldn't say he missed it. He was fond of some of his lecturers, he liked the friendly acquaintances that would smile at him when he entered the lecture hall, and he enjoyed the strenuous routine of cheer practices. All of these things and more had made up his university experience so far, it was more than he could ever wish for, and despite that, in its entirety, he couldn't help but feel like something was _missing_ — a puzzle piece out of place maybe, or a hole in one of his paintings — a missing face, a blurry picture. It was unclear.

Until it wasn't. He knew exactly what he had lost.

"Isn't that Doyoung?" Ten inquired thoughtfully from beside him.

Cheer practice was over and they were walking out of the building, books in their arms — books in _Taeyong's_ arms. He had offered to carry them because Ten had done one too many handstands. "Look, he just walked past us, no hi or nothing!" Taeyong's eyes followed the Beta from across the hall — they had met gazes, or maybe they hadn't. Taeyong had the inclination to pretend. "I wonder if he's mad at me," Ten added as an afterthought.

Taeyong nodded at nothing wordlessly. It wasn't Ten that Doyoung was mad at — it was him.

Taeyong encountered Doyoung face to face far sooner than he thought he would've. He had expected it the least when it came — a phone call — because Doyoung was usually the type to approach matters and resolve issues face to face. That being said, that didn't stop him from scrambling to pick up his phone that he'd previously thrown carelessly on the bed. It was the fear that Doyoung would ring for a moment then drop it again and then wouldn't answer when Taeyong would re-call. Taeyong swore he'd never moved so fast in his life, boring lecture notes be damned.

"Hello?" Taeyong greeted, unsure, hopeful, and praying that Doyoung couldn't hear his unnecessarily heavy breathing. For someone in the cheer team, he was embarrassingly out of shape.

"Hey, Tae—" Taeyong practically preened at the casual nickname, but Doyoung, in some way, sounded stressed. He forced himself to concentrate on whatever matter was at hand, putting on his signature worried expression, even though Doyoung couldn't see him. "Could you come over? Sicheng's here bawling his eyes out over that stupid fucking— _see,_ I can't even find it in me to be comforting. The point is, they broke up, him and Yuta, and while I want to throw a party about it, he's sitting here crying. I'd usually be fine with these things on my own but... I think he'd appreciate someone a little less... _biased._ "

Taeyong's eyes widened; for all the things Doyoung could have called him for, he didn't expect _that_ to be it. He'd forgotten about Sicheng even, too busy dealing with his own things to remember the Beta and his sleazy Alpha-posing boyfriend — he'd deleted that entire memory _on purpose,_ from when they came in to the café to when he went out. It was better for him that way. But now it was being brought back up again and in the worst way. He was fine with helping, of course, because Taeyong, more than anyone, knew what it was like to cry oceans for someone who didn't deserve a drop of his tears.

Taeyong steadied himself, "I'm on my way." He then moved to grab his jacket and shoes.

There was a pause on the line, unnoticeable, yet large, so prominently and evidently there. "Thank you."

The trek to the university's dorms wasn't so bad when he was in too much of a rush to worry about how much his feet hurt. Johnny would usually drive him to campus in the mornings for both of their classes, but now, for obvious and needlessly spoken reasons, he didn't. It was fine. The rush there knocked his breath away, and in turn, his thoughts, and he was panting by the time he'd gotten to Doyoung's dorm room.

He had stopped to breathe properly for a moment or two before knocking, but the door to the room was opened before he could stop it — he couldn't even if he tried, for Doyoung standing at the door with a pinched expression and deep set brows was undoubtedly a scary thing. Taeyong straightened himself up from all the huffing and puffing and smiled at the Beta, large and warm, incredibly happy to see him. Doyoung didn't reciprocate.

"Come in," Doyoung huffed, urging Taeyong to hurry up and get inside. Taeyong blinked, collected himself, then entered from out the hallway. Doyoung's place hadn't changed one bit, and he hadn't expected it to either. He couldn't smell Sicheng, but his cries were telling enough. "He's in his room, and I've _tried,_ but he won't stop crying. I don't know what it is."

Taeyong nodded.

He didn't know if his presence was needed, or even the best idea considering the fact that the last time he met Sicheng, the Beta had been... hostile even. Or maybe he'd misunderstood. Perhaps not hostile — but quiet, odd, standoffish, but not in a way that was meant to come off as truly _mean._ He was boxed off, but now his exterior had a large gap. And Taeyong would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit afraid of having to try to get him to relax. The world had shifted under his feet — he was the one doing the comforting now, when so many times, with so many people, it had been the other way around.

"Thank you, T." Doyoung smiled gratefully. "I'll be waiting here. If it's too hard, you can quit, it's fine. Maybe he just needs to cry it out of his system," he sighed, exasperated. He then made his way over to the kitchen. "Let me make you some tea—"

"Earl Grey," Taeyong added quickly, and Doyoung turned, amusement rather than surprise in his eyes. Taeyong twiddled his thumbs. "Earl Grey, _please_." Doyoung's favourite, and by default, his.

Doyoung turned back, the quirk of his lips hidden now, so Taeyong's couldn't see his grin. "Alright, Earl Grey it is."

Taeyong watched as Doyoung busied himself in the kitchen, humming as if there wasn't someone in the room next door bawling their eyes out. Taeyong couldn't even, for the life of him, tell if Doyoung was still mad at him or not — he was brilliant at hiding it if so. Taeyong chose to think that it was the second case, if only to settle his nerves and give himself peace while he was in their home. And besides, he had more important things to do, like comfort the Beta who was crying as if he'd been widowed in this life and the next.

Taeyong found himself approaching the door tentatively, though Sicheng had most _definitely_ smelt him from the moment he came through the front door. And Sicheng, as a Beta, possessed no scent, but Taeyong was sure if he had one, it would have soured, if the spiteful expression on his face was anything to go by when Taeyong finally entered the room. He had to balance himself so as not to take the tempting offer of leaving before it even began.

He could do this.

"Sicheng... Hi," Taeyong spoke softly, as if any louder, the Beta would break down again. And he was still crying now, but the comforting pheromones Taeyong had purposefully put out had made them sombre. Sicheng was sitting on the edge of his bed, head lifted out of his hands, and eyes bloodshot red. Taeyong thought he looked beautiful like this, in an inexplicably raw way — far too beautiful to cry for someone like that, far too beautiful to waste his tears in the confines of his room for someone like that, and far too bright to allow someone like that to dim the stars and moon that hung in his eyes.

"Hi," Sicheng answered back tiredly — a little bit bitter, but not enough to scare Taeyong off.

Sicheng didn't protest as Taeyong moved forward, so Taeyong didn't stop, not until he was seated right beside the Beta himself. He didn't ask to touch him, but Sicheng, once again, said nothing as Taeyong tucked a loose strand of fallen hair behind his ears. "I heard what happened, I'm sorry," he mumbled softly. Sicheng turned away from him with downcast eyes, flooded with salty, bitter tears.

"Can you..." Sicheng started more quietly this time whilst Taeyong waited patiently, eagerly, and just as silently, "..can you hold me, please? I just wanted to be held. Please." Taeyong obliged, wordlessly scooting over even closer. He sweetened his scent and shifted so that one of his arms were on Sicheng's back, rubbing soothing circles, and the Beta's head was on his shoulder, and his other hand carded Sicheng's hair. Sicheng shut his eyes, "I'm sorry if this is weird... we barely know each other. I just.."

"It's fine," Taeyong reassured in a whisper. He understood, so Sicheng didn't need to explain himself. Sometimes comfort from strangers felt better, healed better, worked better — people who didn't know you couldn't hold any bias, they couldn't silently judge you for your tears, they couldn't do anything but listen, touch, and reassure you even if they knew nothing about the situation. It was better that way for some people, Taeyong thought, and Sicheng was one of them.

"I know I'm better off, I know it, I've known it for so long — everyone's told me time and time again," Sicheng started again, unprovoked. Taeyong continued to rub circles on his back, making even his breathing as silent as possible so the Beta could spill his heart out without needless interruption. "Doyoung's told me. My other friends have to.. I know all this, I _know_." Sicheng's voice started to waver at the end and Taeyong's could tell that he was beginning to cry again — low, muffled, heartbroken, still there. The pain wouldn't go away today.

"I don't know what I'm crying for.. the memories of him, or the memories of the person I was before him."

Taeyong shut his eyes, breathing out. The words sunk deep into him, resonated in his heart — it hit home, to an extent. It wasn't him, but he felt Sicheng's pain so strongly that he, himself, felt the overwhelming urge to cry.

"Sometimes..." Taeyong started, unsure of his words, only hoping and praying Sicheng would understand what he meant, "Sometimes things like that are blessings in disguise. You'll look back and see that... that you never needed him in the first place." Taeyong used a thumb to wipe the tears away from Sicheng's eyes as he sniffled into Taeyong's shoulder, "No more tears because you didn't lose him, he lost _you_."

Silence fell on them again for a few minutes, and they revelled in it, before Taeyong spoke up. "Would you like... proper help?" Taeyong suggested carefully, referring to something more professional than Taeyong's broken words and a dimly lit bedroom.

"No," Sicheng said, finally lifting his head up to turn to him. Taeyong's heart clenched at the sight of his bloodshot eyes. "I'll get over him... I'll get over him," He repeated more certainly the second time, as certain as someone with a shaky voice, trembling lips, and quivering hands ever could. "I just need time," he went on so quietly that Taeyong almost didn't catch it.

Taeyong nodded, not pressing on it further. Maybe Sicheng would change his mind on it. Maybe he wouldn't — that was fine too. Sicheng's hand found its way on his and he left it there. "I think... I think I should take a walk."

Fresh air would do him good, Taeyong agreed in his head. He squeezed the Beta's hand, "Let's go."

"By myself... I think. Please," Sicheng went on. Taeyong faced him, face pulled into a worried expression, words of protest on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out — he didn't, though, because at the end of the day, he was still a mere stranger, and he had a feeling that Sicheng would be happier if he didn't press it. He wasn't like Doyoung after all, and that was why Doyoung had called him over in the first place. And so, Taeyong nodded, giving his hand one final reassuring, airy, word-filled squeeze.

"Go on."

It was strange, Taeyong thought, eye opening too, watching someone else cry and for the same reason he had. It put things into perspective, made him think twice about all the times he'd done so. Crying was healthy, it was, but it wasn't necessarily always good — not now at least. It made his heart tighten, the sight of Sicheng walking away from him with dried tears — his heart panged in pain for Sicheng and for himself, because at the end of the day, they were one in the same, and their tears were wasted because it wasn't worth it — and when looking back, Sicheng would see that too someday.

Taeyong made his way out of the room quietly after he watched Sicheng leave, now deciding to head for the door until his presence was wanted again. He could wait for Doyoung for another few days, or weeks, or whenever Doyoung wanted because Doyoung was his first friend and he wasn't ready to let go of that.

"Where do you think you're going, mister?" Doyoung's voice came faux-sternly from the kitchen. "You just got here."

Being with Sicheng had unexplainably made him upset, but seeing Doyoung's amused face in the kitchen made his heart pick itself up again. "I thought you were still mad at me?" Taeyong's face fell — he had truly believed it too because Doyoung hadn't even offered him a _hi_ when he'd come in. He thought that that was telling of Doyoung's feelings enough. Doyoung hadn't called him here for him, he'd had a purpose with coming here to Doyoung's apartment.

Said Beta sighed and walked out of the open kitchen area with a mug in hand — bunny ears on it. He pursed his lips, requesting for Taeyong to take a seat, and Taeyong unconsciously obliged. Doyoung may have not possessed any sort of Alpha voice, but his presence was commanding enough. Doyoung then shoved the drink into his hand, forcing him to take it, before asking, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing."

And it was true — Taeyong hadn't done anything, Sicheng had helped himself by himself. He was a mere bystander, and it was a privilege that Sicheng — in some twisted, vague, and unrealistic sense — trusted him. At least, trusted him enough to do that. Doyoung raised a brow as if interested for more but didn't pry. He lived with the other Beta, Taeyong was sure he'd get the information himself later.

And before Taeyong could even think to stop himself, he blurted, "I thought you hated me?"

Doyoung's face soured. "What the fuck?" Upon seeing Taeyong's restless and worried expression, he pinched the bridge of his nose, tilted his head, and sighed before speaking. "I didn't want to harbour some resentment against you and let it fester until I snapped, which I _knew_ would happen," Doyoung went on, "I just needed to get it all out." And he waved about a hand casually as if airing out all of his previous bad feelings. "I could never be mad at you for that, Yongs."

Taeyong pouted. "You should be."

Doyoung grinned at him before leaning forward to pinch his cheeks. "Not when you look like that."

"I know," Taeyong said happily, relief flooding his body at the missed action — his cheeks may have hurt from Doyoung's astounding strength, but it meant one thing for certain; they were friends again. He was in Doyoung's good books, and half of the guilt that had clawed away at his insides for the past month melted away, leaving him light. But that was only _half_ though. There was another part to be addressed. Not yet. Not quite yet.

"I get it all the time. People just want me for my good looks at this point, it gets tiring." Taeyong threw his head back in faked exasperation.

Doyoung let out a rambunctious laugh, gummy teeth and smile taking over. "I leave you alone for _one month_ and you grow a massive ego. What happened to happy, humble, shy? Careful there, you little devil."

"Jaehyun's been rubbing off on me." Taeyong grinned.

Doyoung paused his laughter, making it fade slowly. Taeyong feared he had said something wrong. "Jaehyun? Jung Jaehyun? The jock? The asshole? The dumbass?" Taeyong shoved his foot at that, and Doyoung pulled a face, unimpressed. "Unless there's another Jaehyun I don't know of, your ass better start spilling the beans."

And so, Taeyong did.

It was like there was a piece of heavy weight lifted from his soul as the words flowed out — brick by brick, word by word, piece by piece. He couldn't control it when it started, not that it was something he wanted to do, not when Doyoung was here, now, right in front of him, with the lingering promise of never leaving him again. The switch had turned on, the words had rushed out, incoherent almost, and he told Doyoung practically _everything_ — even the part about Johnny giving him the bracelet, spilling the beans by telling him Johnny had gotten gifts for him too (to which Doyoung snorted, _fuck no_ ).

Doyoung took it all in, not once interrupting, the only change in demeanour being his facial expressions — it ranged, too, from happy, saddened, equally heartbroken even, to surprised, and even unsurprised, because he had known it even then; Taeyong would always go back to him. "So you're really giving him another chance, huh?" Doyoung clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"Yeah." Taeyong smiled at him then, turning away to place the mug to his lips — Earl Grey. He'd missed it. "But I never said I'd make it easy.”

Taeyong couldn't remember feeling like this for a long time, so relaxed and carefree — he'd had tension sitting in his bones for so long, unknown that so much of it had been there in the first place until the knots in his muscles had unwound. He couldn't remember the last time he painted, and he missed it — the feeling of a splintered wooden brush between his fingertips, and the flecks of drying paint on his hands. Painting was cathartic in a different way than talking was, because there were always emotions that couldn't be spoken aloud for the fear they brought along with them, or just simply not being able to find the words.

This, though, was easy. Simple. Straightforward. _Soothing._

"And then Jeno exploded and everyone died, the end."

Taeyong hummed languidly in response, and Donghyuck groaned on the other line of the phone, frustrated. "Tae? Hello? Are you even fucking listening to me at all?" Donghyuck whined in agitation. "Hello? _Bubu?"_

Taeyong hummed again, lips parting in distant realisation that someone was now addressing him. He looked away from the easel and canvas in front of him to the phone that laid on the table of paints. Donghyuck's face was practically pressed against the screen, face drawn in and sharp at the edges with annoyance. Once he saw that Taeyong was now paying attention to him, he scoffed, "Oh, so _that_ name does it for you, huh?"

He could feel the beginnings of a blush snake its up from under his loose shirt and coat the apples of his cheeks, and he cleared his throat. He took one last look at what he had done so far — an abstract picture of nothing in particular, more so a myriad of variant shades of primary and secondary colour hues — before putting down his brush dipped in cherry red, accompanied by his palette, and picking up the video call.

"Sorry, I was distracted," he answered Donghyuck, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Mhm, it only took me calling your name, what? Fifty times, twenty minutes, ten lightyears, for me to get your attention? I've been _saying,_ " Donghyuck started up again, but halted his words when he saw the apologetic pout on his older cousin's face. "I hate when you do that shit! It's so fucking cute— wait, are you even paying attention to me anymore _again?_ " Donghyuck wailed and Taeyong would be nothing but a liar if he said that he actually was. Something else had come up on his phone that had called for his attention.

"Wait, Hyuck, give me a second, Doyoung's calling me right now," Taeyong said, furrowing his brows at the way Doyoung persistently kept calling even though he'd sent one of those automatic texts to call him back later. Doyoung wasn't letting up, and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Doyoung was generally a busy person, and never that persistent because he didn't like what he called _'that whole look of desperation'._ Two different shaped peas in a pod is what they were because Taeyong couldn't exactly relate. He didn't possess such pride.

"Tae," Donghyuck whined, "Don't cut it. I was telling you something important—" Taeyong wasn't listening to the river of letters and words coming from Donghyuck's mouth because Doyoung had texted him: **Urgent! Come to the field now! Like, now.** "Taeyong, I swear to God, don't you _dare_ cut the damn—"

Taeyong smiled apologetically. "Sorry, I'll call you back later."

He, himself, winced at how abruptly he cut the call — Donghyuck was in the middle of raining down a hoard of overly pissed off expletives on him before he'd shut him down. He felt bad, truly, for zoning out earlier and for ignoring him like that a second time, but Doyoung's text messages had made him feel queasy from unease. Aided by the fact that Doyoung didn't pick up despite the numerous call-back attempts Taeyong performed, he could only fear for the worst.

Taeyong rushed around his room looking for his socks, his shoes, his phone (his phone was in his damn _hand_ ), and finally, his jacket, because the January weather could fool him once but not twice. Never would he play the fool for a second time. Those were all the important things he gathered, and the thought of Doyoung waiting for him, hurt, on his knees, maybe in a pool of his own blood — (his mind had a flair for dramatics) — made him buzz in restless anticipation. He had barely remembered to grab his keys to lock the door and call out a goodbye to Johnny before he left.

And it was odd, the back of his mind registered, the thought pushed behind a barrage of other ones, because if Johnny was home he would always, without a shadow of doubt, call out a goodbye right back.

Taeyong slipped in his keys and locked the door. This wasn't about Johnny.

Taeyong glanced down at his phone for the time for the millionth time, checking for any texts from Doyoung on his way there. It felt awfully familiar, the run to meet Doyoung again so as not to let the Beta slip right through his fingertips, and the feeling that broiling low in his stomach — dark, unsettled, weighted; _dread_. It was dread, or at least, something similar to it. It curled around his feet with every step he took, travelled down bitterly in his throat with every inhalation he performed, and made its home in the pits of his stomach and heart, sitting and waiting there.

Waiting for what? That was what Taeyong didn't know. That was what Taeyong was _afraid_ to know. But there was something terribly wrong somewhere, or with him, and he had wracked his brain for answers that never came.

He clicked his nails up and under against each other nervously as he sped-walked to his school grounds — the field where Doyoung had asked to meet him, and the area where he had his cheer practice. And it was odd in that sense, because no matter how much he looked at it, what was Doyoung doing _there_ of all places? Doyoung wasn't into any sort of sports, be it football, cheer, or anything that involved slight strain on his body. And so, the fact that Taeyong had zero idea of what could possibly be happening only made him worry more.

The sight of a small crowd did too — or their voices, actually, from afar, because he couldn't see what was going on, he wasn't close enough yet. He was just outside one of the buildings that led to the open field when he finally caught sight of Doyoung. The Beta was standing there with his arms crossed, waiting in the cold with an indecipherable, yet somewhat stressed expression. Taeyong felt himself slowing down as Doyoung came towards him, seemingly intact from head to toe. He could see that Doyoung wasn't hurt or in any sort of danger.

Good.

"Thank _God,_ you had me so sca—"

Taeyong had only just begun speaking when Doyoung licked a stripe down his thumb, and before Taeyong could even _think_ of squirming away, rubbed it over a patch on Taeyong's cheek. Taeyong wriggled free afterwards, scrunching his nose, and Doyoung's stern expression didn't falter. "You had some paint on your face." Doyoung reached for his hair next before pausing in mid-air. "That can pass as dye."

"Why did you call me here?" Taeyong interrupted, eyebrows pulled down in tiredness and confusion.

He wasn't mad at Doyoung for calling him and making a big deal out of seemingly nothing — not for anything like that, because with all things considered, he didn't feel like he had the right to — but what he couldn't possibly do was begin to _understand_. And Taeyong didn't think the strained expression on Doyoung's face could worsen until it did, the Beta rubbing his forehead as if he had some sort of migraine.

"Alphas," he answered as if that would ever give Taeyong enough context, "stupid fucking Alphas." Doyoung pursed his lips and nodded his head in the direction of open pitch.

Taeyong paused, soaking in Doyoung's words. "On the field? Like, there are Alphas on the field? I don't get—"

The chorus of shouts made him cease mid sentence, wrinkling his brows at the sound. Doyoung sighed and motioned for Taeyong to follow him. He felt uneasy the closer they went towards the noise, once echoed noise now growing louder and louder in his ears, ringing, and making every nerve fiber in his being rise to attention. He saw it then, what the small crowd had gathered around, the sole reason Doyoung had called him there. It was slow just as it was fast— the realisation, and the feeling of the world grinding to a halt beneath his feet.

Taeyong opened his mouth to speak but found himself at a loss for words — he was as terrified as he was surprised because there were the Alphas in question rolling around the grass, playing a tug of war of some sorts with their bodies, not caring how dirty they got themselves because anger — that familiar, volatile emotion — was blinding in situations like these. Taeyong could only sit back and watch as the anger filled their beings and controlled their actions.

But it was one-sided, it _had_ to be, because Johnny wasn't putting nearly as much energy as he was, anyone paying any sort of attention could see it. Jaehyun must've noticed it too, that Johnny wasn't giving nearly as much fight as he was, and that only made him all the more enraged, rage-filled with the way he pulled Johnny up from under him by the collar. There was another crack of fist before Taeyong, gasped, stepping forward.

Doyoung grabbed his arm. "Where are you going?" he hissed. "You can't try and break that up. You _know_ why they're fighting."

Taeyong clenched his fists. He wasn't going to try and break them up, he wasn't _stupid_ — and he'd seen it before, Omegas and Beta's alike trying to break up their Alpha boyfriend's fights in petty cases of pride and jealousy, only to get hurt by their boyfriend's themselves when they were too caught up in the moment to differentiate their targets. He was dating neither of them, but to sit back and watch it happen... _fuck._

He didn't know what to do.

He hadn't imagined for everything to go down like this — not at all all. He'd conjured the scenario in his mind an uncountable number of times when he was too sick with guilt at night to even begin to try and fall asleep. And in every scenario — in each and every scenario — none of it happened like this; not with punches, not with wrestling, not with goddamn _blood._ He was helpless at the sight.

"Fight back you fucking coward," Jaehyun roared, and the sound was enough to send chills down even the the most frigid of spines.

Doyoung's arm had let go of him, well aware that Taeyong was going nowhere until the Alphas fought it out themselves. He, too, was a bystander, and he could only sit back and watch. Taeyong took a glance at him — the look on Doyoung's face couldn't be described, lips pursed, eyes hard and soft all at the same time, barely breathing, and too focused on the sight in front of him.

Taeyong bit down the inside of his cheek _hard._ So hard that it drew blood. He couldn't stand it; with every blow Jaehyun delivered to the Alpha below him, fists so tightly wound together that they had turned ivory white. And the sight was familiar because he'd seen Jaehyun get into fights, the Alpha hadn't been perfect in highschool, but this was different; those other Alphas _defended_ themselves — whether they won or lost, they defended themselves.

This... this was just an unfair fight.

 _"Stop!"_ Taeyong yelled when he couldn't take it anymore, heart beating so fast that it threatened to tear through the skin of his lungs and the bones of his ribcage. He had screamed the word when Jaehyun's hand was about to come down on Johnny once more, sure to deliver that final, damning blow. And he hadn't expected them to listen to or hear him, but his voice had came out louder than he had expected, screeching Jaehyun's tightly wound fist to a halt, and making the small, goading crowd turn to face him. Doyoung, on the other hand, stayed silent.

"S-stop this!" He hated how his voice come out so hoarse.

Jaehyun turned then, locking eyes with him, and Taeyong visibly _flinched._ The look on the Alpha's face was enough to send a dead man another six feet under, and Taeyong could only wish, in that moment, that he was dead and that hadn't called them out at all — that he hadn't even come here, that he was at home now, listening to Donghyuck ramble and painting his stresses away. But he wasn't, and he had brought this upon himself in the end.

Jaehyun's scent was like acid in his nose and in his lungs, making it hard to breathe, hard to watch, hard to _think._ Yes, his next actions must have been unthinking because he promised himself he wouldn't do it, he made that promise as soon as Doyoung had grabbed his arm — before it even — and yet, Taeyong's feet had found their way to the both of them. And it looked worse up close like this; Jaehyun was hurt, no doubt, but Johnny... fuck. Johnny was _bloodied_.

Jaehyun's hand was still in the air and he was breathing hard. Johnny was barely conscious. "It's me you're to be angry at this time.. Johnny didn't do anything. Let... Let him go." The words felt like needles on his tongue — sharp, metallic, bitter.

Jaehyun let go of Johnny's collar, effectively throwing him down on the floor, and _sneered._ Taeyong took a step back as Jaehyun finally stood upright — the Alpha looked menacing; drawn back shoulders, icy eyes, and towering above him like some sort of prideful god. With each step he took closer, thunder and lightning under his feet, Taeyong took a step back, terrified. Taeyong stopped himself on the fourth step, skidding his movements to a halt, using whatever form of watery bravery he had left to face the Alpha in front of him.

"You want to take the blame, huh?" Jaehyun spat. " _Of course_ you would. Not fucking surprised. You like to act all innocent, fucking perfect. I get mad at you and you fucking cry yourself to sleep. You have a lot of guts pretending like that — you're _fake,_ Taeyong, and I see it now. Do it once, I can take it, but a second time.. Do you take me for a _fool?_ How long have you been sleeping with him, huh? How many people have you been spreading your legs for?"

The beginning he could take, Jaehyun's anger, that he could understand, but to blatantly try to insult him like that — to use those words against Taeyong knowing _damn well_ Taeyong hadn't done something like that in his life. Not on purpose, never on purpose. Jaehyun had wanted his words to sting, to hurt, maybe to make him cry again, but in the end, all it did was make Taeyong _seethe._

"And who the _fuck_ do you think you are?" Taeyong hit back with just as much vigour. He wouldn't take it — he wouldn't be humiliated like that in front of everybody. Taeyong faked a laugh, "So, you can go around spreading your legs for any Omega that piques your interest, yet _I_ can't even sleep with anyone else?"

Jaehyun's eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. "I've never stopped you. You could have, and I wouldn't have stopped you."

And Taeyong scoffed and rolled his eyes because that was complete and utter _bullshit_. Jaehyun may not have outright stopped him, but he knew — he goddamn _knew_ — that Jaehyun would have made that action outright impossible. And the mere thought of it just pissed him off, taking him to a level of anger he hadn't ever experienced. He tried to be reasonable, he _did_ , it made sense why Jaehyun felt this way — It was Johnny for God’s sake — and despite that, Taeyong couldn't bring himself to care at that moment. As far as he was concerned, Jaehyun was being an unreasonable _asshole._

From his peripheral, he could vaguely see that Johnny was trying to get himself up, and his heart clenched. Now, they were both facing the consequences of their actions.

Jaehyun squared his shoulders and intensified his scent before taking another step forward. "I would have been fine with anyone — _anyone_ but Johnny—" Taeyong called bullshit a second time. "Yet, not only do you go off and sleep with him, you let him _court_ you?" Taeyong's eyebrows furrowed in a mix of true confusion and vapid anger. And before he knew it, Jaehyun had grabbed his wrist with the bracelet Johnny had gifted him. "What the fuck is _this?_ "

"Let go of me!" Taeyong tried to tug his arm back but Jaehyun held it in the air for the world to see, scoffing down at Taeyong who was practically writhing underneath him. "Let go of me _now!_ Leave me alone! I don't want you anymore! I want nothing to do with you! _I hate you!_ "

To him, to Jaehyun, to everyone who played witness, it was a lie. "No, Tae, because if you truly didn't want me, if you truly haven’t _wanted_ me, you would have never let me stake claim on you years ago. You would have found a nice, prissy fucking Alpha who would've given you the whole world and left me in the dust. Admit it, Tae, you've wanted me this whole time. And doing what you've done makes you just as much as a coward as I am," Jaehyun spat with venom.

Taeyong was stunned. Taeyong was angry. Taeyong couldn't control himself.

"Y-You, You asshole!" And before anyone else could even register it, Taeyong pulled back the wrist trapped in Jaehyun's hard clutch and slapped him, the sound reverberating through the field. There was a chorus of gasps from around them, but Taeyong didn't care, his hand stung and Jaehyun was mad — Jaehyun was _livid_ — but he didn't care. He'd do it again, and again, and _again_ till Jaehyun got it through his thick skull that he wouldn't take such treatment any longer.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" a voice boomed from across the field — another Alpha, and Jaehyun's coach, he recognised through his whirr of thoughts. Doyoung was following him in tow, but Taeyong hadn't even noticed when he had disappeared. He whipped his eyes away from the Alpha who was letting out rigid, barely-controlled, heavy breaths, to follow the Alpha and Beta striding up to them.

" _You!_ I let you join our team after all of that begging and this is what you do? Come with me now," the Coach commanded, but Jaehyun was still. Taeyong held his breath. He still... he still couldn't believe he'd _done_ that. "Are you hearing me, mister? I said _now,_ or lose your spot on the fucking team."

That must have been enough to make Jaehyun listen because finally, the sharp, hostile eyes that he was drilling into Taeyong were transferred to the body of his Coach. Taeyong felt slight tension leave from his body — _slight_ because it was still there, an overwhelmingly large amount. And Jaehyun was walking away now, power in his footsteps as he followed the older man, making his knees almost give way. They had buckled, actually, and he had nearly fallen — it was Doyoung's arm that had caught him.

"I... I just slapped him..." Taeyong whispered to nobody in particular, eyes wide, and heart pounding in his chest.

Doyoung grinned. "You did."

Back in his — _their_ — apartment, Taeyong's head was in his hands, shaking them. He wanted to cry, eyes stinging as the incoming tears pricked his eyes. It was a mix of disbelief, being overwhelmed, being upset, and deep rooted anger. Angry at himself. Angry at Jaehyun. Just _anger_. He hadn't felt it like this before, stark and encompassing his entire body. It was crazy.

The doorbell rang and Taeyong could hear Johnny shifting awkwardly by the foot of the door of the room. "I'll get it," he offered as if he truly had a choice in their current situation. Doyoung nodded wordlessly, too preoccupied with comforting Taeyong sitting on the bed, and because he didn't really want to talk to Johnny either — the three of them knew that. Johnny understood, and at least, for now, or for today, he wouldn't be getting punched again. One more willing blow and he would be sure to suffer from a concussion.

"Hello!" Ten's voice rang through the apartment. "Oh, _yikes._ " Taeyong figured that he must have seen Johnny. Ten made his way over then, light footsteps sounding too loud for the emptiness in the hall — the empty feeling in Taeyong's head and heart. "God, so it must be fucking true."

"Ten!" That was Doyoung's stern voice from beside him.

"What? You know news travels fast, and I sort of half expected it to be fake because Taeyong... Well, _damn_ , Tae. I didn't think you had it in you, you bad bitch," Ten went on as if the whole ordeal was just some piece of juicy gossip that he had managed to sink his teeth into. And in any other situation, Taeyong would have found the humour in it, laughed at it too maybe, but he didn't. What he did do, though, was lift his head out of his hands. Ten was looking at him, impressed.

"Johnny."

Johnny seemed surprised at Doyoung suddenly calling his name, and he stood straight, at attention at the door. "Go get your first aid kit, please," he asked, though the tone of his voice insinuated that it was more of an order, "for Taeyong. I want to wrap his hand," he added before Johnny could get any ridiculous ideas about Doyoung caring for _him._ Not now. Maybe not ever. Taeyong wondered what would have happened if he was a bit more like Doyoung from the beginning.

Ten waltzed into the room from the doorway languidly as Johnny left, and took a seat beside Taeyong on the bed after dropping his bag. His hand found its way to Taeyong's back, and Taeyong found it crazy, because he was like Sicheng now, though with the exception of crying his eyes out. But he was close to tears, so, _so close._ It would only be a moment before the dam would break again.

Ten seemed to have finally understood the atmosphere in the room because he started up again, quieter and caring this time, "What are you going to do now?"

Taeyong took in a deep breath, letting the words soak in and the room fall silent. "I... I don't know." He clenched and unclenched his hand. The needle-like sting in his palm served as a reminder for him now, tomorrow, and would for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....hi. don’t be pissed at me, sorry x100. i’ve been waiting to write this chapter for ages — specifically, the _slap _. wow. please do leave thoughts, i’m always really interested in them, now more than ever! thank you to silent readers, kudo-leavers and commenters — everyone who clicked on this really ☺️!_  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [scream in my cc](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)_


	9. Valentine’s Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [this picture](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2011091937460103.jpeg) and [this picture as a younger them](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2011091943420109.jpeg)

The wind whipped through his hair and stung his face for the split second that he remained in the air — it was only him and the clouds at that time, the world temporarily put on hold from spinning on its axis, and the light of the sun's rays peeking through the almost translucent clouds. And he always savoured that moment, captured the thrill in his bones to engrave it into his memory, before there was a rush of breath, and he came crashing down, the unstoppable force of gravity pulling him back to earth.

Taeyong stumbled as he landed, unbalanced, and fell back unto the grass with a soft _thud._ He squeezed the emerald blades between his fingers, unearthing them, and let out a wound up breath of frustration. He knew the end of this routine off by heart, familiarised himself with each and every move so much it was like second nature — _pike, toe-touch, hurdler into a backspring_ — and yet he couldn't land properly on his feet lately. It was letting down his team — it was letting himself down, and it was so. damn. _embarrassing._

Taeyong felt a gentle touch on his back, coaxing his eyes open and allowing him to now fall lax. It was Doyoung, he knew, simply by the familiarity of his touch, the lack of scent, and the stark, almost commanding presence behind him. Taeyong huffed then, pausing to take in the sun, before he stood up, brushed the grass and mud off his exposed knees, and glanced around. There were only a few girls on his team, spread out as they practiced their own moves like wound up, toy dolls left on repeat, and on the opposite side of the field, further down, the football team was still practicing.

Taeyong flit his eyes away from that area quickly before he could catch eyes with a certain someone who he wanted to pin for his mistakes — but knew with all rationality that he _couldn't_ — and focused on the figure of his cousin seated in the stands. Taeyong wasn't sure if Donghyuck had been paying attention to him at all, too busy failing to be inconspicuous about oogling the Alpha at the other end of the field, whereas Mark, on the other hand, had paid him no mind.

"You okay?" Doyoung asked carefully. "That looked like a bad fall. Did you twist your ankle at the end?"

Taeyong shifted to Doyoung, pouting. "Sort of. I can't get my landing right and it's just—" Taeyong's sentence broke halfway to allow a frustrated noise to fall from his lips. "I have to get down this routine before the end of next week," he sighed as they walked towards the stand where Donghyuck was seated — it was a bit too close to where the Alphas were playing in Taeyong's humble yet nervous opinion, but even then, Donghyuck had chosen not to sit right in front of them if only for Taeyong's sake. Doyoung handed him some of his water as they walked, and Taeyong thanked him with a tired huff of breath.

As they approached, Donghyuck turned, mildly interested, somewhat concerned, but wholly distracted. "You okay, Yongie? Shit looked bad," he said, looking Taeyong up and down. A reassurance had barely left Taeyong's lips when Donghyuck interrupted it, turning back to watch the Alphas on the field, "Okay, great! Now sit down and rest while you watch with me."

Doyoung laughed lightly before taking a seat in a row in front of him, but Taeyong stayed put standing, hands on his hips, lips pursed, and his back turned to the field. For all intents and purposes, he didn't want to have to stay on the field a second longer than he needed to, not with the feeling of hair standing upright on the back of his neck ever since he stepped out to practice earlier — it was like that now, too, a direct reaction caused from the feeling of being _watched._ That's all it ever was, and it would have been flattering in any other case but this. Jaehyun instead had made it _frustrating._

Taeyong rolled his shoulders back and let out a deep breath. He didn't know how to stress to Donghyuck that he didn't want to be there without giving out the reason away. Donghyuck didn't know because Taeyong hadn't told him, and he preferred that he wouldn't somehow taint the way his cousin saw him. Taeyong forced himself to come up with a threat on the spot, becoming restless by just simply being in the Alpha's vicinity. "Let's go home now or else I'll kick you out."

"Oh wow," Doyoung muttered to himself, half listening to the forceful conversation being exchanged as he leaned forward to get a better look at the play. Taeyong hadn't taken him to like sports, but he'd been wrong in his thinking — his constant and endless _assumptions._

Donghyuck turned to Taeyong, frowned, and then smirked. "No way, you said I could stay, remember? I made you promise."

"You _forced_ me into it!" Taeyong stressed, throwing up his hands, "I literally didn't have a choice."

And it was true, Taeyong's words, because Donghyuck had showed up two days before at his and Johnny's doorstep with a luggage bag in his hand, without warning —and it wad a sight that was awfully familiar, except that Taeyong had been the one in his position, not on the other side with his jaw on the floor. And there was never any possibility of him saying no — not with Donghyuck pushing his way in easily, and once inside, refusing to step back out again. And somehow, Donghyuck had managed to pin his sudden appearance on _him._

_"I told you before, like, a whole month ago if you would've listened to me properly on the phone. It's your fault, I think," Donghyuck said, shrugging simply._

_"You can't just—" Taeyong paused to wipe a hand down his face in exasperation. He was happy for Donghyuck's presence, truly, he was — to have a tangible piece of home next to you was a wonderful thing, but wow... he would have appreciated a heads up, for Johnny at the very least. "You know I have a roommate, right?" Taeyong sighed, shutting the door as he watched Donghyuck kick off his shoes and survey the living with something akin to **impressed** in his features._

_And as if on cue, Johnny stepped out of his room, phone in hand. "Tae, who was— oh. Hey Donghyuck."_

_Donghyuck grinned. "Hey, haven't seen you in awhile." Taeyong furrowed his brows at the interaction. Had Johnny not noticed the bags yet? But, Johnny made his way into the kitchen, walking past them as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. The_ _Alpha paused as he drew a glass of water to his lips, eyes flickering over to the bags waiting to be noticed by Taeyong's feet. Donghyuck had already made himself comfortable on the living room couch._

_"You're staying over?"_

_"Yeah," Donghyuck answered languidly, not bothering to ask if he could._

_There was another moment of silence then, and for some reason, Taeyong had found himself holding his breath, awaiting Johnny kicking him out like any sane person would. Johnny was a samaritan; good natured, good-willed, but even then, how much could one person take? The Lee's were storms that had showed up in his home and in his life unannounced, and if Donghyuck felt no remorse about it, Taeyong alone could bear the brunt of the burden._

_And just as Taeyong had opened his mouth to let out an awfully sewn string of apologies, Johnny tilted his head, settled his eyes over on the bags once more, before muttering, "Cool, cool."_

_And then, he was off._

_"See," Donghyuck said as soon as Johnny left to amble back into his room, half high with the way he seemed so out of it, "he doesn't even mind."_

Taeyong would have been lying if he said he still wasn't slightly bitter about it. Johnny hadn't welcomed _him_ with open arms like that, he had even wanted to kick him out at one point not too long ago, and despite him being acutely aware of the reason, it was still a bit irking to think about. But, Taeyong truly wasn't any better, Donghyuck had him just as wrapped around his finger, or why else would he have taken a seat beside the Omega when his body was screaming at him to leave?

Taeyong grumbled, crossing his arms as Donghyuck leaned forward and squealed, enraptured by Mark seemingly making another touchdown. Taeyong doubted Donghyuck really knew the play, granted, he hadn't known too much either, and they had both been content to watch in high school even without such knowledge. If Jaehyun had won a game back then, it meant that he was happy, and in turn, Taeyong was too — satisfied to watch as Jaehyun was lifted into the air as the crowd chanted and cheered on the field. All of his life, he had been on the sidelines, never in the forefront of the Alpha's life, and he had been content with that for a long time.

Until he wasn't. It wasn't enough.

And with that passing thought of the Alpha, Taeyong was reminded of his presence once again — or his body was, at least; instincts itching at his being to divert his eyes away from the field and to the stands directly opposite him. He forced himself to stay seated and eyes rooted on Mark instead, not choosing to up and leave if only for Donghyuck's sake. His only temporary relief was that Jaehyun wasn't on the field playing with them — and Taeyong felt bad about it, truly, because what else did the Alpha have for him now but sport? But, he was the own cause of his own month-long suspension, so who was there to blame but himself?

He had chosen the path of getting physical with Johnny. Taeyong could rationalise his behaviour, but he couldn't bring himself to accept it. Not until he received an apology — or until they _both_ exchanged them, because the slap, to him, was some form of poetic justice, but such violence had left a sour taste in his mouth, one he couldn't get rid of no matter how much he purged and purified his mind with painting, cheer, and school work. In the end, it was all useless. They needed to talk.

The Alpha seemed unwilling, and Taeyong wasn't going to swallow his pride, go over there, and beg no matter how much he occasionally felt the overwhelming urge to.

Though, sometimes it was a case of physical over psychological, because his eyes had unknowingly floated towards that direction. It was for a split second, one or two at best, but it was enough to catch Jaehyun's eyes — Jaehyun who even when forbidden from practice, would sit back and watch his team play, always on the edge of his seat. That half a second was enough time for Taeyong to be hit with a flood of emotion at the indistinguishable look in Jaehyun's eyes — yearning, despondency, loneliness, and _regret._

But if there was one thing lacking in them, if there was any sole emotion Taeyong was unable to pinpoint from that sea, it was _anger._ He wasn't angry at Taeyong. Taeyong wasn't angry at him either — he couldn't pull out such an emotion other than longing after a month had now passed, and February's warmth had brought a reminder of the new season. Things in life were seasonal, and this, too, would pass — though, the outcome of its passing was unclear, blurry and fuzzed around the edges. Taeyong didn't know anymore.

He was brought back to reality after Donghyuck jumped up, squealing. Doyoung was, too, as his head shot up from where he had been texting someone on his phone instead, and he turned to give Taeyong an amused raise of a brow. Taeyong shrugged, smiling at the Omega softly. Donghyuck always seemed to draw attention to himself, and now was of no exception, because for the first time since they had been on the field, Mark had actually looked over at them, obvious surprise coating his features.

The Alpha paused for a moment, and so did Donghyuck, and Taeyong had begun to wonder what exactly was going on and silently being exchanged, before Mark turned right back around to his teammates.

"I just embarrassed myself," Donghyuck murmured as he sunk back down into his chair somewhat defeatedly. "I was just happy that he made a goal." Donghyuck's heart shaped lips pulled themselves into a pout.

"Touchdown," Taeyong corrected softly as he patted the Omega's back, to which Donghyuck pulled a face, irked at the correction.

"Let's go now," Donghyuck announced with a huff, eyebrows furrowed. Taeyong felt bad — he didn't know what expectations Donghyuck had set by coming over here for his two week break instead of studying back at home, but they were clearly not being met, that was if his reaction to the turn of current events was anything to go by.

"You're not going to wait to talk to him?" Taeyong asked, stunned at the way he had abruptly stood up. Donghyuck was still pouting, and his limbs had slumped now from his lack of previous enthusiasm. Doyoung beside them chuckled lightly, and Donghyuck's face soured impossibly more, not enjoying subtly being made fun on, even if he was on the other end of it the majority of the time.

Donghyuck chose to sulk instead of answer, slipping past Taeyong to walk down the steps of the bleachers. Doyoung pocketed his phone and followed, and Taeyong went next, following after Donghyuck in tandem with Doyoung. As much as Donghyuck could whine, pester, or annoy him, he still _felt_ for him. That wouldn't stop anytime soon. And so, he felt like he should say something to the Omega to ease his worries, and also simply because it was in Taeyong's nature to do so.

"Don't worry, Hyuck, Mark will come around," Taeyong reassured. He couldn't guarantee such a thing knowing how Alphas like Mark and Jaehyun behaved — he _knew_ he could never guarantee such a thing. But, Mark and Jaehyun were two different people. Mark was _nice._ Mark wouldn't ignore Donghyuck knowing that he knew he was here, would he? Taeyong hoped not for the Omega's sake.

Donghyuck hadn't turned around to answer, feet facing forward as he muttered his next words. "That's easy for you to say, Jaehyun practically jumped out of his chair when all you did was land wrongly."

Donghyuck stalked off past him and Doyoung followed after him with a chuckle. And Taeyong couldn't find it in him to tell Donghyuck to slow down, that he was going the entirely wrong way home. He had stumbled in his steps, taking a moment to reel back from Donghyuck's words and the implication of them. He hadn't noticed that, and if Doyoung had, he hadn't told him. There was something flickering in his chest, low and warm, reminding him that despite everything, there was still hope. But — he stopped himself — that meant nothing. If Jaehyun hadn't directly come over, if he hadn't said nor done anything, those actions meant _nothing._

Taeyong had to remind himself that all the way back home with a sulking Donghyuck beside him, then as he got ready for bed, and even as he slipped into his cotton sheets and closed his eyes. At the end of the day, and come morning, it should and _would_ mean nothing. Except for the fact that it didn’t.

Taeyong always had the crushing habit of holding unto those small slivers of hope.

Valentine's week at SNU wasn't at all what Taeyong had expected, though, he had never had any expectations for the week at all really. It was a celebration of sorts, and SNU seemed to take it to heart with the amount of time and goddamn _money_ they must have invested into it. Taeyong was genuinely surprised at the number of decorations they had managed to stick around the place — streamers, love heart balloons, and ballot boxes where you could write down somebody's name, year, and course down, and members of the chess club would deliver a mini box of chocolates on your behalf as a confession.

And to top it all off, there was a festival that would take place the day before Valentines on Friday, February the 13th, in which all clubs would get together and host booths around the campus. The cheerleading team was taking part, too, because the University's funds couldn't cover everything they needed. It was something Taeyong hadn't even known was going on until the day before when their Coach had discussed how it was going to run this year with them before practice. Taeyong had been _lightyears_ out of the loop.

But, it was a tradition, and everyone had to take part — Taeyong, new or not, was of no exception.

Now, though, he was at lunch with Doyoung by his side, and the floor to ceiling decorations left him in so much awe that his food was beginning to grow cold. There was love in the air; lovely, big, bold and bright reminders of the fickle emotion wherever he went. He could feel it permeate through his skin and tingle in his bones, a reminder that relationships were blossoming all around him, though his remained stagnant. There was nothing for him to look forward to doing this year, and if it were any other time before, he'd be on the search for a _birthday present._ February 14th was Jaehyun's birthday, after all.

"I don't see the big deal," Doyoung said casually, though there was a hint of cynicism in his voice as he spoke, and his fork stabbed the chicken on his plate with a tad bit too much force to be considered a reasonable accident.

Taeyong looked away from the pink, purple, and white streamers by the window of their cafeteria to the Beta who had just spoken, and smiled to himself. It was funny really to see Doyoung so vexed about a simple celebration, but Taeyong guessed that it was more than that at its core. Doyoung was brilliant at masking his emotions, but there was only so much he could do before his true feelings began to ooze through the cracks.

"I like it," Taeyong said simply, fondly, and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Love, the intangible thing that caused emotions so stark that they could often feel physical, was a beautiful thing in his opinion. It didn't always work out for people — in fact, it currently wasn't even working for _him,_ and even this wasn't enough to take away from its beauty. "Stop being such a grinch."

Doyoung wore a pinched expression, eyes zeroing in on Taeyong as if to assess the truth behind his words. Taeyong supposed Doyoung wanted him to mope along with him, or maybe that Doyoung expected him to be sad about the reminder that this Valentines week brought along with it — and he _was,_ to an extent, but Doyoung must have rubbed off on him because he had become better at hiding it. The arm that had worn his heart on its sleeve was tucked away now, put away for the time being.

"You're so sweet, it makes me sick," Doyoung replied, nose scrunched, but even Doyoung could see that he was being unnecessarily negative.

Doyoung sighed, "It's actually just sort of sad." Taeyong tilted his head, intrigued at his words. "I believe in love. Or, I believe in getting so used to and comfortable with a person that you say you'd like to stay with them forever. But, and I know it sounds bad, you'll probably just think I'm being bitter — that's what everyone else thinks — _but,_ if you think about it, half of the couples formed this week are going to break up at some point. _Over_ half."

Taeyong winced. There was a truth to that that he didn't want to acknowledge, but perhaps the reality of it would do him so good. There was no guarantee that if he had dated anybody — if he had dated _Jaehyun_ back then — that it would've worked out. He liked to think it would. He liked to think that it was possible to be with that one person and be committed to that one person forever the very first time around. He was sort of... _happy_ they hadn't gotten together, even with as much as it hurt, because Jaehyun was immature, and Taeyong would have expected too much when the Alpha could only offer so little.

It hadn't been their time then. He didn't know if it was their time now.

Doyoung had a distant, contemplative look on his face as if gathering his thoughts. Doyoung normally knew what to say, what seemed like years before he said it — quick to question, quick to reply. This only showed Taeyong that such a topic could be complicated for even someone like Doyoung to dissect.

"I think," Doyoung had started up again after their pause, Taeyong listening to him intently, "I just think that people date for the thrill of it, the experience, being well aware, somewhere in the back of their mind, that they're going to break up. They _know_ they're going to break up, and yet they throw themselves in one anyway. I don't know whether to call it stupid or brave." Taeyong pulled a face — the words weren't even directed towards him, but they had hurt to hear. Doyoung was too much of a realist, and Taeyong was an idealist.

"What's that quote I learned in my philosophy elective? By Florian? Pierre? His name was french, I think. He said the pleasure of love lasts but a moment, but the pain of love lasts a lifetime."

 _Oh wow,_ Taeyong thought, reeling. Doyoung's haphazard words had hit close to him. He'd given so much love and loved so wholly, and yet, sometimes the pain in his heart felt never ending on his worst days. To love a lifetime, to hurt a lifetime, or to regret never loving at all? There may have been some truth to Doyoung's words, but Taeyong still believed it was gamble worth trying.

"You're right, I think..." Taeyong trailed off. And then, he smiled, genuine. "But that wouldn't stop me."

Doyoung chucked lightly, "I didn't think it would."

Taeyong's phone buzzed, and he looked down to see a text from Donghyuck. He felt a little bad leaving the Omega at home, especially with Donghyuck becoming so restless when there was nothing else to do. It was evident now, too, in the way he texted Taeyong to come home to take him shopping in the city, knowing fully well that it'd be a couple of hours till all of Taeyong's lectures were over, and then one or two more for a meeting to organise the booth the cheer team would be hosting at the festival. Taeyong texted him back those details but only to be met with a flurry of angry emojis.

Taeyong sighed then looked up as the scent of cinnamon wafted towards him. Doyoung, with his brilliant Beta senses, was already looking at Johnny who was approaching their table, tray of food in hand, as if he didn't have a million and one other Alpha friends to sit with. Taeyong guessed his original plan was to sit himself beside Doyoung, but the look the Beta wore must have been some sort of heavy deterrent as he side stepped almost too quickly, instead making a bee-line for the seat next to Taeyong, despite it having slightly less space. It was funny almost. Taeyong couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey Tae, Doie," Johnny greeted, nodding at the both of them respectively.

Taeyong chirped his own reply, but Doyoung simply scrunched his nose, choosing not to comment on the name. It seemed to be a win, in Johnny's books at least, because his smile had grown impossibly wide immediately afterwards. He then picked up a pack of mints from his tray — those extra strong ones that Taeyong hated and vehemently declined whenever Doyoung offered — and reached over the table to place them in front of the Beta he had clearly been trying to court. Taeyong smiled warmly at the exchange.

"Thanks," Doyoung said wryly, unwrapping the pack and popping in a mint regardless of whatever he was feeling.

And then, there was silence, Taeyong waiting for Johnny to speak up first, Johnny most likely waiting for Taeyong to somehow help him bridge the gap between the two, and Doyoung now reserved to making no conversation at all since the Alpha had arrived. Or, at least that's what Taeyong had initially thought, because Doyoung was the one who had actually chosen to speak up first, unbothered by the palpable yet muted tension at the table.

"Why on the field?" Doyoung asked casually, swirling a mint in his mouth. He leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows at Johnny who appeared almost... almost _nervous_ in front of him. "You realise how that made you both look?"

Like a pair of neanderthals, like cavemen, like stupid Alpha men who couldn't use their brains nor words to dispel an argument was omitted but implied. And honestly, Taeyong had been curious about it, too. It would have ended much differently if it didn't happen there — it would have been much simpler if they fought somewhere else off the University grounds so Jaehyun wasn't put on probation for a month. Taeyong pursed his lips, looking at Johnny expectantly.

They shouldn't have fought at all, but even so, Johnny shouldn't have put Jaehyun in such a position to get in trouble. It irked Taeyong more than it should've now when he looked at his roommate. Johnny scratched the back of his head. "I knew he was going to hit me, and wanted it to be on even ground?" Johnny offered as if his explanation had made much sense. "He didn't even hit me the first time, surprisingly enough," Johnny continued.

Taeyong snuck a glance at the Beta beside him who had a brow raised in the slightest — so slight that he wouldn't have noticed it at all if he wasn't so used to Doyoung's usual, resting facial expression. And it occurred to him then that Doyoung wasn't aware that it had happened between him and Johnny twice, and despite it, he made no other outwardly expressions, only paid attention, with nothing in his aura indicating anger or discomfort — he was either truly over it or he was a damn good actor. And at that point, Taeyong couldn't make any more of such guesses, it could have been _both_ or _either._

"So, I think that's it now. I think now that he's gotten it out of his system, he won't be mad at me anymore. That's how Jae is, just punches shit to make himself feel better sometimes, and then he'll be over it." Johnny's voice was soft despite his words, and he ran a hand through his hair and breathed out a laugh. "So many holes in the damn wall."

Taeyong furrowed his brows, confused. He knew Jaehyun could get.. _angry_ sometimes, but not to the extent of punching holes in the wall like some sort of reincarnated barbarian. "What do you mean? There weren't any holes in his bedroom wall when I went over."

Johnny's laughter faded, and he smiled at him then, looking at him but not truly — a sort of distant look in his eye as if he was reminiscing. "Yeah, but there were in _mine._ After the second one, my parents threatened to stop letting him come over or they'd kick him out at the door. Had to blame the third hole on me getting drunk."

 _"Three?"_ Taeyong reeled, and there was a snort of laughter from beside him — Doyoung no doubt. Taeyong blinked. "Jesus Christ."

Doyoung smiled coyly. "He roughed you up pretty bad." He then paused, tilting his head tauntingly, mockingly, or maybe just out of plain interest. "You didn't fight back."

It wasn't a question, more of a statement of sorts — a recollection of how Johnny had laid there almost waiting for the punches to come, a weak line of defence between his face and hands. Doyoung was right, the three of them knew it; Johnny had let Jaehyun beat him up like that because he felt like he deserved it. And Taeyong knew that Jaehyun had quick reflexes, so fast that it could be unnerving, so the fact that Taeyong had slapped him... It was because Jaehyun had _let_ him. Taeyong wondered if Jaehyun felt the same way — if Jaehyun, too, felt like he _deserved it._

Johnny chortled genuinely, "He did rough me up pretty bad." The Alpha waved a hand around his face, and Taeyong made a noncommittal noise from beside him in agreement. The image of watching Jaehyun put Johnny in that position that day... it made him feel _odd._ A good type of weird, that is. Taeyong believed he may have had a strength kink. "I'll hit him up on or after his birthday maybe, so that the both of us will hopefully use _our words._ "

Johnny had said it with his eyes locked with Doyoung who looked back dryly. Taeyong watched, feeling like some sort of intruder, before he shot up from the chair suddenly, deciding to leave the two to stew in the own moment, playing an awful, first time role at wingman. He had only made it halfway up when a hand held unto his thigh, pulled him back down, and squeezed — the looking in the Beta's eyes conveying the storm of words Doyoung chose not to speak if only to keep up appearances; _Don't you dare leave._

Taeyong pouted and made his eyes doe. "That hurts," Taeyong whined, faking just so Doyoung could let go of him and he could bolt again, faster this time. Doyoung must have seen through him, Taeyong had always been a terrible liar, and that was of no secret to anyone — and yet, he let go. Taeyong had an inkling that he'd done it on purpose, maybe his subconscious wanting to stay alone with him when his rationalised mind didn't. Doyoung was only human.

"Sorry, I have a class now." Taeyong tilted his head with a smile so fake that even Johnny could probably see through.

Johnny would never have any complaints, though, because Taeyong was doing him a favour, after all. It was a half lie — he had another ten minutes before his next lecture, but he supposed he could stall or take a trip to the bathroom in the meantime. His love life, or lack thereof, was on pause, an error found in communication that had put it on hold, but that didn't mean he couldn't give Doyoung's a push in what he felt like was the right direction. Taeyong had always been too nosy for his own good.

Taeyong stood up again with no sudden interruptions this time, but as he took one step away from them, Johnny's voice had called him back softly and apologetic. "I'm sorry, Yong, I should have told you before I did that." What he meant was implied — he should have told Taeyong before confronting Jaehyun like that, for God's sake, _he should have told him._ But he didn't. Johnny wasn't any different from other Alpha's who thought they could make decisions for any _helpless_ Omega in their vicinity.

Taeyong nodded silently. He couldn't change how things went down no matter how much he wanted or wished to.

Taeyong had chosen to go to the bathroom to stall before getting to class. That lecturer didn't seem to like him, and Taeyong attributed it to him having some sort of secondary gender bias because all the Omega's had gotten C's whereas the Beta's and Alpha's had received A's and B's, and it was work he had even spent extra time on after having heard whispered rumours about the woman. He churned over the thought bitterly, how that big and bold letter represented the steady, miserable decline in his life.

 _God,_ he threw his head back. He knew he shouldn't let one grade get to him out of a sea of others, but with everything that had been happening to him recently, it was just so... _frustrating._

Taeyong breathed out a sigh as he washed and dried his hands, mentally preparing himself to get ready to again visit that same lecture hall. What he hadn't prepared himself at all for, however, was the powerful scent of peach that hit him before the door to the bathroom had even opened. Taeyong stilled, breath catching in his throat and solidifying there as the door to the bathroom swung open to reveal Jaehyun who too had halted his movements at the sight of Taeyong. Taeyong's heart ricocheted in his chest, slamming itself from corner to corner at the sight of the Alpha before him.

Jaehyun hadn't looked much different from a month ago. Or maybe he did. His eyes were sunken in, his hair had been run through one too many times to be considered a deliberate styling choice, and he didn't stand as proud and upright as he always had — but his clothes were pristine and intact, as if any other way, he'd lose whatever semblance of sanity he had left completely. Jaehyun was standing at the door of the bathroom, blocking any and every exit Taeyong had in mind. And the sight was striking, because that was exactly how Taeyong had met him the first two times — in the school and at that first party — but things had changed. The tables had turned.

"Hey," Taeyong said quietly and softly. He wished for his voice to have more strength, but it was the fact that he took initiative that counted.

"Tae," Jaehyun answered, breathing out as his eyes scanned over the Omega.

Taeyong was reciprocating, his gaze landing upon the cheeks that had been painted red in a time that seemed so long ago now compared to the present and where they were. Jaehyun's cheek was unblemished, no sign of faded bruise, or perhaps he had never bruised in the first place — but the slap was harsh, the slap was powerful, and Taeyong's palms had buzzed into his veins and his fingertips for the coming days after.

There was silence between them, like a thick, heavy fog had settled over them, making it hard to breathe. Taeyong, or his instincts — _or both_ — yearned to be closer, and yet, he stood rooted in place. He wanted to touch — he wanted to _be touched,_ he wanted to run his hands over the calluses on Jaehyun's hands and the expanse of his back to pull him closer. It was an urge that his body was trained to do, and Jaehyun had the same thought, seemingly, as he reached out a hand. Taeyong took a shaky step back. Words first.

"We need to talk. I know that now we should... I want.." Jaehyun shut his eyes, words getting lost without a sense of clear direction. Taeyong knew what he was trying to say, but he wanted to hear it from Jaehyun directly. Actions were said to speak louder than words, but without words, those actions meant nothing.

Jaehyun looked him in the eye. "I'm not giving up on you. I won't." There was a power in his words now despite how his body seemed wholly unsure — he knew what he was saying, and it was as if he'd been waiting to say it, those exact words in that exact tone in that exact pace, like a mantra he had practiced over and over, a broken record with no end. Taeyong's heart squeezed painfully. "I'm sorry... But can you..." The aim of his apology was unclear, but they were running out of time. This wasn't the place for it.

"Can you wait for me? Can you give me time, Tae? Just a little bit more of it even when you know I've been fucking selfish with it. Can you...” he trailed off, uncertain. “Will you wait for me?" Jaehyun had asked, but his tone gave off more of a plea, a beg, a cry of help and of desperation.

Taeyong bit his bottom lip. How much time? How much time would he spend waiting? It had taken a month before Jaehyun had spoken these few simple words to him, so how much longer would it take for them to sit down and have that much needed conversation? Taeyong was patient. Taeyong was good at waiting — he had done it all these years. But... but he had done it because there was _hope._ A younger him was certain of the fact that no matter what happened, they were meant to be. He had never minded the wait because he was so _certain_ of the end result.

Now, at twenty, Taeyong was unsure. He was unsure, and it broke his heart for him to even think that way.

He just wanted his own happy ending.

As an answer danced on the tip of his tongue, fate would have it that the door swung open just in time to cut him off. It was another Alpha at the door, that fact was easily recognisable by their scent — woody and heady — and it was Mark. He hadn't noticed Taeyong at first, just pushed through and focused on Jaehyun as if he'd been looking for him. Whatever was accumulating between Taeyong and Jaehyun was broken, and the overwhelming urge to cry died down, squashed into a container he controlled by putting on a tightly-fit lid. Taeyong put his hand to his chest and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Yo, Jae, about what you said about my offense, I— oh. What's up, Taeyong?" Mark gave him a respectful nod once he realised the Omega's presence, and the Alpha's body stiffened, most likely having caught whiff of the pheromones doused in the far too small bathroom. Or, at least, it felt far too small for the three of them — like the walls were closing in and locking, making it hard to breathe. Mark hesitated, "Where's Donghyuck?"

Taeyong swallowed down nothing. "At home. He's on school break, so he decided to come visit."

He truly didn't know what Mark sought to gain by asking that question because objectively, it was useless. Donghyuck obviously couldn't stay in the University with him. He'd do nothing but disturb. But maybe Mark had his own reasons, reasons that would only make sense to Mark or other Alphas. It was impossible to figure out how they thought, and yet Taeyong had believed he'd beat that impossibility. It was silly, or funny even, looking back at it — such innocence.

"Oh. Yeah, right," Mark responded before shifting foot to foot awkwardly. Jaehyun remained silent, and Taeyong was reminded from the increased shuffling in the halls that he needed to get to class. His and Jaehyun's conversation could wait for another day — hopefully a day in the foreseeable future so he could mark the date in his heart's calendar and prepare for it for days to come. He wouldn't cry that day. Or maybe that was another lie he told himself. But, he would _try._

Silently, Taeyong made his way past them, leaving the Alpha's to their own devices. He could feel Jaehyun's heavy gaze on him as he left, even as he walked through the filled corridors, and as he sat down in class alone. He knew what those eyes meant; _expectation._

Taeyong hadn't answered his question.

Bright, white, fairy lights glowed all around them, hung around the trees and on the booths, warming the evening air. Taeyong shifted, adjusting the straps of his wings and sticking out his tongue as he smoothed down his outfit. It was Friday the 13th, the day of the Valentines fair, and he was dressed like an angel courtesy of goddamn _Ten._ But, it was his fault for not seeing such a thing coming, he should've know Ten was behind it when the last modest cupid's costume had somehow disappeared.

The booth the cheer team was responsible for was a game of archery with love heart targets and cupid decorations. It was Taeyong's break time, so he decided to step out for a bit. Ten was at another separately run kissing booth, Donghyuck had wandered off earlier in the evening, leaving Taeyong alone, to nobody's goddamn surprise, and Doyoung was somewhere around him, he was sure. He was cordial with the girls on his team, but he didn't necessarily want to sit down and talk to them, never one to start conversation with his introversion, and it was just his luck that his phone had died about an hour ago.

Taeyong sighed, walking around aimlessly. It wasn't like he could go home, charge his phone, and come back — the gap in his break was far too small, and the journey to his shared apartment was far too wide. And so, he observed the other stalls as he walked by — the chess club were now selling handmade trinkets, the art club were making caricatures of couples, and the dance club were holding their own display of artistic movement. Taeyong's heart warmed at the sight of all the couples arm in arm with wide smiles and unabashed love swimming in their eyes.

Out of the bountiful couples, one of two female Omegas waved at him, and he waved back shyly — he sat beside her in one of his classes, a chinese transfer called Ningning if he could recall correctly. As the pair walked by him, he felt something tug at his heart sharply — not jealousy, he was sure of it, but something more genuine; perhaps longing, yearning, wanting what they both had for himself. They looked like a happy couple, and they deserved to be.

Didn't he deserve to be?

As Taeyong walked, he came to another stall with water pistols and heart shaped targets, so he slowed down his footsteps. He stopped and bit his lips — there wasn't really anybody at it, and it wouldn't hurt to try. At least, if he lost, he lost to and by himself, so there wouldn't be much disappointment or embarrassment. He took one last glance around before approaching the lone stall worker who was busy scrolling through her phone, a wonky headband with spring hearts attached to her head.

"Um," Taeyong said in an effort to grab her attention. He had nearly chickened out last minute due to her scent — dark and heavy, almost tangy citrus, indicative of a female Alpha, ones often just as intimidating as their male counterparts. But, those were prejudices, and most definitely untrue, so he forced himself to forgo them. "Can I play?" he asked with a voice as nice as he could muster.

Her eyes shot up, and she scanned him for a moment, alerted that she'd practically been snuck up on, before quickly relaxing at the sight of just him. Taeyong didn't know whether to be offended or not. "Sure," she said flatly, not giving Taeyong any more thought as she briefly glanced down at her phone, seemingly occupied. At least she wasn't intimidating, he noted subconsciously, more so bored and impassive than anything. He paid her the amount listed by the side of the stall before picking up the water pistol to play.

"You need to hit five targets to win a small prize.Six for a medium, and seven for a large," she told him before stalking off. He could've run off with the gun, and she wouldn't have cared nor known because she hadn't been there to watch him.

Taeyong drew in a breath, relaxing his shoulders and straightening his back. He pointed the gun at the first heart-shaped target before frowning — were his fingers always this shaky? It must've been the cold. Or the perpetual anxiety. Or both. Whichever came first really because his gut was starting to twist with a bad feeling, and nothing had even happened yet. Perhaps it was the fear or losing, but Taeyong had never really been very competitive in the first place.

Clearing away his thoughts, he furrowed his brows and blinked into focus, aiming for the first one. A stream of water gushed out and... and he missed. He really missed on a child's game, and God was it _embarrassing._ He snuck a glance at the Alpha in charge of the stall to see if she had noticed his defeat, but she was busy typing furiously on her phone. Huffing a breath, he tried again, successfully hitting the second target. He smiled to himself, proud — he shouldn't have been as satisfied as he was, after all, this was child's play.

He attributed missing the third shot to a phone conveniently ringing just as he pulled the plastic trigger. To nobody's surprise, it was the stall worker again, and she picked it up, anger etched into each corner of her sharp features and tainting them red. Her citrus scent soured, and she gave Taeyong a disinterested glance before going off to shout at whoever on the phone. Taeyong presumed it was a lover's quarrel; a petty fight, a meagre dispute.

Maybe Doyoung was right, as awfully and annoyingly pragmatic as he was, and even if Taeyong didn't like to believe it... maybe half of these couples _were_ meant to break up. It was bad timing for them just as it was for his gun aim, and those were terribly compared parallels. In spite of that one possibly failing relationship, Taeyong still wholeheartedly believed there was love in the air — he could feel it, he could breathe it, he could practically taste it on the tip of his tongue that he had put out in concentration. He pulled back;

_Bullseye._

Superstition told him that that was a positive omen. Doyoung was a pessimist, and true love did exist.

"Careful there, miss this one and you lose the prize completely," came a voice as he aimed for the next target. He was thankful that he didn't choose to shoot just then because he had startled back in response, and there was no doubt in his mind that he would have missed. It was by pure luck he had delayed it to be a second later. "What would that have been? Your third one? Three strikes and you're out," they told him, and Taeyong whipped his head around to the voice and the awfully smoky scent, like that of an Alpha, because that was all he seemed to run into these days.

The man's voice was not exactly condescending, but it _felt_ that way. In fact, the man himself made Taeyong feel out of place by his mere presence, like a jigsaw that had been forced into a piece of the puzzle it didn't fit — body tight and forcefully rigid. "Let me help you, doll," he offered with a dazzling smile.

Taeyong was cognizant that in a normal world he should have been jumping at the opportunity; whoever this was seemed friendly — or at least, they were forcing themselves to be — they had somewhat good looks, and they had come to offer him help. It was like a picture perfect scene in a romcom — Taeyong was alone, so was he, and they had happened to meet at a Valentine's fair by chance.

The voice of rationality knew told him that he could perfectly well use this man as some sort of rebound if he wanted to, that he could use this man, who despite initially and _currently_ rubbing him the wrong way, as a rebound if he wanted to get over Jaehyun once and for all — he really _could._ But, that was the thing, that nagging reminder he had made to himself on New Years day that had made him come this far in the first place and the knowledge that really, he _couldn't._ Not yet. But, he had that chance — that chance was right in front of him, human and tangible, and yet, he had made no move to seize it.

"It's fine," Taeyong contended, "I don't want help."

The Alpha smiled — no dimples. "Ah, but you _need_ it."

He whistled, looking past Taeyong to the game sitting behind them miserably — it was almost starting to mirror Taeyong's feelings. "Watch," he insisted, taking the water pistol from Taeyong without second thought. Something in Taeyong's chest griped in vexation — this was the problem with Alphas, their insistence that they knew everything, what was best for him, what wasn't. Johnny and Jaehyun had done it too, they _all_ did, and it was beginning to grow utterly _infuriating._

Taeyong watched, ticked at the sight of the Alpha getting the next target with one swift, simple shot, boastful in the way he turned back to Taeyong with squared shoulders. Taeyong just wished he would _go away._ He retrieved his pistol back, eyes hard, and turned away from the Alpha, aiming to shoot precisely before he stilled — there was a body behind him. There was a body behind him _touching him_ — his arm, to mask as helping his aim, and his crotch against Taeyong's ass in a blatant display of harassment.

Taeyong whipped around and pushed him away. The Alpha barely stumbled. "What the hell!"

The Omega's voice was steady in tone but drenched in rising rage. He'd never been touched like that in his _life._ Not even willingly. There were perverts back im high school that would make passing comments about his body, but they were never so bold, never so _brave_ as to approach him. Taeyong realised it now looking at the smirking Alpha before him — it wasn't because they had respected him, it was because there was an unspoken threat about what would happen if they did. Taeyong didn't have such back up now — not here, not anymore.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the Alpha said, voice dripping with sardonicism as he tilted his head, "did I do something wrong?"

Taeyong narrowed his eyes — the Alpha was openly mocking him. He glanced around, but the area that he was in was empty, and the stall owner had went off a long time ago. Whoever this was must have known it — that he would be alone now. Call it paranoia, but Taeyong had a feeling he was being _targeted._ Focusing his gaze back on the Alpha who had an exaggerated sorry pout, he breathed in deeply, dousing the heat sparking within him. He could walk away from this, but not without so much as a sincere apology.

"Apologise, and we can both just walk away from this," Taeyong said finally, restraining himself from gritting his teeth — he had a feeling that if he gave the Alpha such a reaction, it'd only egg him on further.

"And if I don't?" he asked, smile wide, the hint of fangs threatening to be unleashed. "What will you do?" The Alpha's eyes flickered down to Taeyong's clenched fists, and he smiled knowingly. "Will you slap me, Taeyong?" Taeyong didn't even register that the stranger knew his name, not when all he could feel was fury itching at his being, waiting to be unleashed. The Alpha stepped forward again tauntingly with his chest puffed out and cricking his neck. He leaned forward to Taeyong with a smile, baring his cheek in an almost submissive display.

"Go ahead."

Taeyong couldn't take it, fingers twitching as he took unsteady breaths. _In one, out two_ — but that was hard to remember when he was being jeered at. Taeyong shut his eyes for a mere moment, but they were shocked open when a hand gripped his jaw and forced him to look forward into the man's eyes — there was something dark swirling in them, thirsting for something Taeyong could never have been able to possibly figure out, and it was as startling as it was unnerving. "Go ahead and do it," he sneered.

Taeyong jerked back out of his iron grip hold and raised his hand, only to be stopped by the call out of a voice; _"Chanyeol!"_

The Alpha — _Chanyeol_ — swivelled around, and his smile grew impossibly wide, grinning from ear to ear like some cheshire cat that had been gifted a treat. There was still anger pumping in Taeyong's veins undoubtedly, but it was overtaken by confusion, correlation, before _it clicked._ They must have known each other — he and Jaehyun — and despite him having zero ideas of who it was, _he_ must have known who he was. He had come to Taeyong with a purpose, Taeyong had been right to guess that he was targeting him. Jaehyun knew him, although the look on his face told Taeyong it wasn't a relationship he'd wish to have gotten involved in the first place.

"Step back from him," Jaehyun ordered, approaching them, scent heavy and commanding — so much so that Taeyong himself had almost dropped to his knees and did something as ridiculous as bare his neck. He grounded himself, hands clenched.

"Ah, so I wasn't mistaken," Chanyeol said with the raise of a brow and his lips curled upwards. He glanced at Taeyong. "That's the one isn't it? Your Omega was about to hit me, you know? Feisty thing. I happened to come by and hear the good news and had to pay a visit to the man himself." He moved forward to Jaehyun who had his jaw set hard. Chanyeol clamped a hand on his shoulder and inspected Jaehyun's face in amusement. "It doesn't still sting, does it?" He sucked in a breath between his teeth, whistling, "Looks bad."

Jaehyun shrugged him off, rolling his shoulders back and standing straighter, his eyes flickering between Taeyong and the other Alpha, but settling on Taeyong mainly as if to ask if he was _okay_ before going back to the man who was almost begging for attention with their display. Taeyong went to take a step forward, but the look in Jaehyun's eyes had kept him in place — perhaps Chanyeol was dangerous, perhaps he was a manic bomb waiting to be set off, or perhaps Jaehyun simply didn't want him in harms way. But that would be the Alpha deciding _for him,_ and so Taeyong took the step forward regardless.

"Fuck off, Yeol," Jaehyun said voice calm, but his body language made what he was truthfully feeling all too obvious. His instincts were begging him to punch the man. "You know you're not wanted here."

"Oh, but I didn't come to visit _you._ " Chanyeol tipped his head back and breathed out a laugh. Suddenly, his eyes were back on Taeyong again. "I came to visit _him._ " Chanyeol turned then, completely disregarding Jaehyun who looked like he was mere seconds away from sinking his teeth into his jugular. Chanyeol held out a hand to Taeyong to shake. "Hello, Bubu."

That seemed to have done it — that seemed to have been enough for Jaehyun to lunge at him whilst Taeyong reeled from the use of the name from a mouth so foreign and unfamiliar. Chanyeol knew who he was, he had known this entire time. But, Taeyong snapped to attention at the sight of Jaehyun holding Chanyeol tightly by the collar. The other Alpha had a couple of inches of him, but Jaehyun was thicker, broader, wider, and most importantly; _enraged._ And there was a small crowd gathering around them now, wondering who would have had such guts to face him.

"Careful there daddy's boy," Chanyeol said but there was an edge to his voice as if it were a secret shared between them — a direct hit to Jaehyun's being.

Whatever it had meant, it must have done something to Jaehyun, because his hand raised and stopped dangerously close to his face, inches away from causing damage, and Taeyong knew Chanyeol wasn't going to stop — the Alpha wasn't trembling, he wasn't afraid, and unlike Johnny, if worse came to worst, it'd be a fair fight. They were evenly matched, and Taeyong wouldn't be able to stand the sight of Jaehyun bloodied even if he _won._

Taeyong was two steps away from them, heart pounding in his ears and mind racing in waiting for that inevitable blow. It was the angriest he'd ever seen the Alpha in his life. Jaehyun was going to hit him, and Chanyeol wanted him to... Chanyeol _wanted_ him to. "Jaehyun, don't!" Taeyong was no bystander, and he wouldn't sit back and watch. But, Chanyeol had aims, the Alpha had motives — for Taeyong, it had clicked. "If you hit him you'll get thrown off the team."

The word permanently needn't have been said, and Taeyong hoped Jaehyun understood and realised the implications of those words. If Jaehyun got into trouble, he'd have _nothing_. Taeyong wasn't with him, his family had never been, and his best friend had betrayed him a long time ago — Jaehyun didn't have anything for him but sport. Jaehyun, even in his bout of anger, seemed to have understood this, but it wasn't enough. The bad blood broiling between them was too thick and too bitter, too ready to erupt, and the mention of repercussions had only made it simmer. It wasn't _enough._

"Jaehyun, don't you dare hit him," Taeyong warned, watching as Jaehyun's fist trembled with barely controlled rage, only fueled by the growing smirk on Chanyeol's lips. "I swear to _God,_ if you place your hands on him, I'll leave you here and never spare you another glance in my _life._ " Where the words had come from, Taeyong didn't know. But there was so much firmness in his voice, so much fire, and so much genuine conviction that it had even surprised him. And though his words had slapped him, Taeyong didn't slip from his resolve.

And it was only by God's own miracle that his words had _worked._

Jaehyun let go of him, white fist drawn back to his side, and Chanyeol barely stumbled, grounding himself on his feet. There was a countenance akin to disappointment in his features, though masked by mocking amusement. Taeyong stepped in front of Jaehyun before Chanyeol could even have another chance of saying or _doing_ something to set him off, because Taeyong wasn't sure if his words would suffice a second time. It had worked once, but the fact that it had worked at all in the first place... Did he really mean that much to Jaehyun?

"Fuck off," Taeyong spat at him angrily, and Chanyeol stepped back, hands raised in faux surrender.

"Sorry about that, doll," he told Taeyong apologetically. Chanyeol's lips curled upwards then, and his eyes went past Taeyong entirely and zeroed in on Jaehyun behind him. Taeyong had been foolish to think he'd let it go with no last words. "It's a shame you had to get your Omega to defend you. But you've done well for yourself," His eyes momentarily fell back to Taeyong, and a shiver of disgust ran through his spine at the way the Alpha gave him a slow, yet appreciative, once over, "he's cute."

As Chanyeol retreated, so did the few people who had stopped to watch the display. Taeyong breathed out, joints relaxing at his disappearing figure, but not fully — not _completely_ — because Jaehyun's scent was still hot and riled up. Taeyong instinctively released soothing pheromones of his own to dim its power and hopefully settle his spirit.

He shakily turned to Jaehyun then, and his heart clenched at the sight of him — each crevice and crack of his features had hardened, marring it in a way that was unlike him. And so, Taeyong put out a hand to smooth out such terse, blemishing lines. Jaehyun shut his eyes and breathed out as the pads of Taeyong's fingers traced the lines of his eyes and the wisps of his lashes — that exhale had taken out most of what was left inside him, melting the anger away from his skin in small, smooth waves. Taeyong watched, heart warm at the sight of Jaehyun falling pliant beneath his fingertips.

Jaehyun opened his eyes. "Thank you."

Taeyong retracted his hand back, but Jaehyun caught it and kept it in his own, intertwining their fingers. Taeyong's eyes fell on it for a moment, heart bursting from happiness, from pain — it couldn't be deciphered — before asking, "Who was he?"

Jaehyun sighed and used his free hand to run a hand through his hair with his free hand. Taeyong gave the one encasing his palm a reassuring and soft _squeeze._ "We know each other," Jaehyun began, stating the obvious, "we were on the same team at my last University."

Taeyong frowned, sensing a long winded story behind it, one he purposefully hadn't asked of — now, at least — because they didn't have the time, and the sounds of laughing couples around them and stall games reminded him that it wasn't the place. It was always like that — wrong time, wrong place, things never aligning in his life in a way that they should've.

"He obviously doesn't go here, but I remember his boyfriend does." Taeyong didn't know it was possible to be even more disgusted with someone in his life. Chanyeol had done... he had done _that_ when he already had a boyfriend. If he truly wanted to antagonize Jaehyun through him, there were better or worse ways to go about it. "I didn't expect he'd show up, but then I came and saw him here with you and... I couldn't fucking believe it."

Taeyong had a feeling that that wouldn't have been the extent of Jaehyun's complete anger if he had known what Chanyeol had done to set Taeyong off. Jaehyun looked down at him, sincerity and worry swimming in his eyes. "He didn't touch you, did he?" Taeyong bit his lips but shook his head, _no._ He'd rather keep the details of the harassment to himself — it would only bring him shame, he knew, if he said it aloud.

"Good." Jaehyun's chest deflated.

Taeyong had started to become acutely aware of having to get back to his job — time had been lost, and he didn't know how long they'd spent there, but it was more than he could find excuses to be accountable for. He could get in trouble for this, but a part of him — a strong, disappointing, yet _right_ part of him didn't want to go yet. Not quite yet. A moment or second more, because time had slithered, slipped, and snaked right through his fingers once again. The wrong time — it was always the wrong time.

"Let's talk now," Jaehyun whispered as if they were the only ones in his world and in his bubble. Taeyong hated to be the one to burst it, because he had been in his for so long.

Taeyong shook his head sadly and rubbed his thumb over the back of Jaehyun's hand, heart fluttering despite himself. Jaehyun had only approached him because of Chanyeol, not because he had sought Taeyong out tonight himself. "I can't, Jae, not now," Taeyong said firmly, and perhaps the firmness in his voice had been too much, because the Alpha has almost winced. Jaehyun held his hand tighter in a silent plea.

Taeyong's voice faded to soft then, meaningful, and slightly pleading. He just wished the Alpha would do the right thing for once. "Listen, Jaehyun, I want to work it out with you — _I do_ — but you keep.. you keep it approaching it wrong, all out of order. First, moving in with you, then _this,_ " His last sentence had hit a sore spot, it was clear in the way an indecipherable emotion passed over Jaehyun's eyes — too quick and fleeting for Taeyong to ever catch it. "I just want you to ask me these things when it's not fueled by something else. Because _you_ want to, not because your pride or jealousy wants you to."

Jaehyun looked restless at his words. "Bubu, _I_ do." He put the spare hand to his chest as if to emphasise that he had came looking for Taeyong on his own. Maybe it was true, maybe he had, but Taeyong couldn't be sure of it. All he wanted, first, was to be absolutely _sure_ of it.

Taeyong shook his head sadly. He could no longer meet the Alpha's eyes. "I... I don't believe that. _I can't._ You haven't given me enough reason to."

Silence loomed over them, stark and weighted, and Taeyong felt tears like pinpricks in his eyes. It had been such a long night, and truly, all he wanted to do was fall into the arms of Jaehyun and sleep away his problems for another night. He wanted to be touched by him, cared for, _held._ But, they needed words first.

Jaehyun pulled him in, and Taeyong breathed his scent in, savouring it as Jaehyun carded a hand through his hair gently. He could hear the Alpha's heartbeat in his chest falling into an almost erratic rhythm in spite of his calm composure — it was reassuring, somehow, to know that Jaehyun's heart beat for him just as his did.

Suddenly, Taeyong was torn away by his arm. It was Donghyuck angrily holding on and Mark standing almost awkwardly by his side. "Break it up." He turned to Taeyong, annoyance and slight disbelief coating his features. "I leave you alone for _one_ minute and you fucking go— Jesus!" Taeyong blinked at him, regaining himself. He knew Donghyuck was only reacting so strongly because he knew what happened now — vaguely. Donghyuck whipped around to Jaehyun then, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Stay away from him."

"Er, yeah, man. Not cool," came Mark's voice from beside him. He didn't know what or how much Donghyuck had spilled from his mouth and told him, but it was embarrassing for Taeyong to know that a practical stranger was privy of his secrets.

"Let's go," Donghyuck ordered without letting Taeyong, nor Jaehyun himself, get a word in. It felt like their world had been ripped apart by Donghyuck and Mark's intrusion. Donghyuck only cared for him, in his own volatile, non-affectionate, Donghyuck way, but he didn't want such care — not now, at least. Taeyong ripped his arm away from him before Donghyuck could drag him away completely with an out-of-place Mark by his side.

Jaehyun hadn't seen his actions coming, Taeyong hadn't either, and yet, when Taeyong ran to him, cradled the Alpha's face in his hands, and placed a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips — a secret told in the dark — it was as if it was bound to happen. It was something that was meant to occur in the course of their lives — that exact moment, that exact exchanged, lingering, longing, and yearning look in the dark of the night and the glow of fairy lights. It was in the course of destiny that Taeyong had whispered on the edge of his lips, a soft and early _happy birthday._

Jaehyun had grabbed his hand then before he could fully get away — before that could be the end of something that had barely even begun. His words were velvet;

"Will you wait for me?"

Taeyong nodded at him before his departure, mouthing a silent, honest, and faithfully true _I will._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everybodyyyyy. kudos or a comments welcomed if you enjoyed it!  
> i cried twice when writing this LOL. i don’t think it was sad, but i was just being moody. anyways, this chapter and the next will tie in together nicely, i hope. also, sorry that this got long, and thank you for reading!!! <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [new cc account! because i’m a dumbass who can’t log back into my old one!!!](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	10. Overdue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [this picture](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2011190557170100.jpeg)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: passing mentions of mild-severe nausea

  
The library was quiet, but the whirring sound of his thoughts was more than enough to make up for it. Somewhere in the background, there was an incessant tapping noise too, and only then did Taeyong realise that someone was — or had _been_ trying to get his attention for awhile, only to no avail. When Taeyong got in one of those moods, it was often hard to get out of them. It was only Doyoung capable of it it seemed, because the tight pull of his skin jolted him upwards.

"Oh!" Taeyong shot up, making much more noise than was definitely allowed. He was lucky that he was only sent a couple glares. "Why'd you do that?" Taeyong whined, lowering his voice and rubbing where he had been pinched on his arm. He still couldn't fathom how Doyoung, the one who did little to no exercise between the both of them, was perhaps one of the strongest people he had ever met — physically _and_ mentally, that is. It genuinely left him gobsmacked.

"That hurt," Taeyong grumbled under his breath.

"Good, it was supposed to," Doyoung snorted. "I tried tapping the table and had to stop because it was disturbing Sicheng, so that was the final option,” Doyoung said as if there weren’t a million and one other ways to have gotten his attention. He was right in thinking that it’d work though, and Taeyong had an inkling Doyoung had just wanted to do that anyway.

Doyoung leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms, and Taeyong shot a glance at Sicheng beside him who was too immersed in his reading to pay their junky conversation any meaningful attention. He should've taken notes from Sicheng, he wished fruitlessly, because Sicheng seemed far too focused on work to be thinking about anything else. Taeyong was something close to a maladaptive daydreamer, mixed in with being an overthinker. It was a dangerous combination for anyone trying to study, not to mention for goddamn Taeyong himself.

"Were you stuck on your work? If it's Miss Park's assignment, I think I can help you with it. I did it a few days ago actually," Doyoung went on to offer.

Taeyong smiled smally but shook his head no. He appreciated the sentiment, but Doyoung had been far off with his thinking. And Taeyong wanted to tell him the truth — _really,_ he did — but he had an awful feeling that Doyoung would perhaps scold him, and that would do nothing but worsen his anxieties.

"Actually, no... It’s..” Taeyong bit his lip, thinking of how he could skilfully avoid the question. He fiddled with his pen, choosing not to meet the Beta's eyes. "...Jaehyun."

One word was enough to explain — that sole name was enough for Doyoung to understand what Taeyong couldn't ever put into words. But it was a half truth, a partial one, because he knew if he had told Doyoung that Jaehyun had asked to meet, then Doyoung may have attempted to dissuade him from going entirely, but he needed this — _they_ needed this, and other people couldn't understand it. He knew how Doyoung looked at him sometimes, he knew how strangers looked at him too; it was with _pity,_ and the sight would always make his stomach turn, squelchy from disapproval — from _disappointment._

"Oh," Doyoung replied simply, something flashing through his quickly too eyes for Taeyong to catch it. But Taeyong didn't need to see it to know what it was. It was odd in a sense, because they were about the same age, Taeyong was even slightly _older,_ yet it was if he was a prodigal son asking permission from his mother. "So, it wasn't the school thing then?"

Taeyong's eyes flickered back upwards, and he sighed, letting the pen in his hand fall limp. He'd been thinking about something along those lines for quite a while, and he had suddenly found the courage to voice it. “I think I want to drop out."

Doyoung sat up straighter at once, and even from beside him, Sicheng had shifted — he was no longer paying attention to whatever he was reading, Taeyong could tell. Sicheng was now eavesdropping, and such a cover up was false pretences at its finest. Taeyong didn't mind if he listened in, but what he couldn't take, however, was the look Doyoung was giving him — harsh and disbelieving, as if the mere conclusion had been stupid. _It wasn't._

Taeyong had been mulling over the thought for _weeks,_ and he had come to the conclusion that he didn't feel like what he was doing was for him. But even so, he didn't know what _was_ for him, and the lack of clear direction in his future did nothing but make his stress skyrocket.

He hadn't dared to speak of it to anyone, he hadn't even dared to speak it to _himself_ out loud, and now that he had... he found it _relieving._ Like weighted bricks had been taken off his shoulders and tongue. It took physical effort to keep secrets at times. And Doyoung's reaction wasn't exactly helping. Taeyong shrunk into himself, absorbing the heavy feeling of his stare, and what he guessed was probably silent judging from Sicheng. A silence passed between them — large, knowing, _anticipating,_ an itching feeling on his skin as he waited for Doyoung to speak up. In some ways, it felt like he needed his approval.

Doyoung's stare turned hard. "You're not doing this because of Jaehyun, right?" His voice had been slightly too loud in volume for the people in the library, but in that moment, none of them had cared.

Taeyong stilled, and he was lost for words for a moment, not because he was thinking of an obtuse to way to lie that that wasn't it, but it was because that truly _wasn't it_ — and he was insulted, someway, somehow, to feel like that's what Doyoung thought it would be. Is that was everyone thought? Is that how they viewed him? Incapable of thinking for and by himself? And Doyoung seemed to notice this, Taeyong's taken-abackness, for his expression softened, slightly apologetic, and even Sicheng slid a hand silently over his thigh — encouraging and reassuring, like Taeyong, too, had been to him a time ago that seemed so distant.

"It's not that—" Doyoung started, switching positions.

"I get why you'd say that," Taeyong interrupted, a hint of frustration in his voice.

Though, in the end, the anger or frustration didn't even last. He understood why it had come across like that — but Taeyong wouldn't be running away from his problems, he had chosen to face them head on a long time ago, and meeting Jaehyun today was one of them. "I just can't bring myself to _enjoy it._ Or even like it. I feel like I'm dragging on and on, only forcing myself to be here because I paid to be, and my parents would be disappointed otherwise."

Taeyong took in a breath and shut his eyes before levelling Doyoung’s stare and looking on, slightly helpless. "I just want to drop out _for myself._ "

Doyoung paused, seemingly taking in his words — _seriously_ this time. And that's what Taeyong could have ever wanted; to be taken seriously. Under the table, he felt a warm hand rub itself soothingly and silently over his thigh. "Have you thought about switching courses? At all? It a long process, but..."

Taeyong frowned at Doyoung's suggestion. He hadn't thought about that, actually — too hyper fixated on the fact that he just wanted to _leave._ Maybe Doyoung was right, maybe he should've given that a thought before deciding he wanted to drop out cold turkey. Jaehyun wasn't his problem, if Jaehyun really wanted him as much as he claimed, it shouldn't matter their distance. Some time ago, Taeyong would have followed him to the end of the earth, and Jaehyun, now, should and would be able to do the same, but that was _if_ his claims to Taeyong were true.

Doyoung reached a hand over the table quietly, placing it on his. "Just think about it, Tae, okay?" he urged, and Taeyong stared down at their hands before nodding. He'd spent so much time thinking about that sole option that he hadn't thought the other possibilities through. And it’d be another thing to sit on, to mull over, to keep him up at night when his body was dead tired but his mind was too overstimulated to fall asleep.

Doyoung removed his hand hesitantly, though, Sicheng’s hand on his thigh stayed put, the Beta now reading with just one hand, and Taeyong silently appreciated it. Staring back down at his own work, the reams of words and work seemed mumbled and jumbled in his head. This wasn't for him, he knew, deep down. Taeyong was visual, he was kinaesthetic, he liked colours, he liked touch, he liked everything but _this._ He groaned in frustration as he put his head down to work, the other half of what had bothered him now bugging at him to tell Doyoung.

But, it was about Jaehyun again, and Taeyong's couldn't deal with a second round of disapproval. Not now. Not when he was so anxious, yet eager, just thinking about what would happen later.

The approach of two Alphas to their study table wasn't sudden, but Taeyong's registration of them was. His head zoomed upwards just as they arrived, an awfully familiar scent wafting through his nose and alerting his fight or flight senses. But, he had chosen to stay — to _fight._ He couldn't allow Chanyeol to make a mockery of him a second time. Though, it had turned out that Chanyeol and the Alpha with him weren’t there for him at all.

"Hey Doyoung," the Alpha beside Chanyeol began.

Taeyong had seen him around somewhere — he was vaguely familiar in a passing way, but they must not have shared any classes. And the thing about the new Alpha was that he seemed _nice._ Much too nice for Chanyeol whose arm was snaked around the other Alpha's waist. Taeyong's eyes fell upon the area and Chanyeol's possessive grip. That must have been his boyfriend.

"Baekhyun," Doyoung said respectively, turning slightly so that he faced the both of them.

Taeyong’s eyes darted between the three of them, feeling rising tension cement itself into his body slowly. What were they here for? And had Chanyeol approached him on purpose? It seemed far too coincidental to be a freak accident, but Taeyong had always had the worst of luck. And then Doyoung broke out into a wide grin, Baekhyun returned it, and Taeyong realised he must've been the only one feeling the way he was. It was paranoia, he knew, wearing away at him.

Chanyeol let his hand fall from Baekhyun's waist so that the other Alpha could sling his bag to the front and take out a handful of notebooks. Baekhyun handed them to Doyoung with a smile, teeth gleaming — a smile so bright he resembled the sun. They were mismatched, Chanyeol and him, in Taeyong's wary opinion. Chanyeol's smile was sharp, rough around the edges, meaningful, but in a way meant to hurt. Not to mention the fact that he was just an absolute _dickhead._

Taeyong felt a shiver of violation course through him at the memory of what happened the Friday of the week prior, and he pursed his lips.

"Thank you for returning them," Doyoung said, mildly impressed as he surveyed his notebooks in mint condition.

"Thank you for letting me borrow them," Baekhyun returned. He turned his head then, eyes landing on Sicheng who was sat beside the only Omega in their small yet large group. "Hello Winnie."

Taeyong was partially stunned. Baekhyun knew them _both._ And Sicheng, who had been largely quiet until then, raised a hand to say hi. Baekhyun's eyes then fell on him, obviously searching for a name unprompted, but Taeyong's stare was on Chanyeol, expecting, waiting, ready to react. But the larger Alpha did nothing — nothing but twitch the corner of his lips into an almost inconceivable smirk. It was meant for Taeyong's eyes only, and Taeyong had been the only one watching closely enough to have noticed it, pinpricks of annoyance picking at his skin.

But, he must have been looking at Chanyeol too hard, his stare must have been too intense, or maybe his gaze was misinterpreted as arousal or interest, because Baekhyun's scent changed from warm and calm to mild and rushed with an undertone of territoriality. Sicheng nudged his side whilst Doyoung prompted, "Taeyong?"

Taeyong's eyes snapped away from Chanyeol, only to meet Baekhyun's eyes. His body retreated slowly back in his chair, shrinking into himself slightly now that everyone's eyes were on him — and not in a good way. Maybe that's what Chanyeol had wanted, because Chanyeol had somehow made him look like the bad guy. Taeyong straightened up to give Baekhyun a more apologetic look, mumbling his very own shy, _"Hi."_

Baekhyun nodded. "Well, my boyfriend and I have to go now.” And Taeyong couldn't help but feel like the word _boyfriend_ had been emphasised, and that it was because of him — but Baekhyun had gotten it wrong, never would Taeyong dream of such a thing. That wouldn't have been a dream, it would have been a damn _nightmare._ "But thank you again for the notes," he said, shifting his gaze onto Doyoung.

"No problem, anytime," Doyoung replied with his signature gummy smile.

Doyoung could often be an instigator of sorts, he could get under people's skin when he needed to, set them off, or piss them off in an almost sly way, but he was also brilliant at diffusing tension. Taeyong guessed the trick was in his smile. Baekhyun's scent relaxed back to what it once was, before he and Chanyeol went off, but not without said Alpha nodding at the three of them respectfully. Taeyong pursed his lips at him, watching Chanyeol as he walked away. Whatever he was here for, Taeyong didn't know, nor did he care, but he had an awful feeling that the Alpha had come to cause trouble, and not for him, for _Jaehyun._

Taeyong wouldn't have it.

Doyoung turned back into his chair, huffing. “Well, that got fucking weird."

"Tell me about it," Sicheng mumbled as he fixated back on his book instead of the retreating Alpha figures.

"It's probably my fault," Taeyong sighed, shoulders slumping now that they were both gone, and his Omega instincts weren't screaming at him to cower. Sometimes it took physically strength not to allow himself to be intimidated, especially by Alphas. Some would have said he'd gotten _ballsy_ — Taeyong just believed he'd gotten better at pretending and faking such confidence. Taeyong paused, realising that Doyoung was staring at him with a brow raised expectedly, asking him to elaborate.

"You know how I get around Alphas sometimes. They put me on edge," Taeyong offered as a sheepish, lame excuse.

He hadn't told Doyoung that he knew Chanyeol, and he didn't think he ever would — perhaps it was out of shame, or perhaps he’d do it in the future. Doyoung clicked his tongue and leaned back in his chair, discarding the study he had been doing earlier completely. In retrospect, Taeyong figured that Sicheng was probably the only one who had gotten anything substantial done. But, Doyoung's eyes were on him now, piercing through his skin and dissecting every thought.

"You need to relax," Doyoung said finally, and Taeyong wholeheartedly agreed. But, the thought of meeting up with Jaehyun after this had already set his nerves on fire. Doyoung stopped to think, "We should have a sleepover."

Taeyong stilled, blinking as he tilted his head. He had no qualms about the idea, but he hadn't expected Doyoung to suggest something so... juvenile? "Just us?"

"Us and whoever. Sicheng and Donghyuck could of course come too," Doyoung was quick to answer with. "You seem a bit stressed — school, Jaehyun, whatever the fuck just happened five minutes ago. And plus, I've always wanted to fulfill my fantasy of having a pillow fight."

"You hit me with a pillow once," Sicheng pointed out, not looking up from what he was reading.

"Yes, and you practically played dead straight after. I need someone who will engage in my games properly," Doyoung went on, and Taeyong nodded, not in the right headspace to fully pay attention.

"Sounds like you need a boyfriend," Sicheng muttered, flicking his eyes up to the other Beta. It somehow felt like he was alluding to who Taeyong thought he was, and if so, _ouch._

"Sounds like you're projecting," Doyoung countered, hitting Sicheng where he knew it would hurt.

And for a moment, Taeyong stared between the both of them, stunned, almost waiting for something sort of a cat fight to break out. Doyoung had a sharp tongue, it wasn't news to anyone, he had always known that, but Sicheng had seemed demure, quiet, soft spoken, and yet, he was throwing passive aggressive comments back and forth with the likes of Doyoung. Taeyong was relatively anxious enough as it was, and if a fight broke out between the two in the middle of the library, his nerves would probably make him throw up.

Then, suddenly, both Sicheng and Doyoung broke out into wide grins, not laughing in the quiet of the library, but their facial expressions were enough to substitute it. It was like an inside joke between them that Taeyong couldn't understand — he didn't _fit in._ But that was okay.

"I'm going to meet Jaehyun now," Taeyong blurted, breaking up what had become a light atmosphere.

Both Sicheng and Doyoung viscerally faltered, and Doyoung's head snapped towards his twice as fast, as Taeyong shrunk into his chair, sheepish. Doyoung's eyes went over his frame, and for an excruciating, yet brief, moment, the thought of cancelling such plans flashed through his mind, if only to avoid Doyoung's scathing stare.

"So that's what this has been about. God, you should've said something earlier. Your nervous pheromones were a pain to deal with," Doyoung said, scrunching his nose in distaste. He wasn't angry, upset, or dissuasive like Taeyong had thought he would be. He must have known — must have _seen it coming._ It would only be a matter of time before Taeyong went back to him, and as much as Doyoung was blatant in expressing his disapproval about Jaehyun, he wasn't going to stop Taeyong. They were lost causes, doomed to only ever find each other.

"Shoo," Doyoung waved a hand in his direction to gesture him to get going. A part of Taeyong had been expecting something else, because there he was, still there rooted in his chair in waiting, like a son asking for their mother for permission to go out for the last time. Was a yes ever _really_ a yes? Doyoung, though, was clearly not as bothered as he was. "You're the flame, he's the moth," Doyoung said absentmindedly, as he focused back on his books, leaving Taeyong to stew in his own anticipation for familial-like approval. "Do what you want, he'll always follow."

Taeyong paused before standing up, nodding as he stood. He found himself smiling as he headed out, suddenly and quietly feeling much more relaxed and at peace. Doyoung was right; he was the flame in the flickers of their intangible relationship — a bright, beautiful, sparking flame.

Taeyong should have known his relaxation wouldn't last long. In fact, his nervousness had only gotten _worse_ the closer he'd gotten to Jaehyun's apartment off campus. He had chosen not to take the bus in fear of car sickness, the mere thought of being with Jaehyun alone to sit down and talk things out somehow making him _nauseous_ — terribly ironic considering the fact that it was all he ever wanted. Though, he couldn't figure out where it stemmed from — fear? excitement? anticipation?

It felt like those emotions and a hundred more were swirling in the pool of his belly at once, the feelings only growing stronger and stronger as he grew closer and closer. Perhaps the feelings in his stomach were a result of cowardice — they had to be. He had never had to deal with Jaehyun like this; he had never had to directly sit down and ask the Alpha what was wrong, because Jaehyun was a bull; hard-headed, unwilling, and always refusing to talk.

Thankfully, the ring of his phone had pulled him out of his thoughts, and he rummaged through his jacket pocket, his front jean ones, and then his back ones before fishing it out. It came of no surprise to him that it was Johnny, because who else with it have been? He'd threatened to block Donghyuck's number if he kept disturbing him for the most trivial things, though he seriously doubted that Donghyuck, of all people, would heed such warning. He'd simply snatch the phone and undo it all.

But, it wasn't Donghyuck, and Johnny had always been one to provide Taeyong a meaningless distraction.

"Um, hello?" Taeyong called out as he walked, partially unsure of the directions he'd been given. It wasn't too far off campus, but he hadn't familiarised himself enough with places to be a hundred percent of where he was going. Taeyong had a shitty sense of direction, Jaehyun would tell him every time the Omega would get lost and young Jaehyun would have to fish him out somewhere he shouldn't have been in the first place.

There was shuffling on the other line, frustrated, grumbling noises — _Donghyuck_ — before Johnny finally came on. "Tae, what's up? Ignore the sounds in the back, I lent Donghyuck my ps4, and he keeps losing," Johnny chuckled.

"Mhm, what are you calling for?" Taeyong asked as he crossed the street and held back a shiver. It was cold out.

"Where are you? I wanted to get a head start on dinner, but I wanted to know how much to portion out. Whenever I leave leftovers, nobody eats them," Johnny went on, sounding mildly upset. There was some more shuffling on the other line, before he spoke up again, "So, when are you coming home?"

Taeyong bit his lip. "I don't think I'll be home for awhile."

"Oh, do you have cheer practice? Or you're over at Doyoung's? Tell him I said hi.. and to answer my texts for once," Johnny mumbled the last part more so to himself, albeit without malice, but Taeyong still wasn't sure if it was for him to have heard in the first place.

"No.. I'm not with Doyoung right now actually, and we don't have practice today," Taeyong said a bit more quietly. And it was if he could hear the gears in Johnny's head turning, slowly, yet effectively, fitting in the pieces. Taeyong didn't go out a lot, at least, not by himself, not when he and Doyoung were constantly joined by the hip. And so, who else? Taeyong gnawed on his inner cheek, contemplating telling Johnny before it would take another few passing seconds for him to figure it out.

"I'm going to visit Jaehyun,” Taeyong got out all in one breath.

The sound of Johnny's movements desisted, and despite the outside noise surrounding him of cars and people, the volume of the silence was large enough to overtake it. Taeyong was unsure how to feel. It wasn't guilt per se, because Johnny had done the exact same thing when he'd confronted Jaehyun without him. This time, Taeyong hadn't consolidated him too, but did he need to? But, there was still an indescribable feeling rising up within him; the need for approval, for praise, for _assurance._ Taeyong could try to get rid of it, but he would always be a people pleaser.

Johnny let out a huff of breath and continued his cooking endeavours on the other line. "That's good, you both need it. Or you need it anyway. Did he text you first to meet or did you..." Johnny trailed off, and Taeyong hummed a yes to the first bit in response. "Oh, same. He texted me first a couple days ago too. If you don't count not being answered for days on end first," Johnny laughed. "Jesus Christ, this sounds so pathetic. Everyone's been leaving me on read."

Taeyong frowned and scrunched his nose, stiff from the cold. "Not everybody," he disputed, remembering how Johnny's phone constantly blew up. Out of Taeyong’s friends, Johnny by far had the largest social circle. "Only Doyoung and Jae."

"Yeah, everyone who _matters._ "

Taeyong didn't bother to argue with that, and Johnny went semi-silent, humming as he moved around. He could hear the clink of pots and pans, making him vaguely miss Johnny's dinners, but he had a feeling that everything he would’ve ate then would’ve immediately come back up. Nausea was a delegate of his growing anxiety. "But, I'll make some extra just in case you come home early for whatever reason... hopefully not though. Stay as long as you need."

Taeyong faltered as he walked, and then furrowed his brows. "What are you implying, Johnathan?" He could practically _see_ Johnny's cheshire grin on the other side.

"Government name? So, what I said must be true?" Johnny teased, a playful lilt to his voice.

"I'm gonna end the call," Taeyong said flatly, sensing an incoming horde of lascivious mocking. And before Johnny could get another word in, Taeyong, true to his word, cut the call.

He shivered at the implications of Johnny's words.. the idea that he was going over there to do something with Jaehyun. His body betrayed him, as splashes of red rippled to his cheeks, and his stomach fluttered. _God,_ the last thing he needed was to arrive at Jaehyun's smelling overly sweet — Jaehyun could read him like an open book, and even though they'd never really acted on it, he'd _know_ that Taeyong was... aroused. If he wouldn't look silly in public, Taeyong would have hid his face behind his hands at the sheer thought of such embarrassment.

Instead, he settled for raising up his scarf to his hollow cheeks and pocketing his phone, but, as he did so, it dinged with a notification. Taeyong pulled it back out, opening up a text from an unknown number, with words so simple that they sent shivers down his spin.

**Hello, Taeyong.**

Taeyong didn't have to spend long sifting through his memory for the handful of people he'd given his phone number, he didn't even have to stress himself by thinking about it for once, or for putting the pieces of the puzzle together, because the answer came just in time.

**It's Chanyeol.**

Taeyong's footsteps ceased.

**Would you like to meet?**   
**I have something to tell you. Maybe something you'd like to know.**

At that moment, there were a flurry of questions that zoomed through Taeyong’s brain. How did Chanyeol get his number? When did he get his number? From who? And _why?_ But, the answer to the last question was obvious. Taeyong wasn't stupid. He knew what Chanyeol had wanted mere moments after he met him — it was _Jaehyun._ Not to take him away, not to love him, because apparently, Chanyeol had his own Alpha boyfriend, but to get to him in a way that would _hurt._ Taeyong felt flattered really, somehow, that Chanyeol thought that the way to do it was through _him._

His fingers hovered over the keys, curiosity nipping away at his being and uncertainty urging him to give a text back. Chanyeol must have been impatient because his typing bubble came up several times, as if thinking (and failing) of ways to entice Taeyong into his offer — into his trap. A man like that was bad news; he screamed lies, he screamed asshole behaviour, he screamed _manipulation._

But, knowing all this, Taeyong still wondered what he knew. What did Chanyeol know that he thought was big enough to warrant them to meet up? The Alpha must have had faith in himself that it was something big.

Taeyong read over his texts. He read each line over and over and over, standing in one place, in the middle of the footpath, and in the rush of the cold. He read Chanyeol's text over once more, before his fingers finally clicked, and away with his phone went his nerves.

He had never known the block button could be so refreshing.

Taeyong wasn't sure what he had been expecting; piles of messy clothes, a kitchen in disarray, maybe even multiple holes in the wall like Johnny had revealed to him and Doyoung a week or two before. But, it was clean, unnervingly so, every surface wiped down from dirt and each item put in the right place — even his frames on the wall were at a perfect ninety degree angle. The only thing off about the place was Jaehyun's scent.

"Your apartment smells weird," was the first thing Taeyong had said when he stepped in, body wracked with nerves, and heart palpitating out of his chest. Jaehyun had closed the door and was right up behind him, so close that Taeyong could feel his body warmth, so close that if he'd turned around, he'd fall easily into his touch. It would have been that simple — it would have been that _easy,_ so he kept his feet and face forward as he surveyed the area.

"I just had my rut," Jaehyun casually slipped in the information.

Oh.

_Oh._

Taeyong, for the life of him, had zero idea what to reply to such a thing, so he opted to stay quiet. But, at least it explained why the smell alone made his stomach swirl and fizzle with low heat, again fueled by the fact that Jaehyun was right behind him. He silently thanked whatever God was listening to his thoughts, when Jaehyun rounded him and headed towards the kitchen. Taeyong's body involuntarily relaxed, and he stepped forward, not bothering to seek permission to essentially snoop around. Jaehyun's living room was too mundane — he preferred somewhere more _exciting._

"You want something to drink?" Jaehyun called from the kitchen.

Taeyong poked his head out of the bathroom — nice and fresh, still just smelled so much like Jaehyun. His scent was everywhere, as it should have been _because this is his apartment, no duh,_ Taeyong thought. But, the scent elicited images in his wormy brain when he looked over at the shower area. And wasn't like he hadn't seen Jaehyun topless — those sort of images were stamped into his mind and put into his little Jaehyun folder — but imagining him showering, water dripping down his awfully defined torso and hair glistening from—

The shuffling in the kitchen paused. "Taeyong?"

Taeyong blinked himself out of his stupor."Oh— err, water!" he replied, partially parched. He then coughed and shut the bathroom door.

Maybe Jaehyun had telepathic skills, or maybe Taeyong just wasn't at all sly with his snooping, because the Alpha laughed from where he was, and Taeyong's cheeks heated up, feeling embarrassed despite Jaehyun not knowing what he had been doing. Taeyong wandered away from his bathroom, and since the entire place wasn't overly large, it came as no surprise to him when he opened the next door and it was Jaehyun's bedroom. Long gone were the days of race car bed sheets and small but odd ornaments — the only similarity with his childhood bedroom was the two medium sized posters of famous, korean football players.

Everything was different. Of course. Taeyong could hardly have expected it to have stayed the same, but one thing he didn't expect _at all,_ though, was a small framed picture standing on Jaehyun's bedside drawer. Taeyong picked up the wood, running his thumb over its shape, as his heart picked up too, warming at the sight of them posing together in a picture.

They were definitely teenagers at the time, probably sixteen, maybe fifteen, or even seventeen, and Jaehyun was behind him with that beautiful, large, dimpled smile, and Taeyong was in front of him, holding up a peace sign. They had taken it on Jaehyun's phone, Taeyong remembered, but he had half expected Jaehyun to have deleted it when the day was over. He really didn't expect, of all things, that he would _frame it._

"Tae."

Taeyong's head shot up, and his reflexes caused him to hide the picture frame behind his back, like a child caught stealing from the cookie jar. Jaehyun had seen him though, that much was obvious, because he broke out into a wide grin, dimples adorning his cheeks. There was a shared, quiet moment between them, and Taeyong wasn't exactly sure what to make of the atmosphere — his stomach was queasy, but in a good way.

"Let's talk." Taeyong was the first to speak. He noticed that there was no water in Jaehyun’s hands — perhaps him going to the kitchen was an excuse to get his shit together.

"In here?" Jaehyun raised a brow, eyes flitting around the bedroom, and licking his lips. It was nothing suggestive, or maybe it was — Taeyong's mind was beginning to go haywire.

He swallowed down nothing. "I'm trying to be serious with you."

Taeyong then watched as Jaehyun strolled languidly to his bed and sat down, arms and body leaned back. Taeyong could feel the heat of Jaehyun's scent coil around him — warm and humid, but stronger now, as if Jaehyun was intensifying them on purpose, as if Jaehyun was trying to _distract_ him. Taeyong placed the frame down and looked back at Jaehyun, furrowing his brows.

"Jaehyun," Taeyong cautioned, attempting to be serious.

Jaehyun levelled his gaze. "Who said I'm not being serious?" he asked, referring to earlier.

Taeyong pursed his lips, feeling the beginning of frustration build up within him, somewhere itching under his skin. And the feeling was familiar; it had _always_ been like this the few times Taeyong had attempted to get through to him. Jaehyun may have been the one to initiate it this time, but that meant nothing if he was unwilling now, and if it continued this way, Taeyong had the growing feeling that he'd just ens up talking to a brick wall.

Taeyong crossed his arms. "Talk to me."

"What is there to talk about?" Jaehyun smiled, teeth bared.

Jaehyun might have been joking, it might've been some playful build up to deny the fact that he, Jung Jaehyun, was actually _nervous._ Maybe it was that. Maybe it wasn't. But for now, it was grating Taeyong's nerves. He hadn't expected Jaehyun to spill his heart out so easily — no, Jaehyun wasn't like that, and he probably never would be. But, he had still expected something _more._ If he hadn't called Taeyong here to explain himself, then what the hell was it?

"Us. Our relationship — or lack thereof. I know you like me, Jaehyun.”

Taeyong was only semi-sure of his words —Jaehyun had even told him that time in the car before everything had inevitably turned into shit and they were both left to stew in the consequences of their own actions, but there was still a part of him that wondered if Jaehyun _really_ liked him. Did he really feel what Taeyong felt? Because it was more than just simple _like._

"I know you do," Taeyong reaffirmed, although it may have been more to himself than anybody else, “but you don't want to be with me, Jae."

Jaehyun looked as if he was going to protest, but Taeyong cut him off.

"If you did, you would never had held me at arms length. You would have never been so close but so far. You would have never made yourself _untouchable._ "

There was a beat of silence. A thought popped up into Taeyong's head.

“If you don't tell me — if you don't be _honest_ with me — I can get other people to. I can ask Johnny all about you, and he wouldn't hesitate to tell me."

That was a lie. Johnny was faithful through and through — Taeyong had tried to get through to Johnny in high school, but he, like Jaehyun, had those awful barriers up that would never allow him to be anything more than cordial with Taeyong. Taeyong understood it, despite his frustrations, how and why Johnny was nothing short of a loyal bulldog.

Taeyong's allusions to Johnny had done the trick, like he had silently hoped it would. Jaehyun may not have had anything against his _best friend_ anymore, but there were still remnants of anger there, scattered across the surface. Jaehyun's eyes immediately turned dark, and his heady scent spiked, causing Taeyong to take a sharp intake of breath. He was aware it was playing a little dirty, but Jaehyun was the one who had more than just grime on his hands. It was that or an ultimatum — Taeyong could walk out of Jaehyun's apartment and never come back.

"Or..." Taeyong started, not exactly meeting Jaehyun's eyes — they had turned far too intense for him, and with it, came the change in atmosphere. "I could ask Chanyeol. He had texted me earlier. He wanted to meet up and talk about—"

"You were texting _who?_ " Jaehyun finally shot up, and Taeyong almost reeled back from the invisible gust of wind that had hit him.

But the fact that Jaehyun had completely misinterpreted his words to fit his own narrative was _beyond_ him. He wasn't going to allow Jaehyun to change the topic and steer the conversation away from himself — he wasn't going to allow Jaehyun to _deflect._ But, Taeyong wasn't as strong as he thought either, he'd been building himself up for _months,_ but he was still glass, he could still break, the only difference was that there were no more cracks on his exterior.

"I'll go to Chanyeol, and I'll go to Johnny unless you start opening up," Taeyong said, determination coating his voice. "Maybe both of those _Alphas_ can tell me what you couldn't. Maybe people who I don't even know, know more about you than me. But I swear to God, Jae, if I leave, you will not see me back here. I'll go to the both of them and—"

"My father hit me, is that what you fucking wanted to hear?" Jaehyun snapped.

Taeyong's jaw _dropped._

Taeyong took a step back, searching for words that were long lost on his tongue. Jaehyun's nostrils flared, shoulders squaring as he took a step forward. "My father hit me until he couldn't anymore. I inherited his fuckass anger problems, and _both_ my parents are infidels. I don't trust fucking relationships, Taeyong, because you're bound to lose people. I lost Johnny, I lost my fucking dead nanny, I even lost my parents — Tae, I can't lose _you._ "

Jaehyun took in a breath. "So I don't trust them, and I don't _want_ one." Taeyong's lips quivered, words falling flat upon his tongue. Jaehyun's fists were knuckled white, and there was lidded fury in his eyes. Suddenly, it broke, and he shut his eyes. "Shit.. _fuck._ Taeyong, I don't want to lose _you._ "

"Jaehyun, I—"

"That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? That I, Jung Jaehyun, am _scared_ of commitment. Are you happy now? Is that what you've so desperately been fucking searching for?" Jaehyun's words had come out of a growl, but Taeyong could see it now, he could see past the facade and put on anger, he could smell his scent, he could read his feelings — for Taeyong, it had _clicked._

"Oh, Jaehyun," Taeyong said, shaking his head sadly.

And it was almost as if Jaehyun visibly winced at the pity in his words. Taeyong didn't hesitate to take a step forward, he didn't think before encapsulating the Alpha in his arms — he merely tightened his hold around the Alpha, fingers barely skimming each other at the back of Jaehyun's broad torso, and gently pushed him back until they were on the bed; Jaehyun limp in his arms and Taeyong straddling his thighs.

The drop in Jaehyun's scent was obvious — the lack of anger there — and Taeyong carded hand through his hair, as Jaehyun's head fell into his shoulder, hidden and concealed. His grip on Jaehyun's hair almost tightened with his own rage, the thought of him and Jaehyun's family at the dinner table mere days before Christmas. He remembered Mr Jung and his wife — their smug smiles, their controlling behaviour, their complete and utter lack of respect for him and their own son, and it made Taeyong grow angry. He wanted to let the anger consume him; boil and fester until he’d march into the Jung's mansion himself and ripped down their walls from the outside in, starting with Jaehyun's childhood bedroom itself.

He couldn't even _begin_ to imagine what it was like growing up there.

Quietly, Taeyong removed the Alpha's head from his shoulder with his hands, cradling his face, and wiping his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. But Jaehyun wasn't crying. His eyes weren't even wet. Taeyong, somehow, hadn't expected them to be. Jaehyun didn’t cry. The only thing Jaehyun did was speak.

"You remember Chanyeol?" Jaehyun started, voice tender. Taeyong couldn't have chosen to forget if he wanted to, memories of the Alpha's sleazy behaviour engraved in his mind — the thought caused a shiver of disgust to snake through his spine. Not to mention the fact that he had just received a text from him less than an hour earlier. Taeyong nodded, face visibly souring. "He was one of the reasons I had left."

"He knew you.. at the fair that day. I had showed him pictures of you, even,” Jaehyun continued.

"You told him about me?"

In spite of the seriousness of the situation, Taeyong couldn't help the prominent blush that rose to his cheeks, staining it a warm, bright pink. The mention of something so trivial shouldn't have made him feel the way it did. But it did. And Jaehyun smiled at that, if only a little — a mere twitch of stoic lips.

"Of course I did," Jaehyun said, furrowing his brows harshly. If Taeyong didn't know him — if Taeyong didn't _feel for him,_ he would have reeled back like any other sane person would. But, instead, he kept Jaehyun's jaw held carefully in his cheeks, like some sort of delicate flower the Alpha would never be. "We were best friends at the time, the both of us. I thought we were." Jaehyun paused. "Taeyong, I told him _everything._ "

Taeyong stilled.

_Oh._

He had to keep his fingers from digging into Jaehyun's skin with anger than wasn't even directed at him.

"We were both on the football team, of course. And he wanted my position. We were best friends, I didn't think much of it, because fuck, Alphas are _greedy._ We always want more. Even I'm greedy when it comes to you." Jaehyun's hands rose and settled on his hips, and Taeyong couldn't stop the blush that emerged, hitting him again at full force. "He made up some rumours about me with it. Used the whole dad thing against me and made up all sorts of shitty things that made me spiral.”

Taeyong winced. He remembered Jaehyun's hotheadedness and his willingness to fight his way in and out of things rather than to talk. It was normal for Alphas, in a sense, but even Taeyong could tell that he had some sort of mild anger issues — passed down maybe, from his father, though Mr Jung had been far better at hiding it.

Jaehyun levelled his gaze. "My last straw was the whole _'daddy's boy'._ I know it sounds so stupid, but it honest to God made me snap.” Taeyong nodded at his words, vaguely remembering Chanyeol saying the exact same thing at the valentine's fair — the exact same thing that caused Jaehyun to flair up. "I fought him in front of everyone in the middle of practice and got kicked off the team because I provoked it. Fucking bullshit."

Jaehyun took in a deep, almost shaky, breath, and he shut his eyes as Taeyong grazed his fingers against his cheeks. Jaehyun's eyes opened, lidded, and they fell downwards, upon Taeyong's features. “Thank you for listening to me," he said in a heavy breath.

"Of course, you know I would—"

Suddenly, Jaehyun surged forward, lips landing on Taeyong's in a powerful kiss, swallowing whatever reassurance was to come next from the cusps of Taeyong's lips. Taeyong had faltered, mind going blank, before he followed Jaehyun's lips, moving in tandem. Heat pooled in his belly, low and warm, like flickering flames, making his body feel punctures of pleasure all over his skin. Jaehyun's hands held his waist tightly, before he tilted his head and bit down on Taeyong's bottom lip, not asking — _demanding_ for entrance.

And it wasn't at all like the kiss they had as teenagers, when Jaehyun came home drunk one night, called Taeyong over, and kissed him before falling asleep in his arms. It wasn't sloppy. It was skilled and guided, Jaehyun's hot tongue swirling in his mouth as Taeyong whimpered and mewled. But Jaehyun didn't know that. To him, it was their first kiss, and maybe the way he was kissing Taeyong so fervently was in an attempt to prove himself, or maybe just to make up for lost time.

Their scents intensified, and in the back of his mind, Taeyong was distantly aware that Jaehyun had apparently just had his rut, the knowledge only fuelling the want begging to escape his body further. It was only when Jaehyun's hard, calloused hands travelled up his shirt, hot, yet cool to touch, and he became aware of Jaehyun’s of pressing erection beneath him — and also aware of the fact that he was lowly _grinding down_ on said erection — did he pull back.

Taeyong pushed off, hands firmly placed against Jaehyun's chest, as the Alpha practically chased the kiss, and the feeling of Taeyong's lips on his. Taeyong breathed heavily, eyes landing on Jaehyun's lips which were slick with spit, dark red, and heavily swollen. He did that. _He did that._

Taeyong felt a rush of pride swoop through his chest.

Jaehyun leaned in for another kiss, which Taeyong was _sure_ would lead to something more for the fact that Jaehyun was determined, and Taeyong would be too intoxicated and drunk on his scent, on his lips, on his _touch,_ to ever stop him. And so, Taeyong leaned far back. Taeyong had built up strength, but he wasn't immovable, and there were parts of him Jaehyun would always be able to crumble easily with the mere flick of his finger. Taeyong bit down on his own lip and watched as Jaehyun's eyes fixated on them, now growing dark.

"We shouldn't."

"Why not?" Jaehyun's voice practically came out as a lust filled growl. Taeyong pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, and Jaehyun softened his voice. _"Why not?"_

"Because," Taeyong said simply. There were many reasons they shouldn't take it further, no matter how tempting the offer seemed.

"Because?" Jaehyun drawled, pushing his head forward, like some sort of eager dog.

"Because I said so," Taeyong finished the sentence for him, an almost teasing edge to his voice. Jaehyun drew his eyebrows forward and slitted his eyes, zeroing in on Taeyong's wet, swollen lips as if contemplating whether to take their argument further. He then shut his eyes, huffed, and grumbled an incoherent agreement. Taeyong smiled at him before reaching out a hand to arrange his hair which they had somehow managed to... mess up.

"Good boy," Taeyong said as if he were talking to a pet.

Jaehyun grunted but stayed silent as Taeyong leaned forward to rest his head on his chest. Taeyong hadn't been in such a position for awhile, and Jaehyun's chest was even less comfy then he remembered — hard muscle and indented lines, nothing at all plush to properly lay his head in, but it was _Jaehyun,_ and frankly, Taeyong was too over the moon to care. The past hour had been a rollercoaster, and Taeyong hadn't forgotten what Jaehyun had told him, but he wouldn't allow it to spoil his or Jaehyun's mood. It was a rare moment for them — _this_ — and there was a nagging voice in the back of his mind that told him it wouldn't last.

"You should come for a sleepover," Taeyong mumbled, extending Doyoung's previous offer. It was a random thought that had struck him in his quiet, and his lips had already uttered the words before his mind could stop him. Jaehyun perked up at the suggestion, probably thinking Taeyong was indicating something else entirely. Taeyong nuzzled his head into Jaehyun’s chest further. "Mmm, Doyoung will be mad at me, but he loves me too much to say no."

Jaehyun raised an amused brow. "Isn't that taking advantage of him?"

Taeyong frowned before peeling himself off and hitting Jaehyun's chest — _lightly._ "You're making me sound like a bad person. We love _each other._ "

Jaehyun chuckled, deep and honest, and Taeyong found himself relaxing at the sound. He locked the split second image of Jaehyun's laughter into his mind’s vault, which had an awfully embarrassing amount of Jaehyun-centric memories. But, it wasn't his fault — wherever he went, Jaehyun had been at too. Despite Jaehyun's laughter, his grip on Taeyong's waist tightened in an almost startlingly possessive manner.

"You're far from a bad person." He leaned forward, and Taeyong’s breath caught stuck in his throat, momentarily unable to say no. All Jaehyun did, though, was place his head into the crook of Taeyong's neck. "If anything, I'm the bad one," he mumbled as he nosed the slender, milky white area. He was overcome with the sudden urge to _mark it._

Taeyong pursed his lips, but he agreed. "You are."

Jaehyun paused before pulling away from him, eyebrows raised as if he should be offended but was truly anything but. "So you're not going to deny it?"

"No, of course not. You're a bit mean. You've always been mean. And I still like you, so I'm not much better for liking a mean person like you," Taeyong went on, explaining himself casually. _A masochist,_ the Doyoung-esque voice in his brain provided, and another voice in his brain agreed. There was something wrong with him, he knew, because why else would he feel subtly aroused when Jaehyun was being nothing but _cruel._ And it was if Jaehyun knew it — sometimes Jaehyun would send him _looks,_ like he was aware, despite the way he was, Taeyong would have him no other way.

Except the communication issues. Taeyong wanted to fix that.

Jaehyun smirked. "What a way to treat your boyfriend."

Taeyong's jaw fell at the words, and upon reflex, he pulled away completely, sliding out of Jaehyun's lap before the Alpha could even think to stop him. Jaehyun's words had made his heart soar, him giving a label to what they never were, but it was _wrong._ It was _insulting_ — he must have thought Taeyong was easy, and Taeyong couldn't fully bring himself to be mad, because he had always made himself be that way. He had always allowed Jaehyun to stake such claims, looming over his head, large and silent, without protest.

"We're not dating," Taeyong said, face pinched.

Jaehyun's expression dropped into something otherwise unreadable, but Taeyong knew that rare look, he must have been _confused._ Taeyong looked away from him as he spoke, feeling himself crumble and wanting to give in now that they had gotten so far — now that they had crossed the mountain-level bridge that had stopped them from ever progressing. And yet, it wasn't enough. "You know everything you said today explains your actions, but they weren't an excuse."

Taeyong sounded harsh, he sounded mean, he sounded an awful lot like Jaehyun, but it was to be expected. Did Jaehyun really predict any less? And he was ruining their built up atmosphere, he knew, but it wasn't a temper tantrum or some sort of petty fight or debate — Doyoung had told him that before, that if it ever came down to it, _you should get what you deserve._

"I want you to do it properly."

 _Be courted,_ Taeyong omitted. Or something like that. Something romantic. Jaehyun knew what he wanted, and if not, he'd have to figure it out.

"Where are you going?" Jaehyun's words sliced through the air, but there wasn't anger in them — it was frustration. It was frustration and something more — perhaps longing, perhaps yearning — as Taeyong walked out of his room, leaving him there alone.

"Home to Donghyuck. And Johnny,” Taeyong tacked on the last part, feeling the corner of his lips tug upwards.

As he picked up his bag and headed to the door, he felt himself dizzy with the change in Jaehyun's scent, heavy with bitter undertones of possessiveness, want, and mild vexation. Taeyong shut the door and breathed out before he set off, body weighted from the day's events, yet feet growing lighter with every step. And he knew it then; he knew he wouldn't stop mentioning Johnny or any other Alpha — not now, not ever, not if it got Jaehyun like _that._

Taeyong was feeling a little bit _voracious._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they actually did it... they actually sat down and had a (mini) talk. who woulda thought? shittttt, not me. and God, it took them 10 chapters to kiss. barely. uh, wow, congratulations to everyone for making it this far. kudos or comments appreciated :)! <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc activities](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	11. Sleepover

Taeyong glid a hand down his bare torso, shivering slightly as he did so. With the cold nipping at his skin, he quickly pulled his uniform skirt off next, now feeling oddly exposed despite the stall door that prevented Doyoung from even peeking in. He had seen Doyoung nearly _half naked_ once actually, that robe he wore around his house on weekend mornings slipping once, but they weren't to the point where they had seen each other dicks. He'd seen Donghyuck naked, Johnny too for reasons that needn't be named, but it had never been the other way around, and Jaehyun's was a case he didn't even want to delve his mind into.

"Hurry up," Doyoung urged, and Taeyong could hear the almost noiseless tapping of his phone from where Doyoung was standing outside, on the other side. "I'm still really pissed off at you, you know, for inviting him. Makes me wanna barge in there and strangle you."

"Reserve that for the pillow fight?" Taeyong suggested meekly, shuffling in the cheer changing room stall.

Doyoung's voice wasn't as harsh as when Taeyong had first told him, and even then, his anger hadn't lasted long — and he somehow felt like Jaehyun was right too, that he had somehow taken advantage of Doyoung's niceness towards him, even if that may have been a slight over exaggeration. Doyoung couldn't have stayed angry, even when he knew Taeyong had practically invited Jaehyun over to ruin their plans, but he was still a bit irked, and there was nothing Taeyong could say nor do to change that. Doyoung just bringing it up again made him cower a little at the memory of his previous scolding.

"Since you want to invite so many people to this sleepover, we might as well turn it into a party," Doyoung said flatly, "I should invite Baekhyun and see how that goes."

"No!" Taeyong blurted far too quickly for it to have ever seemed normal. And he could feel the atmosphere change then, something in the air tensing and tightening with suspicion. Doyoung had probably dropped his phone and narrowed his eyes, something questionable glazing over them — that signature look he gave whenever he knew Taeyong was lying or spilling embarrassing half truths.

But Taeyong couldn't tell him why he didn't want Baekhyun to come, why Baekhyun inevitably meant _Chanyeol,_ and why Chanyeol coming — even if it was showing up to pick or drop Bakehyun off at the apartment — would cause so much trouble. He was still on edge about the texts he had received from the Alpha two days before — on edge, nervous, and _curious._ But Taeyong had blocked his number, and he wouldn't be unblocking it so soon, if ever. He wouldn't deal with Chanyeol again, not unless, someway, somehow, he was forced to.

"I mean..." Taeyong began in an effort to cover up his tracks, "We can still leave it as a sleepover... just with an excessive amount of people. We should invite Ten too or else it'd be rude, plus his presence would probably make it less awkward? Jaehyun honestly isn't even that bad.. he just needs a few tweaks, be nice." Taeyong frowned as he put on the rest of his clothes then and combed a hand through his hair.

"You're just biased," Doyoung told him, and Taeyong couldn't even bring himself to argue with the fact — it was nothing if not _true._ "You know, you have the terrible habit of thinking you can fix people," he said nonchalantly.

Taeyong stopped in his tracks, partially offended as he fixed his hair mid-air, but only to a certain degree because there was truth in Doyoung's words if he were to look into it, if he were to dig down deep into him and dissect it — but it didn't exactly feel like the time for weighted introspection. Taeyong pulled a face at him, Doyoung not seeing it for the fact that he was all the way on the other side.

Taeyong huffed a breath, "I do not."

"You're right," Doyoung continued as Taeyong unlocked the stall door with a click to step out, the words in his mouth spilling over like mere afterthought, "you're only like that with Jaehyun."

Taeyong scrunched his nose at Doyoung who was giving him a once over. Doyoung then leaned forward to fix his hair, lips pursed slightly, making Taeyong suddenly feel weirdly at home, as if he was with his mother. Doyoung stepped back, placing his hands on his hips and giving Taeyong a disapproving stare. "My apartment doesn't even have enough space for.. what? The six of us? We literally have like, two rooms. Sicheng and I could make space for you and Donghyuck, but where the hell could we put both Jaehyun _and_ Ten — which I love Ten, don't get me wrong, but he's more your friend than mine."

Doyoung had a point, Taeyong could admit, but he had already extended the invitation to Jaehyun, and he wasn't ready to revoke it — he didn't _want_ to revoke it. But Jaehyun's presence would pose another problem he hadn't thought of; he'd be the only Alpha. It wouldn't have been a problem in any other situation, but he had a feeling that Jaehyun's domineering presence would have set them all on edge.

"We should do it at my place," Taeyong suggested, unthinking, as he placed his uniform into his bag. He then slipped past the Beta to walk to his locker area.

Doyoung faltered momentarily before coming up behind him. "With Johnny? So there's seven of us?" Doyoung's voice wasn't coated with hesitation nor apprehension, more so skepticism than anything else.

"Yeah, why not?" Taeyong answered, swallowing down nothing and opting not to look Doyoung in the eye so the Beta wouldn't catch unto what he was planning.

Hosting it at their place made far more sense — they had three bedrooms, and it was just overall more free and spacious. He had also suggested it because he was trying to set them up — Doyoung and Johnny, and he'd been doing so for quite some time. He was too nosy for his own good, and Doyoung had scolded him for it once, pinching his cheeks in a way that was more firm than usual after he had abandoned the Beta and Alpha together in the cafeteria, but Taeyong still hadn't stopped him from setting them up in the littlest ways.

And Taeyong had never been good at playing matchmaker — hell, he had barely managed to scrape a pass in his own love life, but that didn't mean he couldn't _try._

"Why not?" Doyoung threw his words back at him, laughing lightly, "You think you're so sl—"

Doyoung paused mid sentence once they rounded another corner to go to Taeyong's locker. There was another person waiting for them there, the locker room not as empty as they once both thought, and both now also acutely aware that Doyoung wasn't allowed to be in it at all. Taeyong eyed the Omega — their team captain, Rosé, who was seemingly scrolling through her phone, waiting for him. Taeyong stepped closer first, hesitance piling in his bones, and Rosé, as if sensing his noiseless presence, turned around with a smile bright, large, and beautiful.

"Taeyong!" she greeted, going in for a hug immediately before noticing who was behind him. "And Doyoung!" she added as she pulled away, her sweet, flowery scent waning with her. Doyoung forced a smile at her, and Taeyong shot him a look — Doyoung could be nice when he wanted to be, but on the other side of that exact same coin, he could be just as unapproachable.

"Uh, hey, I didn't know you came to do extra practice too," Taeyong started sheepishly, hoping his captain wouldn't scold him for bringing Doyoung into their changing area. Rosé, on the other hand, wasn't worried about that at all.

"I do sometimes, but that's not why I'm here," she informed him.

Taeyong fiddled with the lock momentarily, something in his gut telling him he wasn't about to like what she would say, or perhaps that he was overthinking it, too on edge from everything and everyone else — Chanyeol having seemingly done a number on him. He now had an aversion to random talks from strangers worse than before because it had never seemed to be anything good.

"So..." she started up again, "you and Jaehyun?"

Taeyong's hand came down the lock and he turned to face her fully, eyes falling on Doyoung first as they shared a wordless look. His breath felt tight as his eyes went to Rosé instead, because Taeyong had been in this exact situation one too many times to count; Omega, sometimes even Beta, girls and guys alike approaching him in the high school hallway solely to ask if he and Jaehyun were a thing. They had barely known his name, nor had they cared, and it had been years since then, but his answer still remained the same as it did all that time ago.

"We're not dating," Taeyong answered her honestly, taking longer than was necessary to just _spit it out._

In essence, it was the truth — they weren't dating, and Jaehyun still hadn't done anything to court him, but to say that they were nothing, like the times he had answered that question before, would have been a lie. And Rosé's eyes widened slightly, taken aback, but something glinting in her eye like she was happy about the fact. Taeyong couldn't fault her for it, but he couldn't stand it either, so he turned back to his locker to open it, lips drawn into a thin, fine line.

"Oh wow. Are you sure? Because I was wondering if you—"

Rosé was cut short when Taeyong's locker was drawn open and out fell a heap of flowers and pink petals at his feet. Taeyong watched, stunned, as they fell as if in slow motion, cascading around his feet, and he blinked back down at them, lips slightly parted. He then looked up at Doyoung and Rosé slowly. Doyoung looked, unsurprisingly, surprised, that mixed in with _impressed,_ and Rosé was just as shocked, with something else in her previous expression now shifting. Taeyong glanced back at his opened locker again, eyes landing upon a closed, pink card. He didn't have to read it to know who it was from — who he _hoped_ it was from.

"So," Rosé started back up again, swallowing down her pride, "you are dating — if that's from him, that is... congratulations."

She sounded genuinely happy for him, albeit still a bit shocked, her voice gone meek. And Taeyong understood it, he himself still couldn't fathom it — that Jaehyun had known what Taeyong meant when he rejected him, that he'd _understood_ what Taeyong had wanted. Taeyong, of course, hadn't held back from him without reason. Though, he hadn't expected it in the slightest, and maybe the action was cliché or overdone, but it still made Taeyong's heart flutter nonetheless. These small gestures weren't a lot to ask for, but they were just as impactful.

Taeyong's heart felt warm at the thought of Jaehyun coming in to stuff his locker with flowers and chocolates alone. But he was ripped out of admiration and awe when the door to the changing room swung open and in came Ten. The Omega paused in his tracks when he looked at the beautifully laid out mess beneath Taeyong's feet.

Ten stilled, eyes flickering between all three of them and the unparalleled looks on each of their faces. "What did I miss?"

Taeyong was scurrying around his and Johnny's shared apartment, cleaning up what he felt like needed to be cleaned. It was the nerves getting to him, that much was obvious, and it wasn't without reason. He'd overestimated himself by a long shot, he surely hadn't thought this through — what the hell was he _thinking_ inviting Jaehyun? God, he could already imagine the atmosphere between him and Johnny, and his mind ran to the worse case scenario of another fight breaking out.

It was unrealistic, but Taeyong's mind didn't exactly care for realism when the neurons in his brain were firing from overwhelming stress.

Johnny, on the other hand, wasn't even half as bothered as he was. He hadn't even batted an eye when Taeyong told him that basically, they'd be throwing a party of sorts. Sleepover was a blanket term — it was more of a get together with awkwardly picked people who knew too much about each other yet sometimes acted like strangers, either that or had silent beef stirring between them that would probably set everybody on edge. Taeyong's inner cheek was bitten raw just thinking about it.

As if called forward by his thoughts, Johnny walked out from the hallway and glanced at Taeyong whilst he made his way into the kitchen. "You're still cleaning? It's been hours."

Donghyuck snorted from where he sat in front of the living room tv playing Johnny's ps4. "Tell him that for me, please. Can't fucking concentrate with his scent in the air like that — it's throwing me off my game. And he's already fluffed the same pillow about _five fucking times._ "

Taeyong turned around from the chair to which he had actually been fluffing the pillow for the _seventh_ time. He was about to tell Donghyuck about how he'd be losing with or without him there regardless and then scold him for leaving crisp crumbs and packets from where he sat, but then the bell rang. Taeyong stiffened, eyes darting over to Johnny who was filling up some water from the tap. They shared looks, and Taeyong's breath hitched as Johnny's eyes flickered over to the door, signalling for him to open it.

Taeyong gulped before making his way over to the front door, but as he approached, he realised that he couldn't smell anything on the other side — not the sweet scent of an Omega, nor the rich, heady scent of an Alpha. Taeyong's body relaxed on instinct, now knowing who it was without even having seen him — _them_ — yet. Doyoung was harmless, Sicheng too — both of them if you took out all the extra sharp bits and pieces.

"You made it," Taeyong said, sighing in relief when he opened the door and there was no other than Doyoung himself with Sicheng standing quietly beside him.

Their cheeks were pink with cold, and Doyoung's cheeks were puffed slightly, making him look like a bunny. When Doyoung leaned in for a hug, Taeyong pinched his cheeks, and Doyoung swatted his hand away, not liking how they'd reversed the roles. Taeyong gave Sicheng a sort of side hug, and then both Beta's stepped out from the cold and into his and Johnny's warm apartment. Doyoung walked in like he knew the place — as if he _lived_ there — but Sicheng was undeniably (and understandably) awkward.

"Mmm, Hey!" Donghyuck greeted, all of a sudden turning his game off and standing up with a stretch.

Taeyong was surprised by his actions. Doyoung greeted him cordially and Sicheng said his own little, awkwardly placed _hi_ in return. Taeyong was reminded of the time he'd first met Sicheng — he had thought the Beta was cold and standoffish, but now he understood that the Beta wasn't like that at all, and like most things, Taeyong must have been overthinking it. That memory also brought about _Yuta,_ and Taeyong had to shake his head with a grimace to get rid of it. That was _incredibly_ unwanted.

Whilst Donghyuck stalked off after cleaning up after himself, Taeyong turned to Doyoung who was shrugging his coat off. He eyed Doyoung and Sicheng's empty hands with a frown. "Where are your things? Were you planning to borrow mine? I don't think we have enough spare toothbrushes."

Doyoung stilled, back turned as he hung his coat up on their coat hanger. He turned to smile at Taeyong with the apologetic tilt of his head. "Sorry, Sicheng said he didn't really want to stay the night because of the Alphas. I didn't want to leave him alone at home tonight either so—"

"No I didn't," Sicheng cut in, " _you_ said that," he corrected. Sicheng's foot was side kicked by Doyoung, and before either of Sicheng or Taeyong could butt in a reply, Johnny stepped out of the kitchen, awkward in stance — or more so hesitant, as if he was unsure where he stood.

"I can leave if you want me to. So it'll just be you guys. I can even go to the store to get you guys some spare toothbrushes and stuff if you want," the Alpha offered.

Taeyong could only guess that Johnny was trying to fix the situation that he had directly or indirectly caused, and maybe it was part of his courting, or an attempt to make Doyoung, for once, spare a glance in his direction. To see it up close made Taeyong cringe a little at the desperation, and he wondered if that's how he used to look, and if that was how people used to view him. He was glad to be past time, but Johnny still had some way to go.

Doyoung scowled. "It's fine. Just show me where you keep the tequila." Doyoung then walked straight past Johnny and into the kitchen, and Johnny viscerally stumbled before going after him. It was just Sicheng and Taeyong left then, with Sicheng shifting from foot to foot like he didn't know what to do or say.

Sicheng could be hard to figure out at times, especially since they were _just_ becoming friends, and the Beta didn't have a scent so it was hard to decipher his emotions — whether he truly wanted to be there or not, whether he actually even _liked_ Taeyong, there was no scent to indicate any of it, not like Taeyong's whose scent gave away his emotions years before his face did. But he figured Sicheng wouldn't be here if he didn't like him _somewhat._

"Do you have a charger?" came out at the same time as, "Do you want anything to drink?"

They both looked at each other for a moment, flustered, before breaking out into wide grins. Taeyong nodded and told him to take a seat while he went and got his charger from his room. When he turned around, however, his expression shifted back into one of nervousness. Really, he'd only ever had sleepovers with Donghyuck before, and Jaehyun sort of, and they'd usually just lazy about on the bed and talk before one of them fell asleep, and both times it was usually never him. He'd never thrown one of those big ones he had seen on tv because he really never had enough friends to. He didn't know how it was supposed to go, but he had a feeling that he was already somehow doing it wrong.

Despite his bout of self doubt, he was still aware enough to notice Donghyuck passing by him again in the hallway looking... _different._ Taeyong paused in front of the Omega to give him a once over. There was glitter on his eyes and his lips had a light sheen, not to mention that he had actually bothered to change his outfit. Donghyuck wanted to side step him, but Taeyong stepped to the side just as quickly as he had.

"Did you invite Mark?" Taeyong stopped to ask, eyebrows raising in surprise.

His intuition — his _gut_ — was telling him that Donghyuck had to have dressed up for a reason, it was practically common sense. Donghyuck never got himself done up when at home, and even that one time when Johnny brought in his Alpha friend for a couple of hours, Donghyuck did not change out of or run away in his orange juice stained pajamas, instead parading himself in and out of the living room and kitchen without a care in the world.

"Duh, everyone else has a plus one," Donghyuck argued, "you brought Ten, Doyoung brought his roommate, Johnny brought Jaehyun, so why can't I invite anyone? That's so unfair," Donghyuck whined, stomping his foot childishly. "Plus, it'll probably be the last time before I see him for awhile, I bet he'll be too busy to text," Donghyuck said, voice suddenly losing its vigour and fading into morose.

Taeyong found his switches in mood amazing, if not quite alarming, and reached out to touch his cousin who dodged him, not wanting to be touched. Donghyuck made his way past him without another word, sulking, and Taeyong looked on, biting his lips, but ultimately deciding to let him be. He shook his head out of his daze and quickly retrieved his charger from his room to give to Sicheng. When he came back, he was met with Donghyuck seated across Sicheng on the sofa, talking to him amicably.

But Taeyong could tell he was nervous about Mark's arrival — he knew the signs; how Donghyuck's leg bounced in anticipation and how his words came out slightly too fast whenever he gave a response.

Taeyong smiled as he made his way to the kitchen to get them all drinks before pausing at the door. Doyoung was pushed back up against the counter, and Johnny was in front of him, hands on both his sides as if to cage him. Their faces were unnaturally close, but they made no moves to lean any closer. Taeyong could tell that Johnny was talking despite his back turned to him, because Doyoung's face was pulled into a concentrated, listening expression, for the first time — that Taeyong had been witness to — actually hearing Johnny out. It wasn't like he had much of a choice due to their position, but Taeyong knew that if Doyoung didn't want to be there then he simply wouldn't.

Johnny was leaning closer it seemed, and Taeyong's breath hitched on Doyoung's behalf, but then the doorbell rang and snapped them all out of it — Taeyong from his intruding, Doyoung from whatever daze Johnny had put him under, and Johnny from his advances. Doyoung's head shot over to where Taeyong was standing like a fish out of water, and Johnny's eyes followed too. Doyoung pushed himself out of Johnny's makeshift cage, but Johnny caught his arm, and Taeyong could feel a storm coming before it even began.

"I'll get it," Taeyong squeaked before turning around and promptly making his leave. He let out a wound up breath, body glad to be out of the lovers' quarrel. He presumed Ten was at the door next, too stunned by Johnny and Doyoung's rendezvous to think otherwise, so he was practically starstruck when he opened the door and it was none other than Jung Jaehyun.

Taeyong went stiff with shock at the sight of him, suddenly made aware of the hammering in his chest. He didn't know how it was possible that Jaehyun could take his breath away like this every. single. time. But there was just something about Jaehyun standing under the gentle glow of the moonlight that felt different than Jaehyun on an everyday, though that too was of meagre exception. Taeyong guessed it was because he and Jaehyun's most important moments had always taken place under the stars — there was a meaning and a background to it. Taeyong couldn't rationalise his current feelings in any other way.

"Hello to you too, Bubu." Jaehyun grinned as he made his way in. Taeyong blinked uselessly before shutting the door.

And before he could register it, Jaehyun spun him around, two hands pressed firmly on his waist, and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Taeyong's stomach rippled with an onslaught of tiny butterflies as Jaehyun's lips lingered there for longer than what they both knew was necessary. Now so close up, Taeyong could smell the scent of peach, so heady and so strong that it was as if it was all around him — it was as if _Jaehyun_ was all around him; in front, behind, in each little corner of his mind and crevice of his skin. His touch was tangible, and it made Taeyong shiver, goosebumps erupting on his skin in the wake of where Jaehyun's ice cold hands held him.

Jaehyun pulled away, and although he was the one who had done all the action, it was Taeyong who was breathless when he spoke, "You made it."

Jaehyun's eyes swept over him, pupils dilating — or perhaps Taeyong had imagined it, wanting to make something out of nothing, but there was no denying the slight sweetness to Jaehyun's scent, slightly more prominent than usual. It could've been the after effects of rut, or it could have been that Jaehyun was genuinely happy to see him. Taeyong was now semi-confident enough to pick the latter.

"Mm, of course I would," Jaehyun replied, "I'm more surprised that I got an invitation, didn't think you were one for confrontation." Then seeing Taeyong's expression shift, Jaehyun chuckled. "I'm joking. Did you think I came here lookin' for a fight, babe?" Jaehyun asked, and Taeyong flushed at his words, the blush that had threatened him when Jaehyun first arrived now fulfilling its promise. "Besides, we're all good now."

As if on cue, Johnny stepped out of the kitchen, followed by Doyoung, and his eyes lit up when he saw his best friend. Or ex best friend. Taeyong was still unsure. But what he did do was push himself out of Jaehyun's arms, slightly scandalised, as if he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. In the back of his mind, he was aware that Jaehyun may have taken that the wrong way — but Jaehyun only had himself to blame; they'd never done even such baby PDA in public, and that was entirely _Jaehyun's_ fault.

But Jaehyun's thoughts mustn't have been aligned with Taeyong's at all because there was no spike of jealousy in the air, he simply pulled Johnny in for their infamous bro hug — the one with the hand and finger stuff Taeyong could never figure out, and both Johnny and Jaehyun had refused to teach him. _It's a bro thing,_ Johnny had told him in high school when Taeyong had asked with hopefulness in his eyes, the want and need to be included making him so bright and eager, and then Jaehyun's answer itself had been a flat out _no._

Jaehyun's stance on PDA with him must have also changed, because when he pulled away from Johnny, he placed his hands right back on Taeyong's waist and pulled him right to his front where he had initially belonged. Jaehyun and Johnny were sharing some sort of coy, indecipherable look that had Taeyong's head hurting from trying to figure out. He didn't know how they made up so quick — he didn't even know when they had made up _at all,_ but maybe Johnny had been right then, maybe the fight had been exactly what Jaehyun needed to get the entire situation out of his system. Or maybe they had just been through that sort of thing before but for pettier, trivial things.

"Didn't know that you got an invite," Johnny told him, raising his brows amusedly.

"Mm, wherever he goes, I follow," Jaehyun said, referring to Taeyong who was standing awkwardly in front of him. Taeyong wore a look of embarrassment, eyes catching Doyoung beside Johnny who looked mildly entertained. "Besides, you broke code and didn't invite me. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to keep him away."

"You think? I could've sworn I texted you about it about it, like what, five times?" Johnny rebutted, challenging.

"Is that so? Shitty luck, you know I don't check my texts," Jaehyun said, smiling as he lied straight through his teeth. Both level headed Alphas grinned at each other, and Taeyong couldn't decipher what weird telepathic thing they were doing with their eyes, before they both burst out laughing.

"Come, there's beer in the kitchen," Johnny told him, then the warmth of Jaehyun's hands were gone from his waist when he went off to the kitchen with Johnny, promptly leaving both Taeyong and Doyoung behind. Taeyong and Doyoung shared a look and then turned to Sicheng and Donghyuck sitting on the couch who had also witnessed their whole odd reunion. Donghyuck blinked at them.

"Do you think they've fucked before?" he asked, voice in a whisper — which wouldn't have been considered a whisper for just about anybody else — and his hands clamouring over the living room chair. Taeyong's eyes went wide, but Doyoung didn't even hesitate to answer.

"Probably. They smelled weird. I wouldn't be surprised if they were up each other's ass," Doyoung said, a hint of cynicism and irritation in his voice, and Taeyong couldn't even begin to figure out where that had come from. From Johnny perhaps — from whatever talk they had, or were _having,_ before Taeyong's not so kind (or helpful) intrusion.

"I heard Alphas experiment with each other on the down low — Yuta told me they liked to see how Omegas took knots. Like it was some sort of kink to get another Alpha to submit or get over their own instincts," Sicheng added his own two cents, brows furrowing as if thinking back to the exact conversation with his ex boyfriend.

Doyoung snorted. "Yeah, and Yuta was a fucking Alpha wannabe. They probably told him that so they could put their knot in his ass without making him feel like less of an Alpha." Sicheng frowned at his words, but Doyoung turned to Taeyong whose brain had short circuited from their conversation, interest piqued. "You've known them the longest. Have they fucked — or have you seen them fuck? Like, you must have walked in on them at least once."

"Oh my god," Donghyuck said, suddenly excited, his body rocketing over the living room chair so that he was semi-standing on his knees. "Have you? And you didn't tell me?"

Taeyong looked between the three of them, flustered. He hadn't witnessed anything like that ever, no matter how hard he thought back to it, but it was no doubt to anyone in town that the Alphas were exceptionally close — brotherly close, he had thought before, but it was now dawning on him that other people may have viewed it as romantic attraction. Taeyong had never viewed Johnny as one of the many people vying for Jaehyun's attention, but he had always been, in some twisted way, _jealous_ of Johnny. Johnny had always had his attention in and out of school. Taeyong, on the other hand, was somehow treated like some sort of secret lover.

"N-no?" he said, voice feeble and face beet red. The thought of the both of them doing something together made him feel something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He didn't even want to allow his mind to venture that far — Taeyong didn't know if he'd like what he'd find.

"You sound unsure," Sicheng prompted, tilting his head inquisitively, "so that means a yes, no?"

They all seemed dead set on getting information out of him that simply did not exist, but before they could interrogate him further, the bell rang for the third time that night. Their apartment was getting full already, and perhaps Taeyong had overestimated the amount of space they actually had, because when Ten stepped in, the place suddenly felt unnecessarily cramped up — filled to the brim with people despite it only being, in reality, about seven, but Taeyong's brain had someway, somehow enlarged the number. L

"Why the fuck are you all loitering here? I was informed that it was going to be a party," Ten surmised, looking around at the four of them like he couldn't believe his eyes. "The drinks? The shots? The making out with randos you don't even remember the next day. I feel like I've been scammed."

"We told you it's a sleepover," Doyoung corrected, his lips quirking up into an amused smile.

Ten's eyes skid over to the table lined with drinks then looked back at Doyoung, unimpressed. "If there's tequila, it's a party." Ten turned to Taeyong then, face pinched, and leaned forward to sniff him, Taeyong leaning back on instinct. "And Taeyong smells weird. What were you guys doing?"

Taeyong gaped, feeling his thoughts exposed by his own scent. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out why.

"We were just talking about if they've both fucked," Donghyuck chirped, bringing them all back to the earlier conversation. Ten didn't even bat an eyelash at his words, he simply quirked his brow as a silent, yet intended, _who?_ "Johnny and Jaehyun," Donghyuck finished off, adding the much needed, vital information.

"Why talk about it when you can just ask?" Ten said incredulously as if their whole conversation had been that fruitless, because after all, the answer was right in front of them. Taeyong went wide eyed, and before he could even think to stop him, Ten turned to face the direction of the kitchen and shouted out, "Alphas! Have you taken each other's knots?"

Donghyuck and Doyoung burst out laughing, throwing their heads back, and even Sicheng laughed, covering it with a hand. Taeyong was stuck in a state between mortification and laughing his head off, so it came out more as a strangled noise rather than anything decipherable. Johnny's head was the first to pop out of the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear, and for a moment, Taeyong's heart dropped whilst thinking that the answer may have somehow been _yes._ It lasted for a split second, but it made his stomach turn and his fingers prickle — and he could be nowhere near Jaehyun's level, but he knew of jealousy when he felt it.

Taeyong knew the entire thought was _bloody irrational._ Granted, he already seemed to feel like he was going out of his mind tonight.

"Of course we have."

"No we haven't," Jaehyun said flatly, stepping out of the kitchen with a can of beer in hand. But the amused smile on his lips told Taeyong that he was at least entertained by the idea.

Johnny pouted. "Why are you denying the fact that we've at least kissed."

"Don't say that, you'll make Tae jealous," Jaehyun spoke, pointing his can of beer at Taeyong.

Everyone's head turned towards said Omega, and Taeyong felt his face heat up in pure, unbridled embarrassment. Jaehyun chuckled as he made his way over to Taeyong. He then snaked his free hand around Taeyong's waist, body close as he leaned down to kiss him right there in front of all of them. Taeyong's adverse reaction, of course, was to turn his head so that Jaehyun's lips landed solidly on his cheek. It was a wasted and missed opportunity, and Jaehyun seemed taken aback at first, before he pulled away, chest rumbling with deep, baritone laughter.

"Oooh, Yongie's jealous," Donghyuck teased. Taeyong made a face. He wasn't jealous. Genuinely, that _wasn't_ it. And he was beginning to realise how much of a missed opportunity that kiss actually was now that Jaehyun's lips looked so pretty and warm with laughter, and his felt cold — the ghost of Jaehyun's touch airily hovering over them.

It'd been far too long since they'd kissed, in Taeyong's humble yet greedy opinion, and now that he had gotten another sobered taste, he wanted more. He felt the sudden urge to grab Jaehyun's collar and smack their lips together. But he wasn't _that_ bold. Never would he be so when they were out in the open. All he could do was look at Jaehyun, the want scratching at his skin, and something warm fizzling in his chest. He felt dizzy when Jaehyun's laughter faded, and he looked back down at Taeyong, dimpled craters adorning his cheeks. It was delusional to think that they were suspended in time — that couldn't have been further from the truth — but to him, it _felt_ like it.

"Okay, break it up love birds!" Ten said, waving his hand around, and Donghyuck made a grumbling noise of agreement from where he was peering over the couch, face pinched. "You're making me want to gag. It's too cute. But I wanna hear more about the Alphas fucking. Oh my God! Let's make it like a _proper_ sleepover and sit in a circle sharing secrets."

Ten was a force to be reckoned with when he was determined, because almost at once, they had all begun moving around to shift the chairs in the living room to allow space for them to do exactly what Ten had in mind — all but Taeyong and Jaehyun, however. Jaehyun had put his drink down and pulled him inside the kitchen while everyone else busied themselves momentarily and was too busy conversing to pay the both of them any attention.

Jaehyun pushed him up against the wall where they could easily be caught — but he supposed that's what Jaehyun wanted; to be seen, and to stake some sort of claim on him here in front of everyone, despite there being never any real threat in the first place.

"What are you doing?" Taeyong asked, doe eyes widening at Jaehyun whose eyes were hard, skittering over Taeyong's face as if studying him. Taeyong bit his lips and watched as Jaehyun's eyes paused to zero in on the area, his hands that he had placed so carefully on his Taeyong's waist tightening.

"Did you do that on purpose?" Jaehyun asked.

Taeyong blinked up at him, and it took a second for what Jaehyun was implying to register. Yes, he had avoided Jaehyun's kiss, and he didn't truly think Jaehyun had taken much notice, but there was something in his tone, the way that he was asking now, that hinted to Taeyong that Jaehyun had been perhaps _insecure_ about it — that Jaehyun must have read into it to much. His feelings for Jaehyun weren't just going to drop like that, especially not when they had come so far, but maybe the thought of Taeyong once leaving him had put Jaehyun on edge.

Taeyong cupped his cheeks, thumb stroking over Jaehyun's jaw. "Of course I didn't." He didn't do it on _purpose_ purpose, it was more of a knee jerk reaction.

That wasn't enough reassurance, he could tell, because the unreadable look on Jaehyun's face didn't pass. Taeyong's words weren't enough to reassure him, but his lips must have been because Jaehyun surged forward until his mouth was against Taeyong's, harshly kissing him. Taeyong's breath was whisked away, and it took a moment for him to reciprocate — but even then, he couldn't keep up. It was as if Jaehyun was looking for something inside the kiss — as if he wanted to be with Taeyong whole. And Taeyong could only give him so much, but he hoped that despite that it was still enough.

They were broken up just as Jaehyun's hands snaked under his shirt, and Taeyong shouldn't have been as surprised as he was because good things were always never said to last.

"I am going to _vomit,_ " Donghyuck said, hunching over by the entryway where he had caught them, disgust written all over his face. He then proceeded to fake retch, and Taeyong watched him, blushing. "I came in to get the drinks and instead watched you two about to fuck on the wall."

"We were not," Taeyong said at the same time as Jaehyun's, "We hadn't gotten that far yet."

Taeyong looked whipped his head around at Jaehyun, half scandalized and stomach swooping at the thought of Jaehyun seriously, for the love of God, wanting to fuck him against an open wall. It was more alarming than anything. But Jaehyun, on the other hand, was grinning from ear to ear, not looking at Taeyong at all, too focused and pleased with himself that he had yet again made Donghyuck pseudo retch. Donghyuck waved a hand around in the air and fanned his face. Jaehyun chuckled at his dramatics.

"I'll help you get the drinks," Jaehyun offered, and Donghyuck lit up. Taeyong shook his head as he watched Jaehyun and Donghyuck saunter off to the kitchen table to get the drinks and cups that Johnny had so kindly and neatly laid out for them earlier.

Taeyong cocked his head. "Wait, wait, wait. Aren't you still eighteen? You're underage then?"

"We're living international, baby," Jaehyun added and Donghyuck beamed.

"Worldwide!" Donghyuck echoed. He must have forgotten whose side he'd been on barely a week ago. Taeyong could have laughed. Instead, he was dumbstruck that the both of them were ganging up on him.

"Ignore him. He's mad because he's lightweight," Jaehyun said, nudging him.

Donghyuck burst into laughter, and the both of them proceeded to exit the kitchen, leaving Taeyong in the dust. Taeyong was petty enough to point out that Donghyuck could get drunk three sips into one drink if they hadn't left so soon, and that he'd seen the Omega tipsy at too many family functions and new years celebrations. If anything, he was doing Donghyuck a favour — but perhaps Donghyuck was counting on the liquid courage through the night if Mark was indeed coming over. It didn't make it any less irritating though.

Taeyong huffed as he made his way out the kitchen, face sour. At the very least, he now knew that he'd been worrying too much. Jaehyun had always had a way of charming people and of inserting himself into every aspect and area of Taeyong life — in his heart, in his mind, in his friendships — in _everything._ He was brilliant at getting people to fall for him, and it had once been a shame that Taeyong had fallen too far, too fast, and too deep into the intricate web and abyss that made up Jung Jaehyun.

He wasn't mad at it anymore, nor did he regret it — the only thing he could ever look back on was the process; slow, arduous, and painful, one that had sometimes felt it like a dead end. But there was an opening — a slip of light through the cracks in the rocks, and Taeyong had somehow managed to make his way through it.

They were all already seated when Taeyong went out into the living room, and Taeyong felt his anger being ebbed and replaced with happiness. He was unnecessarily emotional at times, and this was one of them. To have everyone he loved sitting and conversing amongst themselves — just _getting along_ — was enough to make Taeyong tear up. The night had barely started, yet he'd already been through a whirlpool of emotions in the span of two hours. He hadn't known how long he'd been standing there until Sicheng noticed him and smiled, waving a hand over.

A few of the people sitting in their man made, awkward ovular circle turned to look at him, smiling invitingly. Taeyong blinked away the strange wetness in his eyes before going over and slipping himself in between Sicheng and Donghyuck. Across him was Jaehyun and Johnny, and then beside Johnny, on the left side, was Ten and Doyoung. There was empty space on the ride side area, and Taeyong guessed it was Donghyuck leaving plenty of space for Mark. He could also see the way his cousin's knees bounced with nerves, or perhaps excitement, sitting criss cross applesauce beside him. Taeyong shifted to mimic his position.

They must have already been in conversation before he sat down because Ten launched back into, "So tell me what else you guys have done? You've never slept together, just kissed?"

Everyone's keen eyes fell on Johnny inquisitively because it was clear that they wouldn't get a single scrap of information out of Jaehyun beside him. Jaehyun was listening, though, that much was clear with the way his lips were pulled into a coquettish smirk around the mouth of his beer. Johnny grinned and cleared his throat, eyes darting between all of them to make sure they were all listening before he started. He had their undivided attention.

"Jaehyun doesn't like me telling this story because he gets embarrassed," Johnny teased, sneaking a glance at his best friend. Jaehyun just chucked before leaning back on his hands, making no move to stop him. Johnny turned back to them. "We were seventeen and Jaehyun was drunk off his ass. He could barely remember everything 'cause he got so _shitfaced,_ and he didn't even believe me when I told him the next day after he'd sobered up. But it was a party, and only God knows what was in his drink because — and I kid you not — he looked me in the eye and called me _Taeyong_."

Taeyong leaned back from his eager listening position, cheeks reddening at Johnny's words, the Alpha having looked directly into Taeyong's eyes the second he said it. And Taeyong wasn't clueless. He knew the implications.

"I think I know where this is going," Doyoung said.

Johnny continued his story. "So he corners me and kisses me. Like seriously! And then he got _mad_ the next day when I told him I kissed him back."

From beside him, Jaehyun burst out laughing, chest shaking and vibrating, and his head throwing back while deep, vielle, baritone melodies falling from his lips. Taeyong didn't know what Jaehyun's reaction must have been when he found it, but he guessed that now it was nothing more of a fond memory. It was clear to him that Jaehyun and Johnny were bound to make up — all those years growing up together would never have gone to waste. Jaehyun wasn't one to let go of things that easily, and Johnny had still been stuck on it even two years later.

The rift in their relationship had been temporary, and it was only time before they — like Jaehyun and Taeyong had — found their way back to each other.

"And then he shoved his hand down my pants and I pushed him off," Johnny finished off. The entire group erupted with laughter, Taeyong joining in on it too. Jaehyun made a face at that part, but nothing in his scent pointed towards annoyance at the disclosure, not to Taeyong, at least. "Had to take him out before he vomited all over his number seven jersey and would get mad at me for it," Johnny chuckled.

Taeyong's stilled, shoulders tensing abruptly as his mouth fell open at Johnny's description. Taeyong remembered his and Jaehyun's technical first kiss — he remembered how Jaehyun had called him, drunk and slurring his words, how he himself had rushed over clad in a hoodie and pajama bottoms thinking something was wrong, and how when Jaehyun had finally — _finally_ — kissed him, his own fingers had found their way to grip Jaehyun's front and that stupid number seven jersey. Jaehyun had passed out then, and the next day, he couldn't remember. But Taeyong remembered.

Taeyong now _wished_ he didn't remember.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sicheng's voice pulled him out of his stupor. Everyone else was too busy laughing to have noticed the subtle change in Taeyong's scent, all but Sicheng — and Jaehyun too, Taeyong noticed, because the Alpha had his eyebrows raised and was looking directly at him. Taeyong grimaced at the thought that he'd basically given Johnny an indirect kiss, and the sparks that had been there when he'd usually think back to the kiss had dampened, but despite that, he still answered;

"Nothing."

Sicheng made a face like he didn't believe him, and honestly, Taeyong wouldn't have believed himself either, but he didn't have any more time to prove it to Sicheng because Donghyuck beside him jumped asked, "Any more secrets? Gossip? Juicy stories? I can't believe you let Jaehyun touch your dick."

"I didn't let him. He just did it. I wasn't opposed until he started feeling it up. Then I was like, yeah, this is kinda fucking weird. And no — no more stories," Johnny said firmly, but Taeyong was still stuck on the goddamn kiss.

Though, Taeyong had no qualms about them kissing, it was more so the fact that it was on the same day — on the same _night_ as his. He had plenty more time to make up for that technically errored kiss, but still. He genuinely felt like Johnny had snatched something from right up him, which was ironic, all things considered.

Ten and Donghyuck whined, begging for more, Doyoung and Sicheng were content to watch, and Jaehyun was staring directly at him, looking like he was about to say something. He got cut off, though, when the bell rang. Donghyuck then sprang up so quickly that Taeyong felt as if he'd been given whiplash. Donghyuck ignored the curious and surprised looks he got in lieu of practically skipping over to the door. He stopped at it, ruffling his hair, shaking his hands, and puckering his lips.

Even with all of his confidence boosting, the only word that came out when he opened the door to the Alpha he was head over heels for was a feeble, _"Hey."_

"Hey," Mark replied. He stepped in past Donghyuck then, but his body came to an entire halt when he saw the six other people sitting in a circle on the living room floor. He blinked awkwardly for a moment, then his eyes drew back to Donghyuck who was looking at him, sheepish. "I thought you said nobody would be home?"

Taeyong frowned. "Why? Are you trying to take advantage of my Omega?"

Donghyuck huffed, shooting him a glare that Taeyong didn't care for, but Mark was quick to defend himself. "No, no, _no._ Dude, no! Like, I mean, I just— like we were just going to play on his ps4. That's it, I swear. I wasn't going to like—" Mark rambled, sounding genuinely panicked.

Taeyong cut him off. "Alright," he said sourly, but at this point, it was obvious to him that Mark was harmless, "come sit beside me then."

"What, Tae! No way!" Donghyuck protested.

"Yes way," Taeyong contended. He then patted the empty space beside him. "You can sit here, okay Markie? Donghyuck, you can sit on his other side."

To say that Taeyong felt powerful when Mark obeyed at once would have been nothing more than an understatement. It wasn't often that he got people to listen to him — not so easily and never when they were _Alphas._ He sort of understood the weird thrill that Jaehyun must have gotten from occasionally manhandling, bossing, and throwing him around — but in Jaehyun's case, Taeyong guessed that it was more of a weird kink than anything. Still, he understood it, and he smiled at Mark when the Alpha sat beside him skittishly, Donghyuck practically stamping his feet to follow behind him in tow.

"You haven't missed much, don't worry dude," Johnny told Mark as Donghyuck sat down, crossing his arms. Mark nodded, opting to stay quiet, and Taeyong couldn't help but wonder if he had _actually_ scared him. He doubted it. Then Mark nodded at everyone in their now complete circle, and they all smiled at him back.

"So we were just about to play truth, dare, or drink," Ten told him, and everyone's head snapped towards the Omega, undoubtedly thinking the same thing — _when was that decided?_ Though Ten had a way of getting his way, or maybe everyone didn't mind playing in the first place that is — everyone but Taeyong that is, the entire prospect making him vibrate with nerves — because they all immediately acquiesced. Mark, obviously, did not have anything to say about the matter.

It started with Ten asking Doyoung if he's ever given it in the ass despite only ever being with Alpha's who were, as a whole, notorious for never being the ones to receive. Taeyong frowned, "Guys, can you tone it down? There are kids here."

"I'm not a kid, Yongs," Donghyuck said with a mix of exasperation and annoyance — though, it was fueled by the fact that Taeyong had embarrassed him at the door.

Taeyong frowned, pouting slightly. "But you're my baby."

"I thought I was your baby."

Everyone's head snapped towards the owner of the voice — Jaehyun — and, understandably, _gagged._ Even Taeyong felt himself vomit a little. It was sweet. Too sweet for the likes of Jaehyun. And also lightyears out of character. Taeyong was sort of stumped by it, but it made him smile nonetheless. Ignoring everyone else's reactions, Jaehyun offered Taeyong a peachy grin, to which Taeyong smiled in return. They would've got lost in their own bubble then and there, he knew, if everyone around them wasn't calling them to break it up.

"That was sweet," Doyoung started. "You disgust me."

Taeyong stuck a tongue out at him.

Doyoung chose Sicheng next, but Sicheng chose to drink rather than to fulfil any requests Doyoung would give him. Taeyong didn't know of Sicheng's drinking habits, but if Sicheng chose to drink so early on without even knowing what the truth or dare _was,_ then he could probably down much more alcohol in one go than Taeyong could ever manage. And Sicheng passed his turn to Johnny instead then, who took the time to scour out their faces. Of course, the glint in his eye was meant for Taeyong. He should have seen it coming.

"I dare you to kiss somebody in the room that you find attractive," Johnny declared.

"What kind of dare is that?" Taeyong sputtered. "I didn't even get to _choose._ "

Jaehyun laughed, and the both of them did some slick, down low high five. Taeyong knew this was Johnny's attempt at playing wingman, but Taeyong wasn't exactly fond of PDA — not now when everyone knew him, not when everyone was _staring_ at him. And Taeyong's hesitation must have been obvious, because Donghyuck huffed before adding, "Here, I'll do it first."

Taeyong's lips parted as he watched Donghyuck crawl out of his spot, and his eyes went wide when he saw Donghyuck's intentions. He had thought, on instinct, that Donghyuck had said that as an excuse to kiss Mark, but surprisingly, that wasn't it at all. They all watched, mouths ajar as the Omega crawled his way over to _Johnny._ Donghyuck didn't hesitate nor bat an eye before planting a kiss directly on Johnny's cheek, harmless enough. The Omega then crawled his way back to his original spot, a smile on his lips as if he had done nothing out of the ordinary.

They were silent for a moment, all still reeling from Donghyuck's actions. Taeyong's eyes suddenly flickered down to Mark when he smelt a change in the air beside him. One of Mark's hands had been clenched into a fist. Taeyong smiled. He understood it then. Donghyuck was a smart, smart boy.

"Well... that was.. cute?" Sicheng said, probably the only one not knowing, due to his newness, that Donghyuck did indeed have a thing for Mark and _not_ Johnny.

"I'm flattered," Johnny said, smiling. Taeyong shot Doyoung a glance, but the Beta seemed fine. Taeyong felt like he could breathe easy — he didn't want Donghyuck's silly actions to put another rift in his and Johnny's half relationship. It was fine because it was harmless, and Doyoung was level headed enough to understand that.

"Okay!" Ten clasped his hands together. "Taeyong's turn!"

Taeyong looked around the circle, biting his lips. The spotlight was on him again. Johnny was the most obvious no, he didn't want to make things weird between him and Sicheng considering the fact that they weren't fully fledged best friends yet, Doyoung just wasn't right, Mark was off limits, and he was goddamn _related_ to Donghyuck, so that didn't even cross his mind. The only people left were Jaehyun and Ten, and he knew what people expected of him, he knew what they were waiting to see and how far they would take it, because in Johnny's words, Jaehyun could be a bit of an _exhibitionist._

The answer was painfully obvious, and it was a no brainer to everyone else as to who he would pick. And Jaehyun must've known it too because his slick smile turned triumphant as Taeyong went on his hands and knees to crawl forward. Taeyong savoured the image of Jaehyun's smile drop when he turned and crawled over to Ten instead who was smirking at him as if he knew he'd be Taeyong's choice all along.

Kissing Ten wouldn't be weird — he could come back from it and they'd still be ok, though the same couldn't be said for most of the other people in the room. Taeyong could see their reactions from his peripheral, a mix of confusion, interest, and from Doyoung, _impressed._ He hoped his own slightly ansty reaction was tucked away and hidden in his features, though the pounding of his own heart probably gave it away to anyone who bothered to listen.

Ten's smirk grew wider as Taeyong approached, now fully in front of him. Taeyong's breath caught in his throat as Ten hooked a finger under his chin so that their eyes would meet. His heart thundered in his chest as Ten's finger stroked his lips, playing it up, and then his eyes fluttered shut when Ten came forward. Their lips met, and Ten guided him with a cool hand cupping his cheek.

He hadn't expected Ten to bite his lip softly, nor had he expected to open his mouth to let Ten in, but his breath was taken away again when Ten's tongue swirled in, licking at the crevices of his mouth. Taeyong leaned forward, getting lost in the kiss momentarily, and Ten leaned back, letting Taeyong take some charge. Taeyong hadn't registered that he was kissing Ten — that he was _really_ kissing Ten — but he did register his own disappointment when Doyoung's voice, accompanied by some distant Alpha-sounding growl, came his way.

"Okay, knock it off. The Alphas get off to this shit," Doyoung said tiredly, and Ten suddenly pulled away, making Taeyong gasp. "You'd never see them watching Beta on Beta porn, that's for sure."

And Taeyong was too dazed to register that that was probably an underlying dig at Johnny.

But Taeyong came back to his senses, blinking, his eyes on Ten's swollen red, spit slick lips, he dared to glance at both Johnny and Jaehyun who, true to Doyoung's words, looked somewhat aroused. Taeyong could tell by Johnny's sheepishness and the fact that he couldn't meet his eyes, and he could also tell by Jaehyun's scent. Jaehyun's expression didn't mirror his scent though. He didn't look happy about it at all.

"Let's stop playing this game," Jaehyun said, voice low and commanding.

"But—" Ten started, more than ready to object.

" _I said,_ " Jaehyun challenged with icy eyes and his voice hard, "let's stop playing."

The room fell silent for a moment, something unknown brewing in the atmosphere, so thick and so fast that it resembled a storm. Taeyong swallowed down nothing but felt like he had swallowed down ten stones. He could feel Jaehyun's eyes on him, hot and heavy, as he made his way back to his own spot, still mildly dizzy. When he sat down, his eyes flickered up and immediately caught Jaehyun's. He then felt his stomach turn with something electric, something stark, something awfully akin to _excitement,_ as Jaehyun watched him with dark eyes.

"Right," Mark coughed awkwardly. "John, you still got that guitar? I could play."

Jaehyun seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. "My guitar?"

With Jaehyun's positive flip in mood, it now felt like everyone could breathe easy — Taeyong knew he wasn't the only one because he heard Sicheng release a tense breath beside him. He sort of felt bad about it. It was Sicheng's first time over at his, and he didn't want to scare him off.

"Yeah," Johnny said sheepishly, rubbing his neck. "I kept it."

And Taeyong didn't know of the story behind the guitar, but he did know of the acoustic guitar that Johnny kept in the spare room. Taeyong shot up without a word to retrieve it, feeling like he needed a moment to just breathe. He sped walked, body buzzing with so much uncontained nerves that he could feel it vibrate in his fingertips. Jaehyun — his aura, his presence, his speech — had set him on a pleasurable edge, and he felt a little bit of shame for the way his scent had most _definitely_ changed in there.

_Only a little._

He was soon back with the aforementioned guitar, and he inspected it a bit before returning to his sitting spot, but there were no names signed or designs on it. It was spotless. But Jaehyun had always been quite clean — if it was his. Taeyong didn't think too much about it before handing it to Johnny. Johnny smiled as a thank you before then giving it to Jaehyun. And Jaehyun stared down at the guitar in his lap, silent, before slowly picking it up. He drew it up to his chest and put his hands to the strings, eyebrows drawing together.

Remembering the reason it was brought out in the first place, Jaehyun's eyes flit up to Mark asking for silent permission to take his turn. Taeyong guessed the look in Jaehyun's eyes wouldn't have allowed Mark to even say no if he tried.

They watched with bated breath as Jaehyun's fingers plucked the strings, and Taeyong was struck dumb with the fact that he hadn't actually heard him play before. He had once thought he knew everything about him, but slowly and surely, he was coming to realise that he had still been missing some of Jaehyun's pieces — large, valuable chunks. Jaehyun could be reserved, closed off, even standoffish when he wanted to, but it was if he was open now, and the song that he played so freely was beautiful.

Slowly, Donghyuck started to sing a song that matched its tune. Taeyong didn't know it, but Donghyuck had always been the singer in their family, not him. Whatever song it was, it was incredibly fitting for the atmosphere. Taeyong felt himself relax, choosing to enjoy it as he shut his eyes. Everyone was at ease now, if the sweetness in scents was anything to go by. But suddenly, Jaehyun stopped playing.

"Thank you," he said to Johnny. He sounded raw — he sounded _honest._ Johnny smiled. And the guitar was given to Mark next who had been waiting to play.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly — laughter, conversations, and teasing in the air. Taeyong was pulled into all of it, and he felt himself enjoy it, but, despite this, he had always stayed alert and aware of eyes that never once stopped roaming his body for the rest of the night. And Taeyong's body buzzed, electrified. He could certainly enjoy this.

When Doyoung and Sicheng left, Ten went with them, but Donghyuck had somehow managed to make Mark stay. And Taeyong agreed as long as they weren't sleeping in the spare bedroom together, but knowing Donghyuck, he'd probably find a way around it. Taeyong just didn't want to have to deal with breaking the news to his aunt that Donghyuck had somehow gotten himself pregnant over the span of two weeks. Donghyuck had pointed out that he was being hypocritical, though, because Jaehyun was staying over. Taeyong told him to give it a few years before he could do the same.

Taeyong acknowledged the fact that he was being hypocritical, and he'd gladly accept that title if that meant that Jaehyun was staying over. Taeyong hadn't necessarily invited him to, but it went unsaid that he would, especially when Johnny retired to bed at 1am, leaving just Taeyong and Jaehyun to themselves and Mark and Donghyuck playing in the living room. He had expected Jaehyun to go home then, or even offer to sleep on the couch, but it didn't entirely come as a surprise when he followed Taeyong straight into his room, walking in as if he had owned the place.

He flopped back on to Taeyong's bed, head behind his hands as he looked around. Jaehyun made a noncommittal noise. "It's cute."

"What is?"

"You. And Your room." Jaehyun then paused to look at Taeyong — _really_ look at him — before he frowned and put out his hands. "Come to bed," he ordered, referring to the fact that Taeyong was standing in the middle of the room, shuffling from foot to foot, heels grinding down idly.

Taeyong bit his lips, thinking about his offer. Truly, he didn't have a choice, and having one wouldn't have changed his answer. But he had the sneaking feeling that if he didn't move soon that Jaehyun would get up and manhandle him into the bed himself, and Taeyong's stomach would flutter, and his scent would spike, and Jaehyun would be privy to just how much he actually liked it. He could feel his face warm at the thought, and he made his way over to the bed with small, timid movements.

"There there." Jaehyun had his hands out, coaxing him closer. "Perfect," he said when Taeyong was finally in his arms. And he manhandled Taeyong — _gently_ — until the Omega was lying beside him in his arms. Soft lips were placed to the Taeyong's forehead, murmuring words that were lost in translation, and Taeyong would have asked if not for the galloping in his chest that had overtaken any other literate sense.

"Sometimes," Jaehyun started, calloused hands smoothing over Taeyong's sides, causing him to shiver through his thin shirt, "I feel like you were made for me. Your body and your mind." Taeyong's lips parted at his disclosure, feeling something warm flutter in his chest. Jaehyun moved down to kiss the side of his jugular, "We'll be a perfect fit when I put my dick in your cute little ass."

And he ruined it.

Taeyong tried to shove him off, scowling now that Jaehyun had torn down the atmosphere that was about to turn into something more. In his annoyance, he still couldn't help but wonder if it was a defense mechanism of some sort — changing the topic or sense of direction whenever things got too heavy. Jaehyun had done the same thing too when he had made Taeyong aware of what had been done to him by the ones that were supposed to love him the most; his parents. He kissed him then, and Taeyong had gotten lost in it, they had almost even taken it too far. Jaehyun was far too distracting for his own good.

"Get off me," Taeyong said, trying to elbow him in the ribs but was met with nothing but smooth, hard muscle. Jaehyun had barely even flinched.

Jaehyun simply wrapped his hands around him tighter to stop Taeyong from squirming — it was a useless feat. "I was only joking," Jaehyun said, grinning. Taeyong turned his head to give him a _look,_ lips pressed in a thin, fine line. Jaehyun was lying through his damn teeth. "Okay, I wasn't. You _would_ be a perfect fit. But not now. I know you want to be courted. I can do flowers and gifts, it isn't a problem to wait. I know you'll still be here with me in the end."

Jaehyun hadn't sounded cocky or overly confident — he had said it so smoothly, so casually, so sure of his words that Taeyong had slightly shaken at his core. He couldn't contest Jaehyun's words. They both knew it was the truth. And Taeyong couldn't lie to him for the sake of pride, not when he was wrapped so tightly but so delicately in the Alphas arms — it would come out as a feeble, weak stutter. So instead, he said nothing at all, content to close his eyes as Jaehyun's fingers carded his hair in slow, sensual, massaging movements. Taeyong sighed. He couldn't ever remember feeling this at peace.

Jaehyun hummed, Taeyong now pressed against his broad chest. "We made up because of you," Jaehyun said out of the blue.

"Who?" Taeyong asked, but Jaehyun didn't answer.

It took another split second for Taeyong to register that he was talking about no one other than Johnny. It was ironic, Jaehyun's words, that they had both made up because of _him._ He saw himself as the root of their problems, and there was still blame that would often eat him alive in the dead of the night, tired and restless. Taeyong had nothing to do with their reconciliation, but Jaehyun's words were reassuring enough to put something in him finally at ease. It was the end of that chapter.

"When did you make up with him?" Taeyong turned on his side to ask so they were facing each other.

Jaehyun's hands that raked his hair moved down to cup his cheek, thumb stroking over his bottom lip — it was the exact same action Ten had done when they'd kissed, but Ten hadn't made him feel like this, Ten hadn't been the one staying as a permanent resident in Taeyong's heart, and Ten could never be the one that made him feel so bright and on fire that he felt as if he could burst into the sun. Nobody else could.

"We met up to talk a week ago," Jaehyun answered finally, his thumb continuing its ministrations. And that was just after Jaehyun's birthday, Taeyong registered. And Johnny did say he was planning on talking to him then. "We talked it out," he raked a hand through his hair, "we're good on the condition that he doesn't let you live here again next year. Your lease will be up."

Taeyong blinked up at him owlishly. "You told him to _kick me out?_ "

"Yes, so you can come live with me," Jaehyun said so matter of factly that it was a wonder how Taeyong hadn't thought of his reasoning before. Of course this would be it. Jaehyun's free hand slipped under his shirt and pulled him down when he abruptly tried to sit up.

"No, no, no. That's the wrong order," Taeyong said, exasperated, body still struggling against the firmness of Jaehyun's warm palm. Jaehyun wanted his way, he could tell, and he wasn't the type to stop until he got it. It was foolish of him to think that Jaehyun had ever given that topic up in the first place.

"Our entire relationship is in the wrong order," Jaehyun said flatly, levelling his gaze. "If we go at the same pace we've been going at then we'll move in together in ten years. How am I supposed to wait that long? You living here for months already has driven me _insane._ " And as if to emphasise his point, the hand that had snuck itself under Taeyong's shirt pinched his nipple as some sort of punishment. Taeyong writhed. "I can't let you keep staying here, it does something to my instincts when I smell him on you."

"You don't _let_ me do anything. I do whatever the fuck I want," Taeyong shot back at him, face pinched and frustration building. It was annoying him even more that he couldn't even truly stay mad. He was pliant under Jaehyun's touch, and it was a struggle to keep up the rods that had so far held up his foundations.

Suddenly, Jaehyun shot him a wicked grin. Taeyong yelped as Jaehyun flipped him over so that he was laying on his back and Jaehyun's thick hands were pressing down on his sides. Jaehyun looked menacing like this, under the illuminating shadows of the room. It was enough to make Taeyong's nerves come alight, nerves now as sharp as needles, and something fiery pooling low in his gut. He felt one of Jaehyun's hands slowly travel up his shirt and tweak his exposed nipple. Taeyong had to bite his lips to hold back a moan.

Jaehyun was _evil._

"You know, I like how you don't curse at me unless you're angry," Jaehyun said, voice low and raspy. Taeyong's eyes were locked on to his, but Jaehyun's were unreadable. "Every time you curse, I feel it travel straight down me." Jaehyun cocked his head. "Do you understand?"

Taeyong eyes flickered downwards and he swallowed. He understood.

"Sometimes," Jaehyun started up again, eyes travelling all over Taeyong's figure who was laid out so readily for him, "you don't even have to open your mouth. I could just _look_ at you. Do you know what that does to me?" To punctuate his point, Jaehyun rolls his hips down to meet his, causing Taeyong to take in a sharp intake of breath. He'd forgotten how they'd even gotten to this conversation — how exactly they'd gotten that far — because the buzz in his mind was beginning to overtake all rationality. His fingers itched with _want._

"We shouldn't do this," Taeyong panted as Jaehyun grinded down on him slowly. He could feel the outline of Jaehyun's thick cock through the confine of his jeans right up against his own. It was driving him crazy. He didn't want to seem like some needy, helpless Omega, but Jaehyun's actions were slowly causing the cogs his mind turn sluggish until he turned dumb.

"Oh yeah?"

There was a wicked glint in Jaehyun's eyes as he sped up his movements. Taeyong could no longer bite back the moan that had been threatening to leave his lips, so it fell, loud and unashamed, and if he was in the right state of mind, he would've wanted the ground to swallow him whole, but he'd rather have somebody else's mouth eating him up. So taking initiative, Taeyong's hands reached up to pull Jaehyun down by the shoulders and slot their lips together perfectly. The kiss was slow, languid, and sloppy — a far cry from the deliberate and precise snap of Jaehyun's hips.

Taeyong tangled his fingers in Jaehyun's hair as the Alpha's hot tongue licked into his mouth. He wanted more — Jaehyun was on him — _in him —_ yet he still wanted _more._ His blunt fingernails dug into Jaehyun's back to push him impossibly closer, and Taeyong let out another broken moan when Jaehyun's hips rutted against him harshly.

They were broken out of their spell by several large, rapid knocks to the wall. "Can you stop fucking? There are like three other people at home, and you woke me up!" Johnny cried from the other side.

Jaehyun ignored him, but Taeyong was distantly aware that he was right, that Donghyuck, of all people, was in the house faintly hearing this. Taeyong bit back a moan, speaking to Jaehyun unevenly, "We s-should s-stop."

At once, Jaehyun, who had been so volatile and so eager, halted his actions and paused, hovering above Taeyong whose face was stained and flushed. He flipped himself over to the other side of the bed, not at all slightly out of breath like Taeyong was, the Omega panting. And Jaehyun's actions had stopped far too suddenly because Taeyong was left with his skin crawling with the need for more. The warmth in his gut had settled, but it was still there, and his body felt twitchy from the edging.

"Thank you," muttered Johnny on the other side.

"You're right," Jaehyun was the first to speak, seeing as Taeyong was lost for words, "We should do it properly. Isn't that right? You want flowers and roses and dates. You like that type of stuff, don't you?"

And there was something in Jaehyun's voice that told Taeyong he didn't mean a word of what he said, and they _both_ knew it. He was being antagonising on purpose. He knew what he'd done, and he must have known they'd never get far — wherever far was — since there were other people in the house. His plan must have been to leave Taeyong aching, and it had _worked._

Taeyong shifted, turning on his side and clutching Jaehyun's bicep with his fingers. "You did that on purpose?" Taeyong accused, voice breathless and whiny.

The answer was obvious, but the question had been a distractor. Taeyong had just hoped Jaehyun couldn't see the way he had slotted himself in between his legs and was rocking his hips back and forth slowly as he closed his eyes and let his mouth hang open. And for a moment, it was as if Jaehyun hadn't even noticed, too busy staring up at whatever was interesting in the wall, but a hand then gripped his leg suddenly, fingers curling around Taeyong's flesh, halting Taeyong's movements at once from the searing pleasure and pain combined. Jaehyun turned to face him sharply.

"I can't do anything anymore... but you can." The Alpha licked his lips, and Taeyong whined breathily, eyes lidded. Jaehyun's grin was monstrous. "I want to see you fuck yourself on my thigh."

For all intents and purposes, Taeyong should have said _no._ That should have been the exact moment that he pulled back, that should have been the exact moment that he called it off altogether and resigned to bed, head turned to face Jaehyun's opposite side. But Taeyong was a man — Taeyong was an _Omega,_ and Omega's had _needs._ To be seen climbing Jaehyun's lap and rutting so desperately against him should have been shameful for an Omega, but Taeyong was leaving behind that title for tonight. Alphas could fuck whoever they wanted, unashamed, and at the mere bat of an eye. He could as well please himself right on Jaehyun's meaty leg if he wanted to, too.

Jaehyun had no objections, hoisting Taeyong up so the Omega was sitting, legs apart, on one of his thighs. He sat up properly, watching as Taeyong moved slowly, mouth parting as he rode himself out. Jaehyun's hands on his waist tightened when Taeyong sped up his movements, accompanied by low, desperate whines escaping his soft, slick lips, and felt the back of Taeyong's pants wetten as they glid across him. The smell of slick was delicious, and Jaehyun wanted nothing more than the spread his cheeks apart and fuck him open with his tongue, but he resigned himself to watching Taeyong rut against him so intensely, eyes brewing with something dark. But he wouldn't touch him.

Jaehyun would keep that promise. It was all about Taeyong tonight. He took as much pleasure from watching Taeyong come undone on top of him as he would with his fingers.

Taeyong forced himself to swallow down thick, heavy moans, and his body fell forward when his hips began to stutter, feeling his lust build up so high and so powerful that it would leave him completely unravelled. The taste of pleasure was spellbinding as he felt his orgasm wash over him, dry. His fingers gripped unto Jaehyun's shoulder blades, and he couldn't help the cry he let out as his head fell forward and his body fell limp.

Taeyong sobbed lowly into the crook of Jaehyun's neck, now feeling so much pure, satisfying _relief._ It was like everything that had accumulated within him so far had burst — white and blinding. Jaehyun's hands roamed over him, touches firm yet light, like he was afraid to break him any further. And if Jaehyun still wanted to touch him in more pleasurable ways, he made no moves to do so. Instead, he slowly lifted Taeyong from his thighs and laid him down on the bed. And Taeyong registered the flickers of hungers in Jaehyun's eyes as the Alpha began to undress him.

"W-what are you doing?" Taeyong's voice quivered as he spoke. He was so fucked, he could barely talk.

"You can't stay like this," Jaehyun said, voice hard.

And so, Taeyong allowed the Alpha to undress him, the cold air drifting over his skin as he did so. Taeyong shivered from nothing in particular — the aftershock — as his eyes closed and Jaehyun somehow found the clothes to get his bottom half redressed. His eyes flickered open blearily to see Jaehyun in the state of undress, only clad in his lower half. He was about to take off his pants too, but he must have seen the way Taeyong lips had parted, so his hands had stopped midway, and he decided to sleep with them on.

Taeyong knew Jaehyun often liked to sleep semi-naked, and he wouldn't have minded if Jaehyun had stripped down to just down to his boxers, but Jaehyun knew that Taeyong hadn't been awake enough to say that.

Jaehyun slipped in under the covers almost quietly, and he pulled Taeyong's sleepy figure in with vice grip. With the Omega's head tucked underneath his chin, he breathed out deeply and pulled Taeyong in so that he was impossibly close, his large hands circling Taeyong's waist and caressing it in a soothing motion. Taeyong could hear the soft, rhythmic beat of his heart, and his lips parted as he sighed, eyes fluttering to a close.

"Sleep," Jaehyun commanded, and Taeyong's body could only ever have chosen to oblige.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this got long for genuinely no specific reason, not that much even happened in it lmfao! i have one more thing in store before i can end this, but i hope you’re enjoying it so far. kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated and keep me going <3  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc activities!!!](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	12. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [this picture](https://www.hostpic.org/images/2012262106040311.jpeg)
> 
> also, i got a really lovely dm which made me want to get my ass in gear and get this chapter done. i quite missed writing this. thank you so much to that person, you’re a star <3!

Despite the months that Taeyong had spent familiarising himself with the city, he had realised he still didn't know his way around. It was embarrassing really and a total _waste_ because it would've been a twenty minute walk at best to where he needed to go. But he was in a taxi now instead, watching as the rest of people walked by in some blurred, busy whirr. Taeyong had always been a people watcher; he had studied their mannerisms, how they walked, how they talked — _everything_ — and would, at one point, try to emulate them.

It was driven by a place of insecurity back then and from wanting friends when he had none. And he found it interesting, laughable in a pitying way almost, because now he didn't need to do those things — he didn't have to pretend to be someone else at all. Now he had made friends that he'd always wanted to make, not ones that were using him or had any ulterior motive. He must've been smiling like a madman to himself if the taxi driver's grimace was anything to go by, but truly, he didn't care. And that, in and of itself, felt so goddamn _refreshing._

Taeyong was struck out of his thoughts by a notification on his phone. It was Ten calling, but before he could even pick up the call, Ten dropped it. In lieu of a call, he received a text from the Omega that made his smile _drop._ Furrowing his brows so deep and so hard that it was almost painful, Taeyong read the text over and over again to make sure that it was in fact real. It had come out of the blue and shaken his insides, but Taeyong could sympathise, he had been exactly the same position as Ten was.

**i want to like drop out**  
**i really fucking want to drop oot**  
**out***  
**sorry, i'm crying rn**

Taeyong was unsure of how long he'd spent staring at the text and biting the inside of his cheek raw until he glanced up and they had gone farther up in traffic. Ten wasn't answering his flurry of worried texts, and that only caused his worry to grow and spread like wildfire. Taeyong's face pinched as he came to a decision. Jaehyun would be waiting for him now, or maybe he wouldn't because Taeyong still had an hour and a half to get there, so he decided that he could do it — that he could spare Ten some of his time.

"Um..." Taeyong said to the driver, the incoming vomit of words coated in apprehension. "Could you take me elsewhere? I'm so sorry. I'll pay how much ever it is extra. Sorry again."

When the driver grunted in agreement, Taeyong told him the new destination, accompanied by an awfully threaded string of apologies. He relaxed back into his seat then, focusing on figuring out the reason for Ten's sudden disclosure, knees bouncing and foot tapping out of nervousness in a way that he knew annoyed the driver but couldn't be helped.

He understood Ten. Taeyong himself had been rethinking dropping out, but he, better than anybody, knew just how much thought went into decisions as life altering as that, and he wouldn't let Ten suffer through that decision alone.

When Taeyong arrived at Ten's door, the Omega was in shambles. He'd never seen Ten in such a state, and frankly, he couldn't recall seeing Ten cry _ever._ But he did so even worse than Taeyong — red wet nose, bloodshot eyes, and a face pulled into the worst expression Taeyong had ever seen on him. It was tear jerking to see people cry, Taeyong had a propensity for it, and it made his heart clench no matter who it was. And so, he opted to stay quiet about Ten's dishevelled appearance as he quietly stepped inside, releasing soothing pheromones as he did so in an attempt to calm him down.

"Come in," Ten croaked in between sniffled and voice raw. "Doyoung's here too." Then upon seeing Taeyong's confused reaction, Ten added, "I sort of mass texted. My other friends know how dramatic I am, but the fact that you two came... _thank you._ "

Taeyong blinked at him, unbelieving. It had taken him thirty minutes to get to the apartment due to the traffic, and it would take him another thirty minutes to get back, all for Ten to say that he was being _dramatic._ But with the tears in his eyes, Taeyong couldn't even bring himself to be as irked as he wanted to be — he only huffed and made a doubtful face before slipping past Ten. Taeyong had only been to Ten's apartment once, and at the time, it had been spotless. It was messy now, surprisingly so, but Taeyong guessed that it was only a reflection of what Ten was feeling inside.

In Ten's bedroom, Doyoung was leaning with his back to Ten's desk. Ten plopped down on his bed tiredly, and Taeyong sat down beside him, an arm placed on Ten's lower back. He needed to leave soon, he was well aware of that — the reminder striking like alarm bells in his mind — and the fact that he had _promised_ to be somewhere else was like an itch he currently couldn't scratch. But he'd hear Ten out because Ten, without a shadow of a doubt, would do the same for him.

Ten took in a deep breath before speaking, egged on by Taeyong's soft, encouraging touch. "He can fly a plane."

They all paused. _"He can fly a plane?"_ Doyoung repeated incredulously. Taeyong had a distinct feeling that he was missing out on a vital piece of information — namely, _who_ could fly a plane?

Ten nodded solemnly, wiping a sleeve over his cheeks to dry the fallen tears before they could crystallise and leave streaks marks to taint his skin. "Yeah. He can." Ten turned to Taeyong then before speaking in a small voice. "His name is Kun... and... and I love him. We love each other, but we're not together. My love for him has grown past platonic," Ten said quietly. And the beginning of the story struck Taeyong because it was familiar. It was familiar because, truly, that was him and Jaehyun mirrored in Ten's words.

"I love him so much. I know it seems like I don't get attached to people, and I know you've seen me with other Alphas but... Kun and I are different. We're technically friends. We haven't even slept together, and I don't even think he'd want to be with someone like me."

Taeyong frowned. He could list off Ten's set of qualities off his hands and the two sets of fingers would still not suffice. "That's not true."

"But it _is,"_ Ten insisted, causing Taeyong's frown to deepen. Doyoung opted to stay quiet for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. "He's a Beta. We grew up together, in the same town and stuff, but he's a little older than me — a year or two. And you know I can be sort of immature, or compared to him, at least.. God, he's so fucking smart that he skipped a year and graduated with his bachelor's already. He wants to get his masters _and_ a PhD. Like, he's way outta my league."

Taeyong was about to go on a tangent about how whatever imaginary leagues Ten were implying simply didn't exist, before he was cut off by Doyoung. But he understood where Ten was coming from, and to him, it hit home. Jaehyun was out of his league — at least, that was what he had believed for a long time; that the Alpha was too mighty, almost airy, and so untouchable that Taeyong would never be able to receive his undivided attention, that he'd pine and pine for the rest of his life. Jaehyun seemed godly, but when all those dazzling layers were stripped down, it was easy to find the struggling man underneath. Leagues didn't exist because Kun wasn't better than Ten with or without a masters and with or without a phD.

But again, Doyoung cut him off. "Is that why you were going to drop out? I'm not following here honestly."

Ten licked over his lips and looked away from Doyoung, evidently feeling called out. "It's stupid, I know it is. But he texted me this morning that he was going to China to do his masters instead, and I sort of just... I mean, the first thought that came into my mind was to cry, which isn't and wasn't a thought, but I did it anyway. Then my second thought was to drop everything and follow him." Ten sucked in a breath, not daring to search for either of their reactions.

"I know, I know, it was so fucking dramatic and so fucking stupid. And embarrassing. I'm acting like some desperate Omega, and it's not cute."

In all of it, Taeyong had only gathered one thing. "Ten, you don't even speak Chinese."

 _"I know,"_ Ten laughed, but it was mirthless. "Technically, I do. I'm only learning, but I've learnt a lot." Ten stopped to look at both Doyoung and Taeyong who were staring at him apathetically. "Look, I'm sorry for calling you guys all the way over here, but like, I love you _so much_ for even coming. For future reference, do not come over unless I don't respond after twenty four hours. I only cry for a couple hours, so if I don't respond after that amount of time, it's either that it's serious or I've died."

Doyoung raised a brow. "I'll take note."

There was a silence that overtook them then, not tense nor weighted, just one of neutrality, as if nobody knew what to say next now that the problem had been solved — although, it was clear that there was never any problem that needed any real solving to begin with. Ten looked over to Taeyong who was rubbing his temples and staring down at the lock screen on his phone.

"You're not mad at me, right, Yongs?" The pout was almost evident in Ten's tone.

Ten was vindictive in a way that was so terrifyingly attractive that you couldn't help but fall into his trap. But that wasn't it at all, Taeyong's wasn't mad. "No," he replied flatly. Taeyong looked back at his phone. He had about forty five minutes left to get there, and he was unsure if Jaehyun was already there, waiting. "I just have to go somewhere. I came here first since it seemed urgent and because I've been through the exact same thing. I can still stay for just a little bit longer, but—"

"Is it a date?" Ten interrupted, all too eager.

All previous remnants of sorrow were gone from Ten's voice and eyes, and Kun, whoever he was, seemed to have been temporarily erased from Ten's mind. But that was the thing — _temporarily._ Once he and Doyoung left, Ten would break down again, he knew, and he knew it because he would've done the exact same thing not too long ago when things were more complicated, love seemed like a delusion, and the end result appeared bleak. He was fine with providing Ten with a momentary distraction.

"It's not.." Taeyong started slow, and it was the plain truth. That wasn't what he was meeting Jaehyun for, and the real reason for their set up had knots coiling in his stomach despite only going to being an onlooker, not an active participant. "I'm sorry, I can't..." _I can't tell you,_ he hoped Ten understood his unsaid words. 

He couldn't tell them because it wasn't something he had the right to tell. Doyoung must've understood it — Doyoung was always quick to catch on to things like that, and Taeyong appreciated it in more ways than one.

Doyoung spoke before Ten could question Taeyong further. "Fair enough." Doyoung then pushed himself off from where he had leaned back on the desk. "You need to go now, Yongie? I could walk you out."

"Stay with me," Ten whined. Taeyong stared at him — Donghyuck was gone, and yet, it was as if he had another eighteen year old in his hands.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "I'll stay with you.. for a bit anyway, but we can _both_ see him off."

Doyoung over to Ten who was sulking petulantly, and like the true mother he was, lifted him up by the arm to stand. Ten dragged his feet behind them as they all made their way to the front door to see Taeyong off. But before Taeyong could leave, however, Ten flung his arms around him, pulling him in for a hug and grazing his ear.

"Get that Alpha dick."

"Ten!" Taeyong pushed him off, scandalised, as Ten snickered. "Jesus Christ."

And then, he was out of the door.

The only time Taeyong could ever remember being late was when he was fourteen and he had promised to attend Donghyuck's recital to watch him sing his first solo. Donghyuck had gone to a different school at the time, but really, everything in the town was walking distance. He remembered the panic of waking up after a nap and checking the time, and the exact blood rush thrumming through his veins and in his pounding heart was, because it was similar to what he felt right now.

Except that, in retrospect, Taeyong missing out on Donghyuck's recital wouldn't have been too big of a deal. He knew what it took to win Donghyuck over; a promise of chocolates, Aladdin reruns, and overall allowing twelve year old Donghyuck to order him around. The guilt Taeyong felt then was incomparable to what he felt _now,_ and when the elevator door finally dinged as it opened him up to the top floor, the sight of an antsy Jaehyun was too much to handle, shame washing over him in drowning waves.

When Jaehyun set eyes on him, the relief that he felt was clear as day. As soon as Taeyong got near enough to him, Jaehyun dragged him closer, wrapping himself around the Omega and sinking into Taeyong's arms. It was a sentimental display of vulnerability, and it made Taeyong feel worse for being late to the one thing in his life he felt like was worth ever being on time for. The Alpha above him was heavy as he fell into Taeyong's arms, but Taeyong did his best to hold him up. And if it was any other situation, he would've laughed. Their roles had somehow been reversed.

Taeyong glanced at the therapists office behind Jaehyun before pulling away. The stress of it was clear in Jaehyun's features — skin pulled tight into unbending lines, jaw set hard as if he'd been grinding his teeth, and his eyes were cast over with gloom. Taeyong cupped Jaehyun's face in his hands, sighing softly to himself. "Your session's supposed to have started. You didn't have to wait for me, Jae."

Jaehyun's eyes searched his face, and slowly but surely, he was beginning to relax under Taeyong's almost delicate touch. Taeyong was sure that if he pulled away, Jaehyun would break, perhaps even demand to walk away from the first ever therapy session Taeyong had managed to convince him to attend after nearly a month of trying. It wasn't that it took much convincing — Taeyong knew that deep down, that wasn't it. He was aware that Jaehyun was simply _afraid_ of confronting his problems.

To let out what you've bottled up for so long could be a scary thing, but Jaehyun would only feel better after, Taeyong had promised him that on his very own lifeline.

"I couldn't go in without you here," Jaehyun told him, and Taeyong smiled sadly at him. Jaehyun was missing minutes of paid time by standing outside the door like this, but it was _okay._ It was his first session, and it wouldn't be the last. Together, they would make sure of that.

Taeyong gently removed his hands from Jaehyun's face to instead hold his arms. He was cautious with it, scared that Jaehyun wouldn't acquiesce, but Jaehyun let him, and he was silently thankful for it, if not for himself, for _Jaehyun._ But when he got to unwrapping Jaehyun's hands from him completely, Jaehyun's hands firmly planted themselves on his sides. Taeyong's eyes flickered back to the therapy room momentarily.

"Jaehyun, you can't keep me trapped here forever," Taeyong told him, voice quiet despite there being nobody else in the waiting area. The place was as private as it was expensive.

"Why not?" Jaehyun answered almost immediately. "I'm selfish, I've always been selfish when it comes to you," Jaehyun said, eyes fixated on Taeyong's face, studying him. He then pulled Taeyong to his chest again, and Taeyong was aware that if he didn't get Jaehyun off him soon, the Alpha wouldn't let go entirely. He wouldn't put it past Jaehyun to haul him out while Taeyong was still cooped up in his arms — it'd be prideful and territorial, but the Alpha was never one to care for such things.

Taeyong's voice came out slightly breathless, "That's what the therapy is for."

"I'd keep that one aspect of myself. I'd lock it and keep it if it meant that I got to stay with you," Jaehyun said, and Taeyong couldn't even begin to pinpoint if the way his voice had dropped an octave had been done on purpose. Without a doubt, Jaehyun could feel his heart somersault before landing and ricocheting around the walls of his chest. With flushed cheeks, Taeyong placed his hands to Jaehyun's chest firmly to push him off.

Just then, the door to the therapist's room opened, and the woman that appeared was scentless — or, her scent was heavily muffled, at least. Perhaps it was a job requirement, or perhaps it was a choice — whatever it was, her presence was enough for Taeyong not to give into Jaehyun's whims any longer. Taeyong locked their fingers together and looked Jaehyun in the eye.

"Go in. It's time," Taeyong said, squeezing his hands.

"It's time?" Jaehyun repeated as Taeyong let go, and their hands dropped.

Taeyong nodded. "It's time."

And then Jaehyun, as if preparing himself, shut his eyes and drew his bones forward to stand tall, in true Alpha form and fashion. Clenching and unclenching the palms of his hands, his eyes opened, and his look of vulnerability was replaced with one of stoicism. It would have been too much to hope that Jaehyun would put all his cards out so soon, and they were assured that that was not how the first session even _worked,_ but it had taken Taeyong _years_ to get Jaehyun to open up to him as much as he had, so he didn't want him to retreat back into his shell now.

Jaehyun nodded with an impassive look, and Taeyong gave him his best sincere smile before the Alpha went off. When Jaehyun's therapist closed the door, Taeyong felt his shoulders fall. He could relax now that it was out of the way and done, and Jaehyun, more than anyone he knew, _needed this._ He glanced at the time on his phone as he took a seat — he'd come fifteen minutes late, and they'd spent an additional five minutes getting Jaehyun into the zone, so now there was only forty minutes left of a supposed sixty minute session.

Taeyong sighed as he moved on to check his texts.

He scrolled through his most recent ones — one specifically from his mother asking if he was doing okay. He had reassured her with a flurry of love heart emojis, and that was the end of that. He continued scrolling mindlessly as a way to take his attention away from the painstakingly obvious. It wasn't even his own session, yet he was nearly just as stressed as Jaehyun was. But his fingers landed on an old text then, one from an old, unknown number, one that he had recognised, and one that he should've, but didn't, delete.

Taeyong took in a deep breath as he clicked on Chanyeol's texts. The Alpha was blocked from sending another, but Taeyong could still see their past ones, and he felt the same way as he did then — bubbling curiosity making its way under his skin. Chanyeol had wanted to tell him something — pointedly, something about _Jaehyun._ Taeyong was still rational enough to not let the curiosity seep all the way into his bones, but it still coated them. And it was _odd_ because he hadn't seen said Alpha since that very same day, nor Baekhyun either.

But he and Baekhyun weren't even from the same department, so it made sense, but... but he had expected _more_ from Chanyeol. What he hadn't expected, however, was for the Alpha to give up so soon. He should've been thankful for it, and he was, but he was also uneasy — uneasy, baffled, and _intrigued._ But it was better this way, Taeyong reasoned, better, simple, and easy. And then he clicked out of the chat when he found his fingers hovering above the text keys. Chanyeol's words would stay in the trash where they belonged.

To distract himself for the remainder if the waiting time, Taeyong played games on his phone, but in the end, his eyes flitted back to the door so much that he simply decided to keep them there. He couldn't hear them from the outside, that much was a given, so he could only speculate about their conversations as he waited for Jaehyun to return. His heart threatened to burst out of his ribcage, swelling with pride. Taeyong hadn't necessarily given him an ultimatum per se, but he _had_ insisted that they could only be a thing after about three therapy sessions — and it was that or nothing.

It was baby steps, but Jaehyun had lifted himself off those stubborn feet and decided to take those steps nonetheless. And Taeyong was too busy unconsciously smiling smally at himself to notice the door to another room down the hall open, but it was _impossible_ not to notice who came out of it. He was struck with an odd and unsettling sense of déjà vu despite never having been in such a position before — at least, not in this setting. But here he was again, face to face with Yuta, Sicheng's ex.

Yuta looked different from the last time he saw him, but in the subtlest of ways — instead of standing dominating and tall, he was hunched over slightly, tired maybe, it seemed. And his blonde hair had been mussed in a way that wasn't purposeful, the bags under his eyes had sunken, and overall, Yuta just looked so so _tired._ And it was only then when Taeyong had come to that sudden conclusion that they both realised they had been staring each other down. At once, Yuta's demeanour changed.

"What are you looking at," Yuta said snarkily, teeth bared as if he was trying to growl pathetically.

Taeyong's fight or flight would have been set off in any other situation, and maybe in any other situation he would've chosen _flight,_ but there was something holding him down, something that overtook any rational feelings of fear — _compassion._ Or something like it. Something sad as he looked at the Beta. But he cast those feelings away as best as he could, hoping it wouldn't show in his eyes because he didn't know why Yuta was here, but he didn't need to feel like he was being looked down on by Taeyong either. Taeyong knew that the Beta wouldn't appreciate it.

"Nothing.. I'm just waiting," Taeyong said softly, blinking up at him.

Yuta's demeanour faltered, but the mask that had slipped was replaced with an identical one almost immediately. "Well, keep waiting," Yuta said as if he couldn't think of a better reply.

Taeyong watched as Yuta changed directions sharply before stalking off. He felt like he should say something — assure him that it was _okay_ and that it wasn't embarrassing, or whatever the Beta had thought, to be caught here. Taeyong wouldn't tell anybody — not even Sicheng, but it was more than that, he knew. Perhaps it was panic, humiliation, and shattered pride from feeling like less of an Alpha. It was stigmatised, but Yuta, like Jaehyun, had done his best to step over those boundaries that so fiercely held him back.

"I'm proud of you."

If Yuta heard him, he didn't turn around.

It was ten minutes after Taeyong's encounter with Yuta that Jaehyun was let out. The door opened slowly, and Taeyong shot out of his chair to stand, the blood rush dizzying, but that didn't matter when Jaehyun appeared looking entirely different from when he'd gone in. He wasn't like Yuta, though — tired and dishevelled — more so different in the way that he seemed... _relaxed._ The Alpha posturing he'd used when he went had disappeared, and even the rigid lines that sullied his features had smoothened.

Taeyong laughed when he realised that the first thing Jaehyun thought to do was engulf him in a hug. But he couldn't have protested if he tried, he would let the Alpha keep him in his embrace for hours if it meant that he was happy. Besides, Jaehyun needed it. The Alpha's scent tickled his nostrils, and upon feeling Jaehyun nosing the crook of his neck, Taeyong shuddered.

"What are you doing?" Taeyong asked fondly. He met eyes with Jaehyun's therapist standing at the doorway and smiled at her halfway before she could close the door.

"You smell off," Jaehyun told him. And Taeyong knew the reason for it — it was because of his brief encounter with Yuta — but he hadn't noticed a large change in his scent, but Jaehyun's nose buried deep into his neck and inhaling his scent was most likely a far better detector. The feeling of Jaehyun's there was ticklish almost, and it sent a jolt of warmth down his spine, fingers tingling from sensitivity. Taeyong made to push him off again, but Jaehyun's grip only tightened.

"Stay still, I'm scenting you," Jaehyun said.

On any other occasion, Taeyong may have pushed him away, and that was simply because of the knowledge that scenting was a new level of territorial. Everybody knew that, and he knew that Jaehyun's reasons weren't solely because he had smelt _off._ In fact, Taeyong guessed that he had probably just used that as a stupid excuse, but it was an excuse nonetheless, and it had worked because Taeyong _let him._ It was a reward, Taeyong reasoned to himself, but even that sounded ridiculous to his blushy, addled brain.

"Alright, that's enough," Taeyong said when he'd been thoroughly doused in Jaehyun's peachy scent. Both of their individual scents were fruity, so together it felt... _nice._ Jaehyun's clutch loosened as Taeyong asked, "How did it go?"

"Mm, fine," Jaehyun said as he pulled away. His eyes then swept over Taeyong again as if to ensure that the Omega was completely scented by somehow using his eyes. He then gave a satisfactory grin before speaking. "We just talked and went over the basics. She asked me questions to get to know me, really simple stuff, and she listened. It felt...." Jaehyun trailed off.

"It felt?" Taeyong prompted with keen, widening eyes.

Jaehyun's shoulders slumped, and he shut his eyes. "Good. It felt good."

Taeyong beamed at him. "We should go. Johnny invited us... well, _you,_ for dinner. Spaghetti, I think." Taeyong was reminded of Jaehyun's insistence of him moving out and then his own insistence of staying in, more so out of petty spite than anything, and also because he quite liked to see the Alpha beg.

Jaehyun hummed to himself as they made their way over to the elevator. "I was thinking of taking you out for dinner. I reserved a place in advance, actually."

Taeyong wore a look of surprise as Jaehyun nonchalantly stepped into the elevator. He'd faltered in his steps, Jaehyun raising a brow at him being the very thing to centre him back into reality and ground him back into his senses. The gesture wasn't grand, nor was it any sort of big deal in the grand scheme of things, but Taeyong had just been so used to him being the one trying — him being the one initiating, him being the one putting in those extra bits of work to keep their then semi-platonic relationship afloat then.

And Jaehyun would always drop such things so casually, and often without prior consultation, that it would leave him temporarily — and embarrassingly — frozen from shock. But then he'd look at Taeyong with those pretty doe eyes and wide grin, and Taeyong would thaw from the inside out. It was mundane, but it was enough to make his heart gallop. Jaehyun pulled him in closer to his side with an arm tucked around his waist when they were safely side by side in the elevator.

During their descent, Taeyong's phone dinged again, and he took it out to glance at the notification. It was from Ten again, but somehow this news was worse than before. That was a selfish thought, though, but Taeyong couldn't help it — the excitement that had built itself up so turbulent and so fast at the prospect of going on some sort of dinner date with Jaehyun had now been demolished. He knew he couldn't say no to Ten. Not today, at least.

"What is it?" Jaehyun questioned. Taeyong took note of how he seemed to be in such a good mood.

Taeyong chewed on his bottom lip nervously. He didn't want to ruin it. "Ten's inviting us to karaoke tonight to.. to... It's complicated. But I think we should go." He wasn't about to begin telling Jaehyun of a Beta named Kun who could fly a goddamn plane.

"That's fine. Wherever you go, I follow," Jaehyun answered as they neared the bottom floor.

Taeyong felt a shiver run down his spine at his words, feeling as if, day by day, he unlocked a new side of Jaehyun — one full of heart fluttering words and cute actions. But Jung Jaehyun didn't often do cute, and it would've been unsettling if Taeyong didn't find it so achingly endearing. But it was time to take Jaehyun out of that box of expectations of what he did and didn't do, besides, Taeyong had long surpassed his very own.

And so, Taeyong replied, "Cheesy."

"But you like cheese," Jaehyun insisted with a grin so wide that the craters nested in his cheeks could rival the moon. Jaehyun's hand snaked away from his waist to hold his hand firmly as they stepped out. And it was as if there was a physical load hoisted off of both their shoulders as they left the therapy centre altogether — Taeyong could feel something in the air; something light, something sweet, and something warm.

Taeyong paused before smiling amusedly and lacing their fingers together. "Unfortunately."

The sun had already set by the time Tayeong and Jaehyun arrived at the karaoke place hand in hand — and with Johnny third wheeling because they'd chosen to pick him up after the Alpha insisted that he apparently wasn't in the mood to drive. The car ride had been more peaceful than Taeyong had expected, with Taeyong sitting shotgun, Jaehyun driving, Johnny sitting squarely in the middle of the back seat, with both Alphas conversing back and forth. It was nostalgic almost, and he felt displaced in a sense that he had never _actually_ been in their inner circle.

It had always been Jaehyun and Johnny, Johnny and Jaehyun, and then Jaehyun and Taeyong. Never the three of them — not _really_ — despite Johnny being cordial with him even then. And he'd always admired their friendship, it always looked like nobody could get in between them, and he was _right,_ Taeyong guessed, because even Taeyong himself hadn't been able to wedge a permanent gap. If he was (wishfully) Jaehyun's romantic soulmate, then Johnny was Jaehyun's platonic one, without a shadow of a doubt.

When they approached the karaoke building, Johnny was at Taeyong's side and Jaehyun was at the other, arm curled around the Omega as Taeyong walked with his arms crossed, trying and failing not to shiver from the cold. He would have asked Jaehyun for his jacket, but he didn't need any more romance movies clichés that would only fuel the heart fluttering feeling in his chest. As they came closer, Taeyong spotted Doyoung leaning casually on the entrance door, scrolling through his phone. Taeyong smiled — of course, it would be unlike Doyoung to be bothered by the cold.

"Doie!" Taeyong called, detaching himself from Jaehyun's side. Doyoung looked up at the sound of Taeyong's voice, smiled, and pocketed his phone.

"You made it after about ten years," Doyoung chuckled as Taeyong hugged him. Taeyong pulled away to allow Doyoung to perform the ceremonious ritual of pinching his cheeks.

"What are you doing out here? Did you leave by himself Ten inside? Is he alone right now?" Taeyong asked worriedly as he rubbed the sore flesh.

"He is, but I didn't want to stay in there because Ten invited too many people, so he's going around and talking to person to person, and I don't really know any of the people he invited. Girls from your cheer squad maybe. I saw Rosé. And Sicheng couldn't make it because he has a last minute paper he has to finish up for tomorrow, so. I've just been standing here waiting for you."

Taeyong quirked a brow. "And if I didn't come?"

Doyoung grinned. "You wouldn't have left me here." And before Taeyong could reply, Doyoung looked past him. "Alphas," he greeted.

"Shouldn't reduce me to just my secondary gender don't you think, Doie?" Johnny put a hand to his chest to feign offence, but his telltale cheshire smile was enough to say otherwise. Doyoung rolled his eyes before interlocking arms with Taeyong and pulling him inside the karaoke club

It would've been embarrassing for Taeyong to admit that he had never been to one of such clubs before, but anyone could have guessed it by the wondrous look in his eye. There was faint music coming from each door that they passed, until they arrived at a room at the very end of the hall. True to Doyoung's word, Ten's karaoke room was swimming with people, and there was a member of his cheer team, along with Rosé, singing on the mini stage at the head of the room. Taeyong understood why Doyoung had opted to wait outside, it did seem unnecessarily cramped, whereas he'd believed it'd just be them.

But no, Ten had to have invited a dozen or more people, and Taeyong doubted that this would be the last of it. If he'd come five minutes late, he could only imagine how the place would look like in an hour. Ten was in the middle of conversation with two girls, but he glanced at the door when they entered, and his face visibly lit up. "You guys made it!" Ten said enthusiastically, pulling both Taeyong and Doyoung in for a weirdly placed hug.

"Ten, I thought this was to... y'know..." Taeyong lowered his voice. "I thought you were using this as a distraction. I didn't know you just wanted to throw a mini party."

"This party _is_ a distraction, duh! What better to distract you than getting drunk and singing until your voice goes hoarse? We do cheer, not theatre, so there's no harm. Plus, it's a celebration. I'm celebrating getting over him," Ten said triumphantly, in a voice so loud that it was clear he hadn't gotten Taeyong's message to whisper about Kun.

Doyoung raised a skeptical brow. "Alright."

"Anyway, come, Jae," Ten said to Jaehyun who was standing silently behind both Doyoung and Taeyong, Johnny also by his side. They were both the only Alphas in attendance, Taeyong noted that and the sweetening scents in the room. It was already oversaturated, but now the smell just couldn't be ignored. It wasn't a bad smell, just largely too much.

"Come, please!" Ten said again, holding out a hand. Jaehyun made an inquisitive face before stepping forward. Ten quickly grabbed him by the arm, pulling him forward, and grinned.

"After that sleepover performance, I know you have some musical talent in you. Come sing with me because I know _some people,_ " Ten then shot both Taeyong and Doyoung a pointed look, "would say no." Ten dragged him towards the head of the room as the last two girls finished off their own nicely sung rendition of Run Devil Run by Girls' Generation. Taeyong laughed to himself seeing Ten jump from foot to foot like he couldn't wait to get on stage and shine. Taeyong wasn't surprised, nor did he mind, Ten was made to bask in the limelight, a natural standout performer.

"Let's sit," Johnny said, grabbing their attention.

Taeyong nodded and they shuffled towards the seats, a tight fit between the table and the seats. Taeyong was about to take settle at one of the couch edges where there was enough space for him and Doyoung, but Johnny sent him a pleading look, and Taeyong's will was shattered. Instead, he made his way past that area to the other side where there was an opening for just about only one person. It wouldn't be enough for him and Jaehyun, not by a long shot, but he was slim enough to fit in it by himself for now. The only major downside was the fact that he knew neither people on either of his sides, and that made the slide in and sitting there so much more awkward.

Taeyong watched Doyoung sit beside Johnny and without a grimace, he noted, which was different from the usual expression he wore around the Alpha. It was incredible to see the changes in real time and how little by little, Doyoung's barriers were being fragmented. But Doyoung was steel, Taeyong was, in comparison, glass, so it would take a lot more time to get through, but Johnny was nothing if not determined. Taeyong looked back to Ten and Jaehyun on the mini stage and giggled. Jaehyun didn't exactly look like he had wanted to be there, but what Ten wanted, he was always granted.

The new song, unlike the last one, was in english, Taeyong recognised as the music started up. He leaned back in his seat to listen, occasionally sparing glances at Doyoung and Johnny through his periphery. In the time that the sang, Taeyong felt his eyes fall shut — the song was uncharacteristically soft, and he had thought that Ten would've picked something more upbeat, but the mood in the room was now more mellow than when they arrived. That was until the door opened again, that is.

The pulsating organ hidden behind Taeyong's sternum came to a standstill from the Alpha that had come into his field of vision. It was his scent that made Taeyong open his eyes and then his figure that had caused Taeyong's breath to hitch. For a moment, he'd almost — _almost_ — forgotten who he was, but the Alpha was undeniably familiar, and Taeyong could recognise that bright smile from anywhere. Baekhyun had somehow managed to attend Ten's karaoke get together, and maybe Taeyong should've expected it because Ten's horizons were broadened into oceans far wider than his. He should've known that nothing, or _nobody,_ was completely off the table.

But it was _just_ Baekhyun — Taeyong's shoulders sank at the realisation. It meant that he could breath easy if there was no Chanyeol to accompany him. Maybe they'd broken up. He may not have known Chanyeol, but he did know that Baekhyun deserved better — much better, _far_ better than an Alpha like that. Taeyong shot a look at Doyoung, only to see that it wasn't reciprocated, in fact, Doyoung wasn't looking at him at all — he and Johnny were in whispered conversation, and Doyoung looked... _flushed._

It wouldn't have mattered, Doyoung didn't know what Baekhyun nor Chanyeol meant or the problem's they could bring about, and when Taeyong refocused on Baekhyun, he noticed that the Alpha was coming close to him — directly for him, in fact. His stomach threaded into a web of nerves as Baekhyun approached, still smiling. Baekhyun was harmless — he probably just wanted a place to stay, and Taeyong was the only one left with space despite it being an extremely tight fit. His imagination was overactive, and their encounter was a thing of the past.

"Taeyong, right?" Baekhyun remarked. Taeyong smiled crookedly and nodded. Baekhyun looked different under the coloured, flashing lights. "Can I sit?"

"Yes, please. Sorry, I'll move." Taeyong shifted over until he was pressed against another Omega on his side. He could only pray she didn't think it was purposeful.

"Great." Baekhyun beamed, and he then wedged himself in what little space was left. Taeyong couldn't help but feel much more aware of his presence than he should've been, and perhaps it was because their shoulders were touching, or possibly because Baekhyun was an Alpha and Taeyong's own instincts were meant to react whether Baekhyun had a boyfriend or not. And he felt sorry, too, like he should've been apologising for what happened the last time they met.

"I'm sorry, y'know, for last time. I wasn't trying to..." Taeyong trailed off awkwardly. It was a struggle to meet Baekhyun's eyes, and for a second, he found himself looking at anywhere but him as he spoke — past him to Doyoung, beside him to the Omega on his side, to the floor, even to Jaehyun who was singing, but his eyes were somehow still transfixed on Taeyong. Taeyong knew how it looked, he knew what Jaehyun was probably thinking.

"Trying to hit on Chanyeol?" Baekhyun laughed, and Taeyong hoped he didn't notice the way he stilled at the name. "I know, you don't seem like the type," Baekhyun said, eyes sweeping over him passively, voice falling from a laugh and adopting another tone, one in which Taeyong wasn't able to decipher if its goal was to be insulting or not. "I was nearing my rut at the time, so I was just being territorial... But I heard about you and Jaehyun from Yeol."

"He talked about us?" Taeyong asked in surprise.

"No, he talked about Jaehyun. A lot. But you were in the picture sometimes... Yeol was devastated when Jaehyun turned on him and left." Baekhyun paused for a moment whilst Taeyong took a moment to think, reeling from whiplash. Jaehyun turning on Chanyeol didn't align with what Jaehyun had told him. He had known it to be the other way around — that Jaehyun was forced to leave _because of_ Chanyeol, and with good reason. But now he wondered what was missing from that story... what seemed _out of place._

And the confusion must have been evident in his features because Baekhyun dropped his cadence and went on slowly, hand carefully placed on Taeyong's thigh as if trying to solidify his words. "Has Jaehyun ever told you about any of his exes?"

Taeyong blinked at him as his mind fizzled out, the buzz in the room growing louder. Jaehyun wasn't known to date even then, and Jaehyun had never claimed anyone else as his no matter how many people he had vying for his attention. Jaehyun had told him the reason for it one night, two weeks ago — it was because there was only a slot shaped perfectly like Taeyong. It was stupid and it was cheesy, but he had shoved Jaehyun off and found it disgustingly cute nonetheless. But that was when they'd grown up with each other, and they'd spent two whole years completely apart. It was enough time for Jaehyun to move on and have exes if he pleased.

But Taeyong hadn't known of them, and Jaehyun hadn't mentioned them. And there was a seed of doubt now — growing, festering, scratching, tugging, and pulling at his gut. But, he reminded himself, Baekhyun was a _stranger._ Baekhyun was a stranger associated with the likes of _Chanyeol,_ and that, in and of itself, said enough.

"Listen, I'm not trying to cause trouble or anything. Just ask. I'd say I'm coming to you from Omega to Omega, but...." Baekhyun smiled at him like he hadn't done what Taeyong was sure he had come to do — plant that doubtful seed. It could've been paranoia, maybe Baekhyun could've simply been wishing him the best, but there was a feeling in his gut that told him that that _wasn't it._

"I think— I need to go to the bathroom." Taeyong stood up abruptly. He was far too close to the Alpha for his liking, and he was sure that when the song was over, Jaehyun would come asking what had happened upon seeing that Taeyong smelt anguished, and Taeyong didn't want to make a scene — not here, not now, not ever. He had only come for Ten.

Baekhyun nodded and let him leave, smile growing to bare his teeth. As Taeyong squeezed past the seated people, he made eye contact with Doyoung who was looking at him with something akin to worry coating his features, so Taeyong mouthed an _I'm fine_ to reassure him. He had to mimic the same when passing by Jaehyun to the door, even adding an extra wide smile so that he'd be assured. It was clear that Jaehyun had wanted to follow him — he had already even taken that first step — but Ten roped him in, physically pulling him back by the arm so they could go for another round and what would be their third song. If not for Taeyong's forced smile, he was sure Jaehyun would have pulled away completely.

He faced forward, not daring to look back, as he made a beeline for the exit. He had told Baekhyun a white lie, he needed fresh air, not to go to the toilet, and then he could return as himself and act like nothing had ever happened. Except that he wasn't sure if he could act like nothing had happened because Taeyong was nothing if not curious and, at times, oddly insecure. He hadn't spoken to Jaehyun fully about the two years they'd been apart, knowing that it was a sore subject, but now... now he couldn't help but wonder.

Outside, the music was inaudible, but the sound of his racing heart was enough to make up for it. Taeyong put a hand to his chest. Had Baekhyun's words seriously affected him that much? He licked his lips and closed his eyes, paying attention to the sound of it, but something else, too, had grabbed his attention; the smell of cigarette smoke pungent in the air and the sound of footsteps navigating their way towards his direction. There was a presence beside him then — in front or maybe beside, but too close, much too close, that smelt like burnt cigarettes, ashes, and storms.

Taeyong's eyes shot open at once when he recognised the scent.

_Chanyeol._

His blood ran cold at the sight of the familiar Alpha smirking with a cigarette neatly tucked in between his lips. Taeyong's eyes flickered from his lips to the ground as the Chanyeol dropped it and crushed its body beneath his feet. If it was meant to be intimidating, it worked — with an Alpha so large and so tall, Taeyong would be foolishly brave not to be. But maybe he _was_ foolishly brave, or maybe he was just plain out of it, because he stood up straight, back up against the wall in which he had been resting on, and looked the Alpha in the eye.

"What do you want?"

"I was surprised when you didn't answer my texts," Chanyeol started, ignoring Taeyong's question altogether. The despicable, taunting smirk on his lips grew wider, and with it grew Taeyong's instinctive want to stand down, maybe even do something as stupid as bare his neck, but he didn't. He clenched his hands and fortified his body — Chanyeol didn't need to know just how much he was affected, and he didn't need to know of the hammering of Taeyong's heart.

The night smelled of cigarette ash and woodsmoke.

"I didn't answer your texts for a reason.. wait. Is that why you've been outside? Were you waiting for me?" Taeyong questioned in disbelief. And suddenly, the way Baekhyun had approached him now made sense — they both wanted the same thing from him, that much was clear, but he didn't know what they were gaining from it. Did Chanyeol hate Jaehyun that much? Just what the hell exactly happened because the animosity in the air was so dense that it was palpable.

"You wouldn't like to know what's wrong with your pretty little boyfriend, doll?" Chanyeol asked, smug. He reached out a hand, and Taeyong pulled back.

"Don't touch me. Don't call me that either. You disgust me," Taeyong spat.

"Feisty and cute, I can see why he left me for you." Chanyeol cocked his head.

Taeyong was growing increasingly frustrated. "Do you not have a boyfriend to go to? Were you even _invited?_ "

Chanyeol took a step back, still smiling, his hands in his pockets as he rocked back. "If Baekhyun is, so am I, but I don't need to follow him around like that. It's an open relationship, doll, you should try one of those." Chanyeol eyes flickered over him. "But Jaehyun's never been the type to want to share — the anger issues, you know. Daddy's boy."

Taeyong couldn't even begin to _believe_ the words being spewed out of the Alpha's mouth so casually. "You're— You— He told you that in confidence and you... oh my God." His words wouldn't get through to someone so detestable because it was clear that Taeyong's words would never faze him no matter what he said.

And Taeyong was overcome with the urge to rip his hair out. He'd never been so angry at a person in his life — but if there was anyone coming close to Jaehyun's parents, Chanyeol was next on the list. But Chanyeol didn't care, and Taeyong wasn't large or powerful enough to be intimidating. He should just walk away, he knew, but not without a final word — not without letting the Alpha know just how much of a prick he was. But maybe that's what Chanyeol _wanted_ — to worm his way under Taeyong's skin and implant himself there like an itch that could never be scratched even when right in front of him.

"You're disgusting," Taeyong said through gritted teeth before trying to side step away. He wasn't forced to deal with this, he had people who he'd much rather talk to inside, even if it was too loud and too awkward. Anything was better than what was in front of him right now.

But Chanyeol wasn't done with him yet. "He got her pregnant."

Taeyong stopped in his tracks.

"Wouldn't you like to know the story?" Chanyeol asked with a wicked glint in his eye.

And Taeyong didn't believe him — he _couldn't,_ not when someone like Chanyeol was a borderline pathological liar, and it was clear that his hatred for Jaehyun ran so deep that Taeyong couldn't even begin to fathom its origins; jealousy towards Jaehyun seemed too petty for a man like him. But there was a growing tendril in his chest, wrapping around the muscle of his heart and squeezing it with fear because if what Chanyeol had said was true... _God,_ if what he said was _true.._

"Is this really what it takes? You really hate your best friend that much?" Taeyong scoffed, swallowing down his pills of nervousness. He moved to side step Chanyeol again, but the Alpha came in front of him, now trapping him in his personal space.

Something had flipped, and Chanyeol's demeanour changed at Taeyong's words. "You don't believe me? In fact—"

"Yeol, _again?_ How many times must I tell you to fuck off?" It was Jaehyun, and Taeyong's instincts had already seen him coming — the way Jaehyun must've sensed his feelings and come out, bringing a destructive storm with him. In the blink of an eye, Chanyeol's shirt was fisted, and he was being held up by Jaehyun's ivory white hands. The tension in the air was so thick that it could've been cut with a knife.

Taeyong watched with bated breath as Jaehyun stared Chanyeol down, but Chanyeol's stance didn't falter, and he didn't flinch or back down. But Taeyong hadn't expected him to. He shouldn't have expected the Alpha to be gone from his life at all just because he hadn't answered him a month ago. If Chanyeol wanted to come back, he would — and he _did_ — come back at full force.

"What?" Chanyeol growled, eyes darting to Jaehyun's lips. "Are you going to do it? I've been waiting for one of those legendary punches of yours. I dare you to hit me." And if Jaehyun had been holding back because of Taeyong, Chanyeol's next words were enough to set him off. "Hit me, daddy's boy. Show that Omega bitch who you really are."

That was it. That was enough to send Jaehyun's fist flying and for Chanyeol to skid unto the ground, Taeyong's stomach lurching at the sight. It had begun escalating before he could even think of any way to diffuse it — and he couldn't get in between them, it'd be stupid to, but they were causing a scene now, their bitter scents were growing, so it would only be a minute before other people gathered outside and jeered them on.

Chanyeol propped himself up by his elbows, smiling up at Jaehyun with bloodied teeth. "Are you trying to shut me up? Okay," Chanyeol laughed, throwing his head back in forced, manic laughter. The sight made Taeyong's stomach lurch. "Tell him yourself then. Tell him how you got her pregnant and told her to abort it."

Taeyong's breathing stopped. _"What?"_

At the sound of his words, Jaehyun spun around, eyebrows pulled down in a mixture of anger, frustration, and pleading. His hand came out to reach Taeyong, but Taeyong stepped back, now trying to process what he'd been told over his firing nerves and the violent racing of his heart. He watched as Jaehyun's expression visibly fell, turning crestfallen when Taeyong stepped away. But Taeyong couldn't take it — Chanyeol's words were too much.

"Go on, tell him," Chanyeol goaded, a wicked glint in his eye.

Jaehyun's head snapped back around at him. "Shut the fuck up. That's not what happened and you fucking know it." Jaehyun didn't have any more time to spare with Chanyeol then as he turned back to Taeyong just as fast, now fixated on trying to get the Omega to talk to him. But Taeyong was shell shocked — too dumbfounded to form words. "Taeyong, listen to me. It's... It's not like that. It's not like how he's saying it, I didn't—"

"Give up. You've lost him. I told you you'd regret it. That's what you get for staying with that fucking Omega," Chanyeol laughed, face contorting like he derived some sort of sick pleasure to see him in pain.

"What's going on here?" It could have been Doyoung, or Baekhyun, or Johnny, or whoever else. It wasn't just them outside now, and the commotion had garnered attention. Taeyong felt hands steady him as he reeled from shock — Doyoung, he guessed, firm and scentless.

Jaehyun paused, face morphing from pleading to pinched, to anger, and finally, to realisation — a _grave_ realisation. Jaehyun turned back to Chanyeol who was on the floor, blood smeared over his mouth from laughing so much, and Baekhyun kneeling beside him, whispering for him to get up but going cruelly unnoticed. "Is that what this is about?" Jaehyun started. "You're doing this because you're _jealous?_ "

Baekhyun was the smallest Alpha there, but he surely wasn't the quietest. "Jealous of what? Chanyeol doesn't fucking like Omegas."

"Yeah, he doesn't," Jaehyun answered to gritted teeth. "I know that he likes Alphas. I know that he likes _me._ "

Jaehyun paused again, fire in his eyes as the crowd watched, tense. Taeyong was listening, but the ringing in his airs made it so, so hard. "How about you tell your boyfriend how you tried to fuck me that night? How about you tell him all the times you tried to kiss me and I pushed you, and then the next day you'd pass it off as drunk? I didn't understand why you suddenly changed towards me, but I understand it now. If you can't be happy, nobody can, right? Right?"

Jaehyun then shut his eyes, clenching his fists. "So that's why you told her to abort it?" Jaehyun's voice then began to waver. "She came to you for _advice_... advice to tell _me._ And you told her... you told her that I'd want her to get rid of it, didn't you? She dropped out of school and got rid of her baby because you're fucking _sick,_ not me."

Silence. Nothing but silence. It was too much all at once, and Taeyong was still struggling to put together the pieces. Jaehyun, maybe on a one night fling, maybe during a temporary relationship, had gotten someone pregnant, and _Chanyeol_ told her to get rid of it. Chanyeol, Jaehyun's best friend turned vicious enemy, was in love with Jaehyun.

It clicked completely. _Chanyeol was in love with Jaehyun._

"I-I want to get out of here," Taeyong said shakily, stepping back. "I want to leave."

Jaehyun whipped around, voice tight and eyes dark. "Tae—"

Taeyong shook his head. "Take me out, take me out, take me _out._ I want to _leave._ " The arms around him had tightened, and it was Doyoung carrying him up. Taeyong felt as if his heart had been wrenched out of his chest, lips bitten down so hard on his bottom lip that he drew blood. Doyoung was taking him away, and he wouldn't look back — he couldn't stand to see any of it or else he would crumble. He couldn't take it.

"I can't..." Taeyong began as Doyoung took him away. "I can't do this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t tell me you forgot about chanyeol, did you? never. but what is there left for me to say now... wowza.  
> (kudos and comments are, as always, appreciated!) (and i would also like to clarify that taeyong isn’t against abortion, his reaction will make sense in the next chapter!)  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc comments also welcomed](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


	13. The Beginning To The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conclusions and Epilogues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to especially to Nat for helping me when I was stuck with this!
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Taeyong leaned back on the seat, phone in hand and breathing shallow in disheartenment. The car had begun to grow cold with every passing second he spent in it, but he couldn't leave just yet — he couldn't find the will to gather the feelings in his legs and _leave._ It was childish almost, like he was waiting for someone to take him by the hand and walk him out into the café in which Jaehyun was sat, waiting. But he couldn't do it himself, he couldn't even lift a finger, all he could do was dart his eyes between his phone for Doyoung, who was offering him intangible moral support, and Jaehyun whose head was cast down.

If Jaehyun looked up, he would've seen him hours ago. He would've seen when Johnny parked outside and let the engine run before realising that Taeyong still wasn't ready yet and turning it off. He would've seen the way that Taeyong had nearly cried — _nearly_ — on the verge of it because Doyoung had stopped him from unravelling completely. He blinked at the last text from Doyoung asking him if he'd gone in after their previous back and forth exchange. The answer was still no. It'd been two hours, and the answer remained a solid no.

He turned his phone off and shut his eyes, resting his head back — he wouldn't answer again until the answer was instead a firm _yes._

"Tae..." Johnny began kindly in the driver's seat beside him. "Do you want to go home? I understand if you can't do it. If you reschedule, he'll still be there."

Perhaps Johnny was beginning to grow impatient, or maybe it was an act of kindness, but the reality of going home and possibly never mustering the courage to return again for another two weeks or more was exactly what Taeyong needed to snap him up. He couldn't take what Johnny had offered him so easily, and he couldn't put off seeing Jaehyun any longer. It was painful, almost, to see him around school and divert his eyes, and his heart ached every time he caught sight of the Alpha, ignored another text or missed call, or simply got a whiff of his scent around campus.

More than his Omega missing him, _Taeyong_ missed him, and it would be a damn shame for all they had overcome to go to waste. No. They'd crossed rugged mountain-like obstacles, and this was just another one of them. He just needed to talk Jaehyun and hear his side. But to have not heard it from Jaehyun in the first place... it hurt. It made his chest swirl with a torrent of emotions every time he thought back to Chanyeol and the words that had spilled so carelessly from his lips — words enough to break up a normal relationship.

But he and Jaehyun had never been normal from the get go, and it was that sole fact that set them apart from the rest.

Taeyong pushed himself up by the car handle to sit up straighter. He turned to Johnny, swallowing. "No... No, I can go in now. I've waited enough. He has too." Johnny's stare was doused in sympathy, and Taeyong couldn't stand it. He knew what Johnny was thinking, and he couldn't bear the pity. And he was no longer a child, he could face his problems like an adult, unaided in the world. "But thank you," he went on.

Taeyong put his hand on the car handle before pushing it out, hand cold against the silver metal. The gust of air hit his lungs so hard that it made him regain the feelings he'd lost in the car from having sat so long that every fibre of his being had grown numb. As he stated through the window, his breath hitched. There was no backing out now because Jaehyun had seen him — Jaehyun with tired, crestfallen eyes, had _caught him._ Or maybe he'd seen Taeyong long ago, and maybe he had been giving the Taeyong the option to back out by not calling him out, a self serving punishment.

But now that he was out, and there was no going back in.

"Would you like me to wait?" Taeyong heard Johnny's voice from behind him.

Taeyong let go of the car door handle, like it burned his hand. "No. I'll get home by myself. You can... you can leave," Taeyong said reassuringly. Johnny didn't look convinced, but it was neither the time, nor the place, nor the atmosphere to argue. Johnny quietly nodded, but he didn't leave. He wouldn't, Taeyong knew, not until Taeyong was seated firmly inside. And though Taeyong appreciated the offer, he would need time to process it all afterwards — he'd need to be silent and alone with his thoughts.

With his breath held, cusped tightly together and bottled up in a hole somewhere in his chest, Taeyong walked in.

It was warmer inside where they'd chosen to meet, and it was quieter than he'd expected it to be, too. Private conversations couldn't be private here, not truly, not if you weren't speaking in mere whispers, but for Taeyong's sake, they were forced to meet like this in public. Taeyong was strong and he had grown, but he was still a man who had the urge to succumb, and Jaehyun always had the powerful capability to bend, to mold, and to shape. If they'd met privately, Taeyong wouldn't have lasted like this — he would have never been able to face Jaehyun as he was now, features schooled and body poised.

And it was hard to keep up the act. It was hard to walk in and not fall to his knees once he was bombarded with a smell so sweet it made him want to submit. He could blame it on his Omega instincts, but he could never blame the itch to draw his body over the table and hold the Alpha in his arms on _just that._ Though, he had to stay put. But Jaehyun's scent held bitter notes, like a man who was starved and deprived for far too long. And he was quiet when Taeyong sat — they both were, the exchange between them wordless. They didn't need words to tell of their feelings, but they needed words to put all they had ever been through behind.

"I've missed you." Jaehyun was first to start, seeing that Taeyong made no attempts to speak. The words had gone away from him, and he couldn't pull at their threads to drag them back down. "I've missed you a lot, Bubu," Jaehyun said quietly. Taeyong cast his eyes away. It was that name — something as trivial as that was enough to make him melt. "I know you're looking for explanations—"

"I am," Taeyong blurted. "I am. And I want to know— I want to know it _all._ Tell me what happened in the time we were apart, Jaehyun."

Taeyong tried to make himself sound stern, but he could only pray that Jaehyun didn't hear the crack in his voice. They were apart for two years before they'd met again here in SNU, and Taeyong had worried during that time — he'd spent his days wondering if Jaehyun, wherever the Alpha was, was okay. But out of all the possibilities he had conjured up at night, he had never in his wildest dreams imagined _this._ It was dangerous territory — one that would have, at the time, broke his heart.

Jaehyun sighed, looking down. There was nothing in front of either of them. They hadn't ordered, and nobody had come to ask them to. Maybe they had sensed the sort of conversation they were having, and maybe they'd seen the pained look in the Alpha's eyes, because they had remained undisturbed. There was nothing to distract either of them, so they were forced to do what they had come to do; _speak._

"I don't think you know this," Jaehyun said, levelling him an ineffable look. "But I've only ever slept with a handful of people in my life." Jaehyun paused as if to gauge his reaction, and he seemed to find what he was looking for — disbelief written all over Taeyong's face. The Alpha hardened his jaw. "There is a way people think of me, and I don't know where they get the impression. And I didn't think you'd think of me like that either... but you _do,_ and I'd like to know why."

Taeyong stared at him silently, his doubt beginning to morph into realisation. He had never said it before because it hadn't needed to be said, but there was always a way he'd perceive Jaehyun — a certain way he'd paint Jaehyun in his mind because it was easy to fit him in such a mold. Jaehyun was always surrounded by girls and guys wherever he'd go, but that didn't mean what Taeyong had thought it meant, and it had created an insecurity for him back then out of nothing. Jaehyun, truly, never spared many people a second glance. But Jaehyun was attractive, Jaehyun was popular, and Taeyong had presumed...

That was the problem — Taeyong had _presumed._

"Yes, go ahead and ask me, I know you've wondered. I may have slept with other people when drunk, or stupid, or inexperienced, but I could never sleep with you. I could never have asked you even if I knew you would have jumped at the opportunity," Jaehyun said plainly, and Taeyong winced. It was nothing short of the truth — he was easier that time, eager to please, and if Jaehyun, stupid, boyish, and cute at seventeen, had asked... he wouldn't have said no. He _knew_ he wouldn't have said no.

"You can go ahead and ask about them all, and then I'll tell you about her and how it happened... because you deserve to know, Tae, and you deserve to have your questions answered," Jaehyun told him — _her_ meaning the Beta or Omega he'd gotten pregnant.

Taeyong diverted his eyes and chewed the inside of his cheek, fiddling with a loose thread on his jeans under the table. He wanted to know about Jaehyun's exes, but there was a voice in his head accusing him of irrational insecurity. Did he have to know? What did they mean to him now? They were nothing but a mark on his otherwise perfect record. But Taeyong was a weak willed and curious man.

"You know, this is really stupid," Taeyong started, inhaling, but Jaehyun shot him a cornered look, as if taking Taeyong's words incredibly seriously, "but it has always been something that bothered me since. The time we first met.. at the party last year..." Jaehyun's eyes darkened, but nodded his head all the same, and so, Taeyong went on. "There was this girl with you. Hovering around you, sort of. With smudged lipstick... And I thought—"

"Did she smell like me, Tae?" Jaehyun cut off, voice low.

"No, but—"

"Did she smell like me?"

"No." But Taeyong didn't feel like conceding. Not just yet. Not exactly. He had started, and he wouldn't stop until his spirit was put slightly at rest. "And there was another girl, the one with you when Johnny and I saw you when we went shopping. That was a second girl."

"Group project," Jaehyun answered emotionlessly, like he had been expecting that question since the time they were spotted together.

Jaehyun had, since then, been waiting for this. Taeyong chomped down on his teeth to prevent him from speaking another word. None of it mattered, and none of them had even started to have lasted, but there was one — Chanyeol had said it, Jaehyun had admitted it, and Taeyong couldn't forget it. There was one he'd left out that Jaehyun would answer for him.

A silence settled over them as if Jaehyun was waiting for him to ask another question — as if he was ready to dispel Taeyong's worries then and there. But Taeyong had come to terms with everything that had led them up to such a point so far. Jaehyun sighed, letting out a deep breath. "I'm going to tell you what happened, and I want you to just... just hear me out. It looks so fucking bad, I know, but it didn't happen the way you're thinking, Tae," Jaehyun said, and Taeyong gulped, ready to listen. He tucked his bottom lip between his teeth to stop it from trembling.

"While I was at BSU, I stuck to myself. Football, friends, study, repeat. It was a routine I dove into to get you off my mind because, shit, if I wasn't busy, I was thinking about _you._ All the time. Every day. I don't think there was a day when you weren't on a mind," Jaehyun admitted, and Taeyong's heart tremored at the confession, red colouring the length of his otherwise pale throat. But if Jaehyun noticed him blushing, he didn't comment on it, and instead he went on with his speech like he had been waiting for this specific moment for Taeyong to open a crack a gap and allow him to slip back into his life through the folds.

"But it wasn't enough. There were nights, Tae... Nights were lonely, and the dark made my destructive thoughts fester. It was crippling." Jaehyun's voice began to waver at the end, but then he smoothened his features over and hardened his jaw, determined not to go off track. Taeyong listened with nerves of fire. "But then I met this girl, an Omega, and I slept with her once. Just once. And I didn't intend on going back to her. She was the fourth and final person, I decided, before I'd go back to you. But she kept coming back.. and she was persistent, and she smelt sweet.. and to be honest, she just... she reminded me of _you._ "

Taeyong shut his eyes and breathed out deeply. "Okay."

"So one day, I let her in. I shouldn't have when I knew I was still stuck on you. It was an asshole move. But at the time.. she made my nights a little less lonely, and that's all I really wanted." Jaehyun paused to run a hand through his hair.

"It only went on for three months, nearly four, before she disappeared on me. And this was before Chanyeol turned on me and everything turned to shit. One day she just stopped answering my calls and my texts, and then I slowly stopped calling and texting. We were a fling. She'd never told me she loved me, and I hadn't said it either, so I thought maybe she had noticed the way my heart just wasn't in it. I even told Chanyeol, and he told me.. he fucking told me to just _get over it._ "

Taeyong nodded smally and stoically, not exactly ready to process his whirlpool of emotions. Jaehyun stopped to fish out his phone from his back pocket and slide it over the table. "Then I got these a month later after things started to go bad with me and Yeol. It was these texts that made me transfer. Yeol, I could take, but... the baby— _my baby._ I couldn't stay there anymore, I couldn't look at myself after what happened."

Taeyong's hand trembled as he retrieved the phone. It was text messages detailing her choice to get an abortion, accompanied by a sonogram. He stared down at the black and white picture she'd attached, stomach lurching. That was her child and her choice, but to know that someway, somewhere, in another life Jaehyun would have had that child.. he didn't know how to feel about it. He stopped to breathe. He stopped to think. It was all true, and the damning evidence was splayed right in front of him — what more was there to say?

Suddenly, Taeyong dropped the phone, and it skidded across the table to Jaehyun. His breathing became rapid, and his eyes wet with tears, a hurricane of emotions winding through him so fast that he couldn't even _begin_ to pick apart what he was truly feeling. He stood up sharply, hand to his mouth, but just as quickly, Jaehyun stood up and held his hand so he couldn't get away. It wasn't over yet, and there were people staring at them, but it wasn't over yet — there was too much and too little left unsaid.

"Sit," Jaehyun said with pleading eyes.

_"Please."_

Taeyong's eyes flickered between the warm, familiar hand wrapped around his limp wrist to Jaehyun's face — the Alpha who looked two plausible seconds away from getting down on his knees and begging his heart out. He wasn't prideful anymore, he wasn't above it — he couldn't be if there was a chance that Taeyong would walk out that door and never speak to him again. Taeyong's heart pounded against his chest as he came to a final decision.

"Thank you," Jaehyun started as Taeyong sat back down, body coated in visible apprehension. "Thank you so much." Jaehyun sat back down too, looking as if a two year burden had been carried off his shoulders by Taeyong alone.

Taeyong could feel something in his throat — acidic, like bile rising as he spoke. "I understand that it was.. a mistake. But if that was me..." Taeyong began. He only ever wanted to know one thing. "If it was me, would you have told me to get rid of it? Would you have let me go? Or would—"

Jaehyun gripped Taeyong's hands tightly across the table. "No," he said harshly, brows pulled down in what could be mistaken as silent fury, but was simply nothing short of admirable tenacity. "I would have never. Not to our child. Not to hers either. If by some miracle you were pregnant, Tae, we'd take care of that baby together," Jaehyun said, steadfast.

Taeyong could feel everything that had flooded over him ebb away. He'd never seen such will in the Alpha's eyes — _never._ The way Jaehyun looked at him was causing him to crack, though, he hadn't come in made of steel in the first place. But Taeyong could see the willingness to try in the Alpha's eyes, and some would have called his next question was stupid, or curious, or perhaps the very thing he needed to let go completely. It didn't matter. He couldn't have held his tongue if he tried — not when everything was already so out in the open and caution had been thrown into the wind.

"And if it wasn't your child?" Taeyong countered, mustering the strength to give Jaehyun a look that told him that it wasn't a joke.

It was a possibility — one so tangible and real that it could have happened in this lifetime or the next. And he was treading into dangerous waters by asking because there was the unspoken implication of Jaehyun's best friend. There had always been that terrible, godforsaken possibility that twice, during his heats, he could have been impregnated by the Alpha's best friend himself. That would have been a curse — it would have been enough to strike thunder between their once unbreakable bond. And it was stupid, reckless, and childish, but he wanted to _know._

Jaehyun had almost faltered before he answered, but he was a man, and what Taeyong was putting out was enough to put a block in the way of even the sturdiest men. But Jaehyun didn't have to be all that, he simply had to love him. Jaehyun squeezed Taeyong's fingers and smiled — crooked, forced around the edges like he was trying his hardest, but reassuring.

"If you were still with me, and if you still wanted me, the child would be ours. I don't know if I could be a good father, I haven't had much guidance, but I would do everything in my power to make us a family and a home."

Taeyong stared. Taeyong stared, and stared, and _stared._

Jaehyun wasn't lying to appease him — Jaehyun didn't often lie, and if he didn't want to answer, he would dodge; he would make his way out of the gravelled grave he had dug himself into. Jaehyun was earnest and, above all, _honest,_ and Taeyong, for once, could feel it. It had been his main insecurity — it had been the reason he'd spent so long putting this meet up off. He imagined if it was him at the time, he imagined if Jaehyun hadn't wanted a baby, he imagined if he had gotten rid of it. He had been afraid, at the time, of Jaehyun's words being a resolute, unshakeable _no._

Jaehyun let go of one of his hands on the table cup Taeyong's cheek, wiping it down with his thumb. He hadn't realised he was crying. He didn't even know when the tears had begun, nor what they were for. There was something growing in his chest — a vine of feelings wrapping around his head until it squeezed. It hurt, but it was a different kind of a pain. And the tears weren't the ones he had anticipated coming in, nor were they the ones he had held back in the seat of Johnny's cars — these were tears of relief, of alleviation, of _happiness._

These, Taeyong thought, were different from the others because they were freeing tears of _joy._

Taeyong was pulled upwards and engulfed in a body so warm and familiar, and so perfectly crafted to fit against his. He was still crying when Jaehyun wiped his tears, he was still crying when Jaehyun walked him out of the café, and he was still crying when Jaehyun gently helped him into the seat of his car and prised his seatbelt across his chest like he was a child. It was juvenile how he was acting, maybe, but he didn't care. Not anymore. He felt a certain lightness that he had never once felt before — light enough to be floating. Or perhaps he was just dizzy from all the crying.

Taeyong threw his head back in laughter. _God,_ was it freeing.

Jaehyun's large hand circling his thigh pulled him back down from his high and grounded him back into reality. He realised it then, belatedly, that the direction they were going wasn't to Johnny and Taeyong's home — it was to Jaehyun's. Taeyong had only been there once or twice, but he had the route mapped out in the back of his mind, so if he ever got lost, there was always another place he could turn to.

"You're not taking me home?" Taeyong croaked as he wiped the streaks of tears that had crystallised under his eyes.

"No."

Taeyong's brows furrowed before he paused to notice the change in the air. Their scents had been heavy and bitter then — masked with hesitance, doubt, and pain, but there had always been an underlying note of something else, and now it had skyrocketed. _Want._ From Jaehyun specifically. Taeyong's eyes widened upon taking note of it, and he stared at Jaehyun in the driver's seat. Jaehyun was staring straight up ahead, one hand curled around the steering wheel with vice grip. His face was blank — impassive, even. His body language said one thing, but the smell of arousal that drenched them both said another.

"Don't tell me you got horny from me crying?" Taeyong laughed lightly. "Is this a kink of yours?"

Jaehyun licked his lips, not even sparing him a glance. "I'll be honest with you, Bubu. When I wasn't thinking about how to get you back, I was thinking about the pregnancy thing — specifically how you'd look filled with my pups." When Taeyong didn't answer, shellshocked, Jaehyun went on. "I was thinking of how you'd look under me when I breed. Of how you'd moan when I put the tip in and your back would arch because you're oversensitive like that."

Taeyong's eyes widened and his thighs closed in on Jaehyun's hand involuntarily. Then, Jaehyun begun to chuckle. "You might get mad at me for saying this, but while you were asking me about getting pregnant, I wanted to bend you over and fuck you over that table in for the world to see."

The atmosphere changed, a mix of scents in the air, not only Jaehyun's now, but Taeyong's too. Jaehyun's words had an effect on him, much more than he could ever have imagined. With Jaehyun's free hand placed tightly between his thighs, thumb stroking dangerously close to his groin, Taeyong opted to leer out of the window in an attempt to distract himself. It didn't work. His breathing turned slightly uneven as Jaehyun managed to inch his hand upwards, yet somehow, it was as if the Alpha remained completely unaffected in expression.

Taeyong would have been embarrassed if he couldn't smell Jaehyun to know that he wasn't alone in what he was feeling. But Jaehyun was magnetic, he pulled Taeyong in involuntarily, and all the while that the car vibrated as they drove, Taeyong's eyes kept flickering back to him — to the cut of his jaw, the darkened look in his eyes, and to the milky white skin that Taeyong wished to mark. The thought was like a slap to the face — to mark, _to be marked._ It was primal — instinctual, even.

They were at Jaehyun's single apartment before he knew it, but even then, Taeyong didn't step down. He was waiting for something that even he didn't know of. But the answer came in physical, solid form when Jaehyun turned to him, eyes stormy as he gave one command.

"Get out."

Taeyong stared back at him for a brief moment, unblinking as he scoured Jaehyun's face to figure out what he was thinking, but found nothing but unsheathed want alight in his eyes. He practically scrambled to get himself out of the car then, and his veins thrummed with anticipation as he watched Jaehyun do this same — but slowly, dragging it out, as if he was purposefully prolonging what they both knew was to come simply to drive Taeyong mad.

Jaehyun's apartment was blanketed in darkness when they entered, and it was silent, but the beating of his heart spoke volumes. There was something imperceptible around them now — electric and charged, like fireworks set alight in his veins — and when he turned around, he was met with a predatory look in Jaehyun's eyes. Jaehyun flipped the light switch so that Taeyong could clearly see him stalking towards him. Jaehyun stopped in front of him, eyes tracing Taeyong's features, before he put a hand to his jaw to cup it.

Taeyong unconsciously bit down on his bottom lip, eyes flickering from Jaehyun's eyes to his mouth. The thumb placed firmly into the flesh of his jaw then moved to untuck the lip between his teeth, and Taeyong watched with bated breath as Jaehyun focused on thumbing his lips. Slowly, Jaehyun parted them until a warm thumb was placed in his mouth completely. Taeyong's heart pounded as he sucked. He was new at this, and he didn't even know if that was what he was supposed to _do,_ but as Jaehyun's look grew impossibly darker, he knew that he must've been doing something right.

Jaehyun took his thumb out with a sickening pop, and it was replaced with the warmth of his lips instead. It was tender at first, careful and slow, but that was until Taeyong's hands snaked around his neck, and whatever had been holding Jaehyun back was torn down. He pushed his tongue in, demanding for entrance to explore Taeyong's wet cavern, and his large palms went to Taeyong's waist where they pulled him in closer. They crept up under his shirt slowly, fiery hands drawing patterns up every inch of his skin until they reached Taeyong's pink nubs, and the Omega gasped into his mouth.

Jaehyun kissed him harder. It was a broken kiss, but one so fuelled by want that Taeyong fleetingly wondered how the Alpha had been holding himself back the entire time. Jaehyun drew back first, and Taeyong inhaled a sharp intake of air to catch his breath. Jaehyun had left him so intoxicated that he forgot he even needed to _breathe._ Jaehyun's eyes glazed over as he admired Taeyong's red, swollen lips, and Taeyong did the same, taking an arm from around Jaehyun's neck to instead use his slender fingers to graze the Alpha's lips.

"Take me."

If Taeyong had drank before their meeting, he would've called it liquid courage, but it was nothing like that, it was nothing of the sort, it was a sudden burst of lust driven confidence that had made him utter those words. Jaehyun needn't have been told twice because with one swift move, Jaehyun's hands under his shirt yanked it overhead, and then it was carelessly tossed away. It was cold like this, and Taeyong felt bare, naked, exposed — insecure, even. Jaehyun had never seen him like this. It had been the other way many many times, but never like _this._

Jaehyun's eyes swept over his figure, and for a moment, the darkness clouding his eyes dissipated. Taeyong averted his gaze, fidgeting under Jaehyun's calloused palms. "Beautiful," Jaehyun muttered as Taeyong's heart picked up speed. "You've always been so pretty, you know that?" he said suddenly. "And you fit right in my arms. I think you were made for me."

Taeyong's skin flushed under Jaehyun's heated gaze. "Perfect," he repeated, "absolutely fucking perfect."

Though, the moment of sweetness was gone in the blink of an eye because all of a sudden, Jaehyun picked him up, causing Taeyong to let out a yelp of surprise. The Alpha grunted before making his way into the bedroom where Taeyong was thrusted unto the bed where it jumped and creaked beneath him. Jaehyun looked menacing like this — predatory, even — with the way he towered over him, devouring Taeyong with his eyes. And Jaehyun was unpredictable because Taeyong could barely get a word out before, again, everything on his lower half was yanked down.

Jaehyun smirked. "Going commando, are we? You sly, little thing."

"I hadn't thought—"

"You hadn't thought what?" Jaehyun cut him off, palms splaying over Taeyong's bare thighs and fingers digging into them. It was like he wanted to leave a mark, a bruise, a _claim._ "You didn't think I'd bring you here today to fuck you?" Jaehyun chuckled, looming over him on the bed. "Well, I didn't either, sweetheart, but sometimes we don't ask for what we get."

Taeyong blushed and suddenly felt the urge to cover his nakedness. Jaehyun's eyes were too much — it was like he was being consumed with the way they sucked him in. But Jaehyun wasn't having it. He gripped Taeyong's hands and placed them firmly by his sides. Taeyong couldn't even cover his face in embarrassment when Jaehyun said, "You have the prettiest cock." He paused. "It's cute. It suits you."

Jaehyun leaned down to blow cool air on the tip of it and then laughed softly when Taeyong jolted. It was too sensitive.

"Are you— Are you going to get on with it?" Taeyong asked simply because he couldn't stand being teased that way, especially since it would be his first time. He had always thought of scenarios in which his innocence was stripped and taken from him once and for all, and begrudgingly, they had often included the Alpha right in front of him. But this was too vivid, too surreal, and almost too much to bear.

"Are you telling me what to do?" Jaehyun cocked a brow, and Taeyong chewed on his bottom lip. "Patience, Bubu."

The mixture of Jaehyun's thrown in tidbits of softness clashed with the tension in the air, making Taeyong almost dizzy from whiplash. Abruptly, Jaehyun let go of his wrists to stand tall. Taeyong's throat clogged as he watched him take off his shirt first, muscles flexing in the light as he stood proudly, sporting a shiteating grin like he _knew_ Taeyong was admiring him, and he _knew_ that he had worked too hard for his body for Taeyong not to. Jaehyun took off everything else then, and Taeyong's mind shattered when he realised how small he was in comparison — from his lithe body, to the indents of his barely-there abs, to his cock. Jaehyun blew him out of the water in every aspect.

It may have been embarrassing if Taeyong didn't seem to have an odd thing for their size difference. "Your thing's pretty," he disclosed out of nervousness. Jaehyun raised a brow at the fact that Taeyong had called his cock _pretty._ In all honesty, Taeyong almost didn't want that monstrous thing near him. "It's handsome!" he corrected. "...it's nice."

There was a pause, a beat or two of tangible silence, in which Taeyong was afraid his unthinking, bold words had ruined it all, but Jaehyun merely tipped his head back and _laughed._ Taeyong watched, dumbfounded and pink colouring his neck to the apple of his cheeks as Jaehyun's baritone laughter reverberated around the room. And somehow, it calmed him to hear it. It reminded him of who he was with — _Jaehyun_ — and that he didn't have to overthink it because whether he was good or bad, Jaehyun would always take care of him.

It was the exact reassurance he needed to let the knots in his bones unfurl and for the atmosphere to grow slightly lighter. He was still scared, he was still terrified, but above all, he was _assured._ And when Jaehyun's laughter faded and he eyed Taeyong with a grin, Taeyong felt his heart soar. "You're so cute," Jaehyun said before leaning down. Then his smile turned into a smirk as his hand went down to caress and squeeze Taeyong's flesh. "And you've got this pert little ass."

Jaehyun paused, eyes lidding over once more. "I wonder how tight it is. Tell me, Tae, have you ever fucked yourself open before?"

Taeyong blinked down at him rapidly and shook his head as Jaehyun's hand went from his ass to his fingers instead circling his rim. He was wet with slick already. "I.. I have," Taeyong admitted, albeit not shamefully. He had done it before just to feel around and to get used to the wonders of sex he had heard about, but he hadn't felt much but bony fingers and the occasional tingles of pleasure when he brushed his _sweet spot._

Jaehyun's eyes grew stormy at his admission. "I'd like to watch. But not today."

Suddenly, Jaehyun climbed up on the bed and spread Taeyong's legs apart, hands gripping his thighs unforgivingly. With one hand to keep Taeyong firmly in place, he used his other to rediscover Taeyong's wet hole with his fingers. It was one finger first that made the Omega gasp — then two, then three, then Jaehyun was fucking into him hard and fast, making him writhe. Taeyong let out a broken moan as Jaehyun almost instantly found the nerve bundle of fibres that made up his prostate. Arousal made his cock swell, and lust swirled in him, but just as quick as he was given it, it was snatched away.

Jaehyun pulled his fingers out with a loud squelch that had Taeyong's stomach burning from equal parts warmth and embarrassment. With hooded eyes, he took his fingers to his lips before licking over them. Taeyong's lips parted as he watched Jaehyun lap up his slick like it was the sweetest of juices and finest of honeys. Jaehyun then paused.

"You need to see how good you taste."

Without another word, he leaned down over Taeyong's body to meet his lips in a harsh, bruising kiss so that Taeyong could taste his slick. It was slightly sweet, a little thick, but just enough to stir something inside him that he'd never felt before. Hungrily, he dug his fingers into Jaehyun's broad shoulders and dragged him down so that they were chest to chest as they kissed, and he could feel each and every groove of Jaehyun's abs. One of his hands snaked into Jaehyun's hair, tugging it as lust fuelled his actions, and Jaehyun's hands gripped his waist hard enough to bruise.

They were practically panting into each other's mouths when it was over, sharing the same breath, and Taeyong's eyes mirrored his own — pupils blown over and every other emotion replaced by want. Jaehyun pulled away and growled. "You're fucking gorgeous," Jaehyun told him, not half as breathless as Taeyong would have been had it been him to say those words. "One look at you drives me crazy, and then to see you like this? _God._ "

Jaehyun let out a string of curses, and Taeyong smiled, still breathless. Jaehyun had truly sucked the life out of him in that earth shattering kiss. Without another word or song to sing his praise, Jaehyun readjusted so that his cock was aligned with Taeyong's entrance. The head of it teased the puckered rim of his hole whilst Taeyong's body naturally adjusted, slick spilling out to coat his warm thighs. And then, without warning, Jaehyun plunged in.

Taeyong let out a cry at the feeling of painful invasiveness. It didn't matter how wet and slick filled he was — slick practically gushing out of him — he was still too tight, and Jaehyun was too big, and Taeyong it was a combination that caused his head to spin. It hurt. It hurt so bad. It hurt like a goddamn _bitch,_ but once Jaehyun moved in slightly, cock grazing his walls deliciously, Taeyong's cries turned into wanton moans. His skin was electrified as Jaehyun moved slowly to let him adjust. He knew Jaehyun was holding back, he saw the starved look in the man's eyes, but Jaehyun still let him take as much time as necessary.

"Ready?" Jaehyun growled, hands on the flesh of Taeyong's thighs to ensure that they were spread apart. They were so secure on his skin that Taeyong couldn't run, he couldn't hide, and he couldn't escape Jaehyun's clutches whether he tried to or not. Tears welled in Taeyong's eyes, but the answer was obvious.

He nodded, craning his neck. "Ready."

From then on, whatever sick and twisted beast that had been hiding within Jaehyun was unleashed. He drove into him mercilessly, eliciting rugged, uneven cries from the Omega. Taeyong's skin burned where he touched, lust thrumming in his veins and seeping into his skin. His body writhed underneath him, and then Jaehyun placed a calloused palm on Taeyong's stomach to feel his bulge deep within the Omega's guts. Fuck, if it didn't do something to him.

"Want to breed," Jaehyun said darkly. "Want to fuck you so hard that you go dumb and so often that you'll be filled with my pups within a week."

But Taeyong wouldn't last a week, not at the rate they were going. And Jaehyun must have been the reincarnation of the devil, for the feeling of him inside Taeyong was like fire. The headboard swayed with every nailed thrust, and the bed creaked every time Jaehyun switched angles so that he could find the perfect spot to finesse. Jaehyun threw his head back and let out a broken moan, keeping his pace, the sound causing goosebumps to rise and scorch Taeyong's skin. Taeyong's eyes were glazed over, and his lips were parted in some fucked out daze.

And then, he lost it.

Taeyong's hands found purchase on Jaehyun's skin, scrambling violently as Jaehyun fucked into him, body feverish with want. He could feel the arousal that had broiled in his gut slowly build up quicker now — it grew rapidly, sharp and jagged like blazing mountains, until it reached his peak where he burst. His fingers dug into the expanse of Jaehyun's skin as he came, cum spurting in thick, white ribbons from his cock and staining the both of them. And despite this — despite his overwhelming oversensitivity — Jaehyun drilled into him before his own thrusts became shallow and unevenly paced, slowing down as he came.

Jaehyun's sweat-slicked body fell over his with a grunt as his cum filled Taeyong's warm insides. Taeyong shivered at the feeling of it coating his walls, seemingly never ending. The air around them was dense and weighted when Jaehyun pulled back, body straining from all the work, so much so that each muscle in his body, that had undergone wear and tear, bulged. They shared a look between them, one that said a thousand words without a single one ever needing to be spoken aloud.

And then, Jaehyun smiled. "I'm locked in."

Taeyong's brain was still fuzzy around the edges, but when he registered it, he scrambled to sit up. _"You're locked in?"_

Jaehyun laughed as Taeyong felt Jaehyun's cock swell inside him. It was true. He was locked in. Taeyong could feel it. "How does it feel to take an Alpha's knot for the first time?" Jaehyun asked warmly, hands caressing Taeyong's curved abdomen as the the tension from sex was gone, and they began basking in the afterglow.

"I don't think I'll be able to walk for a week," Taeyong said truthfully, regaining his breath.

And then Jaehyun laughed, and when Jaehyun began to laugh, Taeyong began to laugh with him. He felt light headed — delirious almost, and woozy from pleasure. But he laughed in tandem, body curling around Jaehyun so that he was now laughing into the crook of his neck. Taeyong playfully gave it a kitten lick and felt Jaehyun shiver. With a bright, genuine smile, he pulled away to face Jaehyun who was eyeing him, warm and attentive. This was it. Every worry he had ever had had been washed away — they had to be when Jaehyun was looking at him with so much _love._

"I think we're together now," Taeyong surmised lightly.

Jaehyun pecked his lips. "I think we are." His eyes searched Taeyong's features as he tilted his head, whispering words that belonged to a dream. "And I think I love you."

**Epilogue**

There was a certain lightness under his feet, something that made his steps a little bouncier than usual. It was like a weight had been shifted, solid from his bones, and converted into something airy and impalpable. Taeyong walked with a dopey smile on his face, body buzzing with elation and fingers drumming the surface of books he was holding to his chest. It was embarrassing, almost, how he was practically skipping, but Taeyong hadn't found it in himself to care. In both Ten and Sicheng's words, he had become _shameless._

Taeyong turned to Doyoung, bubbly, as they made their way to the locker room. "Doie, I feel like I'm floating."

Doyoung snorted as he pushed open the door. The room was empty, bar one of the cheer team members tying her shoelaces on a far away bench. "I think you've just been dicked down. It's making you loopy," Doyoung told him. "I doubt he's that good in bed."

Taeyong nudged his shoulder, grinning. "Sounds like someone needs some Alpha dick of their own. Don't project, Doyoung, it's not cute."

"God, you've been sounding more and more like Ten by the day."

Taeyong laughed, tipping his head back. Doyoung was right, to an extent, but that was only because the cheer team had been having more meetings as of late. He still always carved a place out for Doyoung in his heart and of his time, and he wouldn't ever forget the person who had sat beside him that very first day when nobody else would. If Doyoung was a mother bird, Taeyong was his own flesh and blood that he had helped set flight. The were obstacles and there were tumbles, but Taeyong knew, without a doubt, that he never would have made it as far as he had without someone like Doyoung by his side.

They made their way over to Taeyong's locker to retrieve one of his spare drawing pads that he had left behind. Doyoung leaned his shoulder on one of the lockers and crossed his arms as Taeyong opened up his locker, another smile growing out of anticipation. Taeyong's heart fluttered when he noticed what had been left for him this time. It had been months, yet Jaehyun hadn't let up with the gifts — flowers, sweets, arrays of chocolates. Taeyong licked his lips, eyes shining as he reached in for the pack of sweet potatoes left behind and the sticky note attached.

"What does it say this time?" Doyoung asked, clearly entertained.

Taeyong quickly pocketed it into his red and white letterman jacket. He couldn't let Doyoung catch wind of what was written because he wouldn't hear the end of it. And even he could admit that _because you're my sweet potato_ sounded a bit too sickeningly sweet. Doyoung eyed the jacket in which he had slipped the note into — it belonged to Jaehyun. And Taeyong knew that it was Jaehyun attempting to stake some sort of claim by letting Taeyong wear it around campus, and the gesture was oddly possessive, but Taeyong kept it regardless. He would've been nothing but a liar if he said he didn't like it.

Taeyong rummaged through his open locker before pausing at his spare, folded uniform tucked away in the shadows. He bit down on his lip before turning to Doyoung slowly, but it was as if the Beta had an affinity for reading his mind because he levelled Taeyong with a look so unimpressed that it caused every plead threatening to fall from his lips to turn to bitter shame.

"No, you cannot go for extra cheer practice just to see Jaehyun play on the field," Doyoung said plainly.

Taeyong narrowed his eyes at him as a feeble challenge, but Doyoung was bigger, stronger, and had greater resolve. Taeyong's puppy dog eyes and pout wouldn't work on him. He wasn't Jaehyun who could be manipulated when Taeyong so much as bat an eye. Taeyong's gaze softened as he sighed, turning away from Doyoung after having lost to him. He forced his eyes away from the uniform that seemed to possess some sort of gravitational pull before quickly pulling out what he'd come for and shutting the door of the locker, petulant.

Doyoung rolled his eyes. "We have exams in a month. Come on, we're going to the library," Doyoung said, and Doyoung's words were final. With one last wistful glance towards the exit leading to the freer outside, Taeyong let himself be pulled away by Doyoung's firm hands.

Taeyong opened the door to Jaehyun's apartment, feet dragging heavily as exhaustion trickled from the pores in his bones. The apartment smelled like the both of them — two light scents merged together to make something refreshing. Jaehyun had always been oddly fruity for an Alpha, but Taeyong preferred his scent to that of smoke or cedar. Or maybe he was just biased, but that had always been a habit he couldn't nip in the bud even if he tried.

He felt Jaehyun's eyes on him as soon as he entered, warm in the way they filled him up and soothed his soul. Jaehyun was sitting on the sofa, pulled back from whatever he had been doing on his laptop, and eyes following Taeyong as the Omega shrugged off his jacket and bag, trawling his feet inside. Taeyong stopped to stare at Jaehyun who was grinning at him softly — his own silent welcome home.

Jaehyun spread his arms and cocked his head. "Recharge?"

Taeyong nodded and made his way over to him, feeling re-energised with every step now that he was at home and not in the library where he was forced to study with Doyoung for hours. It was a vile punishment, Taeyong thought. But all forms of resentment were ebbed away once he collapsed and slipped into Jaehyun's arms and mellow embrace. Jaehyun pulled him unto his lap and cradled Taeyong's head to his chest, and Taeyong could hear the stable beat of the Alpha's heart with his ear pressed up against the flat planes of his chest — rhythmic and slow.

He closed his eyes and allowed Jaehyun's energy to soak into the very skin and tender bones that held him together. "Long day?" Jaehyun asked, voice as smooth as velvet.

"You don't even know. Some of these professors are crazy," Taeyong complained, still not opening his eyes.

His hand went to Jaehyun's shirt to clutch it for a moment as if to stop the tingling in his fingertips — it was as if Jaehyun used that voice on purpose, at times. Maybe Taeyong was simply easy to read, or perhaps Jaehyun was just skilled in knowing how to melt him from the inside out — liquid, like melted butter.

And for a few passing seconds, Taeyong smelt the beginnings of hesitance in Jaehyun's scent. It was masked over just as soon as it came, though, and the answer was given to him before he even thought to ask. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to switch majors again?" Jaehyun questioned.

Taeyong opened his eyes to see Jaehyun peering down at him with a mix of curiosity of worry, and he made a face. "Of course not. It was such a pain to get into this one. Who knew the amount of papers you needed to switch were so many, jeez."

Taeyong's face pinched, and Jaehyun chuckled, the feeling of it reverberating from his chest into Taeyong's spine, causing him to shiver. After going through the whole process once, Taeyong wasn't ready to even think about how much rushing he was forced to do over the Summer, not to mention explaining to his parents that he was unhappy with it again. Taeyong paused, fiddling with the hem of Jaehyun's thin, black shirt and humming.

"Besides, I quite like art. Beats numbers." He scrunched his nose. "I hate maths."

Jaehyun raised a brow, lips quirking upwards. "You're talkin' to a maths major, baby."

"I don't know how you do it, either. You scare me." Taeyong faux shuddered, and Jaehyun tipped his head back to let out a boisterous laugh. Taeyong couldn't help but smile at him. He felt better now — rejuvenated — and his heart was thrumming against his ribcage with newfound life.

When Jaehyun looked back down at him, baritone laughter fading into something calm, like waves approaching the shore, Taeyong blinked up owlishly at him. Sometimes Jaehyun would stare at him, like he was now, eyes locked on him intensely whilst he'd go oddly quiet. In those moments, Taeyong would be hit with a storm of butterflies and be forced to look away. He didn't know how it was possible to feel the same way after years had passed from their childhood. He thought it would've settled into a more lingering, pleasant feeling, but _no,_ the sight of Jaehyun was still enough to send his heart into frenzy.

Taeyong looked away from him, a growing flush rising up from his neck. And then, he had a thought. "Do you think..." he turned back to Jaehyun slowly, still engulfed in the Alpha's soothing embrace, "that if I presented as an Alpha, you still would've liked me?"

"Yes, Tae, even as an alpha, I still would've liked you," Jaehyun said flatly, and Taeyong's eyes widened. He had expected some sort of hesitance, some sort of missing beat, but Jaehyun's hadn't even taken to a second to think. And Taeyong had asked because he was as nosy as he was curious. It had always been a possibility for that fact that he presented late — it meant that anything could've happened, and whatever fate decided would be what he had to go with.

Jaehyun stared down blankly at him, and Taeyong tilted his head innocently, lips quirking upwards at a sudden idea. "So you would've let me top you?" he prompted. Jaehyun narrowed his eyes, and Taeyong burst into an unrestrained fit of laughter. "I was joking," he said, cupping the dying giggles in his hand.

The sudden action of Jaehyun bucking his hips upwards made Taeyong gasp, jolted out of laughter. Taeyong sat up straighter in Jaehyun's lap, scrambling so he wouldn't fall. There was a teasing glint in Jaehyun's eyes as he spoke, and in all honesty, Taeyong knew he should've seen it coming a mile away. "Alpha or not, you still would've taken it up the ass."

"Jaehyun, that is so _vulgar._ "

Jaehyun grinned, and suddenly, Taeyong was aware of the hand placed firmly on his thigh, thumb stroking it, and the shifting scent in the air. "Yeah, but you like it."

Taeyong couldn't even find it in himself to deny. Jaehyun saw right through him, as if he was glass or translucent paper with a hole cut right through the middle to take a peek into his very heart. "Ha ha, very funny," Taeyong lifted himself up from Jaehyun's lap, steadying himself using the Alpha's chest. His Omega whined, but he shut it up. He was getting better at taming his instincts these days, but Jaehyun, not so much. "And what are we eating for dinner?"

"Are you dating me just because I can cook, Bubu? Is that what I've been reduced to? Your servant? You want me to sit at home all day cooking, cleaning, and waiting on your hand and foot?" Jaehyun said, clutching a hand to his chest in a dramatic display of astonishment.

Taeyong slitted his eyes and thinned his lips, staring at Jaehyun's glimmering expression for a minute before opting to walk to the kitchen to fix himself up something to eat. Maybe he should've felt bad for expecting Jaehyun to cook everyday, but it had become ingrained in their routine, and Jaehyun normally wouldn't ask before doing it. He had the mind to let out a muttered apology before he felt the wind knocked out of him as Jaehyun's arms circled his torso, pulling him back up against his sternum.

"I'm kidding. But you do know I'd do all those things if you asked," Jaehyun said, placing his chin to rest in the crook of Taeyong's neck, keeping Taeyong fixed in place with his arms. Taeyong smiled amusedly, entertaining the thought of Jaehyun dropping sports and school to sit at home and perform house husband duties. But he was snapped out of his thoughts when Jaehyun's teeth nicked his ear, and then his lips grazed Taeyong's skin to whisper, "Besides, I can think of a better dinner."

Taeyong wriggled free and left in the direction of the bedroom without sparing the Alpha a second glance. "Go order chinese."

"I find it so sexy when you eat."

Taeyong's head snapped towards Jaehyun laying beside him on the bed, face illuminated by the glowing moonlight flitting in through the curtains. He creased his brows, studying Jaehyun for a moment that felt like an eternity before realising that there was no real playfulness on his eyes. Jaehyun was simply staring at him. Taeyong pursed his lips and weakly attempted to push Jaehyun's hand from where it lay on his stomach, rubbing soothing circles, but the Alpha's hand wouldn't budge, and Taeyong was too tired and satiated to try harder.

"Is this another kink to add to the list?" Taeyong intoned, shifting his neck more comfortably on Jaehyun's outstretched arm. If the nerves within the Alpha's arms had turned to static from numbness, he didn't complain.

"No. I find everything you do sexy. Walking? Sexy. Talking? Sexy." Jaehyun's body creeped in closer as he spoke, scent swirling around Taeyong and imprisoning him in a way that would've been unpleasant if it were anyone else. Instead, he found himself being hit by a burst of tingles travelling from his head to his toes and warmth in his belly, as if there were a million little stars pooling within him. Jaehyun's breath tickled his ear as he nosed Taeyong's nape.

"Breathing? Sexy."

"If this is a roundabout way of saying you're horny..." Taeyong flipped over to face the Alpha, eyes flickering from Jaehyun's inviting lips to his darkened eyes, waiting for Taeyong's approval. "The answer is no. I'm tired from yesterday, but _maybe_ tomorrow."

Jaehyun blinked to clear his eyes, and almost at once, he pulled back and dotted soft kisses on Taeyong's cheek instead. "Okay."

Taeyong put his hands to his chest and snuggled in closer, allowing Jaehyun to drape an arm over his side, curling his hand in and pulling him forth so that Taeyong was met face to face with the carved walls of his exposed chest. Jaehyun, unbeknownst to Taeyong some time ago, had a beautifully drawn tattoo on his right pectoral, one that flexed in shape when he so much as moved a muscle. Taeyong admired the artwork, fingers dancing over its outline — it was simple, and though it wasn't what Taeyong would've expected him to have gotten, it suited him someway, somehow.

"What does it mean?" He hadn't thought to ask until now, and the thought struck him like lightning.

"Nothing really," Jaehyun began nonchalantly, "just some dumb decision I made in senior year." Taeyong had caught the white lie, yet chose not to speak on it. Perhaps it was significant, or held some unknown milestone of importance, but he wouldn't pry if Jaehyun wasn't ready to tell him.

And to Jaehyun, it wasn't just some _dumb decision_ that he had made in senior year. The tattoo was something that he had spent months of thoughts on before ultimately deciding on the design. The clover was a symbol of _luck,_ and despite being bitter and angry at a lot of things at the time, even his eighteen year old self knew he was lucky for what little people he had in his life — Johnny, Mark on the occasion, and most importantly, _Taeyong._ It was over his heart, and that was where Taeyong lay. He'd gotten it with Johnny the last weekend of senior year, along with matching infinity signs on their inner wrists. But he decided he'd tell Taeyong the story another day.

Instead, Jaehyun leaned down to place a kiss on Taeyong's jugular and murmur words only meant for him to hear. "My therapist told me she thinks I have attachment issues yesterday."

"I probably have them too considering that I didn't know how to let go of you," Taeyong chuckled.

To him, it was a joke, but it made Jaehyun run silent, nothing but the almost audible sound of breathing between them and the racing of Taeyong's heart. Taeyong pulled back to scour Jaehyun's features and to see if the carelessness in his words had somehow upset him, but there was something other than ire in his eyes. Something vast, and bright, and beautiful, like an ocean Taeyong would choose to drown in and burn his lungs with salt water if only to be filled with the loving emotion.

"Tae," Jaehyun said softly, hand coming up to brush away gravity defying strands of hair from Taeyong's forehead. Taeyong closed his eyes, lazying in the warmth of Jaehyun's arms as he hummed a noncommittal reply. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything."

Taeyong's lips curved into a smile, and he opened his eyes, turning in Jaehyun's arms to face him. Jaehyun's grip grew tighter, pulling him in so that Taeyong was impossibly close, molding his body in front of Jaehyun's chest — the perfect puzzle piece. He raised a hand to cradle Jaehyun's jaw and used his thumb to stroke it, eyes locked unto Jaehyun's whose were unreadable. He wasn't closing up, Taeyong knew, but he was in deep thought, and Taeyong would be the one to throw out that uncertain hook into the murky waters to reel him back in.

He moved his hand to swipe away the Alpha's hair. "What would your friends say if they knew that you were just a big ol' softie?"

Jaehyun frowned and nuzzled him closer. "I don't care. You like it, don't you?" Jaehyun asked, pausing to peer down at him. Taeyong nodded. "Good. Then that's all that matters."

Jaehyun didn't ask before leaning down to meet his lips, and Taeyong didn't ask before using a hand to knot his hair and pull the Alpha in further. It was lazy and it was languid, but Taeyong could feel the emotion behind it, Jaehyun's feelings branching inside him, sinewy, growing from his very core and expanding like the tendrils of a flickering flame. Times like this, Taeyong that, was when the world around them ceased, and nothing but the two of them would exist together in the dark night and one, solitary room.

Jaehyun's tongue was warm as it explored him, and Taeyong's was cool to douse the flames. Taeyong pulled away first just to admire him — just for his eyes to roam the beauty that had been carved out by God himself — and to map out each cut and wrinkled crevice into his mind. They were silent for the rest of the night because unsaid words were needless thoughts. It had taken them all the time in the world to reach such a level of unspoken understanding, and they had many more of those years to come.

This, Taeyong thought, may just as well have been their very beginning.

"Sometimes..." Jaehyun whispered to himself as he lulled Taeyong to sleep, sheltered in his arms. "Sometimes I think I don't deserve you."

The night sky was breathtaking, Taeyong surmised as he stared up at it. There was something different about it during the wintertime, and it seemed to glow in a different way — the light of the moon and stars reflecting in his eyes. It was enrapturing to stare at the moon which held so much unfamiliar familiarity for the simple fact that he'd spent restless nights staring at it. He always felt a surge of raw energy in the night, one that crackled in the air and caused an undercurrent of warmth to cut through him.

Taeyong's gaze fell from the stars to the hand interlaced with his as they walked side by side. Jaehyun, as much as he tried to hide it, was down from what had happened earlier. Taeyong could read him like an open book, one in which he had already turned every page, so when he squeezed Jaehyun's fingers and Jaehyun didn't squeeze back, it told him that his inkling of Jaehyun's emotions was true.

"We still have the rest of the night," Taeyong reassured him, nudging into the Alpha's side. "So what if we missed our reservations because we were late by a couple of minutes?"

"An hour," Jaehyun corrected monotonously, a hint of woefulness in his voice.

Taeyong's cheeks flamed and guilt spilled out through the fractures in his being. It was his fault at his core, and they both knew that, with the extra hour _and a half_ that Taeyong had spent getting ready. And Jaehyun had booked it a month ago — some expensive, high rise restaurant with an open rooftop and view into the city lights from above. Taeyong hadn't minded when they were told that their seats had been taken just minutes before, content enough with his own view from down below and the normalcy of it all with Jaehyun next to him, side by side, together openly, lovingly, and simply.

Though, Jaehyun didn't appear to share the same sentiment.

Taeyong stopped in his tracks, forcing Jaehyun to halt with him. He placed his free hand on his hip, lips quirking upwards in pure amusement. "Jung Jaehyun, are you sulking?"

"No."

"Yes you are," Taeyong teased, going up on his tippy toes to trap a slice of the Alpha's soft flesh between his fingers and give it a short, sharp squeeze. The pout on Jaehyun's lips was unmistakable — rosy lips coming forward, enticing even in the glacial cold. Though, if there was ever a thorn in Jaehyun's flesh, Taeyong's fond smile worked as its emollient.

"Now," Taeyong said, pausing to glance at their surroundings before spotting an empty children's park, "come with me."

As quiet as the stars in the night but burning brighter than their flame, Taeyong pulled Jaehyun across the sidewalk to the park in determination. It was locked, they came to realise when they got to the paint-chipped, coloured gates surrounding it, but Taeyong was undeterred. And so, he let go of Jaehyun's hand to place them firmly around the metal handles and attempt to haul himself up. Pink dusted over his cheeks from equal parts blood rush and embarrassment from the way Jaehyun was standing behind him, watching him try and try again in vain.

Taeyong squeaked when his feet were whisked away from the solid ground as Jaehyun scooped him up in his arms and placed him carefully on the other side. Just as quick and just as noiselessly, the Alpha used a hand to haul himself over, and Taeyong turned away from him, his previous embarrassment growing tenfolds. Taeyong took the lead, kicking small rocks and circling the small playground equipment, running a hand over their metal bits and pieces. His eyes lit up once he spotted the swings — small and rectangular but just big enough to fit his slender build.

He turned back around to Jaehyun, hopping from foot to foot and doe eyes widening in excitement. "Push me."

Jaehyun nodded, and together they puttered over to the swings. Taeyong took a seat with Jaehyun behind him and let the Alpha push, slowly at first before gaining power. The thrill of being in the air for mere seconds was enough to elevate the pounding in his chest, and he held the chain handles with vice grip. Every time he was cast upwards, a new wave of nostalgia hit him, rushing and falling over him like waves upon a shore. They'd spent their time together as kids the same way.

And Jaehyun had been stubborn then, awfully so, but at the end of every day, he would still be behind Taeyong, propelling him forward on a set of swings with every small push. Taeyong remembered the way his feet kicked gleefully and just how scorned the Alpha would look, as if Taeyong had stolen his favourite toy, when forced to push him for minutes that faded into hours. Even then, Jaehyun had never complained of his arms growing tired or his feet growing weak — he'd let Taeyong have his fun over and over again even if, sometimes, the favour wasn't returned.

Another memory flooded him — stronger this time — the first time he felt an overwhelming urge to kiss the Alpha when they were thirteen and fourteen, sitting on the monkey bars, and he listened as Jaehyun spoke about some game of football he'd won with Johnny, a faraway look in his eyes whenever he'd get excited.

It was the beginning of something more that had blossomed that day, Taeyong knew now, like the seed that had been plantrd in his heart when they were kids had suddenly been watered by Jaehyun's words and had come to life, its roots anchoring itself into him forever. He wondered if Jaehyun remembered that day, or the match he'd gone on and on about, or if he had noticed something shift in Taeyong's expression and features. He wondered if Jaehyun, like him, watered the tender leaves of that growing plant all these years.

"Do you remember the day we were playing hide and seek and I left you there for hours?" Taeyong asked, shoulders shaking with light laughter as he was again pushed upwards.

Jaehyun's answer was almost inaudible. "I remember."

"I actually got called in for dinner and forgot I left you there, but when I went out to look again, you were gone. You were so good at that game, it was annoying," Taeyong went on. When no answer came, he instead kept his eyes trained to the sky — visible, white air mystifying every time he breathed out. And it was slow at first — the snow that came. White, powdery crystals falling like stars from the sky.

"It's snowing," Taeyong pointed out quietly.

And then, he paused, feeling gravity pull him down, slower this time. He hadn't noticed when Jaehyun had stopped pushing him until the world came to a grinding halt beneath his feet. He glanced around to tell Jaehyun again, louder this time, but the sight he was met with made his breath catch in his throat, and his heart falter, as if deciding whether to come to a crashing halt or quicken its pace all at once. Jaehyun on one knee, with a veil of snow surrounding him, was enough to make his heart instead decide to swell and burst.

"What are you doing?" Taeyong's voice quivered as he spoke, and he pushed himself off the swings with shaky fingers, rounding them to instead stand in front of the Alpha. He hoped to find a playfulness in his eyes but was met with nothing sincerity and openness swimming inside. And Taeyong didn't want to get his hopes up. He didn't want to wish for something so fast and _so soon._ He didn't want to bring himself up, only to come crashing down when it wasn't what his mind had thought it would be.

But Jaehyun opened up the small, black box in his palms to reveal a ring. Dainty, beautiful, silver, and studded around its circumference. Taeyong blinked, words lost, absorbing the moment like a plant soaking the sun. But Jaehyun was the moon, and he shone — an effervescent glow around him, one that pulled Taeyong in so much that he couldn't pry his eyes away to look at anything else.

There was a thin layer of plea in Jaehyun's voice as he spoke, one masked with honesty. "It's a promise ring. For now. Forever, if you'll have me."

Jaehyun stood up from the ground upon receiving no reply, Taeyong too struck to speak. His fingers trembled almost unnoticeably as he took Taeyong's hands in his to slip on the ring, though not from cold, from the genuine fear that Taeyong would look him in the eyes and shatter his dreams by saying _no._ To him, he was undeserving, so if that came as Taeyong's answer, he would understand. And he would wait. He would wait until Taeyong was ready.

Though, it was a moment Taeyong had conjured up in his mind endless times — something like a promise ring, something like a wedding ring, something small but meaningful. Taeyong had visualised all the ways in which it could happen. He had spent nights daydreaming of an idealistic future in a painfully unrealistic reality, so to see it manifest — to see it come _true_ — was enough for tears to prick his eyes, stinging with an almost pleasant, familiar pain.

"I understand if—"

"Yes," Taeyong cut in, dispelling the multiplying undertones of worry in the air. "Yes to the promise ring."

Bracketed in Jaehyun's arms, Taeyong surged forward to meet his lips, tasting the tears that were streaming down his face. His heart ricocheted in his chest, cracking its walls, and his stomach simmered with something warm, yet all consuming. _Kissing Jaehyun_ was all consuming. And there was blanketed desperation in the way Jaehyun kissed him, too, like he was afraid of the moment ending and letting go, but Taeyong slowed it down, unhurried, with the knowledge that they had all the time in the world. They had this lifetime and more to come.

Jaehyun's tongue was warm as it grazed his lips and slipped past for more, and his fingers held Taeyong's nape delicately, almost as if they were never there, almost as if Taeyong would pull away if he pressed any harder. But Taeyong did pull away — he pulled away in some brilliant haze of laughter, tears, and joy. Their end had been solidified, he repeated, and this was only their beginning. And when he opened his eyes to see Jaehyun's soft smile, he cupped the Alpha's cheeks in his hands, cradling him gently.

Taeyong lips pulled themselves into a fond smile. He felt light. "You know, if you had asked for a marriage proposal... I don't think I would've said no."

Something flashed in Jaehyun's eyes. "Really?"

"Really." Taeyong's lidded eyes flitted to his lips, and he leaned forward until their lips were barely touching, and they were sharing one breath, unified — it was the ghost of a kiss. "Because I've been yours from the very beginning."

_Fated to you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that’s it. that’s the end. fated to you is _over,_ can you believe it? and this is the _exact_ ending i had in mind when i planned it. thank you to anyone who had been following this fic and who was so kind as to leave me a comment as the chapters progressed. They were genuinely the sole thing that kept me going sometimes when i felt like giving up on this.
> 
> secondly, the biggest thank you to internetsdad for allowing me to gift this fic in the first place. it was with her permission that i could write this.
> 
> and finally, simply thank you for reading, commenting, leaving a kudo, or even just a hit. thank you so much for reading and making it to the end of this. you are all amazing!!!! <3 
> 
> (and if there is one thing i’ve learned from this fic, it is that i am simply dramatic)  
> [twt](https://mobile.twitter.com/starhoneyy)  
> [cc comments and questions also welcomed](https://curiouscat.qa/starhoneyyy)


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